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NEW VIDEO! The Hunger

Hey friends!

Nine months in the making, it's finally done!

Whenever I'm working on a video people ask me what it's about. Sometimes it's easy to answer that question. "Envy" is about envy. But this video I've had a hard time summarizing. If I had to say it's about one thing, I'd say it's about desire.

This project began as two separate ideas. One—a video about addiction. Two—what if Plato's symposium, but with lesbians? I can't really explain why I decided to combine them into one video, except that intuition told me to.

This video contains acts one and two of an originally planned three-act video. I decided to shelve the third act because of time constraints—to complete all three acts in a single video would have required at least another couple months of work.

So this video ends on a pretty dark note. It's a video about how Justine gets into her situation, but not about how she, or anyone else, gets out of it. That was the topic of act three, which I might eventually produce, depending on the reception of this video.

I know a lot of people are pretty frustrated with my infrequent uploads. I promise it's not because I'm lazy, it's just that a video like this takes many months to produce. But because of audience frustration, as well as my own exhaustion, I've decided that my next couple videos will be some comparatively minimalistic video essays that I can produce more quickly.

In the meantime, I hope my efforts paid off in this video. I'm so thankful that so many of you have stuck it out and continued supporting me over the months I've been at work on this. As always, hope you like it, and let me know what you think!

❤️❤️❤️

Natalie

NEW VIDEO! The Hunger

Comments

So, when this video came out I remember watching it and thinking “Oh no, I have a feeling this will hit very differently in a few years.” It was a rare moment of clarity. At the time I was in a really difficult place, and although it wasn’t “void”, I was struggling with substance abuse and wasn’t sure how to get out of it or if I even wanted to. I’m now in a much better position — it’s been a year since I decided to even try to change things and a couple months since I last used at all, and oddly a combination of a healthier version of religion/spirituality and acknowledging that my romantic relationship had fizzled out was what helped me get there — and I really credit this video for being one of the first things to reach me in that haze I was in. It was an account of addiction that truly made sense to me and didn’t trigger that sense of shame and defensiveness, and it made me wonder if maybe there was a reason to try finding my way out of that fog in the first place. I’m now encountering The Hunger, the yearning, in a way I hadn’t for quite a few years. It’s a complicated experience, but it’s real, and it’s one I’m so profoundly grateful to know I’m not walking through alone. Part 2 (in the form of the Twilight video) has been so comforting and helpful for where I am right now as well, but this one will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you for the gift of being super-fucking-vulnerable with us, it means more to me than I could ever convey in a comment. ❤️

RJ Blue

Rewatching and I just noticed Virginia's camisole under her lowcut dress. Your attention to detail is remarkable.

Arica Schuett

Just wanted to leave another comment on this because every time I watch it again I find something new to love. I think my current favorite thing is that, despite virginia's firm insistence that she has curbed her hunger, that she has fed herself and no longer longs for something to fill her life, inside the person that she's starving to death is howling, screaming, and clawing at the walls. That one took a while to really sink in for me. But she's still hungry. She's still got the hunger too. She's just convinced herself that she's beyond it and above it. But on the inside, she's screaming. Really good. Know this one is quite old now but it's one of my favorites.

Stormbourne

I've watched this multiple times, and it's caused me to tear up with each watch. This video was so profound and relatable, I think it's your best one yet because of how dark the tone is. As someone who experiences pretty much all of the topics this video touches on, thank you!

Dear Natalie, I wanted to write and tell you that your work is valuable, and worth waiting for. As far as I know, you're writer, actress, designer and builder on your video essays. My point is take your time. Best wishes, Daniel


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