Rachel's Demons 2

Author’s Note: Okay… this is a short mess. It’s kinda spicy, kinda random. As with the first Rachel’s Demons, there are themes of religious trauma and misguided thinking. I’m not setting out to condemn or preach against any particular set of beliefs. I’m writing about a character raised in a specific background who has twisted those beliefs as she struggles through her experiences. This is one part spice, one part easter egg, one part deleted scene (from Harem House Chapter 33), and one part prequel to a conversation I have planned for HH Chapter 37. I hope you enjoy this further exploration of Rachel’s demons and her unique brand of lust. 

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Rachel sat on her bed in her dorm room, doing her best not to stare at her roommate’s bed. 

Mindy and her mother had just left after a tearful conversation. She’d waited outside in the hallway to give them privacy, but they hadn’t needed much space. There’d been no yelling, screaming, or spanking as Rachel expected. Her parents would have been explosively angry if they’d found out she was dating a guy they didn’t know about, was having sex with women too, thought she was bisexual, and had a stash of porn comics she’d clearly sketched herself. Her ass would be so red she wouldn’t sit for a month. 

Granted, she was eighteen now. She wasn’t a child anymore, but she was still under her father’s authority and his responsibility until she met a nice Christian man to marry. He wasn’t an overly strict or unkind man. In fact, he was one of the kindest people she knew. The kind of man anyone could respect, and many did. He hadn’t spanked her since she was a much younger kid, and she’d deserved it. Her parents joked about it more than acted on it, but she was a good person and would never do what Mindy did to earn such a punishment. 

Rachel didn’t understand why Mindy’s mother had been so easy on her. She hadn’t listened in, though she wanted to. That would have invaded Mindy’s mother’s privacy, and they had half their conversations in Korean anyway. Rachel didn’t speak Korean. She’d thought about learning, but everything she looked up said Korean was one of the harder languages to learn. It made sense. From what she understood, most Asian languages were difficult for English speakers. 

She’d been surprised when they left in a hurry and slipped into the suite after they left. Now, she sat in her room, processing. 

Rachel huffed, annoyed at the world and herself. She hadn’t wanted Mindy to get in trouble. Not really. She’d wanted to help Mindy get back on the right path. A path that didn’t involve sinful sexualities or depraved boyfriends who treated her like a whore. Arthur had actually called her a whore. She’d overheard them in the dormitory showers, having relations. 

The memory made her body warm, and she dropped the thought like a hot coal, flinching away from it. She couldn’t think of that incubus without falling under his spell. He was the worst. 

Mindy didn’t seem to understand that, and wherever she and her mother had gone, they hadn’t thought to tell Rachel. They’d even left Mindy’s lewd sketchbooks on the table in the suite’s common room. What if Bella or Sarah walked in and saw them? They could have fallen under Arthur’s spell or fallen to lust themselves. Didn’t Mindy care about other people the way Rachel did? 

Rachel could hardly stand the thought of touching the sketches, but she’d moved them to Mindy’s bed. She left them on top, not returning them to their place under her bed. She shouldn’t hide them. She should destroy them. Rachel seriously considered throwing them away, but what if someone else found them? No, that wouldn’t do. She should burn them, but that wasn’t something she could do in the dorms. 

She’d talk to Mindy about it later. Maybe they could burn them together, and Mindy could realize how bad they were for her. They could keep each other accountable for their sexual thoughts. She’d be there for Mindy, knowing Mindy would do the same for her if she needed it. They might be different denominations, but they were the same faith. That was what mattered. 

Rachel glanced at the black sketchbooks again, turning her face away. She shifted in her spot on the bed, turning her back to them. 

Mindy was a talented artist, judging by her sketches. She had a certain style that Rachel assumed was Korean. It looked like anime, in a way, but was different enough to be distinct. That wasn’t the only art style Mindy used. She’d had some drawings in there that looked scarily realistic. She had to have gotten the scale of Arthur’s dick wrong, though, and taken some artistic liberties with his muscles. Her nude sketches of the hot senior were very complimentary. Confusingly so. 

Rachel still couldn’t believe what had happened the other day. Listening to the three of them in the shower. It messed with her head. She’d caught glimpses but not seen his entire body or dick. Most of her witnessing of the event had been auditory, not visual, which was less sinful. Right? It had to be.

She hadn’t been able to get the sounds out of her head since. The feelings of lust still swirled in her body, even after she’d tried to seek sinful relief from them. Such relief was only temporary. The masturbation she knew was wrong let her release her lust, sure, but it returned twice as strong the next day and the next, demanding she repeat the depraved ritual. Coupled with the guilt she felt over having succumbed to the temptation, it became more unbearable each time. Every time she looked at her reflection, she grew more disgusted with herself, but God forgave her. He was there for her, even when she wasn’t strong enough to obey. 

She’d resolved not to give in to her urges anymore. She’d prayed, meditated, read scripture, and done everything she could to scrub Arthur from her mind. The more she did to distance herself from those thoughts, the harder they pursued her. They often popped up when she least expected them, turning her mind to lustful thoughts and stirring her body with sinful desires. 

“I’m damned.” Rachel said, talking to herself again. “Why can’t I stop thinking about him?” 

Homework was no help. She’d focus, immerse herself in whatever subject she needed to study, and the moment boredom or disinterest struck, the naked sketch of Arthur would appear in her memory. Her body always had a visceral reaction to it. 

She swung her legs over the bed and hopped off it. She straightened her calf-length skirt after she stood, brushing her lap. She walked to Mindy’s bed and hesitated at the foot of it. She might not be able to destroy the entire sketchbook, but she could burn a page or two without causing any issues, right? A single piece of paper in a trashcan somewhere outside wouldn’t cause any problems. She’d bring a water bottle just in case. 

She darted forward, opening the book she’d opened before and turning to the page she’d thought of so frequently. 

A sketch of Arthur, nude, standing in a “Captain Morgan” pose, with one leg raised and set on a stone, met her eyes. Between his legs, an erect penis stood ready for the black-haired nude girl on her knees before him. Her back was to the artist, and Rachel knew it was probably supposed to be Mindy, but the hips and butt didn’t match Mindy’s. The hips were curvier, and the butt was higher, like a peach.

The hair was the only distinguishing feature, and the same style as Rachel’s. Had Mindy drawn her kneeling before Arthur? No. She didn't know about Rachel’s unhealthy fascination with the incubus. That, however, was about to change. She only had to burn the page and free herself from its spell, Mindy would notice, but there was no helping that. 

She tore it from the book and crumpled the page in her fist. Slamming the book closed, she stormed from the room, ignoring the surprised expressions of Bella and Sarah’s faces. They were on the sofa, watching TV as they did their homework. 

Rachel ignored both of them as she swept through the common room, breezing into the hallway and following it outside. By early evening, most people were headed toward the dining hall. She was hungry but needed to get rid of these other feelings first. 

Where was the best place to burn something? Probably the river. It curved around the edge of campus, bordered by the park that followed the river. There had to be campfire spots in the woods where people had been camping, right? 

Rachel checked her purse and followed the sidewalk to a path that let her dip between the trees. The dirt path wound through the trees until Rachel could no longer see the campus buildings. The woods were peaceful, and the sound of the moving water from the river met her as she marched through. Maybe burning the page wasn’t necessary. She could throw it in the river. Yeah, that would work. 

She made it to the water and pulled the fist-sized sketch paper from her purse. Her long skirt, tights, boots, and long sweater were perfect for the fall weather. She tore her eyes from the paper and readied herself to throw the balled-up page into the river. She hesitated. Wasn’t that littering? 

No. Right? 

Rachel frowned. What if she threw it into the river and someone recovered it somehow? It’s not like she’d throw it very far, and it might wash ashore. It was causing someone else to stumble all over again. Perhaps burning it was best. She sighed in frustration, smoothing out some of the page. 

“Please.” She said, looking at Arthur’s face as she partially unwrinkled the page. “Please just… get out of my head.” 

She knew she was crazy. This wasn’t Arthur’s doing. He wasn’t really devil-born or an incubus. He had no magic powers. He didn’t put himself in her head with a magic spell, even if witchcraft was real. He wasn’t a wiccan. She had to master her thoughts like they taught the boys at church. Though, to be fair, she supposed that if she could cause men to stumble if she left her body uncovered, it made sense that Arthur could make her stumble, too. 

Not that women suffered from lust the same way men did. They were animals; they couldn’t help it, but women were better than that. Sex and lust didn’t consume them the way it did with men. That was what made her feelings so confusing. Why was she reacting to Arthur like a guy responded to literally any woman? What made Arthur different from any of the other guys she’d seen on campus? None of them plagued her thoughts. Only Arthur, with his sharp jaw, handsome features, calm manners, broad shoulders, impressive muscles, and thick–hair. 

Rachel bit her bottom lip, almost crying at where her thoughts led her. She couldn’t keep doing this. She was a good person. Whose fault it was didn’t matter. She had to stop lusting after this man. He was immoral. The worst of the worst. Not only did he seduce multiple young women, but he had his way with them. He’d treated Mindy and Selene like total whores, even as they begged for more and more depraved acts. He’d converted them into Jezebels.

Rachel couldn’t imagine kissing another girl. 

Well, she could, but would she do it in front of Arthur for his benefit? No. That was gross. Still, even as she imagined kissing Mindy with Arthur watching them, commanding it, her body had a mind of its own. Its reaction was far from disgust, even as the warmth flushing through her disgusted her on an intellectual level. 

Arthur was the problem. He corrupted Mindy, and now his corruption was working its way into Rachel’s mind and body through her and her sketches. She was losing control, losing her fight against lust, and it was all that man’s fault. 

Rachel set her jaw. What was the opposite of corruption? Salvation. If Arthur could corrupt Mindy and Selene, what was the opposite of that? What was the best way to get rid of the Arthur Clarke problem? To rid the campus of his corrupting influence? 

Simple: She had to save him. 

Again, Rachel crumpled the page in her hand, clenching her fist in determination. She would save him. But how? There had to be a way to get to him. She’d have to talk with him, obviously, debate, which would not be easy. He was good at twisting words and making himself seem right when he reasoned out his points, even when he was wrong. 

The first step would be to befriend him, to come at him from an indirect angle, and let the conversations happen subtly when she could influence his opinions without seeming like she was fighting him. She wasn’t sure if it would work, but it was worth a shot, right? She’d have to prepare either way; that meant researching and practicing her words in the mirror. It’d be just like stepping onto the debate stage. She had trophies proving she could do that. 

Maybe, if she was good enough at saving him, he’d become the kind of man who’d repent of his former whoremongering ways and realize he needed a good Christian woman in his life. Someone like Rachel could be there to guide him but still submit to him in the ways he needed. It wouldn’t be sinful to submit to his sexual proclivities once they were married, and with someone like her meeting his needs, he wouldn’t need to be with any other women. 

Rachel shook herself free of those thoughts. Her plan couldn’t be that self-serving. Saving Arthur was the point. What happened after that was in God’s hands. She wasn’t trying to steal Mindy’s boyfriend. Not that he was really her boyfriend, anyway. Her parents hadn’t approved, and she was one of his many girlfriends. She obviously meant nothing to him. He needed a real woman to show him what true love was. The kind of love that didn’t need a ton of partners to feel complete. 

A noise cut through her thoughts, making her turn her head to the side to see what made it. It’d been kind of a -schlorp- noise? Was it a fish in the river? 

Peering out of the water, she didn’t notice any ripples or breaks that might have suggested a fish had surfaced. She hesitated, standing absolutely still and straining her ears to hear it. 

-schlorp- 

There it was again. Rachel turned, looking for it. 

-schlorp- 

She walked toward it, stepping softly and quietly without breaking twigs or crushing leaves under her heeled boots. Her eyes wandered the riverbank, searching out the source of the noise and stopping when they found it. She paused by the water’s edge, staring ahead at a man sitting at a bench overlooking the water from a small outcropping a dozen feet above the water. Kneeling between his legs, facing him, a girl with her hair covering her face bobbed her head up and down in his lap. 

Rachel gasped. 

It wasn’t Arthur or anyone she knew, but they were clearly students from the university. She’d seen the guy around campus before, one of the jocks. She didn’t know which sport. She didn’t really follow them. He had a backward baseball cap on, but lots of guys wore those. He had a button-down shirt on, open to reveal a gray University t-shirt beneath it. His blue jeans and hiking shoes weren’t any more distinguishing. 

The girl wore a gray cardigan sweater that covered her curvy figure. Beneath it, her black clothes hugged her figure, showing off an impressive pair of breasts roughly the size of Mindy’s and Rachel’s. She wasn’t Mindy, though. Her dark hair matched, sure, but not her ethnicity. She brushed her hair back and looked up at the man as she sucked his dick, making eye contact with him.

Rachel’s eyes flew wide, and she spun suddenly, hiding behind a large tree with her back to the couple. If either of them heard her, they didn’t mention it. 

“Are you sure you want to do this here?” The man asked. “I know you like risky spots, but what if someone sees us? I don’t want to get arrested for indecent exposure.” 

“No one’s going to see us.” The girl assured him. “The path doesn’t come here. If you don’t make me answer stupid questions, they’ll have no grounds for indecent exposure. Your dick will be in my mouth, not flopping around smacking me in the face.” She seized his dick, which had just struck her cheek. “And so what if someone sees? They’ll get a show if they want to watch, or they’ll leave if they don’t. We’re not forcing them.” 

“If you’re sure…” 

“Seb, are you saying no to a blowjob right now?” The girl asked. 

“You’re right. I’ll shut up.” The guy, Seb, said. “By all means, continue.” 

Rachel risked a glance around the tree trunk and noticed the man had spread his arms over the back of the bench. Meanwhile, the girl continued sucking his dick, bobbing her head up and down on his lap. 

Rachel swallowed, watching even as she knew she shouldn’t. But they’d said they were fine with an audience, and something in her wanted her to see this. Maybe God was showing her something that could help her win Arthur. 

As a man, he had needs, obviously. And while sex was off the table, oral was a gray area, right? It wasn’t really sex. Maybe it didn’t count and would be enough for Arthur until they could get married. Not that she was going to steal Mindy’s boyfriend. No. She was going to save him. Whatever happened after that was up to God. 

“God damn, Jill, you keep doing that with your tongue, and I’m going to lose it.” Seb said, straining his voice as he clenched his jaw. 

The girl, Jill, laughed. She paused the blowjob. “I want you to lose it, duh. That’s the point of this.” 

The guy laughed, joining her. “You sure you don’t want something more reciprocal?” 

The girl bit her lip, looking up at the guy with a sparkle in her eyes. She stood and pulled her pants down. She put her legs together and kept his legs apart as she turned around and sank slowly onto his lap. 

Rachel couldn’t believe the brazenness. Was everyone on this campus obsessed with sex? Did none of them care about waiting until marriage? The girl had an engagement ring on, but an engagement ring wasn’t a wedding ring! 

The girl bounced in his lap, riding him as he moved his hands to her hips. “Better?” She asked. 

“The best.” The guy answered. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Seb said. 

The warmth in Rachel’s body spread over her, and she hid behind the tree again, her back to the scene as she listened to the two lovebirds on the bench. Quick breathing punctuated the noises they made, but the woman’s breathing turned heavier, and the man’s baritone grunts did something to Rachel. 

The lust built in her again, and she imagined it was her and Arthur in that situation. Married, of course, because if she was using her imagination, she might as well keep things proper. Married love could be adventurous and thrilling, like the couple on the bench. 

Rachel lifted her skirt. The leggings she wore under it were solid, but it was easier to reach under them without also having to go under the tight skirt waistband. She plunged her hand in, sliding under the plain cotton panties and finding herself hot and wet, already stimulated at the thought of Arthur. She stood there with her feet apart, listening to them fuck, and stared at the sketch in her free hand. 

She shook the paper out in her lap, unwrinkling it. Rachel stared at Arthur as she rubbed herself, listening to the sounds of fucking, imagining herself in that girl’s place, bouncing on Arthur’s lap like a good and faithful wife. Her love bloomed at the thought, and her fingers worked faster, finding her bud and rubbing rather than fingering herself. It was less sinful if she didn’t enter herself, or so she reasoned. 

She rubbed tiny circles with her flat fingertips pressed firmly against her clit. Her eyes fluttered closed, but she kept them open, keeping eye contact with the drawing of Arthur she held. She’d come here to destroy it, to rid herself of these thoughts, but she wasn’t strong enough. Escape was impossible. But that made sense if this was love and not lust, right?

As sinful as he was, he wasn’t worthy of love, but neither was she. No one was. That was the point of forgiveness and redemption. She was unworthy of love, too. She knew firsthand how unlovable she was. Would Arthur love her? He might. 

Admittedly, she didn’t know much about him as a person. But she was sure they could find something in common. He liked philosophy, even if he came to the wrong conclusions. He seemed to enjoy debating her. He was an intellectual like her. They could have conversations and actual dialogue and not resort to their base instincts. At least, not all the time. Not like him and Mindy, who had obviously fumbled her chance of redeeming Arthur. But then again, Mindy was a bit of an airhead. 

Mindy would have to see that breaking up with Arthur was the best thing for him. For her, too. For everyone. The two of them breaking up and Arthur dissolving his harem of ‘girlfriends’ was for the best. She’d save him yet and get her reward when she did. She’d marry the hot, older guy at a big church wedding with all their friends and family, and Mindy would see it was for the best. She’d be a bridesmaid. 

Then, on their wedding night, Rachel would surrender herself to her husband and submit to him as a wife should. She’d kneel and do the things she knew he liked. She’d let him destroy her with that massive cock of his, and she’d reward him for his restraint. Together, they’d ascend to the divine, knowing each other in every sense of the word. 

Rachel shivered as the lust in her released at the thought of Arthur taking her on their wedding night. Her body seized as her legs clamped together, trapping her hand. She swallowed a groan that wanted to escape her lips, making no noise to alert the couple behind her to her presence. Their sounds were still going, but Rachel had seen enough. She pulled her hand out of her panties and wiped her fingers on her leggings. She fixed her skirt, brushing her behind and front to ensure nothing was stuck or caught where it wasn’t supposed to be. She checked her purse, straightened her spine, and crept from the forest as quietly as she could. 

Only when she reached its edge did she realize the drawing wasn’t in her hand or her purse. She’d dropped it or left it somewhere. When had she had it last? One hand in her leggings, and one holding it. She’d used both hands to straighten her skirt. She must have set it down or dropped it in the foggy haze of pleasure that overtook her after she released the lust. She turned to retrace her steps, but what if the couple was still there? And it was getting dark. It wasn’t safe for a girl like her to be alone in the forest in the dark. 

No, she’d go back for it later. 

Or… 

Maybe this was for the best. Fate, no, God had taken her obsession from her, and there was nothing she could do to pursue it. She’d entered the forest to destroy the source of her lust, and when she hadn’t been strong enough to do so, she’d ‘accidentally’ lost what she’d meant to destroy. He’d freed her from the lust in her heart and given her His approval for her plan. 

Just wait. She’d save Arthur from his debauchery, and once she did, the future was theirs for the taking. 

It never occurred to her that she might be misguided. After all, how could she go wrong by following her heart and the calling she felt placed upon it? Arthur might resist at first, but this would go well. She knew it. She had faith.