Frieren 74

Title: Little Fern’s Confession

Fern staggered forward, gritting her teeth and enduring the pain in her fingertips, hearing footsteps as Ash approached the house. She instinctively looked up, but upon seeing him, she felt deeply awkward and lowered her head again to avoid eye contact.

Even so, the polite child still greeted him with a hoarse voice from crying the previous night: “Good morning, Ash-sama…”

“Morning… but let me carry that.”

Ash sighed and took the water bucket.

But before he took two steps, Fern’s voice came from behind: “T-that—Ash-sama!”

“…What’s up?”

“Yesterday… I’m really sorry!” Fern bowed deeply, her body almost forming a ninety-degree angle.

Her overly respectful demeanor made Ash feel anxious: “It’s fine, that’s normal. You’re still a kid, after all.”

“Thank you… Um…”

“Something else?” Ash turned back; Fern looked extremely tense.

Fern looked up and asked cautiously: “Is… something wrong with me?”

“No, I’m the one who’s wrong.”

“What… do you mean?”

“You’re not yourself today.” Ash set the bucket down and sat on the wooden steps. He looked at the helpless child standing there as he gazed at her. He lowered his head unconsciously and sighed softly: “Like I said before, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve no reason to apologize. It’s purely my fault.”

“N-not true! I think Ash-sama is… a really good person!”

“Really? Be honest.”

“…There are some weird things. B-but! I only want Ash-sama! I don’t want anyone else! Absolutely—not at all!”

The little girl clutched the hem of her skirt and shouted those words with all her might. Her eyes closed unconsciously from tension, as if afraid to see a scene that would make her despair.

But in reality, Ash just sat on the steps, propping his chin with his elbow on his thigh, sighing with a smile: “…What’s with those words? If you were seven… no, you’re only seven and a half, right? If you were eight or nine years older and said that to me, I might be a bit touched.”

“I, I’ll definitely say it! Even eight or nine years from now, I’ll definitely say it!”

(Why does it have to be eight or nine years older for him to be touched?)

Fern didn’t quite understand, but she placed her hand on her chest and promised him earnestly.

But such a serious yet innocent promise made Ash shake his head with a smile: “You’re still young, you might not understand. But those words sound like a love confession.”

“A love confession?”

“It means expressing your feelings, like admiration or liking.”

“…So this is how I express my feelings for Ash-sama?” Fern tilted her head in confusion. After thinking for a moment, she said nervously: “I, I understand… Does Ash-sama actually dislike kids? Because kids are too troublesome? Or am I too disobedient?”

“No, no, it’s not like that… Ugh, my fault. Let’s not talk about this anymore. If someone overheard, they’d think I’m some weird deviant.”

Though it should’ve been a serious explanation, Ash got such a strange interpretation. And with an innocent child listening, he couldn’t look straight ahead, propping his forehead with one hand.

But such words left Fern very confused. Though he’d said that, she couldn’t help saying: “Ash-sama, whatever you don’t like about me, I’ll seriously fix it!”

“No, you’re really great. There’s not a single thing I dislike about you. I like you a lot too. But, exactly because of that, I can’t stay with you like this.”

“Why?!”

“…Ugh, how do I put this?”

Seeing the girl being somewhat assertive with him for the first time, Ash rubbed his aching temples and sighed deeply: “Think about it, I’m really busy, right?”

“So?” The girl’s eyes were firm, without a hint of doubt.

“So I can’t take care of you properly. If you’re with someone better…”

“I don’t care!” Fern cut him off without thinking, stopping his words: “I don’t want anyone but Ash-sama!”

“…Is that so? That’s your answer? But why? Why are you so set on me?”

“Because if it weren’t for Ash-sama, I might’ve died on the roadside! Ash-sama gave me warm food and a clean bed! Gave me a home! When I felt unsafe, you hugged me tightly! In the scary middle of the night, you gently held my hand! Even when you were covered in wounds, the first thing you thought of was me being hungry—So… so! I, I really… really like Ash-sama like this!!”

At the end of this “confession” that nearly drained all her energy, Fern was slightly out of breath. Her chest still heaved with passion, but from exerting too much, she couldn’t breathe properly and had to regulate her ragged breathing at the end.

Because of these words, Ash stared at Fern in confusion. Complex feelings welled up in his heart.

He hesitated, wanting to say something, but didn’t know where to start.

Honestly, he was a bit shocked that Fern’s emotions could be affected this deeply… but he could also understand.

(So, is this my fault? Hmm, it’s clearly my fault, right? But I have reasons I can’t say. Parting is obviously a true win-win. Why don’t kids ever understand adult worries? No, I can’t shirk responsibility now, because Fern really doesn’t know anything—in a child’s world, parents are everything. I’ve taken on her parents’ role.)

Being abandoned is essentially the same as their world collapsing. Ash could at least understand this.

So, in the end, he couldn’t say anything. He just patted the step beside him, signaling Fern to come closer.

As Fern cautiously approached and sat obediently beside him, Ash stroked her hair, forced to compromise. He sighed softly and said: “For now… let’s put this matter on hold.”

“Why… not cancel it?”

“That…” Ash glanced at Heiter peeking from afar and suddenly got an idea: “Oh, by the way, why do you think I know Heiter?”

“Why?”

“Because actually, Heiter and I aren’t far apart in age.”

“…You’re lying?”

“I’m even older.”

Facing the disbelieving child, Ash used the same excuse he’d once told Frieren and the others.

Of course, compared to other reasons, this could lessen the hurt for Fern…

Though he wasn’t sure which would hurt more—saying he’d die or that he’d disappear for various reasons.

But as Ash felt he might negotiate this time and get Fern to choose a better family—Heiter suddenly stepped out.

The old man, unaware of his plan, smiled, holding an ancient book: “If it’s about age, there’s no need to worry.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is a magic book from Eiwisch, a sage from the Mythical Era. It contains lost magic for reviving the dead and immortality.”

Saying such absurd words, Heiter’s face looked utterly serious.

“No, that kind of magic doesn’t exist. You know who my teacher is…”

“Even the Great Mage of the Mythical Era wouldn’t truly know all magic. And this is an unsolved magic book.”

“…I feel like you’re lying to me.”

“Trust me this once. And if possible, I’d like to live a bit longer too. Isn’t that a win-win?”

Heiter ignored the doubt, smiling and handing the magic book to the half-believing Ash.

Fern, whose hands and feet had felt cold, her eyes nearly losing color, and tears about to flow again, had her eyes light up with hope during this conversation.

She even flashed a bright smile in an instant. Hugging Ash’s waist from the side, as if she were the one gaining immortality, she said excitedly: “—That’s great! Ash-sama! You can live really~ really~ long~! That way… that way we can be together forever~!”

“Yeah… yeah…”

Facing that innocent, sweet smile, feeling the small body hugging him tightly, and the slight trembling from feeling secure, Ash couldn’t keep denying and snuff out this small hope again.

After all, even he couldn’t bear letting this child, who’d just gained hope, fall into a deeper hell… and suffer again.

(This old man planned this, didn’t he?! I… how did I fail here??)

Ash forced a smile. But in his heart, he just wanted to hit the old man.

So, as he stroked the head of the little girl in his arms, he glared at Heiter, gritting his teeth and speaking in a tone that sounded happy: “To celebrate, we’ll drink your wine collection today, okay? You won’t refuse, right?!”

“Oh, oh~ Of course. Today we drink till we’re drunk!”

The pain Ash expected didn’t come. Heiter laughed until his face was full of wrinkles, heading back to fetch his collection.

It felt like Ash had punched cotton with his fist.

He was so frustrated… Ash didn’t understand what this guy was thinking.

How dare Heiter trick a friend he’d known for years for a kid he just met? Did he choose the wrong friend?

And no matter how Ash looked at it, this was at best a short-term compromise. From a long-term view, it was utterly irrational.

Rationality told him to tell the truth, but emotions stopped him from hurting the child clinging to him again. So, in the end, amid this confusion…

“Haaa…”

(Forget it, let’s see what happens later. If there’s no other choice, I’ll just raise Fern.)

Ash picked up Fern, looked at the sky at a 45-degree angle, and let out a long, resigned sigh.