My First Apartment Chapter 22

I let their words and instructions sink in. I was scared and confused about everything. How could three assaults and witness intimidation lead to my sequestered state of being? There has to be a lot more to this. If they were a small organized family, why risk arrest by harassing me? I'm a nobody!

I needed answers! I needed more. I trust Rianna. But things were worse than they were telling me. Something didn't make sense. Right now I was more worried about being placed into WitSEC than I was being killed. I just got myself a life! A life I was enjoying.

I walked onto the front porch and started pacing. The thought of not returning to my life and friends was more terrifying than anything I could think of. I was always taught to do the right thing.

My mom's voice echoed in my head. Only Honor trumps Loyalty. The only person that can take away your integrity is you! I sat down on a porch swing and started to cry.

John walked onto the porch.

I know this is a lot to absorb. He said.

Do you? I asked through my tears.

I was a rookie sheriff deputy when I was assigned to a deep undercover assignment. I was sent in at the request of the FBI. Despite the danger of the assignment, I was cut off from my family and friends. My only contact with the outside world was my partner Blake.

The isolation was the worst! I spent months without any connection to anyone. I know exactly what you are feeling!

You do?

Yes, Lana, I do. I'm very close to my family. My mother and father are my heroes! My sisters are my strength. It's their love and caring that kept me going. It was a constant source of strength I used to return home.

But I don't have a big family, just my Dad!

Look around you! You have a family! You have a good life! It's worth fighting for! He said.

What if this fails? If they beat this? What makes you think you are going to win this time?

What I really need to know is what aren't you telling me?

I can't get into the details! Your assault gave us the opportunity we needed to get warrants and apply more pressure than ever before. These people look like they're bums, but they are anything but! They live well below their actual financial means, keeping a low profile.

They are literally a family! Blood-related. No agent has ever been able to penetrate their inner circle. None of their criminal activities have been conducted locally. Because of you, they are now in the system! We can use their DNA, and fingerprints and search databases links to unresolved crimes. But it takes time, and there are a few more out there!

How long am I going to be here? I asked

About 10 weeks! That's when Lou Senior's trial starts. We have 10 weeks to gather additional evidence and press additional charges. Thanks to his wife's stunt with that note on your door we can hold them without bail!

Do you know how to ride a quad? John asked.

I spent a summer in the Wisconsin Country side. Quads were our primary transportation! I said

Get some jeans and boots on, Hank is going to give you a tour!

Sounds great! I said.

Hank, John, Rianna and myself headed out on his tour. The property was over 600 acres of grape vines. He had a creek running through the property. We went over a bridge to a small cabin on the far corner of the property. I thought it was great. The air smelled sweet and refreshing.

The place was massive, rows and rows of white and red grapes. We ate a few, they were so much better straight off the vine. Hank took us to the fermentation building., it looked almost brand new.

He showed me how the grapes were washed and processed. He used oak barrels for everything. A lot of his equipment was modern but not all of it. He had one building for his signature wines. He explained that this was how things used to be done. Some of the details he shared went over my head.

We returned to the house for lunch, nothing fancy just a salad and bread sticks. After lunch Rianna and I went for another ride on the quads. She took me on a trail that went up the side of the mountain. The spot was semi secluded.

This is the secret spot! She said. Cathy brought me her years ago. It's my favorite place! She said.

I can see why the view is spectacular! I said. It's beautiful!

It's also one of the few places you can get cellphone reception too! Rianna added.

She opened up a picnic basket we ate cheese and sipped some wine.

She talked about how she brought John here when they were in college. How May and Hank provided her with sanctuary when she needed it the most. By the way she talked about this place you could tell she loved it here.

Lana, I want you to understand, I don't bring my clients here. You are my client, but you mean more than that to me! I hope you understand. I see great potential in you! This situation your in isn't your fault. Transitioning is tough enough without it. My only motivation is to help.

I see a lot of myself in you! The only difference between us is you made the choice to transition. Which in my opinion makes you a courageous person. Take the time here, meditate a little, calm down your mind. Find your center, absorb and harness your inner strength.

We have a tough fight coming up. You need to be ready. Exercise, meditate and get focused. Because when you return home we will be in court. Court is a different form of combat. It's not like a TV trial, it's part humiliation, part drama and part insulting. You have a chance to put some very nasty people behind bars.

I can't wait to testify! I said. I want to get my life back! I said.

I know! Believe me! I know better than anyone! You're a fighter! Just like me!

I'm not a black belt! I said.

There's a lot more to fighting than using your hands or a weapon. Rianna said. Using your head and heart are more effective than just using your hands. If you can't focus and anticipate at least 3 moves ahead you won't achieve your goals.

Like playing chess! I said

My mentor and adopted big sister Cathy hammered it into me, Always have more than one contingency plan. Rianna said. In any fight, conflict or argument you have to think at least three moves ahead! That and focusing on your goals is the key to winning! You don't have to play dirty to win, but you do have to be ready for it! Rianna stated.

I left something in your room, Don't open it until we leave tomorrow. Read it! I also left you my old Rosetta Stone kits for speaking Spanish and Korean. You might as well study while you're here.

Who speaks Spanish here? I asked.

Hank and May both speak Spanish and Korean. May will love it! Trust me! Come on! We better get back we have to change for dinner tonight!

Change? What for? I asked

May is cooking Korean, tonight! We always get dressed formally for dinner!

A formal Korean dinner? I don't have anything to wear!

No worries! I'm sure I have something you'll look great in!

Maybe but I don't have much on top!

Stop worrying so much! You trust me, don't you?

Of course! I said.

Come on! I'll race you back! Rianna said.

When we got back to the house we were both dusty! I was having a great time, even being separated from my life as I am. John and Hank were dressed up in black slacks and nice dress shirts.

Grampa! Where's Grandma? Rianna shouted.

Upstairs! She wants to see Lana!

Thank you! She shouted.

Come on girlfriend! This is going to be special!

Okay.... I said, wondering what was going on.

Rianna knocked, are you decent? She asked

Is Lana with you?

Yes!

Come in!

May was dressed in a full-length Formal Korean dress! She looked beautiful. Her dress clung to her almost like a second skin. Her petite body had curves in all the right places! The Split went over halfway above her thigh.

Her makeup was bold and tasteful. Her eyeliner was winged and perfect. Her eyeshadow was a perfect black and silver smokey eye with gold glitter just above the eye crease. May's hair was tied up in a messy bun with decorative oriental hair pins.

Ree, darling! Go get dressed! I'll take care of Lana!

Thanks Grandma. Rianna said.

Lana, take a quick shower and wash your hair! I'll have everything ready for you when you're finished in the bathroom.

I did what May told me to. I was certain I wouldn't be as beautiful as May or Rianna, but I would try!

May had Nexus Shampoo and conditioner. I shampooed my hair twice quickly and then conditioned my hair and let it set. I brushed my teeth quickly and finished washing myself with the loofah. I rinsed out my hair and my body. My body hair was non-existent! I noticed my breasts were beginning to blossom!

I wrapped the towel under my arms and walked out. May gave me a motherly smile. It made me smile and brought a tear to my eyes.

What's wrong Lana? May asked in a caring manner.

Your smile, you remind me of my mother! She had the same affectionate smile.

Where is she?

She died 3 years ago! Breast cancer!

Ohh! Sweetheart! May hugged me tightly! As caring and compassionate as it felt, it made me cry even more!

I'm sorry! I said blubbering through my tears.

Don't be! Let it all out! That's what women do! We cry and let it all out!

I don't know why I'm crying! I said still blubbering.

Because you are a girl now! All those repressed emotions are surfacing! Let it out! Let your mother hear your tears! She's watching over you! She wants you to release your pain! Your mother would be proud of you!

How do you know that? I asked.

Because I'm a mother and a daughter! We want you to be happy, not hold onto your pain.

May hugged me again and kissed my forehead. She held me for a couple minutes. I cried for several minutes and before I knew it, I was calming down.

Feel better? May asked.

Yes! Actually I do.

How did you know?

Know what? About my repressed pain and emotions.

Common sense! You're transgender, right?

Yes! But how do you know!

Rianna told us! Relax ! Many of our closest friends are transgender, more like family actually!

Rianna was adjusting to her new identity when Hank and I met her. We fell in love with her almost immediately! We unofficially adopted her as our granddaughter!

Thank you, May!

Let's get you dressed!

May gave me a Hawaiian blue dress with an Oriental flower pattern on it. It was trimmed in gold and had large gold threaded buttons. It was made of the softest satin. It shimmered in light. Four buttons secured my waist and another four on my left shoulder.

May helped me with my hair and makeup. I was given the same smokey eyeshadow and liner. May, used the blue glitter above my eye crease. my lips were colored in soft two tone pink lipstick. My nude stockings were shining in the long slit in my dress. My black heels finished things off.

Take a look! May said.

I looked in the mirror, I couldn't believe what I saw. It was amazing! I didn't see anything except a beautiful woman.

Do you like it? May asked!

I love it! Except I wish I had a little more on top! I said.

I can fix that! SIt down!

I sat in the chair. May unbuttoned my dress.

You're 36, right?

Yes!

Here this is one of Rianna's old bras I have some cutlets around here somewhere! Hold on! Ah! Here they are!

May positioned the cutlets with my budding breasts. In a matter of minutes I had B-cups with some cleavage. I looked into the mirror again and I gazed at the image I wanted for myself. The smile on my face wouldn't go away. I shifted and twisted back and forth in the mirror.

I think she likes it! May said with that motherly smile!

You're beautiful Lana! You almost look Korean!

But I'm Hawaiian! I said.

It's a compliment! May said.

Knock, knock! Is she ready? Rianna asked!

See for yourself! May said!

She's beautiful! Rianna said.

Come on girls! I'm hungry! May said. Rianna, lead us down!

Yes grandma!

May and I locked arms as Rianna led us downstairs. John and Hank stood up as we entered the dining area. The faces on Hank and John reminded me of Charlie! The look Charlie gave me every time he picked me up for a date. The morning after we made love for the first time!

It was at that very moment, Rianna's words about fighting for the life I was building for myself rang true! I have a lot to fight for! Rianna was right, this place is special, May and Hank were very special people!

Dinner was wonderful! The rice wine was good. The conversation was warm and friendly. John was interested in Charlie and his football scholarship.

We watched the sunset over the mountains while sipping Iced tea. The magic of this place was empowering me!

I put on my nightie and went to sleep.

The next morning I was up early, I put on my sweat pants and robe and smelled the coffee. I made a cup and grabbed a blanket. I walked onto the porch.

Sit! May said, as she patted the spot beside her.

May put her arm around me and pulled me towards herself. How are you doing, Lana?

I'm okay, I slept great. I said.

You had an emotional day yesterday! Are you sure? May asked.

You were right about having a good cry! I said I feel better. Maybe not 100% but I have a new focus now!

That's great, Lana! Never be afraid to cry! Crying is our way of restoring our strength as women. That's something men can never understand! You're a lot stronger than you realize! If you want? I can help you become stronger! I can show you many things, things I never had the opportunity to share with Cathy or Rianna!

I would love that! I said. It's not going to be easy! But if you listen to me, I can give you a new kind of inner-strength very few people have.

I'm in! I said.

Good, we'll start tomorrow! First you need to open Rianna's gift after she and John leave today!

Moments later John, Rianna and Hank walked out. John refilled our cups.

Rianna explained what was going on before they left. John explained that they were already investigating the Lou and his family's organization. The trial was ten weeks away.

Rianna hugged me goodbye. I watched them as Hank drove them to the airport! Rianna was carrying the letter I wrote to Charlie. I missed him. We'd only been together a few weeks, but our time together was special, to me at least. He deserves to know what's on my mind, Him!

I went upstairs and opened the package. It was Rianna's diary alright! Two books worth of her innermost thoughts and desires.

The first line read "The day I lost everything".

I started reading, I couldn't put it down! It reads like a John Grisham meets Danielle Steele novel. Rianna told me her story, but this was the unedited version. I was barely 150 pages in when May called me for dinner! (I missed lunch).

After dinner I went back upstairs and continued to read it.

Time for bed! We start early around here! May said.

I looked at the clock and it was almost 11 pm.