Quaranteam: Florida Man; Part 1
Added 2023-09-26 10:10:23 +0000 UTCThe following will be an audience-directed story in the Quaranteam universe. Make sure to leave your most Florida Man ideas for the prompt at the end of the section!
“I heartily approve of this ridiculousness” - CorruptingPower
- - - - -
How it happened, Specialist Jessica Meyers couldn’t really be sure.
First, the world started ending - for most people, that would have been a good sign that things weren’t going well in her life. But Jessica was born and raised in Florida. Gators, snakes, hurricanes, flooding, Disneyland - there were signs of the apocalypse all the time in between the sunshine and beaches. What was a little sickness, a little virus, compared to a stampede of wild boars through the family plot? Do you know what those fucking hogs can be carrying? Fucking anthrax. Google it.
Next, though, came the orders from on high. Jessica didn’t know where they came from, or who decided to make them. She’d been in the Army for six months before the lockdowns started, and was going on a year in when she got called into her Staff Sergeants' office on base.
Jessica snapped to Parade Rest in front of his desk.
The Sergeant shot a half-hearted nod back at her and then waved dismissively. “At ease,” he said. “How are things going, SPC Meyers?”
“Well, sir,” Jessica said. “We’ve been on alert for like four months straight now. No one knows what’s going on so it’s become normal, which makes it all feel like we’re in the eye of a storm just waiting for the next wall to hit.”
“Mm, that’s fair,” the Sergeant nodded. He was tapping a folded envelope in his hands as he looked out the window onto the bleak-looking base. His desk was scattered messily with papers, more of them stacked haphazardly behind him on the shelf. Jessica worried that she was about to get reassigned to be his assistant just so he could get someone to clean up his mess.
“Can I ask why I got called in, sir?” Jessica asked through the medical mask she was wearing. The Staff Sergeant was wearing the same thing, along with both of them wearing disposable gloves. It was the latest ‘safety measure’ on base.
“You weren’t a regular enlistment, correct Specialist?” the Sergeant pivoted the conversation, turning back to her.
“Um… no, sir,” Jessica said. The story behind how she ended up a 26-year-old woman in basic training wasn’t public knowledge, though she knew some of her ranking officers had been made aware of some of the details. It wasn’t really legal for a court to order someone into military service these days, but when your Granddaddy is a judge and golfs twice a month with a two-star General, well, deals get made sometimes.
The Sergeant sighed, tapping that envelope against his fingers again. “Alright, well, orders are orders.” He handed Jessica the envelope. “You’re receiving a promotion to Sergeant effective immediately, and you’re being reassigned. Follow the directions inside.”
Jessica took the envelope but blinked in confusion. She still had over three years of service before she could be considered for a promotion. The only reason she was even a Specialist was because of her degree, which had been another one of those things her Granddaddy had pretty much shoved down her throat using blackmail and leverage. Same with the all-girls private school she’d been forced to go to before that.
“Serg?” she asked.
“You’re dismissed, Sergeant,” he said, nodding towards the door and dismissing her without an answer.
Jessica, not knowing what to do, nodded and left.
She never did get more of an explanation.
- - - - -
August 15th, 2020
“Dickie!” Jessica shouted.
The fucking idiot was about to die again.
He was dressed in nothing but a pair of stretchy short-shorts that Jessica was fairly certain he’d borrowed from Elly, a pair of sunglasses and a backwards baseball cap. To be fair - he had the body to carry it. Tall, ridiculously sculpted from spending way more time in the gym than necessary, and with a boyish charm that was disarming before you figured out what an animal he was. The significant bulge showing in the tight shorts was the primary saving grace for Dickie Dutton.
Unfortunately, it was Jessica’s job to make sure Dickie didn’t die. And he was currently swimming in a river, the tow rope for the rowboat clenched in his teeth. He was only using one hand to swim, however, because the other was keeping his tall boy can of Dos Equis out of the water, so he was moving slowly.
Slow, however, didn’t help with the alligator problem. No one was supposed to be swimming in the fucking river because of the fucking alligators. Jessica could see three of them from where she was running down the raised dock.
‘If you want to go out on the water, use the speedboat or the rowboat,’ Dickies father had told her over the phone. She’d never met the man, but he called to check in every morning on his son. It had immediately become clear to her when they had reached the house why that was. And if it had just been Jessica and Dickie, she would have been fine in keeping him safe and under control.
The problem was that the others egged him on. Constantly.
Elly and Barb were in nothing but bikinis and sunglasses, as usual. Elly was a tall redhead, absolutely gorgeous and stacked to the point that Jessica had willingly fallen into bed with her a couple of times now. When she wasn’t drunk, or high, she was a fantastic person to be around. Unfortunately booze, pot and coke were in ready supply. Jessica still hadn’t figured out how Dickie was getting the drugs.
Barb was a tiny, lithe redhead with an attitude and seemed to constantly be horny. If she wasn’t acting wild and encouraging Dickie to do something stupid because they were bored, she was humping him like a horny little chihuahua.
Now both of the redheads, double-fisting wine coolers as Barb had a cigar hanging from between her lips, were in the row boat and Dickie was apparently taking them on a tour of the river that the house backed onto.
“God fucking damn it, Dickie!” Jessica shouted from the dock. She’d spotted two gators sliding into the water, and who knew how many more were currently stealthing in his direction. If Dickie’s father hadn’t been calling her for another check-in, so that he could report to Dickie’s grandfather the US Senator, she would have been able to stop this before it started.
She had her pistol strapped to her thigh, and a knife on the other. She could run into the house to get one of the long guns she’d been furnished with. The speedboat was still moored to the dock, cover off, but she wasn’t sure if the keys were inside it or not.
In any world other than the one she was in, she would have let Dickie die of his own stupidity. Probably. Even if she was assigned to be his bodyguard - though it was much more like being his babysitter. Any other world, and he’d be dead already.
But Jessica was tied to Dickie by way of a government serum that was supposedly keeping them both alive through the pandemic. She needed his cum to live, which meant she needed him alive.
Golden fucking clit-cuffs. Or whatever.
What does Jessica do, and what goes wrong?
Comments
I'm fairly sure that CP is writing QT2, not Break, and he just dropped the next chapter (though it is an intermission chapter).
Don Alejo
2023-10-06 03:32:40 +0000 UTCThis isn't an excuse, it's Fun. Writing needs to be Fun for me to do well, and sometimes that means taking a couple of hours to write something silly.
BreaktheBar
2023-10-04 04:27:39 +0000 UTCAnother SHORT excuse for not writing QT2 stories. Gators, in my book, are the 2nd ugliest animals in the world. Having been assigned to Egypt, I vote the camel the number 1 is the Camel. Stay safe
Admiral Ale
2023-10-03 09:14:54 +0000 UTCI wasn't Army, so I'll happily defer to those in the know.
Rick Shaw
2023-09-28 20:16:06 +0000 UTCThat sounds like something that Dickie may attempt to figure out in the future...
BreaktheBar
2023-09-28 19:50:38 +0000 UTCAttention or parade rest both are acceptable when reporting to superior. My biggest teeth grinder is the SPC calling the SSG sir. Sir is for officers. Not enlisted including NCOs. SGT or SSG (SSgt - Airforce) is appropriate and acceptable. Of the comments I do like the idea of being reassigned to QTNW like comments said. Could make a few chapters as Florida for accident and reassignment (re-imprinting) and she could be assigned harry team or ?? As his security but also help out as a deputy and keep harry out of trouble with Malory
Justin
2023-09-28 19:29:38 +0000 UTCTheoretically, how much alcohol would it take to get a full size alligator drunk, and what would happen?
Krysm Phoenix
2023-09-28 18:29:05 +0000 UTCThere are a few people that an enlisted would come to attention for another enlisted but not many. Reporting to your new supervisor for the first time would warrant that. Reporting to the First Sergeant would usually require that though a Staff Sergeant is usually an e4 or 5 depending on the branch and you can't be a 1st Shirt until at least e7. The only other time would be for disciplinary action. Otherwise it would be super not common. Also "at ease", pretty much is parade rest.
TheEvilSmurf42
2023-09-28 06:27:51 +0000 UTCperhaps, a specialist is analogous to a corporal. again depends upon how tight a ship is being run and how she was sent for.
Rick Shaw
2023-09-28 03:02:07 +0000 UTCI had another military vet telling me that a Specialist wouldn't snap to attention with a Staff Sergeant, and used 'snap to parade rest' as the alternative. I will do more research!
BreaktheBar
2023-09-28 02:32:29 +0000 UTCdepending on the caliber of the handgun on her hip, she could hit the gator in the head and if it just bounce off.
Rick Shaw
2023-09-27 22:21:44 +0000 UTCA couple of detail items from the opening scene. It is DisneyWorld in Florida. Disneyland is in So Cal. The other thing is military-related. You don't snap to parade rest; you snap to attention. Depending on how tight a ship the unit Sgt is running, she should say something like Specialist Meyers reporting as ordered.
Rick Shaw
2023-09-27 22:18:08 +0000 UTCShe shoots the beer can. He freaks out and yells at her. She yells that there are alligators coming for him. He starts to get in the boat with throwing on leg up. The alligator bites his crotch taking half his dick and both balls. He still manages to get in the boat with the help of the 2 girls. At the same time,Jessica runs to power boat but no keys. She runs back to the house for the key and then back. Then drives the boat over to save them. Senator is pissed but the army cannot fault her for saving his life. They send her across country to get away from the Senator.
Brett
2023-09-27 15:20:56 +0000 UTCShe decides to run to the speedboat, but finds that the keys aren't inside so she cuts one of the mooring lines with her knife intending to toss it to Dickie and pull him to shore. It hits him in the face as she intended finally getting his attention and he notices the gators causing him to grab and pull on the line after Jessica has gotten a firm grip but before she's properly braced herself, yanking her off the dock and into the water.
Grayghost
2023-09-27 13:55:43 +0000 UTC😳
OkieDokeDude
2023-09-27 11:21:04 +0000 UTCThere could be a possibility of Dickie not dying but getting castrated. 🤔
Brett
2023-09-27 03:27:45 +0000 UTCThis one. This is Florida meme all over. Break, hope we can treat this story a bit more absurdedly comedic. Bit of a breath of fresh air compared to the relative seriousness of the other QT stories you and Corrupting Power put out.
Kahunabob
2023-09-27 03:17:26 +0000 UTCI completely agree. I was just going for the basic outline. I like your rough draft though.
Brett
2023-09-27 00:12:37 +0000 UTCOk, ok… I know that’s a little simple and thin on plot development, so let’s run with that idea a little further. It’s time we start facing the fact that men, even being strongly guarded and protected, are going to occasionally die. It’s time to address that eventuality and explore the ramifications and potential solutions. Yes, I get it he’s the son of a VIP, but he’s an idiot and he is not immortal. To give Jessica a bit more credit for trying to save him she gets injured trying to save them (yes them, the row boat gets capsized in the melee when Red 1 and Red 2 realize what’s happening and belatedly try to get Dickie into the boat) when a gator grabs her arm and pulls her under. She uses the other hand that was holding her pistol to cap the gator pulling her under and with the help of an adrenaline rush manages to pull herself onto the dock before passing out. She awakens in the hospital and while the senator is pissed the military whisks her away and get their brave hero Sarge re-paired with a better man. I vote Harrison, but there are lots of great guys out there. (The who and how’s of re-pairing are up to you and CP, but as men die a method for re-pairing has to be out there. Perhaps she becomes a forced experiment for a new methodology? ) Ok, I’m not a writer, but that’s my thought of the best outcome for the best person in this little vignette .
OkieDokeDude
2023-09-26 22:18:09 +0000 UTCI like this option best! This guy has dodged his Darwin Award long enough. Get Miriam involved and she can put Jessica on Harri’s crew to help with security and help keep him out of trouble.
OkieDokeDude
2023-09-26 22:07:38 +0000 UTCI like the pet gator reunification and the shooting the beer to get his attention ideas. Best I got is - "Florida man, mistaking a cottonmouth for a rope, tossed it to his would-be rescuer,"
patient1
2023-09-26 20:03:01 +0000 UTCJessica puts a shot over the bow yelling to get dickie in the boat or shes going to put a few bullets in the hull and see if they like swimming with the gators. Also I live in Fla ( between orlando and daytona) and those big bastards can show up anywhere.
Psychopuppy
2023-09-26 16:50:27 +0000 UTCJessica goes for the speedboat. Back luck, the keys aren't in sight. She draws her pistol and taking a careful aim, she cuts the rope that Dickie uses in his towing. Surprised, he goes under and let go of his beer. After a few agonizing seconds out of sight, he finally reappears near the boat but only to call the girls encouraging them to jump in the river to have some fun. As the two redheads seem to be about to dive, Jessica becomes frantic as she spots one gator moving toward him. She knows her ordnance isn't near enough for it. She looks around and suddenly grabs the emergency box, opens it and loads the flare gun. She fires at the beast to scare it. Dickie realizes at last what's happening and starts to swim at the double in her direction… leaving the girls behind in that small rowboat with at least another gator closing in…
ThL
2023-09-26 15:44:37 +0000 UTCDickey gets killed. All three girls are put in a position that they need a new male. The scientists have been working on new transfer serum but extremely experimental. They get transferred up to Oregon. Jessica gets placed with our fun crew in Jewel.
Brett
2023-09-26 15:04:47 +0000 UTCI'm supporting this one, and adding suggestion that the oars are missing, and Dickie is so pissed about his beer he's chewing Jessica out instead of tossing the tow rope to Jessica when she pulls up in the power boat.
Ronan
2023-09-26 13:38:17 +0000 UTC#2 sounds the most likely, but it would kill the story.
Ronan
2023-09-26 13:27:07 +0000 UTCHeh heh, didn't see this before I posted mine, obv. I like your idea of shooting the beer 😁
Toodles McGhee
2023-09-26 13:00:45 +0000 UTCOption 1: Jessica shoots the beer out of his hand, and so he swims back to her to retaliate (and incidentally away from the gator danger). Option 2, Dickie gets gatored and with stumps instead of legs is bedridden for the rest if his life, available as a boy-toy cure but no longer able to wreak havoc while the ladies live out their lives on their terms, no babysitting required. I'm kinda for option #2, but acknowledge that WOULD end this story practically before it gets started...
Toodles McGhee
2023-09-26 12:58:54 +0000 UTCLmao
SovietDegendays
2023-09-26 12:34:45 +0000 UTCOr, she manage to get his attention on the coming gators, he panics, tries to get aboard the rowboat but gets it to capsize, now three people in harm’s way.
Teufel
2023-09-26 12:26:37 +0000 UTCJessica uses a gator graber pôle to catch Dickie and pull hum out of water quickly, but he pulls her in the water
Teufel
2023-09-26 12:23:59 +0000 UTCJessica dives in to save Dickie from the nearest gator only to find out that this gator is ‘Bubba’ Dickie’s gator that was flushed down the drain as a child. Dickie and Bubba have a tearful reunion.
Kumo Mi
2023-09-26 12:22:35 +0000 UTCOf course its too much to ask that the virus would take care of the meme problem plaguing Florida...poor Jessica. I think she shoots the beer out of his hand to get his attention and then she gets him to notice the gators in time for him to scramble up into the boat.
Mehntal1st
2023-09-26 11:52:13 +0000 UTCGator attacks Dickie, he gets some cuts and bruises, gator gets tangled up with toe rope and rowboat, Dickie escapes and chugs the rest of his beer in celebration.
Loneshot
2023-09-26 11:26:45 +0000 UTCThis is the kind of mistake a man makes when his parents never took him to Disneyworld OR land as a kid.
BreaktheBar
2023-09-26 11:05:02 +0000 UTCI usually try not to correct authors, but Disneyworld is in Florida, Disneyland is California. I can’t believe I’m being a stickler about this because the place is hell on earth, but there you have it.
Loneshot
2023-09-26 10:56:08 +0000 UTCWhoops! I remembered to change the Gators in the opening paragraph, but said crocs again later. My bad, that'll get changed.
BreaktheBar
2023-09-26 10:34:52 +0000 UTCCrocs are not likely at all. Alligators are what we have down here in Florida. What happens? One of the gators starts making a move towards Dickie in the water. He manages to not get eaten, but loses his precious beer in the process. Jessica might pull the pistol out, but shooting the gator wouldn't be a good idea with something that small.
Jeffrey Sutyla
2023-09-26 10:32:51 +0000 UTC