Sometimes I want to give up.
Added 2024-07-17 22:08:45 +0000 UTCI have had a shitty day. Stress, and a drop in blood pressure.
I’m feeling a bit shitty as well when it comes to the appreciation I seem to get publicly, I do put a lot of effort in everything I do but sometimes it feels like it is not enough. It doesn’t shine in the public eye.
I know that likes and retweets aren’t a measure of the value of artistic expression. Yet, I feel like as of late, anything I do goes to the void.
My telegram channel and this Patreon have been teaching me that there are other places to feel the love for the things I do, yet, I feel like it’s been harsh.
Also, there’s the feeling that even if I get praised personally, that doesn’t translate in support publicly. This can be just a perception.
I feel a bit too alone when it comes to having the support from bigger figures in the fandom, it’s not like I’m seeking their approval but working by yourself takes me so far. Idk, I feel alone in that sense.
Then there’s the phantom pain from my family who always got me up to high standards when they were not even following such standards. I feel like I’ll never be enough.
I feel a bit burnout and done. Left aside.
I’ll get up tomorrow to keep fighting. I wanted to get this out of my system.
