End of Year Reflection

Hey Peeps, just taking some time to talk of some of my thoughts about this year, so here it goes. so the first thing to talk about, since it been on my mind is, pretty sure Twitter and Instagram hate me now. Insta is actively making sure my post don't get seen, and they even told me that, and i think i'm ending the year with a lower follower count then when i started. As for twitter, i've noticed that all post on there since the star of the year, have gotten 30-40% less interacts, both fanart and oc stuff, and this is majorly disheartening since i've been spending more time on each pic, so yeah, i've put in more work, and gotten less for it, so that feel good.

 when i started this year, i set a few goals for the first time in a while, and as the end of the year approaches, i can say for sure, that i have FAILED all of them, and not even by a little, or a slim margin, i failed them by a lot. I guess i should of known it would happen, after all, i've never reached a goal i've set so far, no matter how had i work, so not sure why this year would be different. one of those goal was to reach at least 22k follower on Twitter by the end of the year, a goal which based on the last 2 year, seemed easy, and back in the last week of November, i was sitting 21,985, so i thought i might reach it, but now and a few days left, i'm sitting at 21,835, a huge 150 loss in a month, so yeah, no even close... again... 

i know i shouldn't complain, i'm lucky to have the peeps i do, and the peeps like you, it's very lucky, but i'm still trying to make this work, but it seems like EVERYTHING is working against me, it's making is hard to want to work a bit, plus, i'm not sure what burnout is suppose to feel like, but it can be tiring to keep working at this pace know that it's getting hidden, or just not shown.

an other fun thing is i'm trying not so compare myself to other artist, but i can't, there's some artist that i see that i look, and it's so awesome that they're doing so well, and that you can make it as an artist no matter what, and i like their stuff a lot, but it hurts cause it always makes me think that no matter how hard i work, or how much time i spend working, or how many meals i skip just to have that extra time to work, no matter how often i post, i've never been as good, or have post that reach that many peeps, or have that many follower, or have that many peeps on patreon, so why am i even trying, why am i spending 6- 12 hours a day working just to keep failing. i'm trying not to think that, but it's hard not too.

this posting schedule is some thing o need to think about. i work at this pace because i thought that it would help me grow, and it has, skill wise at least, but i thought it might help on grow my site, but i doesn't. it's very clear to me, i was told consistency is the keep to gaining a following, but after 5 years, it's not, i post constantly, but it still hard to grow and maintain a following, but i see artist post once a week, or 2 weeks, or a month. and Boom! amazing growth,  tons of interactions. i'm not sure what you need to grow on a site, all the advice never helped me at all, but maybe that my fault, not sure how it would be, but i'm sure i messed it up somehow, i always find a way to. maybe you peeps will find a method that work, and if so, awesome, make the most of it, and keep doing your best, you deserve it. 

I'm sure there's more i can talk about, but i've been going for a while, and this is just depressing, sorry for putting this mood out there, just been on my mind. i have some questions i want to ask you peeps, about alts and post frequency, but i'll ask those later on. i not stopping by the way, i'll keep making art and all, i'll keep going till i can't anymore. like i said, i'm not sure, i guess my goal for the new year will be... Be Better, not sure what i mean by that, but i'm sure i'll fail it like i always do, again, sorry, just letting some things out.

anyways, thank you all so much for your support through the year, it helps me out so much, more that you probably know, but thank you all. i'll keep trying my best. thank you all, and have a Happy New Year!