State Of Sterling: Updates n' Stuff

Hello, lovely patrons! 

Figured it’s high time I posted another update blog, as it’s taken far longer to get back into the swing of things as it pertains to videos. Some people have started to assume the show is entirely finished! Rest assured that is not the case. 

So basically, the plan was to bring the show back weeks ago but a cocktail of workload, stressful events, and good ol’ fashioned mental health bullshit has led to a far longer hiatus than anticipated. 

We are still not fully moved into the new place. The chaos, mess and general feeling of “this isn’t home” has proven to be a massive barrier in setting up for voice recording, filming, and editing. My plan was to move, settle, rest a little, and then get back to videos - I try not to blame my neurodivergence too much for things, but the inability to even get past stage two of my plan has severely derailed my particularly wired brain. 

A more positive hurdle is that I picked up more writing work than I anticipated, as the gigs I had expanded or led to more jobs. In addition to the Vampire Survivors lore book, I’m working on another book project as well as contributing to an unannounced indie horror game and doing a few extra bits for previous games I’ve worked on. Basically, the hiatus has not been a vacation, and I think if I tried to do videos during all of this, everything would suffer. 

One nice thing is that I was able to score a job for Zilla on the other book project! With videos being on hold this long, I’m glad I could still put work their way. Nobody “gets” my creative thinking like they do, so bringing  them into the project pretty much guarantees it’s gonna be great.

I’ve been speaking with Zilla recently and we’re thinking the return to videos might be a good time to finally try a post-transition rebrand. It’ll mostly be a superficial shakeup, with the show itself being the same, but I’m still anxious about the idea, given how the wider Internet is resistant to even cosmetic change. Not that it matters much at this point - what, am I gonna start losing subscribers on YouTube Dot Com? Oh no! 

In any case, I’ll be letting y’all know more about that soon. 

Being able to still write and run my mouth, I’ve continued doing what I can to earn my keep here with reviews and podcasts, and I do hope that’s been enjoyable enough for y’all. I’m currently looking at getting reviews for Hades II and Ghost of Yotei up soon. Obviously, there’s also Silent Hill f, but I have to gather the fuck out of my thoughts on that one! I genuinely don’t know if I like it or hate it yet. 

Wrestling has died down a lot for me lately. Some of this is due to a run of bad experiences with promoters, but the important factor is that my body is catching up with me. I can’t do as many shows as I had been doing, but I still have enough gas in the tank to work a lighter schedule. 

On that note, Commander Sterling will be debuting with Nebula Wrestling on October 18th in Nottingham! It’s been a while since I worked outside of my usual regions, so I’m pretty excited and very nervous! If you’re free and able, do drop by! 

I’ll also be working with Pinfall Wrestling as usual, returning to Manchester on October 26th. I’m looking forward to seeing that crowd again, we get a good group of Manchester queers coming to rejoice, and they’re such fun people. 

But yeah, the physical barriers are increasing in every aspect of life. I have a wheelchair now - I don’t entirely need it yet, but thus far it’s made certain house chores like laundry far less painful for me. Mostly, I’m just getting used to having it in preparation for when it’ll be more of a requirement. Pain sucks. Like, it sucks a lot. 

Not much else to report right now. I’ve just been busy and busy and busy! I can only continue to thank you all profusely for your continued support. I can’t express how much better my life is for that, though of course that also means I really don’t want to let y’all down! I’m sorry that the return has taken this long, and I’m still aiming to have the show back as soon as possible. 

Not gonna lie though… having YouTube out of my life for the moment has meant I’ve felt far less anxiety and exhaustion even during one of the most stressful and busiest times I’ve had in years. When I come back, I’m going to reach new heights of disengagement with that abusive platform, really leaning into having a channel that’s both completely dead and unable to die. It’s going to be a lot of fun. 

Once again, thank you. Thank you so much for allowing me the freedom you have, both in terms of creativity and being able to take the time I’ve needed. For as twee as it is to say one is blessed, I truly do feel that way about what y’all have granted me. 

Thank you again. So much.