Divine Discipline: bridging the bridge

it's 6am call, 6.20 exactly as i write this line, a few sips of coffee in, and i feel collapsed between time and space. half-awake, half-dreaming, still replaying in the expansion i felt last night. the expansion of becoming bigger vessel, to be able to hold more of life force that is opening and coming to and through you, or it's really the cancer moon, the deep water that is nurturing home: home within. so i let it, i let it all in, fell into the land of dream.

an act to nurture the dreams: with the trust and care that is coming in it's divine timing, the creation started in the darkness, in the quiet, in the womb-like-space, just like birthing baby, it needs time, an actual nine months time to deliver and a dream, a goal, and creation, is the same, to trust the process has been always the key, it needs time to incubate, to grow it roots down in the dark in the quiet, down towards the center of the earth, before it visible, before it appears, before it reaching up above the earth. nurture the dreams, tending to the dream, show up for it, it may seems like nothing happening, but it never nothing, sometime and most of the time it's that super subtle shift that yes exactly like nothing is there shifting, be patient: it's it that time and period when nothing seems to be happening and you keep showing up, you pour yourself into it, into your dreams, to your vision that you hold so vividly, and that it's closer than you think: until the vision holding you (it's shiver in my bones and beating louder in my heart as i write this, hahaha, not me crying)

i my practice of creative living, i made a vow, yes handwritten vow, signed, sticked to the wall:
"okay creative forces, you will take care of the quality and i will take care of the quantity"

this is the bridge to that creative forces: the action is the bridge to bring the magic to live, it force you create, create, create, whatever that wants come through you, and you don't have to worry about the quality because at this moment you are only responsible for the quantity, it force you to listen and to dance at the beginning, until you own the rhythm.

be so devoted in whatever practice that pulls you towards, be so excited to show up like there won't be another day, and see what happens, i know it's easier said than done, but boy... i could write this because it's now me in coffee shop with one other guy in the corner (i knew he show up too at 6am for himself, doing his own stuffs) and this "Divine Discipline" is what wants to come through me, you're the vessel, you're the channel: remember the quality is taken care of by the creative force, i create this because when the creative force comes to me, i say yes, i'm available (uuufh, shit, i'm literally crying answering this to myself, well to the creative force... thank you, thank you, thank you)

i have mantra playing, "Aap Sahai Hoa" this past 30' since this was a blank page, and it transcend, i feel like i'm really in between space and it just my fingers that is dancing over the keyboard, almost same practice like a morning pages: i've been writing almost a thousand pages of any kind and everything that is wanted to be written and even the i don't know what to write things (ps. if you read the early post you know) it's discipline, then it's ritual, and it becomes devotional.

like a song i didn't write but remembered,
like a prayer i didn't invent but was born to speak,
you're the vessel, you're the channel.
because the bridge was already built.

i only needed to walk across it.