My First Apartment Chapter 16

Dad and I walked and talked for the next two days. He understood my identity crisis long before I did. He said that he and Bianca were still planning on visiting over the holiday season.

I told him about Charlie and Bunny (not in intimate detail). I told him how much Chloe helped me. I told him about Yoga, the girls, and my daily life. He was pleased to hear I actually had a real social life.

Early Tuesday morning my Dad flew back to Italy. I cried a bit as he left but I knew he couldn't stay. Tony stayed and visited with me between lunch and dinner. His family gathered together while he was in town. His phone was loaded with pictures. I was very happy for him.

On Wednesday I met with Dr. Lisa Maples, Sophia's friend, the psychiatrist. She had a V-shaped face with high cheekbones and full lips. She was equally beautiful as Sophia with long, wavy, Auburn hair. Her smile could light up a room.

Good morning, Lana! I'm Lisa! Sophia told me all about you. How are you feeling?

Like I was punched in the face by Mike Tyson! I tried to smile.

Lisa smiled! You still have your sense of humor! I hope you don't mind, I reviewed the medical and Police report from your encounter. I must say you're one brave girl!

You know I'm in transition, right?

Sweetheart some of my best friends are transgender! I trust them with my life!

Where do you want to start? I asked

Tell me about your childhood and let's work up from there. Lisa said.

There's not much to tell about my childhood that's traumatic. I've been blessed with two parents who loved me and supported me. I lost my Mom over three years ago to Breast cancer. It really shook me and my daddy to the core.

Lisa talked with me for over two hours. I cried on and off the whole time. I never realized I had so many repressed feelings. We talked about my attack and the bearing, if any, it has on my transition. I explained I never thought twice about not doing it! I told her about Chloe, Bunny, and Charlie. I told her about the girls at yoga class and talking with me before I made my decision to undergo HRT.

It sounds like you made a good life for yourself, in light of everything. Lisa said.

I'm a lot happier than I used to be! Even with this! I waved both hands at my mummified face.

No thoughts of stopping your transition or getting revenge?

I hate them for what they did! But I am not going to allow them to ruin my happiness or my goals. Besides they're all going to jail! Good riddance! I said.

You're one courageous girl! I have a friend who has been through something similar! If you want I could ask and see if you two could talk?

Someone like me?

Almost just like you! She's older than you. But like you, she forged a new life out of sheer determination!

Okay! I'll talk to her!

I'll call her and call you back! I have to go, Lana!

Can we talk again? I asked

How about early tomorrow morning?

I'm not going anywhere! I said trying to giggle.

Lisa left with a smile on her face. My session wasn't at all like I thought it would be. I did feel less anxiety and anger. I wasn't full of rage to begin with.

I got a text before dinner from Lisa that her friend Rianna was stopping by for a chat. I ate Dinner with Mary and her wife Sharon. They were a very happy couple. Sharon was transgender and very pretty. Sharon was a licensed Paralegal and had a bachelor's degree in business management. Sharon actually worked with Rianna.

I was watching TV when Rianna knocked and came into my room. She was in her late 20s, I was guessing. She had to be a size 2 by her build. She was wearing a very tight pencil skirt suit. It looked like a designer brand, I'm not sure which designer but she looked flawless!

She had an oval meets heart-shaped face, pert nose with a medium size rhinestone or diamond in her left nostril. Her copper red hair was pulled back in a high and very tight ponytail. She had more ear piercings than I'd ever seen. Her full lips complemented her face perfectly. Her lips, nails, and eyeshadow were minimal but projected power.

Her smile was friendly and warm. When she said hello I could see two studs in her tongue. She was wearing a beautiful wedding ring with a diamond that was larger than my mother's! She moved with the grace of a dancer!

Hi Lana! I'm Rianna! Nice to meet you!

Huh, huh, Hi! I stuttered!

I don't bite! She said.

You could have fooled me! You look....

Intimidating! She said. My apologies! I had court all day. It helps intimidate the opposing counsel!

May I? She waved towards a chair.

Please! I said.

Thank you! She smiled warmly. These heels are killing me! I've been standing for half the day!

Are you a Paralegal? I asked.

No, I'm an attorney!

Wow! That's impressive! I said.

It was a lot of work! But I don't regret a minute of it.

Are you going to college? She asked.

Unity State University in the fall.

They have a very good business and accounting program there! She said.

So tell me! How did you wind up as a mummy? Rianna asked.

I really liked her! She had my sense of humor and a positive attitude! It was infectious!

It's kind of a long story! I said.

I have time! My husband and the kids are in Las Vegas for the week. I'm used to long stories!

I don't know why, but I told her the unedited version of everything, including my trist with Chloe.

That's quite a story! She said. We're not that much different!

How so? I asked.

She proceeded to tell me her adventurous tale of Whow! She had me beat! I listened with undivided attention. She overcame a lot of obstacles getting to where she is. She didn't allow anyone to drag her down. She stood up every time. After a brutal beating and almost dying, she excelled and pushed forward, earning a college degree and attending law school. She married her high school sweetheart and adopted his children. Rianna was my new hero!

Did you ever see the movie Crusaders?

Once in a while back.

The girl who was the witness that was me! My husband was the Asian boy who saved my life.

Was that you?

It sure was! Don't let anyone kid you, acting is a lot tougher than being an attorney! I was in good shape before the movie and the physical work was exhausting!

You can fight like that? I sure can! My husband trained me! He's a world champion!. He won the US National Law Enforcement hand-to-hand combat tournament 3 years in a row! My son is a tournament champion too

Your husband is a cop?

He's an FBI agent!

You have had an adventurous life! I exclaimed.

It wasn't all bells and whistles! As you know. But you can't allow anyone to hold you down. You can't be afraid to ask for help or accept someone's help. I know firsthand how hard it is to trust anyone after a traumatic experience.

You may not feel like effects of PTSD now, but it can hit you anytime, anywhere. You may not experience any effects at all, but educating yourself is the best way to control it. If you forget everything about controlling your anger or have an episode, remember this: "Every decision, every action shapes your life," Rianna said.

Rianna had a certain way about herself. She didn't just talk at me or to me. She knew exactly what I needed to hear and she kept me focused. I wanted to know everything about her!

It was after 9 pm when Rianna left for the night. I actually started feeling a lot better. It wasn't the pain medication. I felt a sense of relief. Like a weight was somehow lifted off me. I

Thursday, Lisa returned.

We talked for an hour about my conversation with Rianna. Lisa said she could hear the difference in my voice. It was at that very moment that I noticed my voice was a couple of pitches higher than before I went into surgery. I also realized I haven't seen my face in a week.

The staff at the spa saw my face, but everywhere I went with a mirror they were covered. I didn't dare try to unwrap myself. I'd never get it back on. I asked several times to see my face but Doctor Channel said no.

Friday night, came and Rianna came to visit. She brought a friend, Brianna. Brianna was very voluptuous much like Chloe. She was dressed in a beautiful red sheath dress with 5-inch spike heels. She had a friendly round face full cheeks and pouty lips. She looked like a model. Her ash red hair was curled in large ringlets. I thought Rianna had a lot of piercings, Brianna was loaded with piercings. They really are very becoming on her.

Lana! This is my friend Brianna Stapleton!

Nice to meet you! Lana!

It's nice to meet you too, Brianna! How are you holding up?

Pretty good, they treat you like royalty here. Mary and Kelly have been great. I said.

That's great to hear, Lana, but that's not what I meant! Brianna said a bit directly.

I haven't any nightmares or cold sweats yet. If that's what you're asking.

Brianna, was the first person to not ask me how I was feeling. I took a small comfort in that.

I'm glad to hear that! PTSD isn't joke! It helps to talk about it! The more you talk about what happened, the less you have to carry.

No offense, but how does someone who's as beautiful as you have PTSD? I asked.

I was in the military. I was stationed in forward outpost in South America. It was a cushy little deployment. It was my third tour. We were overrun by terrorists and cartel soldiers. I lost six friends that night I won't bore you with the details, but it took a long time to control those demons.

A few years after I rertired from active duty, I lost my first wife and children in a car accident. I was home working on my house when the police notified me. My symptoms showed up soon after that.

I was close to taking my own life when met my wife. Her and Lisa saved my life. My point is if you experience symptoms, make sure you seek help! Brianna said.

I saw that thousand-yard stare in her eyes. I've seen that stare in movies, but she wasn't faking it.

Tell me your story, Lana!

Just like with Rianna, I told her everything in vivid detail.

That's quite a story! Brianna said.

I told you! Rianna said.

Your a brave girl!

Why does everyone say I was brave? I asked

I was scared, I screamed for help. I kicked a guy in the balls and tried running away. How is that brave?

It's brave because you fought back. It's brave because you didn't give in! Despite being overpowered and out numbered, you didn't back down! Brianna said.

If I was a boy, this wouldn't have happened! I said.

You don't know that! I've seen a lot of horrible things, many of them I ran from! But the night we were overrun I refused to give up without a fight. I used my instincts and training and with my good friend Joker we saved 12 people and our intel!

Joker and I were awarded medals for our bravery. I didn't feel brave. Most people that act courageously never feel brave! Brianna said. You're a fighter! Remember that!

I listened to Brianna with the same intense attention, I listened to Rianna with. It was hard to believe this incredible looking woman was transgender and a decorated Veteran.

The three of us talked for hours! I learned a lot! They told me about their transition experiences and relationships. Brianna was married with 3 children, two of them were her's, both girls!

Rianna's husband lost his first wife in a car accident. They got married a year after the accident. Rianna and her husband had started dating while she was adjusting to her HRT and PTSD therapy while in highschool.

I was actually feeling better about myself when they left.

Saturday and Sunday were quiet at spa. I was allowed to use the gym and was given a two hour body massage with warm oil and hot stones.

Tony went home for the week and promised to pick me up early on the following Sunday morning early!

On Tuesday, 11 days after my surgery, Doctor Channel removed my bandages. The physical relief of not wearing the bandage was welcomed.

Mary fluffed on my hair a little bit. Sophia handed me a mirror.