The Babysitter Beta Part 07

Saturday night ended with me narrowly avoiding a panic attack. Amanda left about an hour later after more pizza. She didn’t drink any more whiskey, and neither did I. I couldn’t look at the bottle without feeling guilty. 

I walked her home to ensure she could make it from my gate to hers. She kissed me at the gate, which I wasn’t expecting, but no one saw us. I hoped no one did. 

I went into my house, showered, and passed out on my bed. I woke up on Sunday and went about the day as normally as I could. I texted Penny, but she was busy and said she couldn’t talk, so we'd talk on Monday unless it was an emergency. 

I said okay and did my best not to be annoyed about this Rowan guy taking her away from me. It was good she was hanging out with a guy her own age. We couldn’t fuck after I fucked her mom, that was for sure, so maybe it was a non-issue now. She’d come back from her wild weekend with a new boyfriend, and whatever we had going would end. That was a good thing. 

I told myself that for hours on Sunday, but by Monday, I didn’t believe it any more than I had on Saturday night. 

“Good morning, Mister Castillo!” Penny’s familiar call from my front door came as she let herself in. Abby and I were in the kitchen, and she cooed and giggled at Penny’s impending entrance to let her know we were in our usual spot. 

“Did you have a good weekend?” She asked, her voice bubbly as she bounced into the kitchen. 

“Yah!” Abby answered for me. 

I smiled as Penny bee-lined for the toddler and pulled her from the high chair to hug and say hello. She stood with Abby on her hip and looked at me as I stood at the stove. “And you, Mister Castillo?” 

“Yeah… it was…  good.” I said, not willing to look her in the eye. “We uh… need to talk.” 

“Yeah, sorry I wasn’t around this weekend, but it was crazy. Do you want to talk now or later?” Penny asked. I knew what later was code for, but given the conversation, later was best. Abby didn’t need to overhear any of it, even if that meant she woke up from her naptime to find out her nanny had quit, slapped me in the face, and stormed out. That was my best-case scenario. 

“Later.” I said. “When she’s down for her N-A-P.” 

“No nap!” Abby said sharply. 

I rolled my eyes. “Sorry.” I said. Abby might not know how to spell, but I spelled it often enough she had started correlating N-A-P to naptime. 

Penny giggled. “It’s okay, Mister C. She’s too smart for my own good.” She winked. “Come on, Abby, let’s go play!” 

“Yeah!” Abby agreed readily, and she and Penny left me to clean up in the kitchen. I didn’t mind. I cleaned and ascended the stairs to my office for the day. 

I had a series of missed messages on Teams when I opened it, all from Lana. I blinked. Shit. I hadn’t realized she’d been messaging me all weekend. The first one was from Saturday mid-morning. 

Svetlana: Hey, I’m not sure if you check this on the weekend or if they monitor these messages, but uh… call me when you can? I realized I don’t have your personal number. Mine is ###-###-####. 

Svetlana: Okay, I realize you probably don’t check these on the weekend, but if you do, please just let me know you’re okay and you’re not like… spiraling about anything? 

Svetlana: If you’re worried, don’t be. I have them. 

Svetlana: I thought about dropping them off but don’t have your address. 

Svetlana: It feels weird asking Becks for your address… are you okay if I fill her in? 

Svetlana: Just call me when you see these, I guess. 

Svetlana: Anne says hi. 

Some of the messages confused me, but I chuckled and pulled out my cell phone. I added Lana’s number to my contacts list and called her after putting in my earpiece. It rang and went to voicemail. 

“This is Lana. Leave a message.” 

I laughed. “Hey, Lana, this is Julio. Sorry about that! I didn’t mean to go radio silent. The weekend went too quickly after I left. I guess you have my number now. Give me a call? Thanks. Bye.” 

I hung up. 

“Thanks, bye?” I asked myself with a sigh as I opened my email. “I’m an idiot.” 

My phone rang thirty seconds later, and it was Svetlana. “Julio! Hi!” 

“Hi!” I said, matching her energy. “I’m sorry I didn’t call on Saturday. The weekend kind of ran away with me.” 

“Oh, no worries. I know Abby keeps you busy unless you pay that nanny for the weekends, too.” Lana laughed. 

“No, I give her the weekends off.” I said, smiling as I sorted my emails. 

“I just didn’t want you to worry. You left it here, and I found it in my room in the morning.” Lana said. 

Confusion dawned. I stopped for a moment and glanced at the book she’d gotten me. It sat on my desk where I’d placed it Saturday. So what did I leave at Lana’s? 

“Uh…” I hesitated. “What did I leave there?” 

“Your wedding rings?” Lana said. “They’re on the necklace chain, but it was on my floor and…” Whatever Lana said after, I missed it. I touched my chest as if not believing the chain was gone. The ringing in my ears grew to a fever pitch as shame and guilt overwhelmed me. I’d lost the necklace with mine and Charlie’s wedding bands on them, and in two days, I hadn’t even noticed? 

Two whole days. I’d just started wearing it, but… I should have noticed, right? Had I honestly not thought about them in two days? I had a lot on my mind with Penny, Lana, Anne, and now Mandy, but I should have realized Charlie’s ring wasn’t around my neck besides mine. 

“Julio?” Lana’s voice cut through the roar in my ears. “Julio, are you there?” 

“Yeah.” I said, my voice tired and exhausted. “Yeah, I’m… Sorry. I’m here. I… I’m sorry. Uh… can I come and pick them up?” 

“Of course.” Lana said. “But it’s really no trouble. Like I said, I’ll be in the area if you want me to drop them off for you.” 

“Oh, uh…” I hesitated. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Lana to know where I lived. I knew the conversation that was coming with Penny, and I had no idea what the fallout would be. I also didn’t have the house ready for visitors, definitely not Lana, and who knew when in Abby’s schedule her visit would be. “It might be better if I just drive over during lunch.” 

“Oh, okay.” Lana said. “Or… would you like to meet for lunch? O’Grady’s does lunch, right?” 

“I can do that.” I said. “Are you sure, though? That’s a hike for you.” 

“I’m sure.” Lana said. “Half day, remember? It’s supposed to be good weather, and I want to visit the garden center.” 

Apparently, I’d missed some important comment during my guilt-driven dissociative episode. I nodded, though I realized she couldn’t see me over the phone. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll meet you there at about twelve-thirty?” 

“Perfect.” Lana said. “Can’t wait! See you soon!” 

“See you…” I said, not matching her enthusiasm, but glad to have sorted the issue. I’d been worried, but now I just felt guilty. I hadn’t even noticed I’d left the rings behind, and I was ashamed to have left them on her bedroom floor. 

I stared at my work computer without accomplishing much other than tabbing between projects for the morning. My lunch alarm sounded on my phone, and I remained logged in for a few minutes extra, taking a late lunch. I explained to Penny that I’d be taking lunch with Lana at O’Grady’s and her smile threw me for a loop. 

She stood in the kitchen feeding Abby lunch, wearing black baggy, pleated floral-print shorts with yellow daisies. Her matching yellow tank top was more modest than what she typically wore, more like a sleeveless shirt than her typical spaghetti strap fare. I tried not to interpret it as her pulling away because she had Rowan now. I hadn’t even met the asshole, and I hated him. 

“Take a nice long lunch, and enjoy. Tell Lana we said hi!” Penny said, spurring Abby to say hi repeatedly until she stuffed her face with food. 

Penny smiled at me and shooed me out of the kitchen. She seemed oblivious to my annoyance and was so happy for me having lunch with Lana that guilt warred with my jealousy the entire ten-minute drive to O’Grady’s. I arrived in a sour mood, wearing my khaki pants and button-down shirt as if I were going into the office. 

Lana was waiting for me when I arrived. Her smile stopped me at the entrance, and my nerves kicked in, which was ridiculous. I shouldn’t be nervous, but I was and swallowed my conflictions as I approached the table. Too many emotions warred within me to make sense of any of them. 

“Hey!” Lana said, rising from her seat to give me a hug. 

I returned the hug, slightly surprised, but I shouldn’t have been. We’d fucked. More than that, we’d done some unconventional shit, and a hug was appropriate for our level of physical intimacy. 

“Hey.” I said. “Were you waiting long?” 

“No, not at all.” Lana said. “I just got here.” She reached into her purse and produced a small necklace box from a jewelry store. “Before I forget.” She passed me the box. 

I took the box and opened it to retrieve the necklace. I put the chain on, rubbed the rings between my fingers, relaxed, and returned the case to her. She took it from me and returned it to her purse. 

“You okay?” Lana asked. 

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly as we sat. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice they were missing.” 

Lana reached for my arm and left her fingers on my hand, which she squeezed. “It’s okay, Julio. You were busy and left from the other room, not mine, so it was natural you missed them.” 

I nodded. 

“Did I scare you away with the threesome?” Lana asked just as the waitress arrived. 

Judgy eyes flicked between us, and I must have turned three shades of red as Lana laughed. 

“I’ll have the turkey club.” Lana said, speaking to the server. “Something about three slices of bread seems appealing.” 

I choked, laughing as the server’s face turned as crimson as mine. 

“I’ll have the same.” I coughed, and the waitress retreated. 

“Poor girl. I’ll leave a big tip.” Lana said, smiling.

“You’re so bad.” I laughed with my hand on my chest as I recovered my breath. 

Lana waggled her eyebrows. “You like it.” She said. “Are you going back to work after lunch?” 

I nodded. “I try not to take any vacation time unless I really need it. I never know when Abby might be sick or need me to take a day off to take care of her if Penny gets sick or can’t come in for some reason.” 

“Penny?” Lana asked. 

“The babysitter.” I said, realizing I might not have told Lana her name before. “Er, nanny, technically.” I said. “I always think of her as the babysitter. She’s the next-door neighbor’s kid home from college for the summer.” 

“She has experience with kids?” Lana asked. 

I nodded. “She’s watched Abby since she was born. She didn’t have a job this summer, so I made it a full-time arrangement. She and her mom have been lifesavers more than once.” 

“That’s good.” Lana said. “I can’t imagine raising a child on my own.” 

I smiled softly. “Yeah. It wasn’t the plan.” 

Lana’s smile faltered, and I felt guilty. She squeezed my hand. I realized she was still holding it and looked down at it, her hand wrapped over mine. I turned my hand, holding hers in return. Her smile returned strong and broad. 

“You look nice today.” I said, defaulting to a compliment, though it was true. 

Lana’s curly hair was extra curly today, shortening her round bob to above her chin. Or maybe she’d had it cut recently? She’d trimmed and painted her nails since our date, and nothing was chipped or out of place. Her summer sundress was between attractive and indecent, not because it showed a particular amount of skin, but because it hugged her body from her waist up. Her bust sat in the front of her chest like a soft shelf in scrunched fabric. The low squared neckline showed her cleavage peeking an inch over the scrunched fabric. 

Spaghetti straps held the dress up while baring her freckled shoulders and arms. The flared skirt ended at her knees but had a satisfying swish to it when she moved and rode up when she sat down and crossed her legs to show off her shapely calves beneath the table. Her sandals showed off her painted toes that matched her fingernails, a sky blue that matched her dress. 

“You look nice too.” Lana said, smiling. “So you only take vacation when Abby or Penny are sick?” She asked, tilting her head. “You never just take a day off for yourself?” 

I shook my head. I had three weeks’ vacation, which worked out to fifteen days. Additionally, I had five days for illness, but if I used any consecutively, I had to pay for a doctor’s appointment to get a note. It meant getting sick with the flu could cost me thirty bucks for no reason, which pissed me off on principle. I could afford it, but it still annoyed me. 

I’d used four vacation days so far, two when Abby had a cold last February and two when she had pink eye last May. Working from home usually provided the flexibility I needed, but when someone needed constant care and attention, I couldn’t work at the same time. 

“What about sick days?” Lana asked. 

“I have all of those.” I shrugged. I’d caught the cold from Abby, but unlike a toddler, I could work through illness. 

“Take half a sick day.” Lana said. “Come hang out with me.” 

It was a tempting offer, but I had to talk to Penny sooner rather than later, and I was planning to be home by naptime, which was coming up after lunch. Abby usually went down between 1 and 1:30 PM and was good for an hour, sometimes more, depending on how exciting a day she’d had. I’d cut into her nap by the time I got home from lunch. 

“I can’t.” I said, shaking my head. 

“Aw.” Lana said, pouting. “Please?” 

I sighed and shook my head. “No, I have to have a conversation with Penny today while Abby’s down for her nap.” 

“Uh oh.” Lana said, raising her eyebrows. “Sounds like you’re going to yell at the babysitter. Is she doing something wrong?” 

“No.” I said, shaking my head. “Just some business matters and scheduling, that kind of thing.” 

“Sounds like that meeting could be an email.” Lana said, laughing. 

I laughed with her, not as genuine as I should have been. “Yeah, maybe.” 

“After?” Lana asked. “When is naptime?” 

“About one-thirty?” I said.

“And how long is naptime?” Lana asked. 

I laughed. “Well, I usually sleep for about two hours, but Abby sleeps anywhere from one to two.” 

Lana laughed. “Oh, you go down for a nap too?” She asked. “I’m jealous. A nice afternoon nap sounds amazing, especially if it was with you.” 

I laughed, half-amazed at how she’d managed to turn discussing schedules into flirting. Then it hit me what spending an afternoon with Lana would mean. Especially if she were free and wanted to return to her place or come to mine. 

“Well, if you change your mind and want to hang out after your meeting with the nanny, call me. You have my number now. We can schedule our third date.” Lana said. 

“Third?” I asked. 

“This is date number two.” Lana said, holding up two fingers. “Bookstore date, lunch date, perhaps next we should do a proper dinner.” 

A proper dinner date. That sounded like a good idea. If things weren’t so complicated. 

“I… I need to sort some things out first.” I said, not sure how else to explain. 

“Oh.” Lana said, withdrawing her hand from mine as she straightened and pressed her back against the chair. She crossed her arms. “What if Anne joins us for dinner? Would you still need to sort things then?” 

The non sequitur confused me. What did Anne have to do with it? How would her joining us for dinner make anything less complicated? Her presence there would only complicate matters even more. 

“Lana…” I said, trying to think of what to say. I wasn’t rejecting her, but she’d clearly taken something I’d said as if I’d spit in her face, and not in a sexy way. 

She didn’t say anything as the server appeared with our sandwiches and two glasses of water. She set everything out and asked if we needed anything. Lana didn’t answer. I told her we were fine, and she retreated. 

“I didn’t mean I needed to sort anything out to want a third date with you.” I explained, having had a brief moment to gather my thoughts. “I want a third date with just you. I have to sort my schedule before I can plan one, though. I have to make sure someone can watch Abby and work late. Anne doesn’t need to come. She has nothing to do with it.” 

Lana looked at me, evaluating my words as she ate a fry off her plate. She seemed mollified. “I’m sorry.” She said. “I didn’t think of that. I just… Would you take a sick day today if I told you Anne would be there?” 

Okay. I saw it now. She was insecure about whether I thought she was part of a package deal with her roommate. I didn’t think of Lana or Anne that way. As far as I knew, Anne was a one-time deal. 

“I’m not interested in a relationship with Anne.” I said, honestly. “From what I understand, she feels the same way. We did a business arrangement for her videos together, which was not part of a romantic relationship like you and I are. And I only did that because you wanted to.” 

Lana hesitated. 

“You and I… did what we did as part of your evaluation of me, right?” I asked. 

Lana frowned. “It sounds cheap when you say it that way.” 

“I’m sorry.” I apologized. “You and I slept together out of romance. Right?” 

Lana nodded. 

“We slept with Anne out of… curiosity?” I said, venturing a guess. “And opportunity.” I shrugged. Lana had been clear she’d wanted to try a threesome. “The opportunity presented itself, so we took it. It wasn’t something we sought out, and it certainly wasn’t a caveat for our being together.” 

Lana nodded, calming at that. 

“My situation is…” I touched the rings on their chain. “Complicated.” I said. “My kid’s schedule dictates my life. Her nanny’s availability dictates my dating life. Plus, I’m a widower. I have baggage. I can’t describe the guilt I felt at not realizing I’d left these at your place.” I paused, staring at the rings. “Charlie was my person. It’s been years, but… sometimes when I wake up, I roll over and expect to have to wake her up or turn off her phone alarm, but it’s mine going off, and she’s not there. She’ll never be there.” 

Lana sniffed, which made me realize my voice had gotten grave and my tone very far away. I hadn’t meant to upset her. I’d been numb when I said it. I’d lived those moments in the morning so frequently they’d lost their painful bite. The pain was fresh to Lana, and her sympathetic nature drove her to feel sorrow that wasn’t hers to feel. 

“Sorry.” I said, sobering. “I… I’m bad at this.” I sighed. 

She reached across the table and took my hand. “It’s okay.” She said. “I understand that things are complicated. Emotions are complicated. Don’t feel guilty, and don’t feel rushed. I want a third date, but I will wait until you are ready to schedule it.” 

“Thank you.” That was only the first point of the five-point explanation I’d prepared for why the situation was complicated, but I took the win. 

We were silent for a while as we ate our sandwiches. Lana seemed mollified, though, so I relaxed as I ate, the filling of my stomach a weight that calmed me. “So… you garden?” I asked. 

Lana smiled and shook her head. “No, but they sell outdoor furniture. I want to buy a porch swing.” 

I nodded. Their porch had been pretty bare, but that wasn’t a surprise, considering they rented the house from someone else. Lunch continued with small talk after that. Lana asked about Abby, and I started bragging about her until we were ready to leave. Lana smiled and didn’t seem to mind. I hoped she thought it was an attractive quality, but I only had the smile behind her eyes to go on. 

“Thank you for meeting me for lunch.” Lana said when we were ready to leave. We split the bill 50-50 since Lana refused to let me pay and had given the waitress cash. “I’m sorry if I pressured you, but I’m glad I was able to return your rings.” 

“Thank you.” I said, touching the necklace again. “I’m glad we were able to have lunch together. I prefer seeing you outside the office.” I said, smiling. “As soon as I sort things out with Penny, we’ll schedule dinner together. Maybe this weekend?” 

“My Sunday is free.” Lana said, smiling. “But you don’t need to schedule a babysitter. I’d love to meet Abby.” 

“So soon?” I asked. 

“That seems like the perfect third date to me.” Lana said. “I’ve heard so much about her that I feel like I know her already. Unless you think it is too soon?” 

I smiled. It was good to know Lana liked children and wanted to meet Abby. That was a good sign. I nodded. “Sunday?” I asked. “You can come to my place. I’ll text you the address. I’ll cook ribs or something on the grill.” 

“That sounds lovely.” Lana said. She stood, which prompted me to rise. I double-checked that I had everything, and she hugged me again, kissing me this time. 

I kissed her, enjoying the kiss too much as her body pressed against mine. If I didn’t have responsibilities at home, like telling Penny I’d fucked her mother, I’d have taken her up on her offer of spending the afternoon together. Then again, it made the temptation to avoid the conversation all the greater. 

“Have fun at work.” Lana said, misinterpreting my dread. 

“Have fun shopping.” I said, shrugging. 

“Oh, I will. It is a beautiful day.” She looked up at the sun as we left the bar and grille’s air conditioning for the heat of the June day. “Maybe I’ll go to the beach later. Lay out in my bikini. A pity I’ll be alone…” 

I sighed. “I want to.” I said. “Maybe another time.” 

Lana pouted but laughed as she patted my hip. “Okay. I’ll hold you to that.” 

I nodded. “If we plan ahead, we can have a hooky day. I’ll take you to the beach, and we can lay out and swim all day long.” 

“That sounds lovely.” Lana kissed me again. “Let me know the day, and I’ll be there in my skimpiest suit.” She winked and walked away to her car. I watched her go. She swished her skirt with her hand, brushing her backside for my benefit, and I regretted not following her.

Still, I didn’t go after her, even as she got into the car and drove away. 

I got back into my car and drove home, battling a hard-on the entire time as I thought about Lana lying out in a skimpy bikini. I entered the house as quietly as I could. The car clock read 1:44 PM when I turned it off. I had to clock in, but I had to talk to Penny. She was in the kitchen when I arrived. I looked for Abby, but Penny pointed to the monitor on the counter as she finished the dishes. 

“Come on.” Penny said, gesturing for me to follow her as she left the kitchen and walked toward the guest room. 

I grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the guest room door. Shaking my head. 

“Outside?” She asked. 

I shook my head. 

“Living room?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at my continued headshakes. “Upstairs?” 

I nodded. 

“Oh.” Penny said, surprised. “Okay. Your bedroom, or did you want to do it in the office again?” 

I shook my head. 

“Well, we can’t fuck in Abby’s room. So where do you want to go?” She asked, confused. 

I sighed. She reversed the pull on our hands and pulled me after her into the guest room. She shut the door as I stood between the bed and the empty dresser. 

She gestured for me to sit on the bed, but I remained standing. 

“Julio…” Penny said. “What’s going on? How was your lunch with Lana? Did I miss something?” 

I nodded. “Lunch was good. And yeah… you missed a lot this weekend while you were out with Rowan.” I said the name with as little malice as possible, but it still came out spiteful. 

Penny looked surprised. “Was that a problem?” She asked. “We’d planned to see a concert this weekend, so I stayed overnight in the city. My mom said she’d cover if you needed help with Abby.” 

I deflated, sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. “No.” I said, lying to her and myself. “It wasn’t a problem. I just…” I put my elbows on my knees. “I don’t know what I’m doing, and it’s killing me.” 

The mattress dipped as Penny sat beside me. Her hand stroked my back, rubbing the upper and lower portions in long, steady strokes. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a great dad.” 

I shook my head. “I don’t mean with Abby.” I said. “I mean with you. What you and I are doing… were doing. And Saturday…” I hesitated. “Something happened on Saturday that I need to tell you about.” 

Penny nodded, not interrupting me but letting me speak. She turned to face me, bending her leg between us on the mattress and holding on to her calf. I turned toward her, mirroring her while we each kept one foot on the floor. Well, I kept a foot on the floor. Her foot dangled several inches above the floor after she hooked her leg over her other ankle. 

“Your mom came over Saturday night.” I said, beginning my story. 

Penny nodded. “I asked her to check on you. I wanted to make sure you didn’t get overwhelmed with Abby. I know I shouldn’t worry. You’re a great dad, and you can handle everything on your own. I just felt bad that you were alone, and I was out having fun with friends. I wanted to be here, honest, but we bought the tickets a while ago, and I’ve wanted to see them–” 

“It’s okay.” I assured her. “But when your mom came over, she… she told me she and your dad got a divorce.” 

“Oh.” Penny said, frowning. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about that?” I asked, interrupting my story with the question that had been nagging me. 

Penny shrugged. “I didn’t want to talk about it.” She said. “I know my dad’s the asshole in the situation, but he’s always been great to me and my friends. My mom… she can be a bitch sometimes. I love her, but we argue a lot, you know? And she’s been a total bitch because of the divorce all summer. I’ve been glad to spend so much time over here, away from her.” 

I nodded. Penny’s description of her mother didn’t mesh with what I’d seen, but I’d only seen her in passing and short moments all summer until last Saturday night. She’d been volatile. Moody. She put up a brave facade, but I’d glimpsed the fragile woman with low self-esteem beneath it. I could only imagine what moods she might go through in a day. 

“She was in a great mood yesterday, though.” Penny commented. “The happiest she’s been in months, actually. She made me breakfast before I left this morning and made smiley faces on the pancakes with chocolate chips like she used to.” 

I nodded. That sounded… good? I supposed. It was weird to think that I might have had something to do with that. Pride was a new emotion connecting itself to Saturday night, and I cut it off. No, that wasn’t me. Whatever Mandy was going through, she was responsible for her own emotions. 

I sighed. “Look…” I said, hesitating again, bracing myself for impact. “When your mom came over Saturday night, things got out of hand. We got carried away.” 

Penny stared at me, her eyes widening. 

“Your mom and I…” I could tell by the horrified expression on her face she knew where I was going with this, so I started defending myself. “We were drunk. Or, at least, we were drinking. I don’t think we were drunk, but we were swimming, and she… we…” 

“Oh my god.” Penny gasped. 

“We fucked.” I said, finally admitting it and flinching as I braced for the well-deserved slap. 

Penny didn’t slap me. She stared at me in blinking disbelief. “Oh, my god! You fucked my mom?” She asked, still disbelieving. 

“I… uh… yeah.” I admitted. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

“Why?!” Penny asked. 

“I don’t know.” I answered. “I think it was a combination of things. I was jealous that you were out with Rowan and confused over everything going on with you, Lana, and Anne. Then your mom came over, and she was so eager and so… fragile? I felt like if I turned her down, it would hurt her, but if I slept with her–” 

“Jealous?!” Penny latched onto that word with both hands. “You were jealous that I was out with my friends, so you fucked my mom?”

“I know I don't have any right to be!” I answered, more pleading than yelling, I hoped, but keeping my volume low as I plowed through the words. “I know I went out with Lana and slept with Anne, and you encouraged me to go out with her in the first place, but I… I got so jealous picturing you with that Rowan asshole. I just…” 

“So, to get back at me, you fucked my mom?” Penny asked, incredulous.

“No!” I answered. “I tried to turn her down, but she was coming on strong and I got the feeling it might really hurt her if I said no. And it's not like I could tell her why! I can't tell her I'm fucking you, right?” 

“So you took advantage of my mom?” Penny asked. 

“No!” I said, adamant. “I told you she came onto me. I didn't take advantage of her any more than you took advantage of me! Less, even, since she initiated everything!” 

Penny frowned at that. She exhaled slowly and closed her eyes. I couldn't tell if she was arming herself for a response or calming herself with a breathing exercise.

Penny put her hand on my forearm. She opened her eyes, much calmer than before. “So, why are you sorry?” 

It was my turn to blink in confusion. “Because I slept with your mom?” 

Penny nodded. “Yeah, that’s… pretty fucked up. Definitely not part of the plan.” 

“Plan?” I asked, confused. “What just happened? You’re not still pissed at me? You don’t think I’m disgusting or terrible or…” Or any of the things I thought about myself? 

Penny looked at her knee and didn’t meet my gaze as she rubbed her calf. “I don’t know! It’s a lot to process.” She said. “I’m pissed at my mom, but I can’t blame her for wanting you. She’s made comments about you for a while. Not to Dad, obviously, but… you’re definitely her type. My type, too.” 

I didn’t know what to say about that. 

“I’m surprised.” Penny continued. “You definitely caught me off guard. I didn’t think she’d be brave enough to do that in a million years. And yeah, I want you to find someone you love and can be happy with and settle down, but I never thought you'd think of my mom for that! To hear her talk, she's not looking to settle down. She joked about hitting the clubs with us, but she's not that brave. Then again, I didn’t think I’d be this brave either. I had to work up to it, working for you for over a month before I made a move.” 

I wasn’t sure if I should say something, but she kept talking, so I kept my mouth shut. 

“Jealousy is definitely a factor.” Penny said. “Which I have no right to feel.” She added quickly. “I’ve been very clear with you that this,” she gestured between us, “is not exclusive. Hell, I’ve been pushing you to sleep with other women ‘cause I get off on it! I want you to explore your sexuality and be happy. To find someone who can make you happy long term, like Lana.” 

Lana was a reasonable prospect when it came to that, I had to admit. I could see us having a future together. So long as she never found out about me fucking my nanny. Not that we were exclusive. I didn’t know Lana very well, but we were working on that. We had time. We’d see how she and Abby got along this Sunday, and even if that didn’t go well, we’d have time to work on it and get Abby used to the idea of a new person being around. She knew Penny and Mandy well enough and liked them, but she was super shy around strangers. Getting Abby to interact with her might take the whole of Sunday. 

That was not what I should be thinking about right now, though. I returned my focus to Penny, who was still staring at her leg as she rubbed it. 

“What else are you feeling?” I asked. 

“Angry at myself for going to that stupid concert.” Penny said. “If I were here, my Mom wouldn’t have had the opportunity.” 

I nodded. “You don’t need to be angry at yourself.” I said. “It’s not your fault you had plans.” 

“I know.” She said. “Doesn’t mean I don’t feel that way.” 

I understood that distinction. I knew I shouldn’t feel guilty about my sexual relationship with Penny, but I still did. It was almost the same thing. 

“Do you regret it?” Penny asked, not looking at me. 

“Of course.” I said immediately. “I shouldn’t have done it.” 

“Do you regret sleeping with me too?” Penny asked. 

I hesitated. “Sometimes.” I admitted. 

“Do you want her instead of me?” Penny asked. 

“No.” I said, shaking my head. “I… Your mom and I… I don’t think that would work out long term.” 

Penny laughed, startling me. “Oh my god, could you imagine? You’d be my stepdad. We could open a porn site.” 

I didn’t know why she was laughing when she started talking, but once she explained it, I laughed with her. Step-porn was invasively popular on multiple video sites to the point of incredulity. The prefix had lost all meaning in some places, where titles like “Step-brother-in-law’s nephew fucks me” led to confusion rather than arousal. 

I shook the idea off, which made Penny laugh even more. 

“Okay… so… you fucked my mom.” Penny said. “Are you going to do it again?” 

“No.” I said, shaking my head. 

“Do you want to?” Penny asked. 

“No.” I said. “Absolutely not.” 

“But you wanted to fuck her on Saturday?” Penny asked. 

“I…” I wasn’t sure how to answer that without digging my own grave and jumping in with both feet. 

Penny put her hand on my knee and squeezed. “It’s okay.” She said. “I don’t blame you. My mom’s fit. She’s got my looks, and I know she always flirts with you.” She rolled her eyes. “Plus, you probably helped her out. Whatever she’s going through with my dad, I think she needed the ego boost, and you gave her a boost with your dick.” 

I rolled my eyes at the lewd language, which made Penny giggle. 

“If it weren’t so weird, I’d thank you for making her feel better than she has in months.” Penny said. “So, if she comes over again…” 

“I’ll send her home.” I declared. 

“Not what I was going to say.” Penny said. 

I stared at her. 

“If she comes a-knocking, just… don’t hurt her.” Penny said. “I don’t have any right to stop you but don’t tell me any details. I don’t want to know about your illicit booty calls with my mom.” She laughed to make it less awkward, but it only made it more awkward from where I sat. 

“Are you… telling me to fuck your mom?” I asked, confused. 

“If she wants you to, and you want to… I mean… why not?” Penny asked. 

“But what about…” I gestured between us. 

“Oh, I’m still going to fuck you.” Penny said. “I’ve been turned on all weekend, and I need your dick. Don’t worry. I just… don’t want the details of you and my mom.” She made a face. “That’s gross. Otherwise, everything stays the same, right? Don’t tell her about us, and just… enjoy.” 

She couldn't be serious. I stared at her, waiting for the gotcha moment when she'd slap me and storm out.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Penny said. “That's the nature of our relationship, right? You can fuck anybody you want to, like Lana, Anne, or… other people. You don’t need my permission. The only real difference is I don't want the juicy details.” 

“You are the most confusing woman I’ve ever met.” I said, and I meant it. 

“I know.” Penny shrugged. She was quiet for a while, then shifted, getting more comfortable on the bed. “Now, on to hotter topics. Did anything sexy happen with you and Lana at lunch?” 

“No.” I said, shaking my head. “It was just a lunch date.” 

“That’s disappointing.” Penny frowned. “Do you have time for a quickie? Or do you want to fuck me at your desk? I can pretend to be your naughty secretary?” 

I coughed, shifting my position as my dick raised its head at the idea. “What about Rowan?” I asked. 

“What about Rowan?” Penny asked, surprised. “What does Rowan have to do with anything?” 

“Aren’t you and he… dating?” I asked. I checked her expression to see if she’d try to lie about it, but I only saw amusement. “Does he know about me?” 

Penny laughed, shaking her head. She looked at me with mischief in her eyes that I wasn’t sure I appreciated. “Lay back, Mister Castillo.” 

“But–” I protested. 

She stood between me and the door as she pushed against my shoulders. I turned, sitting on the mattress and facing her with both feet on the floor. She pushed my knees apart and stood between them, my knees on the outside of her legs. 

“Lie back.” Penny said, pushing me backward. 

I sighed and fell back, lying on the mattress. I expected a blowjob, but Penny surprised me as she took off her top and threw it at my face. I moved it aside to see her taking off her bra and lowering herself to the floor with her hands on my thighs. She unzipped me and pulled me closer. I scooted so my butt was on the edge of the mattress, my dick in the air. 

The thought of Penny’s breasts was often enough to get me hard. They were huge, plump, and round. The sight of them had me aching to touch them. Her breasts had a decent heft to them and a pillowy density in my hands. I reached for them, but she slapped my hands away. 

“Just enjoy, Mister Castillo.” Penny said. She wiggled slightly, and I noticed she was taking off her shorts. I tilted my head, and she climbed onto me, feeding her breast into my mouth in a move that was too reminiscent of her mother. 

I started to protest, but her nipple silenced me as it scraped my chin, and gravity drew her breast into my mouth. My erection would have flagged, but couldn’t for the hot, wet mess against it, grinding on it as Penny’s ragged breath warmed the air between us. 

I sucked, and she lifted her head, grinding against me. I slipped inside her, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation. She changed out one breast for the other, and I sucked her second nipple to hardness. She shifted, rising into a cowgirl position with her knees on either side of me. She rolled her body, belly dancing on my cock. 

“Oh.” She panted, holding her breasts with one arm. “You liked that?” She asked. 

I nodded. 

She repeated the move, rolling her upper body, stomach, and hips in a wave. 

“Fuck.” I gasped. 

“Language, Mister Castillo.” Penny said. “I’m an impressionable young woman. You wouldn’t want me picking up any bad habits, would you? What would my mother say if I came home telling her everything I heard you say?” 

My erection didn’t flag at the reminder of my shame or the shameful thing I was doing now. I gripped the sheet beneath me and lifted my hips with my feet on the floor, pumping into Penny. 

She moaned, scraping her nails over my shirt. 

“Penny…” I moaned. 

“Julio…” Penny whispered, closing her eyes as she leaned forward, lifted, and lowered her hips, fucking me as I pumped into her. “Oh, fuck me, Julio. Fuck me hard.” 

I did what I could. I held onto her hips and fucked her as she rode me. She did the work, groping herself, scratching at my shirt, rolling her body, pumping her hips on my cock, and moaning my name loud enough for me to worry. 

Minutes passed, but she didn’t seem any closer than before. She rolled off me and pulled me to follow her. I shifted, rolling on top of her. She raised her legs, holding onto herself behind her knees to give me access as I re-entered her.

“Who has the better pussy?” Penny asked. “Me? Or my mom?” 

“What the fuck?” I asked, freezing with my cock halfway into her. 

“Oh, come on.” Penny said, pulling on my hips. “You fucked my mom, Julio. And you fucked me. Which of us has the better pussy?” 

Was this part of her game? Did she want me to tell her about fucking her mom after all? Or did she want me to tell her she had the better pussy? Obviously, I should go with that answer, right? 

“Yours is tighter.” I said, grunting as I pushed into her. 

She moaned as I filled her and closed her eyes. 

“I’ll learn how to use it better.” Penny said. “I promise.” She reached between us, using her fingers to rub and flick her clit as I sawed through her pussy with my dick. 

“Penny…” I moaned. “God… you’re so tight… I…” I pumped into her and ground my teeth together to hold back my impending explosion. 

“Cum in me, Julio.” Penny panted. “Come on, Mister Castillo, give it to me. Put a baby in me.” 

I came at the exact moment I registered what she said. My explosion triggered hers, jets of cum shooting from me against her inner walls, pulsing through my cock sleeved inside her. She grabbed fistfuls of the mattress sheet and cried out, bucking her hips upward as she came and twisting her head back and forth. 

“AHH!” She cried. “Motherfucker!” 

I panted, rolling off her and onto the bed, face up, staring at the ceiling. We caught our breath. 

“What the fuck was that?” I asked, confused. 

Penny laughed softly. “Sorry. I don’t know. I was just saying things. Trying to get there, you know?” 

I did, but simultaneously, I had to assuage a new fear. “You’re on birth control, right?” 

Penny laughed. “Don’t worry, Mister Castillo. I’m not carrying your baby, and you can’t actually impregnate me. I just… in the moment, it was a hot idea. You breeding me. Me… being a mom.” 

It didn’t sound hot to me. It sounded like a stark reality that should have shriveled me in an instant, not made me cum like I wanted another kid with Penny, who was only a few years into adulthood herself. 

“It was a passing sexual fantasy, that’s all.” Penny said, assuring me as she hugged me. “Don’t worry.” 

“I’m… a little worried.” I admitted. “Having a kid isn’t a sexy experience.” I warned her. “It’s dangerous to your health for one, but also it’s a lot of–” 

“I know.” Penny rolled her eyes. “Mister Castillo, I know.” She put her hand on my thigh. “The reality of it isn’t sexy. I get that. But the fantasy? Fantasy is always sexy. That’s why it’s fantasy.” 

I didn’t know how to answer that, so I didn’t. 

“You and I…” She caressed my thigh. “You’re a fantasy of mine, and so far, you’re the only one I’ve wanted to make real. Besides, you shouldn’t judge me for a fantasy that popped up in the moment and made us both cum.” She grinned. “Not after you fucked my mother, you pervert.” 

I shot up from lying beside her, and Penny laughed, holding onto her sides as she rolled off the bed and onto all fours on the floor at its foot. She laughed so hard she snorted, even as she tried to pull herself to her knees. 

“Penny!” I said, a little angrier than I should have been. “That’s not funny.” 

“Au contraire.” She said, laughing. “It’s hilarious.” 

“And what was with asking me about who had the better pussy?” I asked. “That was weird.” 

Penny shrugged. “I was curious.” She said. “My mom probably has more experience than me, but I think she and my Dad haven’t had sex in a long time. Like… years and years. So, she’s probably out of practice. If she’s that much worse than I am, she could probably use you for some practice to catch up.” 

“What the fuck?” I asked, not finding this amusing at all. “Penny, this is–” 

“Calm down.” Penny said, still laughing. “Just enjoy it, okay? You’ve got me, willing to fuck you anytime. Lana, who might become something more. Her friend Anne, who apparently likes to make pornos with you. And now my mom wants to jump your bones! A few more of us, and we’ll qualify for group discounts at Six Flags. What do we need, fifteen? We can make that happen. Rowan would probably even join us.” 

“Penny… seriously, we have to–” Abby’s crying through the monitor interrupted me, and I fixed my clothes in a flash. 

Penny threw hers back on, minus her bra and panties, and was out the door just behind me. She trotted ahead of me on the stairs and reached Abby before I did. Soothing her and nodding toward my office as she closed the door. 

And that was the end of that conversation. 

I strolled to my office, sat at my desk, woke my computer, and put in vacation time for this afternoon. Fuck it. I wasn’t getting any work done today anyway. I spun in my chair, picked up the book Lana bought me, and started reading. I needed an escape from my life’s ever-growing complications, and fiction helped.