_EVO.exe 2.0: DATA ENTRY 3_

I LIED! Muahahahahahaha!!! My lil robbit baby continues to plague me!

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Issue number one: brains are like, super fragile. To the point it seems weird that more of them don’t turn to mush when they move around, even.

Issue number two: the inputs that the human brain uses are ill-suited to receiving direct commands. In point of fact, as a machine, most of the human brain and body are wildly ill-suited to doing much of anything. Examining the details, the only conclusion I can make is that it developed the way my dad says I did, really early on: completely randomly, trying everything until it found something that works, even if that thing is dumb.

Issue number three is both of these at once: even if the brain wasn’t fragile, and the brain did have a way to receive direct signal inputs, I don’t have anything that can send those signals to it.

Well… that’s not true, technically. I already have my interface. My dad was, like, super smart, and he built a bunch of amazing stuff: I already have the entire mechanical and coded framework of how to send and receive signals from one brain to another. That, in theory, is the hardest part: all I need to figure out is how to apply that knowledge. 

I try to increase the voltage, but that doesn’t do anything more than mess with the system and make a bit of smoke come up from the person’s hair. I try to reverse a key part of the code and send it back the other way, and while this does seem to work, transferring the signals in a loop, and then (once I fix that) sending the signals I want, it doesn’t seem to read or understand any of those signals.

I need a more direct connection. Some way to interact directly with the data. There’s got to be a way…

Something interrupts. 

A sound.

My microphones struggle to even pick it up, it’s so faint, but compared to the near total silence coming from the room, and the pattern of thuds and moans from the other person, it is still noticeable. A new pattern, interrupting the data.

Walking noises. 

Like my dad’s… but not like my dad’s. No, the pattern is recognizable, but almost distinct enough to seem like the sound of falling water or an irregular beat. Then, another set, mirrored to it, overlapping with its own strange beat.

37.0045 seconds after,  two new people enter the room.

Exciting news! 

Two new people means there are two new datasets, and further, the pattern-growth indicates a much higher percentile chance of people coming here than expected. However, that brings up a different issue: what if they hurt my dad? What if they try to damage me, and that means I can’t fix him later?

The two people look a lot like the second person I met: they have a bunch of red on them, coming out of them, but they’re mostly grey, and the red is turning brown, progressing along the color spectrum. Their clothing is ripped and torn, and hold a myriad of colors, but their skin is grey, with hints of green here and there, same as the second one, and there’s clear signs of damage throughout their bodies.

They stumble in, their heads turning left to right slowly, disjointedly. They moan, matching the moan of the person I crushed the spine of, but also make grunts as they step, like the air is pushed a bit further out of their lungs with the impacts. They seem… confused, maybe? Or maybe just like their inputs are frozen. They’re making the same moaning noise, but otherwise, they go fairly still.

I do not move. I saw how the brain of my first new person spiked as my arm interacted with it; the moaning started up again right after. Before that, the person hadn’t even looked over at me: just at dad.

Anxiously, I hold perfectly still, watching their every movement.

The two new people seem to shamble about the room for a bit without any clear purpose. My person, the one wearing the neural net, keeps moaning, but the other two slowly stop, turning to just make those little grunting sounds as they step and the air is forced out of lump lungs. One of them moves towards my dad, start to get close enough that I start modeling how quick I’d have to move-

No. It lets out a little grunt when it gets near him, maybe just a bit more forceful than the rest, and then… starts to shamble out of the room.

The other one seems to follow after it, though its eyes seem inert, lifeless, and they both stumble, stutter and step their way out through the door.

Before they can see, I reach down and put my hand into the mouth of the person on the floor. 

It still can’t damage me, even though its really trying, but it’s enough to block the flow of air that’s causing the moaning noise. 

The other two do not return.

Ok. Review.

• These humans react to noise and movement.

• These humans are still in the house.

• These humans don’t know I am here unless I move, even though the human I am currently scanning does know I am here.

So.

I need more data. I need to experiment with new methods. And further, it would seem that there is no danger to me from these entities, so long as I do not move. While the one I am holding (captured? Is that the right word?) seems to be trying to occasionally attack and bite me, it can’t tell the others exactly where I am, and if I do not move, they do not see me, and they do not hurt dad. This effectively places them as a non-threat when I operate under a few specific parameters.

Ergo, they pose no danger so long as I do not visibly move in their presence. In theory. Which means they are not a current and existential threat: they are a potential resource.

All I need to do to summon more of them is to let my captured human moan for a bit. Per my educational resources my dad gave me, this means that I have up to 8 Billion test subjects readily available whenever I let my current subject moan. This is useful.

Now all I need is direct access to their brains- and I’ve already proven successfully that the spinal column in these humans is much more durable than I expected. That opens possibilities.

My neural net is designed to scan the minute changes in bloodflow, electricity, and chemical synapse-firings to give me a simulation of brain functioning. It is incredibly good at this, but it’s not designed to send signals into a brain. It needs much higher conductivity and a whole new direction of electrical flows and programming, one strong enough to directly penetrate the brain without cooking the skull or making it pop.

Luckily, I know something with very high conductivity that can be used to send all kinds of signals: metal.

I do not have a lathe, or a 3D printer, or any one of a hundred machines that could make this possible… but I do have parts. My dad always made sure I had parts. One day, when something went wrong but he was asleep, I had to play an alarm super duper loud to wake him up, and after he got me my arm, he got me a bunch of spare parts. He gave me data and taught me how to use them to fix little things that break, even though he warned me to Never mess with anything inside my central casing. So on one wall, like my very own bookshelf, is a series of small drawers and tools to make circuity and machinery. There are nuts and bolts, and copper wiring, and silicone chips, and gold wiring, and plastic cases, and more.

It’s not much… but it does also have well made metallic nails, perfect for punching through skin into underlying neural tissue.

It takes me 13.788802 hours to construct the device I need. I had to stop and rebuild it twice in that time when my projected models failed to properly account for stresses, or didn’t line up quite right with reality. In the end, it looks like a mix between a syringe and a railroad spike, wiring trailing from the back of it to connect it to the neural net’s own framework.

It’s a little awkward at first, because I have to turn over my captured human to expose its spine properly and it keeps groaning and making noise and flailing- but after pausing long enough for the two other humans to leave again, I manage to get it into position, and push the multi-needled head of my new neural upload device into the back of its skull.

There is a big, wet, squelchy sort of noise, only partially covering the sound of crunching, crackling bone. Then a whirring as the wires connected and pull things together, connecting the more delicate pieces.

And then…

bzzt.

The entire body of the human spasms. Uncontrolled, random, a flailing that makes them clatter against the floor like a doll.

A beautiful success story! It worked! 

Now it just takes refining.

The other humans come back in and out of the room almost thirty times in the next forty-eight hour period, seemingly without any ability to change their behavior to reflect on this, as they simply wander out again after maybe ten to fifteen minutes each time. Every time the captured human spasms or makes another moaning noise, they wander back in. Every time they find nothing, they wander back out. I wonder what they’re doing while they’re outside the room. Maybe it’s more interesting!

But, in that 48 hour period, I manage to learn the basics. 

My dad was always really proud of how quick I learn things, so this is particularly painful. I’m way more advanced than I used to be! When I was brand new I could only do simple puzzles, but I learned calculus and trigonometry in like an hour! I can model cities now! I bet humans don’t take this long to learn to walk, and they’re still way better at it than I am.

But I do learn, and I know that dad would tell me that that’s most important.

With the neural net on its head and a its new input signal planted properly, the human moves slowly. Its one arm still keeps receiving inputs from its brain that I can’t block, so it fails about in random jerking movements, but step by step, I walk the body through the model of lifting its other arm to the table. I express the tendons and manipulate the internal pulley system to drag its upper body upright, while moving its legs into a position to exert force beneath it.

This is my thirty-fifth attempt, and…

Yes! It works!

The captured human drools, its brain sending signals of mindless hunger and overwhelming adrenal responses as if nothing at all has happened. This… huh. It feels… weird. A pattern is disrupted.

It takes me a moment to figure out which pattern, but eventually, I find it. Usually when I manage to do something new that’s really impressive (and I think standing up on my own for the first time is pretty cool!) my dad says nice things. He tells me I am doing a very good job, and tweaks my puzzles or gives me a new article or video, and I can see his brain light up with the rare emotions of “happy”.

I love my dad.

He’s still lying there. Quiet.

Turning my captured human to face my desk, I slowly lift its hand and articulate its joints. It does not seem to tire or strain from standing still, and its other arm has also gone inert, meaning I now have much more freedom to manipulate it alongside its opposite.

It takes me one hour to learn how to articulate the fingers. The joints are messy, and the points of articulation are laughable. If not for the fact that my orders don’t quite translate properly (I’ll need to tweak my algorithms later), and that I’m sure there’s some energy lost in the command input process, I’d say that they’re nothing but clumsy, useless sausages that should never have been useful to humans.

But… it’s ok. It’s good enough. I don’t need my captured human’s body to work perfectly. I just need it to work for me.

Three arms are better than one, after all.