My New Normal Chapter 1

My name is Donald Sinclair Jr. I'm eight years
old. It was Christmas time, and I was in third grade when my entire life changed. 

I was doing a Christmas play with my entire third-grade class. I had the second-largest role in the play. I was Santa Claus' number one elf. This was the first time I wore tights. My elf costume was made of green velvet with a green and red satin leaf-style skirt that hung halfway to my knees. I wore red nylon tights and black Mary Jane shoes with block heels, pointy toes, and bells attached to them. My bodysuit was red and had a snap crotch. 

I loved the feeling of the satin bodysuit. I especially loved the way the nylons felt on my legs. The shoes didn't bother me at all. I was twirling in the mirror, admiring myself, when my Mom caught me. She smiled her loving smile at me. I smiled back in a way that only a happy child could

When we got to the school we went in the back and started getting ready for our play. My Mom came with me. The girls were giggling and having a lot of fun. The boys were all complaining about getting makeup put on them.  I was actually enjoying the attention. I tried to keep a straight face and stayed quiet as my Mom applied my stage makeup. 

Everyone was given foundation, extra blush for our cheeks, lip gloss, and mascara. I actually liked how I looked and I loved the way the costume felt against my skin. 

The play started and I remembered all my lines. I was in step with all the girls; the boys did okay, thankfully, they didn't ruin it. We got loud applause from the crowd. My parents were the loudest of the bunch. 

My Mom and Dad hugged me and told me how great I was. They were very proud of me. It was a great feeling, my parents both smiling with pride. 

My Dad took us to my favorite restaurant, Denny's for dinner. I had the French toast. We held hands as we walked back to the car. I was thinking how wonderful Christmas time is. I was still in my costume. I didn't want to take it off. 

Christmas vacation started, and we went to my Dad's parents' farm for the holidays. My cousins came over for Christmas and we built a snow fort and snowmen. It was a great Holiday. 

Two weeks after I started school again. My Dad started getting awful and painful headaches. My Mom and I took Dad to the hospital. Three days later he was diagnosed with stage four Brain cancer. The doctor said it was inoperable. 

They tried everything, chemotherapy, radiation. Nothing worked. 

Within four weeks of my Dad's diagnosis both his parents died of heart attacks within a week of each other. My mom's parents died before I was born. My Grandparents left my Dad and us everything. My Dad quickly set up a trust for my mother and me. He explained everything to us over and over. I prayed every night for God to save my Dad, to cure him. Eight months after my grandparents died, we buried my father next to them. 

His loss shook Mom and me to the core. I loved my Dad. He was my best friend. He never missed anything I did. He taught me how to play catch and fish. He taught me how to play Chess. Now I had no more Dad. 

My Mom is a strong woman. She cried on and off for a week. Eventually, she picked herself up and started getting back to normal. I didn't know what normal was anymore. 

Within two weeks of my father's death things at school began to change for me, and not for the better. The bullies came out of nowhere. I was an easy target for them. No father to stick up for me. I was smaller than most boys and had a softer disposition than the average boy. I got along better with the girls than the boys. 

School became a nightmare for me. I hated school, I used to love school. Several times a few girls stuck up for me. This only made things worse when they weren't around. It got to the point that I had to wait for class to start just to use the bathroom without someone trying to bully me or shove my head in a toilet. I stopped going to the cafeteria for lunch because someone would always shove food in my face. 

My mother tried talking to the teachers and principal but nothing seemed to help. 

I ended up eating my lunch in the classroom. I waited in class until my mom texted me to come out. 

My Mom sent me to a therapist. But the therapist said he couldn't help me because I refused to talk.

I don't know how I endured the constant bullying, but I did. I became a complete shut-in. When I got home, I went straight to my room and wouldn't come out until Mom called for dinner. Mom tried everything to get me out of my room. 

She tried taking me out to dinner, but I wouldn't go. She tried getting me to go to movies, but I refused. She once tried to plan a weekend at Cedar Point Amusement Park. Again, I was just too afraid to do anything. Nothing felt safe. I stayed in my bedroom wearing my red tights under my pants. 

As the school year was coming to an end, my mother kept pestering me about signing up for baseball, golf, or tennis. I refused to do anything that involved me leaving the house. A month before the school year ended, a dance studio opened up next door to the salon my mother goes to. 

School got out for the Summer on a Tuesday. Wednesday morning, my mom told me to get cleaned up, we were going out. Again I refused. 

Damn it, Donny! You can't live your entire life in your room! If you don't get moving, you'll regret it! No TV,  no phone, no video games! You have 30 minutes! Then I start pulling everything out of your room! 

I've rarely seen my Mom this angry. The Last time, it was when a teacher clawed my arm with her long red nails. My Dad took a step back that day. I took a shower, put on my jeans and a T-shirt, and we were heading towards the strip mall. 

Mom parked in front of the dance studio. 

What are we doing here? 

You won't play sports, you won't go to the park, you don't do anything except sit in your room! You need activities! Your father is gone, sweetheart! I wish I could bring him back, but I can't! I miss him too, but life goes on. You need to move on! 

No one will let me move on! Don't you get that! Since he died, I've been a target for anyone who wants to pick on me. Everyone hates me. All they want is to make me feel inferior to them! Guess what? It worked. I was almost in tears. 

Donny, it's either this or I send you to military school! I can't have you living in fear! Your father wouldn't want you living like you are! It's your choice! Dance class or military school! Your choice!

I certainly didn't want to be shipped off to military school. So I did the only thing I could do, I got out of the car. Mom and I walked into the studio. A very tall sculptured woman in a leotard walked to the reception desk. She had a heart-shaped face, caramel brown hair, and a very friendly smile. 

Ms Sinclair, nice to see you again! 

Thank you, Mistress Miller, for seeing us. 

You must be Donny! Welcome! 

Hello, I said. I was scared out of my mind. I kept thinking that if anyone finds out about this, I won't be bullied, I'll be killed! 

Remind me, please. Your son wants to sign up for Tap dancing lessons? 

Yes, and Ballet! My mother said. 

I'm dead! I thought to myself. 

Tap dancing isn't a problem, but I only teach girls Ballet dancing. 

Can you make an exception? My Mom asked. 

I suppose I could, however, he will have to dress and be outfitted the same as the girls!. I have an opening for Tap dancing but it's for a girl. If your son wants lessons, he's going to have to conform with my girls. 

What do you say, Donny? You want to give it a try? My Mom asked rhetorically. 

Yes ma'am! That was all I could say. 

Alright then! Here's a list of the items he's going to need. He's also going to need a new hairstyle. He'll also need his ears pierced and his eyebrows shaped and arched. From now on Donny, you will arrive and leave here dressed as a girl. Agreed? 

Yes ma'am! I said. 

Monday and Wednesday are Ballet practice, and Tuesday and Thursday are Tap. 

Now I normally don't do this, but for you, I'm going to make one more exception. You will attend both morning and afternoon classes for both, at no extra charge. I need to get you up to speed as quickly as possible for our Christmas recital. Are you still willing to start on Monday? 

Yes Ma'am! I said trying to sound positive! I was still scared out of my mind. My Mom was smiling. She broke my will to refuse her. Deep inside myself, I knew she was right, and Ballet and Tap dancing were better than being shipped off to military school. Or so I thought. 

We'll see you at 10 o'clock on Monday morning! Mistress Miller said. 

Thank you, Mistress Miller! My Mom said. 

Mom took my hand and led me next door to the salon. 

Morning Rachel! 

Morning Lena! I need a favor. Do you have any openings today? 

I don't, but my new girl, Charlene, is wide open today! What do you need? 

My son, Donny, is starting Dance classes next door on Monday, and he needs a more feminine hairstyle and his ears pierced. 

That makes sense, she only teaches girls! 

My jaw dropped open. I realized I had painted myself in a corner. I refused every opportunity my mom offered and she was fed up with my hermit lifestyle. It still didn't do anything to curb my fears and insecurities. If I were smarter, I would have suggested a karate class! But it's too late now. 

I'll be right back, Rachel. 

Five minutes later, Lena walked back to the reception desk with Charlene. My eyes almost popped out of my head. Charlene was about 18 and stunningly beautiful. Her beauty was intimidating. She had blonde hair with bright red and pink streaks.

Her V-shaped face looked like it was sculptured by angels. She had high cheekbones and a pert nose. She had 5 earlobe piercings in each ear. Her makeup was a bit heavy and applied to perfection. Her nails were pink with white tips. Her hazel eyes felt like a tractor beam drawing me into her. I was in a trance unable to move or speak. 

Donny? Donny! Lena exclaimed.

This is Charlene! She will be taking care of you today. Just relax and listen to her. Charlene knows exactly what you need. Okay? Lena stated.

Yes ma'am! 

Don't worry sweetheart! Mommy will be right outside! 

Come with me cutie! Let's have some fun togetherr! Charlene said in perky manner. 

Charlene held out her hand smiling at me the whole time. I took her hand and she led me to her station. 

Don't worry about a thing Donny! By the time we are done you'll be an adorable girl. Donny will be a memory and you will become Donna! 

Thinking to myself, great my hairstylist just renamed me! What's Next? I thought sarcastically.

Charlene positioned me in her chair and started washing my hair. She gave me a scalp massage. It felt great. I could feel myself beginning to relax a little. 

I hear you are taking dance classes nextdoor? 

Yes Ballet and Tap dancing lessons.

I used to dance when I was your age. I took tap and Jazz dancing lessons. 

Do you play any sports? Charlene asked. 

No I'm not a big sports fan. 

I play golf and tennis, I love to play tennis. I played tennis in high school. Charlene said. 

I was terrified of what was about to happen. 

Don't worry about a thing! I'll have you looking adorable before you know it. You have beautiful hair, it's so thick and wavy. 

She started rinsing my hair and then she added conditioner to my hair. You should consider a moisturizer regimen for your skin you don't want to dry out in the summer heat. 

Thanks! I said. I didn't understand what she meant about a skin regimen. 

She towel dryed my hair and started cutting it. My hair hung just past my earlobes. I saw big chunks of hair dropping on the pink smock. I was facing away from the mirror and couldn't see what she was doing. I started looking around and saw women and girls in every chair. A few girls slightly older than me. I didn't see anyone I knew thank goodness. 

Next thing she did was using a roller along my eyebrows. It felt warm and good. She added a small cloth and ripped it off fast like a bandage. I almost jumped out of the chair.

Oww! That hurts!

Don't be a baby! Girls do this all the time! Charlene exclaimed. She did it three more times and started plucking my eyebrows. It stung like crazy. She put powder on my eyebrows and it cooled my burning skin.

She spun the chair around and said. Pay attention cutie! She showed me how to use the blow-dryer to style my hair. She showed me how to use a thing she called a flatiron to straighten and style the front of my hair. My eyebrows were much thinner and arched. 

She spun the chair around again. 

Just one more thing and your done. Charlene called my mom in. 

How many in each ear? She asked my mom. 

I was thinking two in each ear! Do you think we could get three in each ear? My Mom asked. 

Easily! Charlene said. 

3 in each isn't too many for a girl her age is it? Mom asked. 

It's the 21st century! Lots of little girls have two and three in each ear. I would wait on the nose stud until she's at least twelve. 

Nose stud! Thinking to myself what have I gotten myself into. 

Charlene gave me three gold studs, two large ones and a medium one. I hated to admit it, but I really liked them. I liked my hair too. 

Mom and Charlene studied my reaction. I didn't lash out in anger, I couldn't. I was confused and then that warm feeling of being in my elf costume returned and I felt myself involuntarily smile. 

Without a teasing tone, Charlene said.I think Donna approves! 

She's perfect! Mom said with delightful approval. 

Come on, Donna! It's time to do your nails! Charlene said.

Mom held my hand as we made our way to the nail station. 

His nails are rough Ms Sinclair! Would you mind if I gave her full set of Gel nails? 

Be my guest! French nails please! My Mom said. Make them short, Donna will need time to get used to them.

Of course Ms Sinclair.

I watched as Charlene started pushing back my cuticles, grinding my nails. I washed my hands and went back to the station and she started gluing long nail tips on my nails. I was worried for a minute, but she cut them down just past my fingertips.

She started applying the powdery paste, giving my nails a nice round shape on top. Charlene squared the tips evenly and started painting them bright pink. She applied three coats of pink and then she added cardboard to cover my nails and sprayed the tips frost white. After my nails were dry, Charlene added a little rhinestone to each pinky fingernail just like my mother. 

The last thing we did was my feet. This part I really enjoyed. Charlene washed my legs below my calves and let my feet soak in whirlpool of warm soapy water. The chair was massaging my back as I sat their relaxing. Yes, I was actually beginning to relax and enjoy the experience of everything.

The warm, comfortable feeling was still there. My mind said, this is wrong, but the warm feeling was overpowering my mind. I just gave in to how good I felt as opposed to my mind combating the positive happiness I needed. I felt comfortable and I dare say a bit happy. I haven't felt in ver long time. 

Charlene painted my toenails with the same style as my fingernails. I really liked them! 

We need to get you some sandals! Mom said. Your feet are beautiful. 

How do you like it, Donna? Charlene asked.

They're pretty! I like it! I said.

What did I just say! I thought to myself. What was I thinking.

Mom and Charlene just smiled at me. I felt a bit embarrassed but that warm, comfortable feeling within myself helped ease my embarrassment. 

Mom paid Lena and tipped Charlene. 

I hope I see again soon, Donna! Charlene said in slightly flirtatious manner. 

Mom and I headed to the mall. Mom parked just outside of the Kohl's department store. We got great spot right in front of the store. The mall was very quiet on Wednesday afternoon. 

We went to the shoe section first. I got a pair black flip-flops and a pair of pink ones with a small one inch wedge. I got a pair of white and cork sandals with a two inch wedge and some black flats. Mom also got me a pair of fuzzy pink slippers. She bought me one piece Speedo swimsuit in pink. 

Then I was taken to the girls section, I started getting really nervous. Fortunately there was no one around before I went into the changing room. Mom had me try on denim skirts, Katke skirts, and some tank tops and a couple girls T-shirts and a couple blouses. I had to walk out and show her every outfit. 

What came next was really embarrassing. My Mom handed me a couple sun dresses and skater dresses to try on. When I walked out there was another mother with her daughter stand at the entrance of the changing rooms. 

That looks adorable on you! The mother said. My Mom looked at me and said, you're right she is adorable. 

The word "adorable" made me blush. Hearing that word gave my the Willy's! 

I went back and changed into dress after dress, Mom approved of all of them. She handed me a satin pink nightgown and matching pair of panties to try on. Everything fit. The last thing I tried on was a pink denim skirt and a white tank top with short denim jacket. 

That looks lovely on you. Mom said. 

I liked it more than I wanted to. I just said, if you say so! Trying to renew my strength in defiance. It didn't work.

It's perfect sweetheart! Mom took the wedge sandals, skirt, tank top and jacket to counter and paid for it. She handed me a package of mulit-colored satin panties. Don't forget to wear your panties darling! Mom said. 

When I slid on the panties, that warm feeling returned. We stopped by the makeup counter, she bought me several lipsticks, lip gloss and some mascara and eyebrow pencil. She applied the lipgloss and just a little mascara. She colored my eyebrows just a touch. 

When I looked into mirror, I couldn't see myself! All I saw was a girl that looked like any other girl in the mall that day. That warm feeling was only reinforcing my happiness. My defiance was crumbling too fast for Donny! Donna however looked very happy. 

We paid for everything and before I realized what happened next we were at the dance and fitness store. 

You must be Rachel! I'm Tammy the owner, Michelle Miller called, and said you'd be coming in soon. And you must be her special student, Donnie! 

"Special Student" ohh great, everyone knows! I thought to myself as I started blushing again. 

She prefers, Donna! My mother said smiling. 

Donna, come with me. Let's get you measured up and we can start getting you outfitted! 

Yes ma'am! Was all I could manage. 

Tammy was very professional when she measured me. She talked softly and was very nice. She knew I was boy but never said anything to embarrass me. 

My husband and I used to do professional ballroom dancing, until I broke my ankle too many times. But I still love dancing. Do you like dancing? 

I did some dancing in play once, I really liked it. But I hate sports, and Mom decided I needed an activity so here we are! 

I think you're adorable! I think you're going love it! Especially with proper lessons from a professional like Mistress Miller. She used to dance and do Choreography on Broadway! She knows her stuff! Just listen to her and work hard, I think you will love it! 

I was loaded up with tights, tutus, unitards and leotards. All in pink, white, blue and yellow. I was sized up with ballet shoes for dancing with flat and points. Thankfully I was too young for toe dancing. 

Finally after over an hour of trying on my dance outfits we were heading home. I kept looking in the side mirror of car. I was still both shocked and amazed at my appearance. That warm feeling returned to comfort me as we drove home.