One Boy's Journey Chapter 37

Written by Brianna Demonet

I woke up just before 6 am. I did my routines, put on a swimsuit, and went downstairs to the pool. I started swimming laps in the pool when Bree came outside to join me.

Care for some company? Asked Bree!

I'd love some! I said

I finished 25 laps and Bree was still keeping pace. I swam another 10 Bree was still with me. I kept swimming. My thoughts kept flashing back to my attack, the hospital, and courthouse hearings.

I remember the faces of Tommy and Rick. I think about Mrs Newhouse. I wasn't sure if her words and actions were genuine or if she was just trying to cover her ass. I wanted to believe Mrs Newhouse was genuinely sorry and apologetic.

I found myself forgiving her, her husband and son are going to take more time. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive Bill and Paul. Seeing that video raised new questions for me. Why? Being the biggest one.

I thought of the incident outside the courthouse. It was a lot to process. I started thinking about my Mom and her state of mind through everything.

Everything was going through my head a mile a minute. Then my face caught a little water. I saw Bree swimming beside me. I started thinking about all of the good things that came after my incident.

I thought about Lexi and Emma. I thought about cheerleading with the girls and dancing with Shelly. I thought about John. My life has become far better after my attack. Seeing Bree beside me in the pool reminded me I have friends, family, and two parents.

My mind slowed down as my physical fatigue started setting in. Bree got out one lap before I did.

Ree! Ian cooking breakfast! Said Bree.

I got out, went upstairs, and started a shower. I came down to breakfast in my Mustang sweater, black leggings, and wedge sandals I borrowed from Bree's closet.

Ian made blueberry crepes and bacon. It was delicious. Ian made me tea. Everyone ate at the dinner table.

After breakfast, I sat on the diving board with a cup of tea, meditating. I was outside for almost an hour when Bree came out.

Rianna! Everything alright?

I'm fine! I said.

You look like you are in deep thought! Would you like to talk about it?

I was reflecting again! Sort of an inventory of everything this past year. It sneaks up on me and I can't stop thinking about it. I try to make sense of everything but I really can't. So I try to focus on all the positives for the year.

I know that feeling Ree! More than anyone else in this house. PTSD is a wound just like any other wound. The only difference is it never fully heals. You can't wish it away and you can't stop thinking about it.

Thinking through it is the only thing you can do. You control it by accepting it and recognizing it when it comes at you.

You still deal with PTSD? I asked.

Yes, honey, I do. Not as much as I used to but it comes back from time to time. The guilt of everything is the worst, but you have to accept it wasn't your fault.

I've seen and done things to protect the people around me no person should ever have to do.

I lost my wife and daughters in a tragic car accident. It weighed on me terribly, almost suicidal levels. It took a lot of therapy and love to turn my life around. You'll get there, it just takes time. Said Bree

You're doing all the right things. Just keep it up. Said Bree.

You have a lot of tattoos! I said.

Yes, I do! But these are my most special tattoos.

Brianna rolled up the back of her blouse. I could see her daughter's names with birthdays and RIP dates that were all the same day. The worst part of the accident was that I wasn't with them.

That must have been awful! I'm so sorry! I said

It's okay said, Bree. I'll never forget them. They are always with me.

Just like you, we both have new families and friends. Life goes on, so do we

We have a lot in common young lady.

I guess we do!

Hey, I got a great idea! Said Bree. Would you like to go for a ride?

In the Camaro? I asked

Of course! Said Bree.

Then we'll take a spin in the Chevelle!

I turned around and Ian was behind me.

Nothing better than a little road therapy, said Bree smiling.

I'll second that! Said, Ian

Moments later we were in the Camaro. Bree started it up. It was a deep thunderous sound. The car was burbling at idle as Bree pulled it out. Bree let it warm up.

As the car warmed up I took the opportunity to touch up my makeup.

We started and Bree took us down some roads with little traffic. Bree was an expert driver, just like Aunt V and Terri. We drove the Pacific Coast Highway for a few miles. The view was as picturesque as the vineyard.

We got back and Ian was ready and waiting. Caitlin was in the back seat.

Hi Ree! She said with her heartwarming smile.

Hey, kitten! I said.

Ian took us on some two-lane roads in the hills. It was a beautiful drive. I said nothing; I loved the feeling of the car's power and the sound.

We returned and Cathy and Caleb were waiting for us.

You need to get changed, little sister!

For what? I asked

The pool party! Said Caitlin with enthusiasm. Everyone is coming.

Ree? Would you curl my hair again? Asked Cathy

Absolutely! but I don't have a hair dryer.

Don't worry, Bree has everything we need. We went up to my room (Bree's old room).

Cathy knew where everything was. I started soaking her hair in a setting solution. I used "1/2 spiral rollers and rolled her hair as tightly as I could. Cathy didn't complain, but you could tell she was uncomfortable.

Beauty can be painful! I said.

Don't I know it! Cathy said Rubbing her belly.

Which is one of the reasons Caleb worships you! I said.

Yes, he does! Said Cathy.

I hope I find love like that someday, I said.

You will, sweetheart, you're a catch, Rianna! Don't let anyone tell you differently! Said Cathy. Love finds you when you least expect it.

I've seen Caleb around a few times. I always saw the macho, over-confident boy he was. We never really met or talked to each other.

The day he held Caitlin for the first time, I saw the man I fell in love with. From that moment on It's pure love for us both. His macho side is still there but it's a protective macho. We've never raised our voices to each other once.

I hope I find that! I said.

You will, in time. You will find the right person, man or woman. They will show up when you least expect it. Said Cathy.

Your John seems like a nice man. Said Cathy.

I know! He is, wonderful, loving, brave, protective, and very romantic. I love him. I really do. I just worry about it after high school. He is almost 17 and I'm only 14.

Rianna! You don't need to worry about that. Not ever! Most high school romances never last except the good ones! And the ones that were great in high school always have a good chance to rekindle later in life.

You're young, pretty, intelligent, and very sweet! Any man would be lucky to have you! But very few will be worthy of you. Remember that! Men are fun, but many of them are stupid too!

You both have another full year of school together. Maybe you break up maybe you don't. Only time will tell.

But what if he wants something I can't give him? I asked. I can tell he wants me. But if we do anything we could both wind up in a lot of trouble! I said.

Can I tell you a secret? Asked Cathy.

Sure! Always! I said

I made Caleb wait 3 months before we had sex for the first time. 3 months later we were engaged! A good man will wait for the woman he loves. That's how I knew Caleb loved me. He never pressured me, not once. Sure we fooled around a bit. If I said stop, he stopped.

If your Johnny is anything like Caleb it will be the same for you. You're young; concentrate on your own goals and allow him to pursue his goals. If things are right you'll find a way! Trust me! Said Cathy.

I don't know, Cathy; I hear a lot of things in school about boys and girls doing it all the time, especially the Juniors and Seniors in high school.

80% of what you hear is exaggerated or a lie! Just stay true to yourself. You have your whole life to have sex.

Sometimes I feel like it's wrong to be with a boy, mostly because I used to be a boy! I said.

Ree, darling look in the mirror! What do you see?

Me!

Look closer! Ree what do you see?

I see you and me. My big sister and my role model!

You're still missing it!

Cathy your speaking in riddles! I said.

You're not looking closely enough, Rianna.

Look again look harder, and deeper. Look at yourself! What do you see?

Just me, and you!

Sweetheart, I hate to keep badgering you but look at yourself closely. What do you see?

I see me, Rianna!

Exactly! You see Rianna! A beautiful young woman.

Do you see Ryan?

No not in a long time. I said

You're a girl, a total girl. You're as much a woman as I am. Ryan is gone, he's dead. You are a girl now, and a good daughter and person. Said a reassuring Cathy.

Let Ryan go, be who you are! You are Rianna forever. I'm proud of the person you are. You are family to me and my family; you're my little sister as far as I'm concerned.

To tell you the truth, I think you have always been a girl in your heart. From the day we met up to today, I've never seen anything but Rianna. I'm so proud of everything you accomplished in the past year. We all are. Everyone adores you.

Thanks, Cathy! I love you!

I love you too. Said Cathy as she kissed my cheek.

Done! I said as I finished her rollers.

I sat Cathy under the hairdryer for 45 minutes.

I started searching in Brianna's drawers for a bikini. I found a yellow and white poke-a-dot thong bikini. It was much racier than I was used to wearing, but it's the only one that fits.

I found some 6" wedge heel sandals that fit and semi-sheer white wrap. My curls were almost flat so I put my hair in boxer Braids. I put on my false eyelashes and did a slightly heavy cat-eye eyeliner with bright pink lipstick.

I was modeling myself in the mirror when Becky came in.

What's taking so long? Becky asked.

That's adorable on you! I love you in braids!

I curtsied, thank you.

Double naval piercing, I love it, it's just like mine! Said Becky.

Becky is a gorgeous woman. I never asked her age, but I figured she had to be in her forties. She looked about thirty with the body of a 25-year-old girl.

I know you are too young for a thong bikini, but you certainly have the body for it, Ree! Said Becky.

My apologies but it's all I find that fits!

It's alright it's just family today, said Becky.

Thank you I said smiling.

I loved the way Becky smiled at me. It was a reassuring smile like my Mom and Cathy had. It made me feel confident.

How long will you two be? Asked Becky.

About 30 minutes. Sounds good everyone should be here by that time. Said Becky. She turned and left.

Caleb came in a minute later.

Where's my girl? Asked Caleb.

I pointed to the bathroom.

Rollers again? Asked Caleb

Yes, but the good news is she won't be sleeping in them. I said.

Thank gosh! Caleb said with a chuckle.

Go get out, we have work to do. I said

I checked her hair at the 30-minute mark, and it was still a bit damp. I ended up going the full 45 minutes. I started taking out the rollers, and the curls looked like 1-inch springs. Her thick raven black hair took the curls well this time.

Their beautiful Ree! Thanks, little sis!

You're welcome, big sis!

I helped Cathy get into her maternity bathing suit. It was black with a ruffle skirt. Cathy wore flat sandals. Cathy looked beautiful. Cathy's face glowed even without makeup she was beautiful.

I look so fat! Said Cathy.

Your beautiful Cathy. I said. Truth be told, I'm jealous! I said.

Why are you jealous? Because I will never be able to give birth.

Sweetheart! Not every woman can give birth. That doesn't mean you can't be a wife and mother.

I know I was kinda upset about you being pregnant at first, but I talked with Aunt V, my Mom, and Bree. My therapist and I went over the subject. I'm better about it now. I've always been happy for you. It was me that had trouble with the thought of it all.
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Ree, trust me when I say things will work out for you! You're one of the strongest people I know. You'll see it in time. Come on let's get going. I'm getting thirsty!

We walked downstairs together. I heard multiple voices downstairs. I could see a dozen people or more outside. I opened the French door and let Cathy walk through first, I was right behind her

Cathy was greeted warmly by everyone there. Caleb came over and walked her to a chase lounge. I walked beside them.

Brianna introduced me to everyone. Rianna Stevens, I would like you to Judy and her husband, Rick. This is Alexis and her husband Keith. You know Sharon, and this is her wife, Mary.

And is Doctor Charles and his girlfriend Doctor Sophia... Channel! I interrupted. Sorry Bree

It's okay sweetie. You've met? Asked Bree.

Yes, ma'am, Doctor Channel consulted with my doctor for my final after-surgery consultation.

Nice to see you again Rianna. You look amazing I see you are taking good care of yourself.

Thank you, doctor! I said

Call me Sophia, Rianna.

Please call me Ree!

So I hear you want to become a lawyer, Sophia asked.

Yes ma'am.

Well, you're in very good company. We are all family here.

Thank you, Sophia.

I was a little intimidated by so many new people. But everyone was just like family. I was starting to relax and enjoy everyone's company.

The ladies kinda separated from the men for a little bit. I was invited to join them. The conversation was about men, clothes, and shoes. They talked a lot about Cathy's baby. All the women thought it was going to be a girl. Cathy and I knew differently, I didn't say a word.

So Rianna, tell us about yourself said Mary.

Mary was very charming and beautiful. But compared to the other women there Mary was in supreme Physical Shape. It was almost intimidating but she had a genuine smile and personality that said otherwise.

I looked at Cathy with a questioning look before answering. We're all family here; if you want to share your story unedited, everyone will listen, said Cathy.

Yes you are family now said Becky. We didn't say anything to anyone. That's for you to share sweetheart.

Okay then, it's a long story! I said.

I like long stories! said Mary with a smile.

So do I, say Sharon!

I ran through the scenario, including the hospital with the male nurse and the run-in with the girls at the store after my surgery.

I talked about Aunt V, and how supportive she's been. I told them about the impression Cathy made on me. I talked about the vineyard, John, cheerleading, the diner incident, ballet, and Christmas.

I told them about Ohio and Mom and Mr Milford getting married. Me getting adopted.

I let Cathy tell them about the courthouse fiasco!

Sounds like an adventurous year said Mary. You know you're extremely fit for someone so young. What's your secret? Mary Asked.

Swimming, ballet, gymnastics, and Hap-ki-do!

That's quite a regiment of activities. It helps with my PTSD and anxiety issues, I hate drugs. All I take is my hormone therapy. I said.

What do you eat for a diet? Mary asked.

Salads, mostly, but after hard workouts, I love carbs. Chicken Alfredo is my go-to food. I said.

Well, it's working for you, girlfriend! Mary said smiling.

You know Mary you look very fit yourself. You look like those body-sculpted women I see competing on ESPN! Sharon looks very similar also.

I used to compete years ago, but I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be, so I became a nurse. The muscles come in handy, I'm a nurse practitioner and an in-house fitness instructor.

That's impressive! I said.

I have a question for you ladies.

Go on, shoot! I turned my head and Terri was behind me with Steve. I hugged her tightly!

Your question? Becky asked.

Do any of you ladies know Kathryn Bigelow?

Cathy stared at me for a split second!

See Becky! She's an attorney already asking a question she already has the answer to!

Yes, we do! Becky said we all do! The question is how do you know her?

Mom, Dad, and I met her at Meadows Mall in Vegas while getting coffee.

Really! Said Brianna.

She told me to call her if I was in San Francisco. But this trip was so short and sudden that I didn't think about it until now.

Well, next time you come to town, I'll call her and see if she has some free time. Said Becky.

Next time you come, we would love to meet this boy, John said Bree.

Rianna how are you adjusting to transition being so young? Asked Sharon.

It was a bit rough at first. My Mom, Aunt Vanessa, and My big sister Cathy have been extremely supportive from the very beginning. My Aunt Vanessa has been a godsend, and our housekeeper Martina has been very helpful as well.

I've been very fortunate to have such great support from so many people.

Sharon, you are very beautiful; how are you adjusting? I asked

It's been a few years since I transitioned. Like you, I was very fortunate to have the support of everyone around us. My wife Mary is the love of my life and my rock!

Mary smiled and kissed Sharon.

The girls were playing in the pool with Caleb and Steve. Charles, Ian, and Rick tended to the grill. Bree and Sharon served drinks.

Cathy started getting tired so I walked her to the parlor to lay down for a quick nap. I felt her belly kick again. It was so magical feeling her baby kicking inside her.

I closed the door to the parlor. Have you decided on a name? I asked.

Not sure yet, but we might use the name Ryan if it's okay with you, lil' sis.

I hugged her tightly. Of course, it's okay! I'd be honored, big sis!

I'll get you when it's time to eat, I said.

Thank Ree!

I went back outside and Caleb switched roles with Ian in the pool.

It was a joyful afternoon, everyone was warm and welcoming. It was the perfect afternoon.

I woke Cathy up as we sat down for dinner. I waited until the last minute to wake her up. She was close to 7 months pregnant, so I figured a little extra sleep wouldn't hurt.

James was such a good boy. Hardly a cry or complaint. He had so many people attending to him. Sharon had a way with him. She had a real motherly instinct.

I felt a real comfort knowing I wasn't the only transgender person there. I was only ever treated as a girl. I was very proud to know everyone here.

The ribs were delicious, I ate too much. The corn-on-the-cob was a real treat. Charles made a Cole Slaw that was to die for!

Who knew a neurosurgeon could cook? His mother won several awards for her Cole Slaw!

The day wound down and we said our goodbyes. I went upstairs and started cleaning up and packing for my flight home.

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