Regular Show Old Testament Audio + Script

Regular show Old Testament

B: Mordecai and Rigby! You two wanna keep coveting your neighbors brides and lusting after philistine women, huh?

M: it’s not our fault benson, these plunders and spoils of war keep coming, victory is in our hands!

B: and which God of Moses keeps making that possible?

Muscle Man (in philistine garb): dudes I know, it’s Baal, the one tru*zapped, doesn’t talk again but camera pans to him occasionally where he would say something*

B: Now quit being cowards and join me at the front lines! We gotta fight the big guy*benson leaves*

R: I don’t think T-Mobile works out here

M: Benson’s gonna scald us if we don’t help fight the big guy

R: don’t you mean scold?

M: no dude.

R: dude it was your idea being king Bensaul’s armor bearer!

M: Dude whatever, let’s go get ambushed again or whatever

*goes to frontlines*

*it’s just skips and a few other guys, skips is massive*

S: I didn’t agree to any of this. I hate this so much.

R: that guy’s huge

*zooms in on muscle man pile steaming*

B: NOW IS NO TIME FOR A MY MOM JOKE

P: guys I will handle this (pops dressed as David with a slingshot)

M: look! It’s Pops the Shepard!

(Angry birds slingshot stretch, SpongeBob brick clunk)

(Everyone happy making an “ah” happy sound at once)

Maelard: Bensaul kills his thousands and Pops his ten thousands! (Have accompanying verses from the Bible appear where this is said just flashing the number and book name, have him ascend to heaven in a fiery chariot as Elijah) so long suckers!!

B: HE’S NOT BETTER THAN ME! He should be getting ambushed every day! (Flash all verses where this happens on the top of the screen in yellow subtitles noting where this actually happens)

M: I kinda forget what happens after this part

B: *looks like pure evil, a spear slowly raises (reference the several verses where Saul throws his spear at David or threatens to), armies appear behind him, scares everyone and they all scream as the mic tops out and video ends*

Dude bensaul’s gonna scald us if we don’t help fight the big guy

Don’t you mean scold?

No dude

😳☹️

Goliath would be broly

R: that guy’s huge

No time for my mom joke

P: guys, i will handle this

R: Guys look, it’s pops the Shepard

(Ah sound over and over)