Post Chapter Five - Gabriel

The longevity of a single speck of dust was a span of time that superseded most elements.  Tell anyone this, and they would most likely disagree. But life within the embrace of the Knowing was different. It defied the logic of the lesser beings and created a series of rules that broke through the constriction of time.  It allowed for a single breath to be limitless. For the span of joy to be so all consuming that the world and its intricacies became lost.

Gabriel missed that.

When he had fallen, life looked dull. It hurt. Each breath was a stab through the chest.  Every time he opened his eyes he was reminded of falling. This world and everything around it was outside the Knowing’s embrace because it chose to be. They could have been living in eternal benediction and yet they chose to wallow within the filth. Within the muck. It had made Gabriel so unbelievably angry upon seeing it because he didn’t have a choice. He could never go back.  

Or so he had thought.

It had come to his attention that he was viewing it all wrong. That he did not have to succumb to the finality of falling from the embrace. The Knowing would always have open arms for him. He just had to prove that he was worthy of it. Just like everyone else, if he chose, as long as he chose to live within the Knowings demands, he could return.  So many years had been spent not understanding this very simple rule. It had taken death for him to know that life was not as such.

“Son.”

His eyes were sticky.  Lashes crusted together as he opened them. The room was split in two. On one side was the dark blues and aged seaspat wood of his old home with Reese. Back when he had stayed at the cottage during his younger years. And on the other half, was a bright white and sterile room with large windows and wafting curtains. Elias sat within the sun, his skin glittering and dusted with the cosmic energies of home. On the other side, Reese had spun a chair around, stradling it as he called out to Gabriel.

“You are both here,” Gabriel whispered.

Neither answered. Though he supposed it wasn’t a question.

“How are you feeling?” Elias asked. 

“I am tired.” It hurt to swallow for some reason. There was a pain just below his sternum. Several more throughout the rest of his body. He couldn’t identify the reasons.

“You cut quite a swath through the market,” Reese was saying. “You’re probably more than tired.”

“I needed to purge.” Why was it that no one seemed to understand this? Purging was what they did. Get rid of the unclean.  Rolling his head to Elias, he sighed. “You understand this, don’t you? Everything here is disgusting. It does not belong.”

Elias looked at him sadly. “I understand,” he said. “I do. I just wish you didn’t.”

“Gabriel, you need to knock this shit off. Don’t go down that path, boy. It’s what hurt Elias and it’s going to hurt you. Madness lies within that destruction.”

Gabriel didn’t really think Reese should be speaking of such things with Elias right there but they always had been an enigma.  Sighing, he leaned his head back on the pillow.  “It’s my way home.  If I show the Knowing how I am committed to making the world in their image, they will embrace me again.”

“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it.”

“Oh, Gabriel.”

Gabriel felt himself smile. There was such a familiarity to the way their words overlapped with each other. He found it comforting. So many nights had been spent listening to them. They liked to play cards at the kitchen table. Reese would get frustrated with how Elias would play and Elias would soothe him out of his misery. To get there, however, there was always a lot of talking over the other one.

“It’ll be alright,” Gabriel murmured. “I know it will. Once this world is purged, I will swim out into the ocean and let the Knowing take me.”

“The Deep will get you much sooner, boy. The Knowing doesn’t give two shits about you. You swim out there, and you’re going to die. This time for good.”

Elias’s sigh accompanied Reese’s words. Surely he didn’t agree with him. “Gabriel, I have been looking for a way back into the Knowing’s arms for years. It is a fool's game,” he confessed. “With everything I have done, I have never come close. I have been teaching the Knowing’s ways for years. If anyone was going to be re-embraced, it would have been me.”

Gabriel frowned. “No. You butcher people. You do not understand.”

Reese rubbed a hand across his face. “I don’t need to understand to see that you’re being affected by the madness.’

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Gabriel snapped.

Reese just stared at him for a prolonged moment, but didn’t seem all that surprised. “Right.”

Gabriel looked back towards Elias. “You have augmented people. You have tried to make them into the image of the Knowing. But you can never mend a person's soul. You can never scrub them clean. I am simply ridding everyone of those people. I am banishing them forever.”

“I know,” Elias sighed. “I just never did have a penchant for killing.”

“You are a good man,” Gabriel said, trying to reach out and pat his hand. He couldn’t touch him.  “You are a good, good man.”

From the other side, Reese rose. He stepped towards the bed, placing a heavy hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Get some more sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

“Will you both be going to play games?” Gabriel yawned.

Both fathers looked at him sadly. No doubt also remembering a time when their lives had been so much more rich with love and family.

“Get some rest,” Reese said, a shadowed look over his face.  Meanwhile, Elias just stared at him.  “I’ll stay until you fall asleep first.”

The cosmic dust continued to swirl in Gabriel’s mind. And one day, he would be home to see it first hand.