Fantasy Libary 57

Title: What You Truly Desire

Claudia’s wish was something Ark always knew.

It was a deeply sorrowful wish.

Ark glanced at Pandora, who was resting in Claudia’s embrace.

Her tragic wish stemmed entirely from the existence of that device.

Outsiders would never guess that Claudia, always calm and graceful, always wearing a mature and elegant smile, was on the brink of despair.

For over a thousand nights, Pandora had haunted her with nightmares, tormenting her with the suffering of death, stripping away her will to live.

However, this wasn’t a matter of Claudia’s mind being shattered by suffering and despair, driving her to seek death as an escape. If that were the case, she could have simply discarded Pandora, abandoned this dangerous Orga Lux, and freed herself from its torment. There would have been no reason to seek death.

Yet Claudia chose not to relinquish Pandora and continued to use it. Her determination and resilience were admirable, but it undoubtedly raised troubling concerns.

After experiencing death countless times, she arrived at the grim realization of one inevitable truth: death.

She began to believe that, no matter how happy life might be or how much wealth one might possess, death would ultimately render it all meaningless.

Thus, she started to think that instead of focusing on how to live, she should focus on how to die.

This line of thought led Claudia to a conclusion: She wanted to die for someone else.

For Claudia, this was the most meaningful way to die.

Coincidentally, one of Pandora’s nightmares vividly depicted such a death—where Claudia sacrificed herself to protect Amagiri Ayato.

Among all the nightmares she had experienced, that one felt the most satisfying to her.

And so, a dangerous idea took root in her mind.

She wanted to recreate that scene in reality.

She wanted to give everything to achieve the satisfaction she felt in that dream.

This was Claudia’s wish and the reason she worked so hard to bring Ayato to Seidoukan Academy.

It was all to realize the grand spectacle of her death.

“How foolish.”

Ark couldn’t help but voice his honest opinion about that wish.

“Huh?”

Claudia froze, stunned by his words.

She looked at the expression on his face—one she had never seen before. He looked serious, even cold.

“Isn’t it?” Ark said indifferently. “Your idea—at best, it’s about transcending life and death. At worst, it’s just an escape from reality.”

At that moment, Ark thought about his own life.

His parents divorced. His grandparents passed away. He lived alone, facing countless hardships and trials.

During that time, he found life bitter and unfair.

Yet not once did he consider giving up.

“Giving up on survival is easy. What’s hard is striving to move forward.”

“Even if death takes everything, the things we leave behind while alive won’t simply disappear.”

“Does the inevitability of death mean you can’t find happiness while you’re still alive?”

“Does the certainty of loss mean you shouldn’t strive to have something in the first place?”

“If you skip the process and go straight to the result, what’s the point of living?”

Ark stared at her, each word heavy with meaning.

“Listen, Claudia. People strive to live, not just because of survival instincts or fear of death, but because they want to leave something behind in this world. Because they have something they want to achieve.”

“Death may have value, but life creates greater value.”

“A meaningful death is admirable, but a meaningful life is even more commendable.”

“If someone lives only to seek death, then they have betrayed the very essence of existence.”

At least, that’s what Ark believed.

“So forgive me for being blunt, but your wish is foolish. Your thinking is wrong.” Ark said without hesitation. “I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. Anyone who knows about your wish would think the same.”

This time, it was Claudia’s turn to fall silent.

“...It seems you know more than I thought, Ark-kun.” She said, her smile fading slightly.

And for once, Ark didn’t deny it.

“I’m glad you’re feeling uncertain now.” He said. “It means you’re starting to doubt your wish, starting to question your actions.”

“After experiencing true happiness, if you still insist that life is meaningless and death is the only truth, then truly, nothing can save you.”

Claudia’s doubt likely stemmed from the change in her dreams. What once tormented her as nightmares had transformed, through Ark’s intervention, into beautiful dreams filled with happiness. Having never experienced such joy before, she couldn’t help but wonder if her previous beliefs were too extreme.

Now that she understood what happiness was, it was only natural for her to hesitate about pursuing death.

“This is a good thing. I hope you’ll face it head-on, reflect on your feelings, and truly think about what you really want.”

With that, Ark said nothing more.

Claudia stared at him for a long time before lowering her gaze to Pandora in her hands.

The room fell into complete silence.

Neither of them spoke again, while the ceremony outside the room continued smoothly.

Finally, the drawing ceremony began.

“Alright, I’ll go now.” Claudia said suddenly, standing up with her usual smile, as if nothing had happened.

“Go ahead.”

Ark nodded, as if he hadn’t just delivered a heartfelt lecture moments ago.

Claudia left the room, walking toward the stage. Her expression returned to neutrality.

“A meaningful death is admirable, but a meaningful life is even more commendable...”

Claudia sighed, a hint of mockery in her voice.

“That’s the first time anyone’s said that to me.”

It wasn’t that no one knew about her sorrowful wish. As Ark said, anyone who knew would consider it foolish and pitiful.

Yet no one had ever explained to her why seeking death was foolish and pitiful.

Only Ark had told her that life held greater value and meaning.

“What I truly want...”

Claudia stopped in her tracks, then turned back toward the room.

In truth, she wanted to tell Ark that what she desired most was him.

Yes, that was her deepest wish.

The reason was simple.

In her recent dreams, Ark was always there.

Pandora had once shown her many ways to die, but now, it showed her many ways to be happy.

And among her dreams, there was one constant: a life where she loved, married, and grew old with someone, leaving no regrets behind.

That person was always Ark.

“This must be your doing, right?”

Claudia touched Pandora’s activation device, fully aware of its influence.

Perhaps she feared Ark, or perhaps she believed that being with him was true happiness. Whatever it was, in every beautiful dream Pandora wove, Ark was at the center.

Claudia didn’t know what Ark had done to make Pandora, with its terrifying personality, respect him so much.

But one thing was certain.

It was all because of Ark.

“...Hehe...”

For some reason, Claudia’s lips curved into a genuine smile.

With light steps, she continued forward.