Update: Been Thinking... and possible Hiatus

hey everyone, hope you're all well, figured i's talk about this not that we're closer to June. I've just been thinking about things, like art and stuff, but mostly growth. i set a goal for my self this yes, to reach 22K follower on Twitter/X, and as of today... i've made no progress. i'm still around the same number that i was at at the start of the year. i honestly didn't think that gaining 100-200 followers in a year would be so hard, especially with my current follow count, but here i am, almost half a year later, and very little to no progress has been made... yeah... at this point, i'm starting to believe, and planning on, not reach my goal by the year, and chalking up another personal failure on the pile, but what's new. seems any time i set a goal, the universe does everything it can to make sure i fail... i know that not the case, but it hard not to think that when i see my "rivals"( they are not, i like them and their art, they are great, just hard not to benchmark myself with in a lot of ways) have non stop growth and other things, and meanwhile, my growth is almost back to my first year, when i have less then a 100 followers, and i was gaining 2 and losing 3 all the time, and my interactions are almost back to my second year, in fact, it seems that the more the year goes on, the worse it gets. i'm not sure what i did, but Twitter seems to be pushing me further and further out of it's algorithm, for no reason, i haven't done any thing different, it just seems to be done with me...(also, i did check, i'm not shadow banned). all this has been on my mind for a while, and kinda for a long time too, when trying to make something like this a living, it had not to think about numbers all the time, no number, no growth, no money and all, you know, but it's... kinda hitting me... it really is on my mind all the time, artwork, numbers, the possible failures, it's just always in the back of my mind, but this leads me to the next part of the update...

i've been thinking about... a break, but like, a long one, like a month...

i have all this on my mind, and i have life things that... really need to be done, and just... take a little time away from art, or at least the art grind i've made for myself. there are some art ideas i have, like revisiting the fruit girl, and maybe some shirt idea, tho they're not ecchi stuff, or at least, not as ecchi, so it's been, VERY hard to want to work on them, cause they will likely take a good while to do, and that's on conducive to the ecchi pinup flow of 2 pics a week, so i just, haven't worked on them, at all. but if i do this, maybe i can work on them at a mild pace, and maybe have some sticker and short designs. also like i said, life have things i need to take care of too, lots of cleaning that keeps getting delayed, yard sales, building some things that need to be built, just things that i keep putting off so i can put all my time into art, but, it's starting to pile up, and it's getting tough to ignore, so i'd spend some time doing that too. and just, maybe just sleep for a day... i'm so tried all the time, so a day of sleep might do me good, lol.

now, some important info if i choose to do this hiatus, it would be in June, so next month. along with that, I WILL NOT CHARGE YOU FOR THAT MONTH( sorry, just made it bold to make sure it's seen and read). as helpful as the money to peeps give me each month for support and for the alts an downloads, i wouldn't feel good charging for a month that would, most likely, only have updates every week, so i'll pause the payments for june, if i go on with this. i'll also right a thing on the page to not join during June too.

thank you all so much, for real... the support you peeps give make it easier to keep at it, and it helps out SO MUCH. the times i've been able to buy food, and get Christmas presents for my family thanks to you peeps, it means so much to me, and maybe on day i'll be able to make it doing this, thanks to peeps like you... thank you.

i think that's all for now... so... let me know you feel about... you know... hiatus idea. i know it's really just up to me, but... just let me know if you think it's a good idea or not... or... if i'm just being selfish maybe... sorry, not sure why i'm thinking that way, bad mindset. anyways, just share you're thoughts on the possible hiatus( and remember, I WILL BE PAUSING PAYMENTS AND NOT CHARGING FOT THAT MONTH, really just trying to make that clear, lol)

thank you and have a good day