Lil Dee

Boring

Added 2024-10-28 14:00:08 +0000 UTC

I think routine is often misunderstood— most of my life is pretty routine.

I work, I workout, I eat, I watch shows, I read, I sleep. And in between all these tasks, I think and look forward to hanging out with people I love or traveling to different places in the world, or coming up with some new concepts to shoot, draw—

I used to think all this made me mundane, boring. Because I never had the energy to be something other than what I was, that fake until you make it, so to speak. But mentally, I always fought hard against slowness, instead of surrendering to the beauty of consistency and in that, safety.

Being now in a transitional period of my life, I recognize now, it’s something I took for granted, and now in the midst of chaos that comes with change, I am missing my slower days.

All this to say, that I do not lead a more exciting life than anyone else, in fact I am quite normal and privileged in that way, to have a calm existence for most of my life. And I am trying to come to terms with that when I feel the discomfort of my mind telling me I should be more and doing more all the time in order to be worthy or extraordinary.

The balance of having things to look forward to, and the discipline of accepting what is, and that what is, is often necessary in order to go forward, to produce change— despite it’s slow seasons and sharp unexpected turns, the unpredictable flow of life.

It’s all green, and it’s all worthy.