Porcelain (Alpha Draft, Surprise One-Shot)
Added 2023-08-20 04:48:32 +0000 UTCThis is a One-Shot story. I've been pecking
Comments
Unfortunately Don Alejo is right about people wanting an expansion of the party and Charlie scenes. You start a 5-girl orgy scene and just skip it?!? Great writing as always though!
darkprotoss7
2023-08-24 13:27:27 +0000 UTCThe biggest problem I see with this story is that people will be wanting a sequel and/or an expansion of the wedding day and parties. And then you'll probably do it and have to spin more plates. I was expecting a more close ended story as a one shot. But, maybe this is and your writing just lends itself to readers wanting more.
Don Alejo
2023-08-24 03:37:16 +0000 UTCGreat work as always. Could do with a little more breeding, but thats my kink not necessarily the kink for this particular story.
Rabbid Pencil
2023-08-21 20:47:51 +0000 UTCExcellent. Other than typos, I wouldn't change a thing.
Ronan
2023-08-20 15:34:51 +0000 UTCMan that was a Rollercoaster. Excellent one shot some of the dialogue felt rough but that's to be expected of an alpha draft. My only real complaint is it ended too soon.
SovietDegendays
2023-08-20 10:02:26 +0000 UTCGreat story so far. There is "I’dm" instead of "I'd" and shortly after "boys her own again" I assume instead of "boys her own age". Maybe halfway "just wearing a thing" instead of "thong"? Just finished and the story was great. Would definitely like more details of the implied group scenes but it is still good with just the implication.
Zaralith
2023-08-20 07:36:03 +0000 UTCThat was awesome! At its core, it's the story of a woman who knows exactly what she wants and overcomes all obstacles to get it. My favorite theme.
patient1
2023-08-20 06:37:33 +0000 UTC
