[NSFW] Catch and Release

It hadn’t taken Andreas long to realize that for all his smooth seduction and uncompromising approach to life, Elliot Graham was a provocative mix of precariously balanced contradictions. He was brilliant and independent to a fault, but couldn’t process simple conversation before at least two cups of coffee. He was committed to non-commitment and yet had a lover scheduled for almost every day of the week. He claimed Sundays were his alone time, and yet fit, beautiful, rainbow-haired young men could be found gracing his shower before the earliest church bells tolled. For almost every boundary Elliot had there was an exception.

In truth, Andreas could see the general picture. Their sexual chemistry was unlike anything he’d ever known, and for all Elliot’s experience, Andreas flattered himself to think that perhaps he was a bit more challenging than Elliot’s usual choice in lovers. And because of that, Andreas suspected that Elliot started to panic whenever the unspoken feelings between them made him feel vulnerable. Yet he seemed unable to cut ties with the very thing that scared him, opting instead to sidle up and thrill himself with the danger. Andreas decided not to let Elliot know that he knew he was Elliot’s drug of choice as long as Elliot was putting up such a convincing-but-not-really performance.

Simple, really.

Andreas had learned his routine. Elliot’s usual recourse was to distract him with impudent flirting, often leading to sudden, raunchy sex (which Andreas didn’t mind in the slightest), but for someone who could see what made others tick so clearly, Elliot had an almost matching talent for self-deception. And that part Andreas did mind somewhat, because Elliot lived his life so fearlessly in all other ways, but held the greatest trepidation for something he so obviously wanted and that all people needed: genuine connection.

Of course, there were also times when Elliot was so perturbed by his own feelings that his anxiety manifested in less pleasant ways, as it was with their current situation. Apparently, Elliot had had a tedious week at work, inclement weather had thrown off his running schedule with Haruto, he’d come home to find Gatsby had vomited in his favorite pair of shoes, and the restaurant he’d selected for their date this evening had lost their reservation with a two-hour wait. Not at all bothered by this turn of events, Andreas had offered to make them dinner back at his place. Elliot had agreed, but his mood had darkened to a troubled sulk. Andreas would never say that pouting looked attractive on a grown man in his mid-30s, but even at his least attractive Elliot was maddeningly endearing.

Andreas shook his head at himself as they drove home. He had it bad.

Elliot remained distracted and on edge throughout their meal of bruschetta and crispy stuffed mushrooms, had just one glass of wine, and only seemed to cheer up when Andreas allowed him to feed Moira some small table scraps of bread crust. Andreas wondered if perhaps they were going to finally break their months-long streak and end the night early, but they retreated to the bedroom as usual after dinner.

Elliot only got as far as removing his socks before he planted himself at the end of the bed, one knee bouncing restlessly as he seemed to lose himself in his thoughts. Andreas sat next to him and rubbed a gentle hand over his shoulders.

“Do you want me to help you relax?”

Elliot arched an eyebrow at him. “I know that tone of voice. That’s code for ‘do you want me to take you apart six ways from Sunday and leave you a pathetic mess?’” He huffed. “I think I’ve been enough of a mess this week.”

“I promise I wasn’t offering to do anything but help you relax in whatever way you’d like,” Andreas reassured him.

Elliot drummed his fingers on the bed. “What if I don’t want to relax?”

Andreas smirked. “Then I’m happy to help you with that, too.”

“So you don’t mind if I run the show tonight?” Elliot asked, watching him carefully.

“I never do.”

Andreas thought it an odd question, given that in his mind they seemed to take the lead equally in the bedroom. Perhaps some of Elliot’s mood tonight resulted from a perceived power imbalance between them. Andreas didn’t know how he could more clearly convey just how much sway Elliot held over him, but he was perfectly willing to try. Elliot was being prickly the way he got when he was feeling vulnerable and resenting it, but Andreas found it telling that Elliot immediately equated relaxing with Andreas taking him apart and taking him out of himself. He’d have to walk a careful line here, but Andreas was fairly certain he could meet both Elliot’s stated wants and his unspoken needs. At least for tonight.

Andreas came to a decision then, and leaned in to catch Elliot’s mouth in a gentle kiss, gladdened and relieved by the way Elliot opened to him immediately. “Would you like to tie me up?” he asked, keeping his tone casual.

“What.” Elliot blinked and stared. “You mean it?”

Andreas’ smile widened. “I am at your mercy.”

Elliot smirked when Andreas showed him the new set of under-bed restraints hidden at the edges of his mattress. He shucked his shirt and pants without ceremony, his mood already visibly improved, and crawled up the bed. He lifted up one of the cuffs and waved it in Andreas’ direction. “So, when exactly were you planning on breaking these in?”

Andreas shrugged as he unbuttoned his own shirt and slipped his belt through the loops, coiling it on his dresser. “Whenever the occasion called for it. This seemed like the perfect occasion,” he said. He unzipped his pants and paused. “Am I leaving anything on?”

Elliot gave him a look and then blithely wiggled out of his boxer-briefs. “I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”

Andreas chuckled, and stripped himself naked. They cleared the pillows and he laid back on the bed so Elliot could arrange his arms on either side of his head, securing them in place with the cuffs. Andreas acknowledged that he would miss being able to touch and explore Elliot’s body, but he was just as eager to see what Elliot might desire of him when he couldn’t take the situation in hand, so-to-speak.

Elliot tested the give of the cuffs. “Not too tight?”

“Not at all. There are ankle cuffs, too, if you want.”

Elliot straddled his hips, gazing down, slowly running hands over Andreas’ raised biceps, around his armpits and pectorals, and down the center line of his chest. His eyes were intense and he either didn’t care about restraining Andreas’ legs or he hadn’t heard him. “How can you be so—” Elliot started, and then shook his head. He rubbed his thumbs over Andreas’ nipples until they peaked, but didn’t finish his thought.

Andreas felt the blood begin pulsing in his cock. He smiled up at Elliot softly. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Elliot paused  and considered. “I haven’t decided yet. I’ll let you know.”

“Please do.”

Elliot seemed to have no particular plan in mind, seemed to be content to explore Andreas’ body in a way they had rarely ever taken time for. His earlier sulkiness was gone, forgotten as he traced over the lines of muscle in Andreas’ arms, the tendons of his neck, his Adam’s apple and collarbones. Elliot leaned down and followed the path his hands had taken with his tongue, and when he licked a long line up the center of Andreas’ armpit Andreas tensed and pulled at his bonds. Elliot pressed Andreas’ hands back against the mattress with his own and sucked a red mark onto Andreas’ inner bicep where the skin was thin and delicate. Andreas tried to relax under Elliot’s minustrations, but he was also taking notes to pay Elliot back tenfold. Elliot grinned at Andreas’ helplessness and lavished particular attention on Andreas’ nipples, suckling and biting in a way that he probably intended to be mean but that only served to make Andreas’ cock throb harder.

Elliot nipped a line down Andreas’ abdomen and bypassed his swollen prick, choosing instead to run his tongue lightly over Andreas’ balls. Andreas’ moaned, unable to keep from raising his hips, recalling the first time Elliot did this on their very first date with Andreas spread over his dining table. Elliot took one of his balls in his mouth and rolled it with his tongue, sucking gently but persistently until Andreas felt his toes curl and realized he was straining his wrists at the cuffs again.

Andreas arched and spread his legs wider, giving Elliot more room to work, aroused by the fragile, mindful way Elliot always attended to his pleasure in this act. He listened to Elliot’s little breathy moans; he genuinely liked worshiping Andreas’ balls with his lips and tongue until Andreas invariably pulled him back by his hair and fed his cock into Elliot’s beautifully open spit-slick mouth. But he couldn’t this time. Andreas opened his eyes, wanting to say something encouraging and express his gratification, but Elliot was already watching him and Andreas’ breath caught.

Whatever Elliot saw on Andreas’ face had him surging up the bed to take Andreas’ face in his hands and crush their mouths together. They spent long moments kissing, unhurried, tongues moving languidly together, cocks sliding against each other with pleasant, glancing friction. Andreas could feel the tension winding through Elliot again as he ground down harder against his body. This was Elliot’s show to run, but something in his demeanor had changed and Andreas couldn’t ignore the frustrated desire in his mien.

He broke the kiss and nuzzled Elliot’s cheek. “What can I do?” he whispered. “What do you need?”

Elliot froze and hung his head, hiding his face from Andreas’ searching look. His hands clenched in the sheets by Andreas’ head and then without warning he was pulling quickly at the buckles of Andreas' nylon cuffs, releasing his wrists.

Andreas felt compelled to reach for him but held back. “Elliot,” he said. “What do you n—”

Elliot cut him off with a forceful kiss, and then pulled back, his blue eyes full of want. “Do it,” he said, and then swallowed. “Take me apart.”

Heat flared throughout Andreas’ body. He sat up, and pulled Elliot close, one hand threading deep into his thick, unruly hair. “Okay,” he said, kissing Elliot’s temple. “Okay. But on one condition.”

Elliot tensed. “Yes?”

“If you want something, you have to say it out loud. If you want more or you want to stop, you have to say the words.”

“What if I just want you to use me so I don’t have to think about what I want?”

Ah. There it was. Andreas tilted Elliot’s chin up and met his eyes. “Then you’ll say that.”

Elliot’s eyes shut as the fight went out of him. “...Okay,” he said, swallowing. “Then I want you to tie me down. And I want you to fuck me til I can’t think.”

Andreas kissed him again, a picture already forming in his mind. The bed restraints wouldn’t do for this. “I have just the thing,” he said.

~+~+~+~

The harness was soft black leather, with straps that wound around each shoulder and behind the neck, connecting to a thicker central strap that ran down the spine. At the end of the strap were two sturdy cuffs designed to hold the wearer’s hands in place behind his back. Andreas fitted it around Elliot’s frame, and with the adjustment of each buckle and strap the restless energy in Elliot seemed to calm once more. The final piece was the collar, heavy and thick and unforgettable when worn. Andreas did not miss the goosebumps and the way Elliot shivered once the collar was buckled in place. True to his contradictions an uncommitted man like Elliot seemed the most aroused by physical symbols of ownership.

Andreas threaded his finger through the O-ring on the front of the collar and gave it a little tug when he brought his lips close to Elliot’s ear. “So beautiful. Now you’re dressed to be fucked.”

Elliot shivered. “P-please…?”

Andreas helped him kneel face down on the bed, ass up and hips canted invitingly. Elliot’s eyes were narrowed to mere slits, his mind already drifting in anticipation of easy pleasure.

Andreas paused. That wasn’t quite what he wanted here and he didn’t think it was what Elliot had been truly asking for. He wanted Elliot in the moment with him, fully aware of his own desires so he could voice them aloud as they’d agreed. He began unbuckling one of the cuffs.

That brought Elliot back into the present. “What…?”

Andreas released Elliot’s left hand, his non-dominant one, giving him the freedom to have some bodily agency in the proceedings but not enough to easily wrest back control. It was an escape route that Elliot hadn’t asked for, and Andreas wanted to see what he would do with it. In reply, however, Andreas reached for a condom and the lube and squeezed a line over Elliot’s fingers. “Prep yourself for me. Slowly.”

“Pervert.” The grin in Elliot’s voice was audible but he reached up between his legs and began fingering his asshole. With his balance thrown forward onto his shoulders and the use of his left hand making him clumsy, Elliot’s preparation lacked its usual efficiency. He wriggled futilely in the harness, and managed to smear an excess of lube over his balls, but Andreas watched his minute struggles with a mixture of fondness and lust.

After only two fingers and a modicum of stretching, Elliot grew impatient with his own unsatisfactory attempts at stimulation. “It’s enough,” he said, grinding his face against the mattress. “I want your cock.”

“As you wish,” Andreas said, and gripped the harness firmly where the shoulder straps connected just above Elliot’s bound hand. He stroked down the flesh of Elliot’s side, admiring the picture he made with his ass up and legs spread. Sweat made Elliot’s skin glisten in the low light of the bedroom, the muscles of his back shifting with each breath. Andreas nudged Elliot’s thighs open wider with one knee until Elliot had to shift his weight fully forward so Andreas could see the way his slick hole winked in anticipation.

Andreas pushed his cock in, letting them both feel every inch of the slide.

The room was quiet except for the occasional grunt and the sticky thwuck thwuck thwuck of Andreas pumping his cock into the sweet grip of Elliot’s body. Andreas felt a smirk twist his mouth. Such an obscene, unambiguous sound, underscored by Elliot's muffled sighs and whimpers. He kept his pace steady as a metronome, ignoring the urges of his own body to speed up and rush to the finish until he was told to do otherwise.

Andreas was so focused on maintaining his self-control he nearly missed Elliot’s whispered words: “F-faster,” he said. “Harder.”

Andreas put a hand on either side of Elliot’s pliant body, covering him as he pushed his cock in and in. Hips pistoning hard, he focused on the erotic sensation of Elliot’s sloppy hole squeezing his penis and on the illicit pleasure of fucking. He restrained the words that he longed to say aloud: how deeply he wanted to fill Elliot with love, with a sense of peace, with the reassurance that Andreas didn’t want him to be anyone but who he already was. But he couldn’t give Elliot those things until Elliot was ready to receive them.

For now, it was almost as satisfying that Elliot was so readily taking his cock.

Below him, Elliot’s voice rose, unsteady. “T-touch my dick. Please. Jerk me off.”

The hand that Andreas had left unbound remained free, but Elliot seemed disinclined to use it, asking instead for Andreas to touch him. The demand in Elliot’s request was softened by the pleading waver of his voice. Warmth unfurled in Andreas’ chest.

Adjusting his position, he reached under and got his hand on Elliot’s erection, fascinated once again by the smooth slide of his foreskin over the shaft. Elliot moaned. The slickness on Andreas’ hand told him Elliot was already leaking a steady stream of precum the way he did when he was close.

Andreas’ cock throbbed in anticipation. Making his decision, he stilled his hips and pressed deep into Elliot’s ass. He sped up the tight strokes of his fist, focusing on the head of Elliot’s cock as Elliot’s thighs began to tremble against him. With a high gasp, Elliot came, ejaculating thick ropes of cum through Andreas’ fingers and over his own wrist where his arm was pressed into the bed.

“You, too…” Elliot slurred into the sheets. He cracked an eye open and looked back over his shoulder, doing his best to move his hips and clenching his hole weakly around Andreas’ aching cock. “You come, too.”

As though Elliot had uttered some magical sex incantation, Andreas suddenly found his climax thundering up inside. The cascading ecstasy of his own orgasm broke over him, and he withdrew from the sweet grip of Elliot’s body to whip off the condom and pump his cock fast and hard as he came. Andreas groaned as the first hot spurt went wide of the mark, landing a pale stripe high over Elliot’s bound wrist, and then aimed the tip of his cock at Elliot’s lower back and the cleft of his ass, slicking Elliot’s skin with semen. Below him, Elliot squirmed, thrusting his hips back and wordlessly begging, his hole gaping and glistening as trails of Andreas’ cum slowly dripped down his crack. Andreas watched, fascinated, as his cum sluiced down and around Elliot’s rim and he had the mad desire to scoop it up with his thumb and push it inside. He knew that would be a gross breach of trust between them and contented himself with watching his sperm dribble down Elliot’s balls and dick to join Elliot’s own.

“Again,” Elliot murmured into the bed, his eyes closing again. “Please. Wanna come again…” His dick swayed sticky and soft with the urgent movements of his hips and Andreas doubted Elliot had another orgasm in him so soon, but he had voiced his desires as promised and so Andreas would answer the call.

Andreas hauled him backward and spread his cheeks, running the flat of his tongue over and around Elliot’s asshole, teasing by licking up some of the mess he’d made. He sucked languidly at Elliot’s taint until Elliot was gasping and whimpering. He pushed two fingers deep past the rim, curling them downward to find Elliot’s prostate. Elliot moaned his approval and Andreas reached under him with his other hand to lightly stroke over his sticky cock and balls.

“More f-fingers…almost there…” Elliot whimpered, sounding incoherent. His cock was almost totally flaccid, but his breathing was ragged and beads of sweat stood out on his skin. Andreas could feel the way his pulse still raced.

With afterglow winding through Andreas’ veins like honey, there was nothing Elliot could ask for in this moment that Andreas would not gladly give. He added a third finger, and then reached for Elliot’s bound wrist and the central strap of the harness. With a firm grip, he maneuvered Elliot’s body in a steady back-and-forth, thrusting him onto Andreas’ fingers until Elliot picked up the rhythm himself. His free hand seemingly forgotten, Elliot squirmed and worked his hips with awkward, tight little motions. Andreas steadied his hand so Elliot could take what he needed.

“Ngh!” Elliot mewled, his body seizing and shaking as he ground back hard on Andreas’ fingers with a piteous wail. Despite his own climax having run its course, Andreas watched him with renewed hunger, eyes greedily devouring every twitch and keenly conscious of the slick, quavering heat that sucked at his fingers as the inner workings of Elliot’s body reached for another orgasm.

“That’s it,” Andreas crooned, planting encouraging kisses over Elliot’s back and hip. Milky drops of prostatic fluid were leaking from the head of Elliot’s swaying prick. “So good, baby. Just let—” me in, Andreas almost said. “Let go. Let it all go.”

With a hard cry Elliot shuddered and then released a thin stream of urine that pattered erratically into the sheets, pulsing in time with the grasping contractions of his asshole around Andreas’ fingers. The sudden surge of lust and longing that rolled through Andreas left no room in his head for shock; he thrust his fingers home, tapping at Elliot’s prostate repeatedly and without mercy, and Elliot only gasped and trembled and pissed some more until he had nothing left to give.

“I did it,” Elliot said, his eyes shut in bliss as he mumbled nonsensically into the mattress. “It felt so good… I did it…”

“Yes you did. You did so good, baby,” Andreas praised, certain now that Elliot was unaware he’d just lost control of his bladder in his release. His heart threatening to overflow with tenderness, Andreas caught Elliot before he collapsed into the larger-than-usual wet spot and spooned up behind him as they caught their breath. Elliot’s eyes remained closed as he drifted in contentment and Andreas stroked a slow and soothing hand down his body. Unable to help himself, Andreas let his hand trail over Elliot’s quiescent penis, catching a few drops of lingering wetness from the tip with his fingers. He swallowed hard. There were no words he could offer that would not shatter the perfection of this moment. There was no response from Elliot besides a small sigh.

They basked for a long while, but Andreas bundled Elliot off into a hot bath before he could wake up enough to notice the stained sheets. When Elliot was settled, Andreas left only long enough to strip the bed, thankful that the waterproof mattress cover would make cleanup simple enough. He could attend to the laundry later.

~+~+~+~

“What are you thinking about?” Andreas asked.

Fresh from the bath and wrapped in a warm robe Elliot snuggled close to Andreas in a bed of clean sheets. Elliot sighed and sunk further against Andreas’ chest, his forehead pressed against Andreas’ cheek. “I feel hollowed out, but in a good way. Like a watermelon with all the flesh scooped out, leaving only the rind.”

“Like you just had a good cry?” Andreas offered.

Elliot scoffed. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

Andreas smiled to himself. Elliot was borderline poetic after a thorough fucking, all his usual guards lowered once Andreas helped him switch off his brain. He lifted Elliot’s hand to bring it to his lips. Andreas kissed the back of his hand, and each knuckle, as if each tender kiss could convey even a fraction of what he felt in that moment.

For all his contradictions these were the moments Andreas saw the real Elliot. The Elliot who pouted when he had a bad day. The Elliot who just lost control in his bed. The Elliot who lingered in the bath so long the water had gone cold and they had to refill it. The Elliot who turned around and kissed him with the hottest lips and the deepest longing.

“What are you thinking about?” Andreas repeated.

“You bought that harness for me, didn’t you?” Elliot mused. “And the underbed restraints. You didn’t have them before.”

“I did,” Andreas kissed his temple. “Money well spent.”

“Why?”

Andreas sighed. He fought the urge to hold Elliot tighter to him. “Because I realized the only way you can truly let go is to be bound. Because you are the type of person who only desires the more you are satisfied. If I want to satisfy you past the point you can take, I can only do that if you can’t get away.” Andreas reached and brought his hand around Elliot’s neck, his thumb stroked the throbbing vein he felt there. He was thinking of the collar.  “And because you look damn good in it.”

Elliot twisted in his grip, bringing them chest to chest. Elliot’s eyes were dark and unreadable, and Andreas wondered if maybe he had been a little too honest. Maybe Elliot didn’t like having his deepest desires known, or at least stated aloud. But then Elliot was crushing Andreas’ lips with his own, and Andreas was finally pulling Elliot closer and they relaxed deeper into the pillows.

Elliot broke the kiss and nuzzled against Andreas’ cheek and ear. Andreas felt overwhelming fondness for Elliot when he tried to hide his face. Andreas was convinced that if he saw Elliot’s face in that moment he would see a fondness that matched his own. He could tell Elliot was smiling, too.

“Thank you,” Elliot said. “Can we…do that again next week?”

“Everything you want, baby,” Andreas grinned. “I live to please.”

He already had a few other restraints he had been fantasizing about using with Elliot in his online shopping cart. He made a mental note to also pick up a second waterproof mattress pad.

Just in case.