Turmoil???
Added 2025-02-06 15:00:06 +0000 UTCI think there’s an assumption that I have to be dastardly and completely cut open in order to write the way that I do—a kind of incomprehensible unhappiness perhaps. But the truth of the matter is I simply enjoy the way complex ideas and struggles sound. I enjoy the workings of inner human suffering that grows from thought, it brings me happiness to contemplate things critically and to challenge myself with emotions that have other wise been given ill repute. I endure not only these feelings and thoughts of meaning and reason, attempts to grapple the blackened essence of humanity, but give myself over to them, instead of fight. I let them pull and yank at me, I allow them to violate my thoughts and peace, they are welcome to me, as challengers. Things to be slain and then studied—so really this is a plight, to welcome people over into the analysis of the inner turmoil, to embrace what we fight desperately against—an idea that there remains a beauty in the parts that are hidden for fear of deformity. There is a happiness in this way of thinking, a deep satisfaction that control exists on the other side, and inside the self—I find it in the bowels of my soul. It has freed me.
