[META] Holiday Announcement

[This message has been translated as it's important you understand it]

Dear Dreamers,

In January, my step-father was diagnosed with liver cancer. After about a month's of tests and anxiety on his behalf, doctors determined the only solution would be a liver transplant, from either a living or deceased donor. The risks associated with receiving a transplant from a dead-donor are significantly higher, so doctors requested members of his family (it did not have to be genetic family) to volunteer to donate approximately 60% of their own liver.

As a young, healthy person, with a lower chance of complications than the rest of my family, I volunteered myself. I didn't tell any of you guys this because, well, firstly it's personal, and secondly... I didn't want you worrying about me.

The past month has been very stressful; The transplant process makes both of the involved people very sick; even the pre-transplant tests can cause fatigue and carry a risk of infection. Thankfully, I was able to time my renders mostly-ok so that when I went for tests, the render would carry on, but there were a few times where I simply couldn't bring myself to animate, or couldn't because of the presence of family. So, last month was a slow month, and I'm sorry. Last Sunday we were getting prepared for another hospital visit for myself, when, at 9PM, the police turned up to escort my step-father to the hospital - They had received a very healthy replacement liver from a deceased donor, and needed to operate ASAP in order for it to take. He arrived at the hospital at 11PM, was admitted by 12, and at 7AM Monday last monday, was put to sleep for the operation.

At 11AM the operation was complete. Thanks to the intelligence, skills, and dedication of an entire hospital department, my step-dad now has a new, functioning liver, without a scratch to myself.

We are not out of the woods yet - he is still in ICU, and I am due to see him tomorrow again. I hope he's fine, as he's an amazing person that life has been very hard to. I'm confident in the doctors and nurses who have charged themselves with him that he will make a sturdy recovery within the coming months.

Which brings me to why I'm telling you this now.

The past few months have been a time of incredible stress. I have worried about my step-dad. I've worried about myself. I've worried about my job, and I've worried about animating stuff for you. I've not slept, I've over-slept, I've cried and I've grit my teeth, and I've had moments where I've felt like the loneliest person in the world. Despite all this... You're all here for me. You all support me, in one way or another. Financially, mentally, socially, you guys have all been incredible.

But, at the same time... making content to please you? I won't lie, it adds to the stresses on me. I worry that I'm still new to this, that I won't meet your expectations. I worry I'm taking too long to do things, or that the sounds aren't right, or that the models look weird, or that for some reason the videos won't play on 1% of devices, or that I'm not posting a tease or a tweet in too long. Being 100% honest with you, THIS element of creating content for you, THAT is what is stressful.

Animating is something I enjoy. I don't want it to become stressful. Additionally, there are other things in my life that need my attention, and as much as I love you guys and everything you do for me, I don't live online. My real life is the real world I live in, and in order to preserve my presence online, I have to look after myself in real life as well. I guess it took the real risk of me going under the knife and never waking up to realise this, but it's a realisation that has hit with a hammer blow. I enjoy the challenge of animation and the feedback I get from you guys, but I can't let the love of that challenge obstruct my real existence in the world.

What does this mean / TL;DR:

I'm taking a holiday. It's just a week, but for one week, I'm going to step away from the computer and not model, animate, render, compose, record... anything. Just for one week. I don't WANT to, but I think it's important for my ability to carry on making stuff for you guys. I'm going to take one week off to go hiking, relax & recharge my batteries, and come back, better than ever before! I'm making this announcement so you all know why I am not going to be posting anything or respond to anything in the next 7 days. Please don't worry! I'm fine! I just need a little time to myself.

I'll see all of you again on the 24th March. I'll post the toothless .blend files for the $25 patreons and the new sound library for the $10 patreons then, and hopefully - subject to rendering - have some new content for the rest of you $10 patrons the 31st :)

Thank you all for your patience. You're all amazing and I don't know what I'd do without you.
Look after yourselves,
DreamerTooth.