Arthur & Lori: First Valentine's
Added 2025-02-12 13:00:13 +0000 UTCAuthor’s Note: Happy early Valentine’s Day! I h
Comments
Deb is a gem, really good with his girlfriends. The threesome was a major surprise but wonderful fun.
Neil Smith
2025-04-24 07:33:08 +0000 UTCI went ahead and edited that section, to try and make it more clear as to what was happening. Thanks for pointing it out!
S. E. Aeghann
2025-02-13 22:54:15 +0000 UTCThat sort of covered their previous positioning before he ordered them onto their backs, and we saw Lori’s frustration when he swapped away from her. So yes, would be good (and logical) if we hear how she feels when he swaps over to Olivia. Given that, at that point in the narrative, she’s basically thinking how great he is, I guess her thoughts don’t have to be negative.
saffy
2025-02-13 17:33:31 +0000 UTC"Meanwhile, Arthur alternated fingering and fucking them and spanking Lori." Was intended to explain that he was swapping between the two of them at a steady pace. I could probably make an edit to make that more clear though. I tried to make it appear as abrupt and frustrating from Lori's perspective because she never knows when he's going to change partners.
S. E. Aeghann
2025-02-13 15:36:43 +0000 UTCIs there a line missing where Arthur swaps partners? One moment he's with Lori ("Arthur stepped between Lori’s legs first"), he's still with her a couple of paragraphs later ("Lori rubbed herself with one hand, groped her breasts with another, and watched Arthur’s face as he plowed into her"), but, a couple of paragraphs after that, Arthur is unexpectedly finishing with Olivia ("She came before he did") and Arthur is getting back with Lori ("He entered Lori").
saffy
2025-02-13 15:24:31 +0000 UTC
