Anthem - Boring Trash (Jimpressions)

I mean... Destiny 2 is worse on every level... it didn't even motivate me to play it for the ten hours I had got Anthem on trial for.

Honestly, I haven't watched this episode of Jimquisition yet, but I intend to soon. Just from playing the open beta, I was constantly asking myself "Why aren't I playing Destiny 2 or, better yet, Warframe?" when the game crashed for the ump-teenth time.

Matt Ahn

<i>"It's very confusing which so-called "Triple A" video games come out on what day now, because some of them you have to consult star charts, or entrails..."</i> - <b>Jim Sterling on the challenges of being a Haruspex-Journalist (2019)</b> This was an extremely entertaining episode of Jimpressions, so at least <i>something</i>worthwhile resulted from Anthem's release. I liked the giant ball spider boss. If BioWare make a romantic visual novel spinoff about him/her I'll be interested. By the way, are you aware that you modelled your character after Superfrog? <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superfrog" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superfrog</a>

Freakish Uproar

The stinger got me, I was watching the whole video going... "Hmmm, this looks like Andromeda framework hijacked by a more competent dev team."

Dinker

Is the choice of end music meant to suggest the loading times would be more bearable if you could spend them kicking the snot out of thieves for blue potions? I was never going to play Anthem, anyway; I've refused to put Origin on my PC, and thus far, have very few regrets in that regard. Still the footage does look kind of pretty, I've got to give them that. Not "multiple minutes of loading screens" pretty, but pretty. ...Is your character intentionally cosplaying as the Martian Manhunter?

Kraken

I've heard anthem described as only being good at serving as a vehicle for microtransactions and everyday that seems more and more true.

Jest

While the story is a lore filled mess I do still love some of the interstitial characters. There's a great shopkeeper voiced by Kristen Schaal with all these amazing stories about petting adorable carnivores. Too bad right after telling me her story she takes me to a store full of microtransactions. It's heartbreaking though since it's obvious Bioware can still write awesome characters and vignettes but they're left to the slow paced barely interactive Fort and relegated to shelling out loot boxes.

I saw the Anthem trailer directed by Neil Blomkamp that they made a big stinking deal about and for a second I legitimately mistook Anthem for a movie that was coming out soon, rather than a video game. I want that non-existent Anthem movie rather than Anthem the game, because the story hinted at in that cinematic trailer was much, MUCH more interesting than the one in the game.

Another AAA that I will not buy.

Alex