AMA: The Boyfriend: Chapter 160-174 (Double Release!)
Added 2023-04-01 06:11:32 +0000 UTCChapter 160
Meanwhil
Comments
I prefer
jon4fun
2023-10-20 17:22:27 +0000 UTCI figured as much. It sticks out to me personally because I can't read 2nd person narratives. Throws me out of the story so quickly if it isn't 1st or 3rd. I'd be happy to send you snippets from where I see it happening if there is an easy way to communicate outside here.
Blake Lewis
2023-04-10 00:34:47 +0000 UTCIt's, quite frankly, because of writing OFG. I never had this problem before, and for all the editing and document searching I do I seem to miss things. I need to figure out a new method that won't bog down the whole process but will be more effective.
BreaktheBar
2023-04-10 00:32:22 +0000 UTCThis isn't necessarily just a comment on this chapter, but something I've noticed on a few different releases (including a couple Quaranteam chapters). You have moments where you slip from 1st person narration to a 2nd person narration. It usually isn't for more than 3 or 4 paragraphs, but the section in this set of chapters was really awkward because you flipped back and forth a few times in the scene.
Blake Lewis
2023-04-10 00:22:07 +0000 UTCHaha either one works, but I've got an Aunt Catherine that is... not my favorite Aunt so my vote (if I had one) would be for Catelyn
Kilometers
2023-04-05 19:24:54 +0000 UTCI figured it out! My original character outlines had her name as Catherine, not Catelyn, so I was wrong the first time. I'll figure out which to go with.
BreaktheBar
2023-04-05 07:11:07 +0000 UTCOh, balls. I think I got Katherine from OFG stuck in my head. I'll definitely go back and change this. Nice catch!
BreaktheBar
2023-04-03 23:22:17 +0000 UTCGreat update! One little continuity item, in ch. 84 Robbie calls Cattie by her full name Catelyn, and in this update in ch. 161 and ch. 170 he calls her by her full name, but says Catherine rather than Catelyn.
Kilometers
2023-04-03 23:20:54 +0000 UTCI think you saying he leaned on the "hut tub" is my favorite typo ever 😂
Zachariah Beasley
2023-04-03 20:33:12 +0000 UTCPretty much what Jason said above. I know it will probably lead to more introspection and growth on Robbie's part, and the potential tie in to other App users is very interesting, but personally for me it felt more non-consent than I'm used to. The rest of this release was A-freaking-mazing in my book though. Character development all around, hot interactions, just the full BtB experience.
Daukash
2023-04-01 21:11:54 +0000 UTCfuck I love the casual sexual contact, that got me going. fuuuuuuuuk
Mask
2023-04-01 15:23:46 +0000 UTCI love the AMA releases, and I stayed up WAY too late last night reading it. My general thoughts: Agreed with Hatter above that the cop thing felt a bit out of left field (the female cop part). Definitely steps on some serious consent issues, and potentially shows just how far the AMA can alter behavior. I have to believe this will be revisited (as confirmed by BTB above) Glad that the "skeevy cop" thing was resolved. It does, however, make me nervous that there's now another AMA that has at least come into contact w/ the female cop. *Loved* The scene with Robbie playing / owning Wanda in the small group. Loved that Wanda and Robbie are talking re: her sadness / relationship issues with Brody. It makes a lot of sense, and gives a path for Wanda & Robbie to have a longer term relationship w/o it just being Wanda dumping Brody because Robbie's so awesome. It's more about Brody fundamentally being / wanting something that Wanda doesn't, and never communicated about. The path for Terra to get the full Robbie experience vis a vis JC's screw up felt a little off. I know things were weird and everything, but in some ways it would've been nice to have Robbie remind JC about Terra before JC got ridden by the cop, and have JC just brush it off with something like "We've got an agreement" without JC really thinking about the details of the agreement. A lot of the rest could resolve the same way, but it would make Robbie a bit more sympathetic in the situation. I also loved the fact that Robbie is communicating with some of the girls about his love, about how it's not infringing / a problem (mostly) with Cassidy. Communication is key. On the down side, you have some second person slip in in the middle of the chapter blocks (Damn switching back and forth between AMA & OFG!). It's not horrible, but it's there.
Shadracht
2023-04-01 14:58:10 +0000 UTCI think Robbie needs it too
Jason Hatter
2023-04-01 13:43:36 +0000 UTCThis was an unbelievably great chapter and seemed to just keep going too which was good lol. I really hope Robbie and Cassidy have great make up sex asap they need it well mostly Cassidy needs it.
Jim lynch
2023-04-01 13:39:35 +0000 UTCI figure there will be more to come emotionally with it. I trust your ability to write this, but I also know that feedback is important to you. Again, thanks for the chapters!
Jason Hatter
2023-04-01 07:42:13 +0000 UTCNot to give any spoilers, but remember that part of this story is dealing with the emotions behind some of the more Porny elements of the standard AMA/Mind Control genre. Consider that when he gets a chance to sit and think about it, Robbie's feelings about the Cop incident might be a lot more complex than his initial reaction of 'Ick, that's weird'. Glad you enjoyed it overall! There was a lot of fun moments to explore when I was pumping these chapters out.
BreaktheBar
2023-04-01 07:38:12 +0000 UTCOk. I was getting impatient, because THIS is the story of yours that roped me in and grabbed my feels, and the delay was really getting to me, but this, this was an amazing update. The emotional intimacy with Cattie, Becca, and Terra; the date with Ami; and hell yeah playing with Wanda in "public" - all bangers. The revelations about Wanda and Brody were welcome, as well, clarifying how that is working out was nice, and a big THANK YOU you Wanda for pointing out the Cassidy issue. Yes, it's only been four days since he found out, but he's been accepting everything that Cassie has done to benefit him, but has not been as forward in dealing with their relationship. Given how we know she feels about herself, he needs to address it for sure. Unfortunately, the whole cop sequence was a big record scratch for me. Not just the potential violence against our protagonists, but the rape sex with the woman cop. I get that it's a way for JC to fuck up and clear space for Terra to get to fully experience Robbie, but the whole sequence really doesn't sit well with me, nor does it feel like it fits with the rest of the series so far, with Robbie being very much a consent based guy. It may (probably does, given the nature of the app) fit in the overall AMA genre, but I haven't read any of them. I also didn't like Robbie not pushing JC to realize he's been ignoring Terra, but it's not a new development, but I think long term Robbie will regret it. Overall, a super long, super amazing release. Thank you.
Jason Hatter
2023-04-01 07:00:20 +0000 UTC
