Coming Clean Cabout Commissions
Added 2023-02-25 18:32:53 +0000 UTCI like to be awkwardly blunt about my mental health and other such things and I feel my commission queue has reached a point where I need to be "ugly honest".
I've had a lot of anxiety around commissions for a while now because I haven't been able to figure out how to manage demand and also make people feel like they're not just being left in the dust in regards to being able to get a slot.
This led to me opening slots every month and taking way too many to try to keep up but once I started working more on comics it's become impossible to keep up with my commissions at the rate I was at before.
I realized I was falling horrifically behind which is why I stopped opening slots a few months ago, but I continue to stagnate in moving through my queue because the anxiety about the whole thing continues to build up and is making me avoidant of ever even doing any of them. It's the absolute DUMBEST feedback cycle of "omg I'm disappointing people I can't even look at anything cos it reminds me of how much I'm disappointing them" which obviously just ACTUALLY disappoints people who are having to wait forever.
In all honesty, I'm not certain what the solution is. I feel I'd do best if I just cancelled everything and started from scratch, only taking one commission at a time, but I adamantly don't want to cancel the slots I have given that people have already been waiting for for so long.
So I'm hoping that being super candid at least helps with the anxiety aspect by just laying out what's happening, why it's taking a while and completely understanding if people aren't okay with that and don't want to wait.
Otherwise, I'll take a while and I just want you to understand why.
I'm thinking of swapping out the $5 tier from primarily commissions to mini nsfw comics for my long form comics. The $5+ tier will still get commission priority when I do open them, it just won't be frequent. π
Either way, you guys continue to be so wonderful and fantastic for supporting me, I'd never be able to do what I do without you and that's why I want to do as right by you as my dumbass brain will let me. π₯Ίπππππ
Comments
Thank you for being open about this, I sent you a message or two about my comm and I was wondering how things were, so it's good to hear about it! I really hope you feel better and things slow down, and you're able to get a hang of things. I hope mine wasn't adding too much stress.
Menkhu
2023-02-28 03:24:03 +0000 UTCEither way, just wanted to say that to validate your experience and say you're not alone. My advisor who is in disability justice and mad crip queer theory circles always manages to find a way to show me kindness and space and time and try to subvert that capitalist ableist notion that we have to always be hustling and working at 100 percent capacity. It's not realistic for anyone. I'd definitely recommend looking into some stuff around radical crip justice/crip time (crip being a reclamation of the "cripple" slur, and mad referring to madness/insanity derogatory terms). There's also a brand new book in the field by Tricia heresy called Rest is Resistance!!!
Velhari
2023-02-27 04:34:28 +0000 UTCThe way you've described this is literally the exact same thing I've been facing with my college schoolwork. The fucking feedback cycle. How is it that this is a shared experience?? What kind of fucked up brain limbo curse were we given???? Like I know the ADHD, depression, anxiety diagnosis cocktail might have something to do with it but jeez!!!
Velhari
2023-02-27 04:31:12 +0000 UTC
