Mastered by Andrew Katz
Art by Billis Helg
The vocal melody of this comes from a hymn, “Lord, It Belongs Not To My Care”, by Richard Baxter:
Lord, it belongs not to my care
Whether I die or live;
To love and serve you is my share,
And this your grace must give…
The courage and simplicity of the original hymn amazed me. Not graced by such simple assurance myself, a different verse came to my mind in the wake of some troubling dreams:
Until this day I had forgot
The heart behind your name
And now I must feel everything
To feel your love again
I was thinking of the burden that Jesus shouldered while anticipating his own death, seeing that great obstacle that stood between him and his reunion with God. To be human is to feel everything, not just pain and sorrow, but joy, fondness and hope. We experience each emotion as vivid and alive, and mourn its passing. It’s tempting to try and avoid those emotions, to avoid the suffering that comes with them. It’s our fate as humans to encounter them anyways, and to pass through and beyond them, into love.
Tracks:
1: acoustic guitar
2: 12-string guitar
3 and 4: vocals
Lyrics:
There is an orchard down the way
Where once we used to go
There is a lock now on the gate
That stands and guards the road
The lock is strong, its keyhole small
Too small to see light through
With every key upon this ring
I’ve tried to get to you
Yes, every gift my young heart held
I left outside this door
And every day I came to give
There was less than before
Where have they gone, the shades of life
That hung in this bouquet?
What were those words from gentle lips
Who said all there is to say?
Why can’t I remember now?
There is a song I used to know
I heard it at my birth
I used to praise and help create
The wonders of the earth
And underneath the blossoming trees
I pledged my love to you
the fruit was sweet, and then my love
Was left all bare to prove
Why must I remember now?
And though I know it is not lost
It’s yet to be regained
And echoes of my steps are all
I hear inside this cave
Until this day I had forgot
The heart behind your name
And now I must feel everything
To feel your love again
Carmen✨
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