Hazel - Sneak Peek

“Billows! I can’t find him. I can’t–”

I snatched Hazel into my arms, hauling her away from the rubble upon the ground. It was still smoldering and her hands were blistered with the efforts to dig through the wreckage. Tears tracked through the soot on her face, but her eyes held that green black tinge that said her power was at hand. Around us, the wind whipped, stoking the flames even further, but Hazel didn’t seem to care. Her one and only companion was lost to her.

“Hazel,” I tried, yelling at her over the noise. “Hazel, he’s not there. I promise, he is not there.” While I didn’t know where Billows was, it was doubtful he was within the destroyed shed. I hadn’t seen the cat around for some time. It was far more concerning to me that Hazel only now was noticing his absence.

“Let me go!” She was struggling in my arms, kicking her feet up to try and fling her body forward. I created a band around her middle, holding her as tight as I could.

“You are hurting yourself,” I tried to reason. “I’m not going to sit by and let you do that. Billows is not in there. I swear on my life that he is not in there.”

Hazel began to scream. An inhuman sound erupted from her like an inky shadow that settled over the cottage and the surrounding land. If the animals had moved back in, they would have quickly scattered. As it was, the trees were bending and even the flower looked as if they cowered in the face of her rage.

But enough was enough. I was not going to let Hazel become lost to this. She had been lost for far too long and I could not sit back and continue to let her drown. Turning her in my arms, I held her tightly by the shoulders, shaking her a little to gain her attention.

“Stop,” I told her firmly. “You are so concerned about Billows, but you are killing everything that he loves. Everything that you love. I know you are angry. I know you are scared. But we will talk about that. We cannot keep this up, Hazel. There will be nothing left.”

The tears tracked down her face, but she was looking at me now. Really looking at me.

“I can’t lose him,” she told me.

“And you haven’t. He is not here. And if you stop whatever it is you are doing, I will help you find him, okay? I will turn over every cobblestone within the streets. I will look in every building. I will rearrange the walls. Just stop destroying your home.”

Something clicked in her then. I could feel the power douse out of her like water over a flame as she deflated into my arms. Even her hair went limp around her anguish riddled face while her eyes half shut.

Gathering her in my arms, I slumped to the ground. The blackness that was surrounding us began to dissipate, the trees hesitantly standing back upright. Up above, the night sky was uncovering, the stars peeking out to make sure they were welcome once more. The only thing left of the destruction, was the embers of the burning shed. A shed that was nothing more than a pile of planks now and a few old bags of last year's harvest.

I pulled Hazel against my chest, holding her close. “It’s going to be okay.” Part of me felt like I was lying. I didn’t know the answer. I could barely control my own life, let alone guarantee hers would be fine. In that same vein, I knew I would protect her above me. That I would do anything to put happiness back in her day. To see her smile. My heart ached each time that vacancy began to take over.

“Where is he?” she gasped against me. I didn’t know if she remembered me at this moment. Or if I was simply the comfort that she could rely on. It didn’t matter. This wasn’t about me.

“Billows is smart,” I told her. “I– I think he ran off a while ago.” She began to squirm again and I held her tight. “Not because of you,” I quickly assured. “You didn’t do anything to drive him away. I think– I think he’s looking for something for you. To help you.” If there was one thing I had learned about that cat, it was that he would kill for Hazel. I was almost positive that he had. When Lucinda came back into her life, the very woman who used to torture him, I don’t think he stayed around for long. I just wish he had come back by now. 

“I thought I saw him in the rubble,” she sniffed, staring at the fire with the certainty that she was going to see a tuft of fur sticking out from beneath a burning board. “He hides in there at times. When mother is home.”

I had to approach this with care. Hazel’s mind was still such a fragile state. “When’s the last time you saw him? Before all this, I mean.”

Her eyes remained unblinking as she looked towards the wreckage. Maybe she was trying to find the answer to my question. Or maybe her mind was carefully blanking out once again. When her lips parted, it was with a small expulsion of breath and a confusion that she didn’t quite grasp. “I don’t remember.”

I used it to my advantage. “I don’t think he was hiding out in there, Hazel. Even when he did that in the past, you would see him. You would visit him. He would have wandered out for food by now.”

“I haven’t gone in the shed in months,” she whispered.

“And if he was waiting for you, he would have come and found you,” I told her gently. “Billows was never one to leave you alone for long. Not unless there was something important he had to go do.” There was little doubt in my mind that Billows had been gone for some time. I just needed Hazel to see it now. Or accept it as a possibility.

“He’s my best friend,” she said simply, her cheek pressed against my heart. “What will I do without him?”

I didn’t have an answer to that. Not one that would satisfy her, anyway. So I didn’t say a word. Instead, I shifted, maneuvering us into a more comfortable position on the ground. The grass was cold and damp beneath us, soaking through our clothes. But the heat of the fire before us was enough to keep us warm.

Neither of us talked as the shed continued to burn. Hazel was limp against me. The night was proceeding cautiously. And there was no cat to be found. But, after some time, when the flames became orange and the embers began to die, Hazel moved her hand, placing it over my own. It wasn’t a start. By no means did it mean anything was okay.

But for a single moment, it felt like the world was whole again.