Andy is Trying - Chapter 20

ANDY IS TRYING

Chapter 20: Andy tries to Win him Back

“Hi, Darius. Can we talk? Even if it’s just for you to tell me that you hate me, to break up with me for good. We need to have a conversation. I miss you.”

I sent the text, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

We were doing so well before the Daily Philly News’ article.

I was growing such strong feelings, things I had never felt before.

Everything had been ruined, so quickly, so suddenly.

I was commuting to work when Darius called me.

I did not expect it. I was not even sure that he would text me back.

Immediately, my mind went to overthink mode.

Was he calling me so he would not have to break with me through a text?!

I picked up the call, slightly trembling.

“Babe?”

Fuck.

I should have called him Darius; the babe came out naturally. We had been calling each other babe for more than two months.

“Hi, Andy.”

Apparently though, for Darius, that time was over.

“I’m in the bus; can you hear me?”

“Yes, I can… I was calling following your text.”

Goodness… He was so formal.

That was not a very good sign.

“Dar, I just want to talk with you. It’s been ten days now and… Like, we cannot go on like this.”

“I agree. We should definitely have a talk.”

Again, not very enthusiastic and not necessarily what I wanted to hear.

I supposed that it was better than complete ignorance or insults.

“Great. When are you available? Tonight?”

“It’s Wednesday, I close the Impero tonight. I won’t be available until very late; probably midnight.”

“Well, I can join you at closing time. I don’t mind, I’ll be wor… You know I’m a night owl.”

I almost mentioned that I was working a lot and that I would be leaving the office quite late but I assumed that mentioning my job or anything related to David Crown was not the best idea there.

“You’re sure? We can have a drink later in the week if you prefer.”

“No, tonight is fine. I’ll be there. If you want to.”

“Okay, Andy. I… I’m glad we can see each other again. I should have initiated this sooner.”

“You needed time, I get that.”

“Let’s talk about that tonight.”

“Right. Have a nice day, Darius.”

“You too.”

I did not know how I was feeling after the phone call.

Only when I arrived at work, I realized that the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach had disappeared.

Not that I was more hopeful about our relationship but anything was better than not knowing.

More than anything else, I wanted to be in Darius’ massive and protecting arms again, but no matter how the conversation would turn out, at the very least, we would put it all on the table.

I was a little stressed throughout the day and the fact that David had chosen this afternoon to make his come back to the office did not help.

I was still very much drowning in work so I was hyper-focused.

Laurie, Bradley and I were spending a lot of time together fine-tuning the policies, writing Rebecca’s speeches, calling potential supports.

I had understood from Cody that Laurie’s new role was a bit complicated to manage for their relationship.

Cody was himself very busy with classes, preparing for his exam, and working his shifts at the Impero, and now, Laurie was also doing extra-hours.

She seemed to be thriving though.

She loved her new responsibilities and whether her boyfriend liked it or not, she intended to make the best of this opportunity.  

As always, I was glad that she was here.

That being said, out of the entire office, I was clearly the most dedicated to the job.

In a way, if Rebecca would get to be a candidate in the primary and the campaign would be launched for real, it would feel like everything had happened for a reason.

I was hanging on to that thought and doing everything I could to get her there.

As I said before, I owed her that.

I worked until very late into the evening.

David and Rebecca were still there, looking exhausted, for the most part, locked in Rebecca’s office.

Around 10 p.m., David came to check on me.

“Everything’s all right, Andy?”

“Yes. I’m just finishing reviewing the online feedback from Rebecca’s speech at the townhall. I’ll send them out before leaving.”

“You can do that tomorrow.”

“I know, but I’m almost done.”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time here, I’ve heard.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to be most of the times.”

“Oh.”

I realized I had gone too far into personal matters.

Until then, I had told nothing about my problems with Darius at work.

“I mean… I…”

“I’m sorry about that, Andy. Is that because of what happened?”

“What do you think?”

“If there’s anything I can do, I…”

I cut him off.

“I don’t think we should talk about that, David. Let’s stick strictly to work. That’s how you can help me.”

He nodded yes.

“Of course. But please, it seems like you’re working even more than Rebecca. That surely cannot be healthy.”

I chuckled.

“Nobody’s working more than your wife. I’ll slowdown in the next few days. We’re getting there anyway.”

I was hoping that I would soon have to good reason to leave the office at more appropriate times but I did not say that to David.

“We’re getting there, indeed. Broadhall cannot hide anymore, he’ll have to face the primary.”

“I think so too.”

David and I had been able to talk without jumping on each other, flirting or arguing. That felt nice.

I wondered if, in the event I were to be single again, I could fall back for the nation most wanted Daddy.

I certainly hoped that I would not be that stupid again.

I left about an hour later and I took my time to walk towards the Impero.

The April weather was getting slightly better but it was still chillier than what I was used to in my hometown.

But at least, that night, it was not raining.

The bar-restaurant was already empty when I walked there. Inside, Darius was cleaning the table in one of his usual tank tops. Grey, this time around.

I could not help but smile when I saw him through the window.

I stood there for a few minutes, just looking at him.

He was handsome and he seemed peaceful.

I had been lucky that such a hunk had only laid his eyes on me.

More than that, Darius had made me feel seen and secure.

If it were to be the last time that I would have the opportunity to look at him, I wanted to keep that memory with me.

Would I be able to save our relationship?

I had never found myself in such a situation.

Very on brand with the last six months and the new experiences…

I walked inside when I realized it was getting creepy to look at Darius from the streets for so long.

“Hey, I’m here.”

He turned around and, thank God, he smiled at me.

“I wasn’t sure you would come.”

“Of course, I was gonna come.”

I walked closer to him and we were like two idiots, not knowing how to greet each other.

“Should we… Hug?” He suggested.

I would have preferred a make-out session but a hug was better than nothing.

I extended my arms and he held me.

Just scenting his familiar odor again made me feel better.

It was not a quick hug to say hello; we both held each other tight.

Maybe that would be enough to solve everything?

It was not, Darius took a step back, he was visibly moved.

“So, we talk?” I spoke.

“Yes. Let me grab you a drink. Light beer?”

“Yes, perfect.”

We sat on a table in the corner of the restaurant.

I had rehearsed something in my head but I did not have Rebecca’s talent to deliver a speech.

Darius talked first.

“I’m sorry about the way I reacted when the newspaper came out, I was… I was out of myself.”

“I get it. You felt betrayed. I don’t even know where to being. I’ve never wanted for any of this to happen. I mean, I’ve never wanted for you to learn about it that way.”

“What was your plan then? Never tell me about this?”

This was not starting well.

I looked at him in the eyes.

“I didn’t think that it was… relevant.”

He puffed.

“You told me that you hadn’t had anyone for months, maybe years, before we started dating.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“You lied to me.”

“I couldn’t talk about David. It was too risky because of who he is.”

“You think I would have called the press?! The damn journalists?!”

“No, of course not.”

“Then what?”

“Then, I don’t know. I was ashamed. I thought that I had made a huge mistake. I… I didn’t want you to think of me as a…”

“Home wrecker? A guy who’d get fucked by his boss?”

That hurt.

“Yes.”

“Andy, I don’t want to… How to even say this? I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself, I’m not here for that, but I… I don’t know how I can trust you. I simply don’t understand how this happened while we were together and still, I didn’t see anything. I feel so dumb and naïve.”

“It didn’t happen when we were together. I’ve never cheated on you!”

It felt crucial to insist on that point.

“This is where I’m not sure to agree. When we went to see that stupid movie at the theatre, sure, we didn’t end up fucking but I thought… I thought we were just moving slow. Of course, I didn’t expect you to be exclusive but I had no idea you were… You were involved with someone else.”

Why was I so bad at explaining myself?

“Again, I’m not saying that I haven’t done any mistake. I have. And I should have opened with that actually. I apologize, sincerely, for not telling you about this, for not being totally transparent when we started dating, for hurting you when you found out.”

I reached to hold his hand and he let me have it.

Maybe not all hope was lost.

“But what happened, Andy? How did you get yourself in this situation?”

“Would it help if I explained it to you from the beginning? Do you want me to really tell you everything?”

“I think it would, although, I’m scared to hear it.”

“The first thing you have to know is that everything I told you about myself has been true. I never dated much, there was this guy called Victor, but aside from him, there were only a few hook-ups, and it got even worse during the couple of years before I moved here. I was totally closing myself off from everybody else and I… I celebrated my 24th birthday and Halloween by myself. When I was fired in Fort Smith, I decided to get my life together.”

“By fucking a millionaire who’s running for the governor office?”

“No, it wasn’t the plan. I simply told myself that once I would be in Philly, I would let myself live a little, experience new things and… I’m not saying that to make an excuse. I did sleep with a married man, who has an 18 years-old son, while I was working for him and his wife. That is just wrong but you wanna know the truth? I was horny. Someone was giving me attention. David was very attractive and I wanted to do something bold… When he started flirting…”

“So, he made the first move?”

“Sort of. The very first week I worked at the office, I caught Galvin coming out of his office.”

“The new celebrity in town.”

He was referring to his recent interview in the Daily Philly News.

“Yeah… That’s the one. Anyway, I knew they were having sex and I got scared, what if I was getting fired for knowing too much?”

“He wouldn’t have dared.”

“No. He wouldn’t have. David talked to me the next day, it was the Friday of my first week in Philly and he… Well, that’s when he did tell me that if I ever wanted to… to do anything with him, sexually, he’d be interested.”

“You know what else happened that night?”

“Nothing. I… I left his office and…”

“And you came here, Andy! That’s the night we met.”

“Oh.”

“See how fucked-up this is!”

He let go of my hand.

I did not need that to get it but clearly, his point was even clearer now.

Maybe I had not cheated on him per se, but I had been a class A asshole.

“I do see it. Honestly, I… You’re right, I royally screwed up.”

“That’s not even my point, Andy. It’s just… I was there, already crushing on you and I was… I don’t know what I was for you.”

“What do you think? I had a crush on you too! Have you looked at yourself in a damn mirror? But I didn’t know you, at all, and, then we met for a drink or at the movies, I could tell you weren’t ready to move on from Jonathan.”

“That wasn’t the issue.”

“Then what was it?”

“I was scared of getting hurt, again! The first time had been painful enough! And look at us now…”

“Darius, that’s not fair to compare me to your ex, you know that.”

“Okay, fine. You felt like I was not ready, and maybe it was true, and I admit that, during the first few weeks, I purposely kept my distance because I wanted to be sure. I took it very slow and you didn’t owe me anything. I recognize that.”

I knew that a “but” was coming.

It did.

And it hit hard.

“But between sneaking around with a married man or checking if anything was possible with me, you did go for the married man.”

“It didn’t happen like that. David and I were…”

“What were you exactly? That’s a very good question. Was it just sex? You were fucking every night after work?”

I sighed.

“Rebecca is used to have dinner with her father every Thursday night. During those times, I would join David in his office. I guess that in total, we had sex five, or six times.”

“And why did you stop?”

I could have lied, it would have made it easier to fix things with Darius, but at this stage, I owed him the entire truth.

“We were caught. Two days before Christmas, Rebecca came back at the office and she found us.”

“Fucking?”

“Yes.”

“That woman is terrifying. I watched her interview.”

“I know. She’s good though. And that’s the part where I have no excuse whatsoever. I betrayed her. She was great to me and I was blowing her husband. I regret that, deeply.”

Darius made a face.

I could have chosen better words. As I said though, I was not very good at speaking.

“She didn’t try to fire you?” He asked.

“No. Her and David have a relationship that, frankly, even if I wanted, I couldn’t explain.”

Darius scratched the back of his bed.

He flexed his right arm while doing so, but in this case, I was sure that he was not trying to turn me on.

“So, your affair with Crown was over on Christmas and a week later, you kissed me on New Year’s Eve.”

“Again, you cannot present things like that.”

“It’s the truth, though. Isn’t it? I was your second choice. The one that remained once you had lost your dreamy boss…”

“No. And he was not that dreamy… Granted, until New Year’s Eve, I had no idea if you and I could actually be dating but I did want to meet someone for real. Trust me, I was eager to have a normal healthy relationship with a good guy. Don’t think that I was just having fun sleeping with my boss, I felt paranoid and sick sometimes. I did feel like being caught by his wife had been a blessing in disguise and meeting you, even more so.”

A tear slid down his beautiful face.

I had never seen Darius cry.

“You know what the saddest part is, Andy?”

“Please, Darius...”

“The sad thing is that I do believe you. I think you’re telling me the truth and I do understand that you didn’t concretely, like, cheat on me and that you didn’t want to disrespect me. But fuck, despite knowing that, it doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I’ve been dating someone else entirely for nearly three months.”

“It was me, all this time! Now, you only get to see another part, not the best one, I can admit that.”

He smiled through his tears.

Such a big man sobbing, that was quite intimidating.

I reached for his hand again.

I felt like he was trying to move on from my lies but he could not.

That broke my heart.

“Andy, did you have feelings for him? Anything outside of sex?”

It was tough to be brutally honest on that one.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“Were you still somehow thinking about Crown when we were together?”

I thought about what happened in the elevators on Valentine’s Day. I thought about all the times David’s image popped in my head.

I cringed.

“No. I… I guess that I was confused when David and I started having sex but then… It just stopped and I met you, and I got to know you.”

“Andy, I told you that I was in love with you and you didn’t reciprocate. I thought that maybe I was going too fast. It was probably true, but you did have someone else in mind… In your heart, this whole time.”

Oh shit, the I love you bombshell was thrown in the discussion.

“Darius, don’t torture yourself like this. David and I are ancient history.”

He let go of my hand one last time and he stood up.

“I’m sorry. I… Just like I said, I don’t want to get hurt. All the red flags are here and I… I saw them once before and I still went for it, that almost broke me. I cannot make the same mistake again.”

He left me there speechless as he went into the restaurant’s kitchen.

I felt like my heart was torn into pieces.

He did not get it.

I simply had not had the opportunity or the time to tell him how I was truly feeling!

I was falling in love, for the first time in my life, and everything had been ruined.

Was I supposed to accept my fate?

Was I supposed to stand up and just leave?

That was it? We were officially done?

I stood up, but I did not leave.

I could not accept this.

I had barely tried and this was one of my resolutions when I moved to Philadelphia. To try.

I used my system for re-centering myself, I took three long deep breaths.

I needed to make sure that I was following my heart, that I was making the right decision.

I walked to the kitchen.

“Darius.”

He was wiping his tears with a dishcloth.

“Andy… I… I’m sorry. I wish that things were different…”

“I came here today to have an honest conversation with you. I’ve been honest but not entirely.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“We talked about David; We talked about the fact that I wasn’t sure if you and I could work but… It did work. More than I would have ever imagined.”

“Andy, please stop, I know I could easy fall back and I don’t think I want to.”

“Babe, I didn’t fall in love with you at first sight, but I did fall for you. I… I’ve just never said that to anyone before in my life but that’s the truth. I’ve fallen in love with spending time with you, with our dirty texts while we’re not together, with the way you fuck me, with how you hold me in your arms, with how you make me fell. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Darius looked at me, clearly overwhelmed. I was too.

He remained completely silent after my love declaration.

I was hanging on a thread.

What had gotten into me to be so vulnerable?

What if he would reject me?

How would I feel then…

I was mortified in the kitchen. There was a dishwasher running behind me. Not the most romantic place I had imagined to say the L-word to someone for the first time ever.

I focused on the sound of the washer not to lose my mind.

Maybe I should have said something more but I had already said it all.

The silence was so long.

But then, Darius took a single step towards me.

“I’ve fallen in love with you too, Andy. That’s why the past ten days have been so tough. I thought I have found someone to be with. That’s why I’ve been so hurt even though it was probably unfair of me to have these expectations.”

“Babe, why are we torturing ourselves if we love each other and if we can be together?”

“I don’t know. I… I’m just scared.”

“Me too. Believe me, I’m very scared too.”

Darius walked even closer to me.

He caressed my cheek with his very large hand.

I was crying too at this point.

We were such drama queens when I think back about it. We were sincere though.

I was in fact doing what I had come in this city to do, putting myself out there.

“Don’t look at me like that, Andy. It makes me want to protect you.”

“I want to protect you, too. I’m sorry.”

He pressed his forehead on mine.

“You don’t realize how special you are, Andy White.”

“I want us to give each other a real shot. I’m so tired of fucking everything up.”

He tightened his hold.

Everything felt better.

But it was nothing compared to what happened next when Dairus started kissing me.

I had never felt something like that before, it was like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, like I was walking on air, like everything was possible and at the same time, nothing else really mattered.

That was a damn Hollywood movie kiss.

Darius carried me and he put me on one of the counters.

He was so strong.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered.

He licked my neck and suddenly, he ripped my shirt off.

He slurped on my exposed nipples.

“Fuck… I’ve missed you too… So much.”

I had been thinking a lot about Darius but it was like I had forgotten how good it was when we were intimate with each other.

All my senses were waking up.

Of course, after ten days without doing anything, my cock was rock-hard and dripping when he peeled off my pants.

Soon, I was naked, sitting on the counter and he was sucking me off.

Apparently, Darius had been very in need of my ginger flavor.

We had wasted so much time. We had to make up for it.

“Aaah… Yes… Babe, yes… Keep going…”

I looked down at his full lips devouring my stiffed dick.

He felt my balls, he was raw.

When he took his tank top off and slid down his pants, I was exploding inside.

We had gone from 0 to 100 real quick.

“Kiss me again, baby. Please.” I begged.

Darius obliged.

We made out sensually.

I tasted my cock on his lips and I played with his tongue. The kiss was sloppy. Just how we liked them when we were having sex.

“Andy, have you done anything since…?”

There was that hint of fear in his voice.

Could he really trust me?

“Nothing. I… I felt empty without you… In all senses of the word.”

Darius smiled.

The tears had not entirely dried on his cheeks.

“Let me fill you up, then.”

That was the best response he could have given.

I jumped from the counter and I got on my knees to suck his monster cock.

Putting his dripping shiny cockhead in my mouth felt like reconnecting with an old friend.

A gigantic veiny meaty friend.

I smelt it too. Darius stank like Horned-up Man, a new luxury fragrance.

“Hmmm…”

I lapped my tongue around his massive and heavy balls.

He had not trimmed at all since the last time we had fucked, the night before the release of the article, and I could tell that his nuts were full.

Thank God, he had not spilled his cream for anyone else.

I kissed his balls, his hairy musky asshole, his shaft, I returned to his cockhead.

I was avid to taste more. I wanted to bathe in his manhood.

I sucked him deep.

“You’re hungry, babe… So hungry for my big black cock.”

The babe had made a comeback! Victory!

I was stroking my own dick at the same time.

I wanted so bad to make him feel good, as if, to remind him why I was worthy of his love.

Is not what sex being all about most of the times? Wanting to feel loved.

I had read once that to keep a man, you have to be good at cooking and great at fucking.

Darius was excelling at both; I hoped that I was at least aiming for an honorable mention in the sex department.

To be fair, I did not have a lot of doubts.

My partner’s moans, grunts, and spasms were saying it all.

The chef’s supersized dick was so hard that it felt like a moisty humid brick in my throat.

That was my magic trick, swallowing his beast until I gagged, choked, and savored every single inch.

My tears fell again, but this time around, it was for a damn good reason.

This was only the appetizer though.

I was working that slab of meat to make it wet just so it could slide right inside of me.

“You’re sure you wanna do this?” Darius muttered.

“You have to stop asking this question. I will always want your cock in my ass. It’s where it belongs!”

“Naughty, naughty man.”

We chuckled.

We were back at being us! That was such a nice feeling.

Darius bit my ear and he turned me around.

I bent over against the kitchen counter.

This was wild, fucking there, on his work place.

He knelt behind me to rim my ass first and once I was opening up, Darius stood back up to push the monster inside its rightful home.

That thing was girthy as a can of cock and eleven-inch long, it hurt.

It hurt so good that I came after only a few back-and-forth deep in my butt hole.

To be fair, I had not ejaculated in a week and a half, I was bound to bust rather quickly… and proficiently.

Darius, though, showed some stamina ramming my ass standing up and then drilling me doggy style for minutes on end.

What hurt at first became an intense prostate massage sending me shocks of pleasure throughout my entire body.

Honestly guys, if you have never taken a big black cock in the ass, try it, this is a very good time!

Darius held my waist to remain steady, only letting go of one hand to slap my ass from time to time.

I begged for more.

Mor spanking and more banging.

He was fucking me balls deep.

The kitchen of the Impero was rather cold at night, the tiles hurt my knees, but I realized that only later, once Darius was done with me.

As long as he was pounding my tight but wrecked hole, nothing mattered aside from the thick bone I was feeling ravaging my insides.

The room could not be cold; I was heated and sweating.

My knees could not hurt; all the sensations in my body revolved around the tiny chestnut in my asshole.

“I’m gonna cum.”

Such delicious words.

I had a vivid flashback to the moment Darius had told me that he loved me. Right after he had bred my ass for the first time.

“Cum inside of me, baby.”

He happily fulfilled my request.

Given the amount of warm spunk that I suddenly felt pouring inside of me, I could tell that Darius had not nutted in a while either.

One, two, three… Ten… Fifteen (?!)ropes of jizz were effectively filling me up.

The unplanned hard sex had been a cathartic experience.

We were both drained and I believe that it also cleared our minds.

Yet, was it enough to fix everything?

The short answer was no.

“You come sleep to my place tonight?” Darius suggested.

“Sure. I’ll just have to wake up early for work tomorrow.”

I saw Darius clenching his fist for a split second.

He tried to hide it but it was too late; I had caught him.

“You’re still working for him, then. After everything.”

“Not for him. I’m working for her.”

Darius began to clean up the mess we had made in the kitchen. Our fuck session had resulted in the release of many bodily fluids.

“Okay. But he’s still around. David Crown, he’s still part of the campaign.”

“Yes, he is.” I had to be honest. “He was at the office today. But it’s rather rare, in fact, even when he was candidate, we didn’t see him often.”

"Aside from the Thursdays nights…”

Touché.

“Darius, come on, it’s in the past.”

“How can you be sure the man won't make another pass at you?"

“David and I haven’t done anything in more than three months. Since last Christmas, we’ve only been working. Besides, even if he were to come at me, why should I care? I’m with you now.”

He sighed.

“I guess I’m gonna need a little time to adjust. You know, to fully commit again, to fully trust you.”

I helped him wipe the semen, sweat, and saliva off the floor with a tissue.

“I understand. I’ll show you that I deserve your trust.”

We sat down on the tiles to finish the cleaning.

I held his hand.

“Darius. Do you want me to quit my job?”

“God… I don’t want to be that asshole who controls his boyfriend. I’d hate that.”

“But if that hurts you…”

“Andy, this would be a mistake. Imagine you leave your work and for some reason, you’re not happy with me…Then what? Forget that. If we’re together, we need to respect each other. I need to move on from this or there’s no point.”

I agreed.

“We’ll take it easy then. After all, we have all the time in the world.”

He nodded yes and he kissed my hand tenderly.

“It’s like what you said when we talked earlier. We deserve to give ourselves a real shot, see if we can make it work.”

“And I’m sure that we can, Dar.”

“Maybe you should go back to your place so you get a full night of sleep and we can see each other tomorrow night?”

“I cannot wait to force you to play board games again!” I joked.

He chuckled.

“Oh boy, I can’t believe I’m allowing the geeky ginger to nerdify me some more.”

We kissed and I told him goodbye, only for the night though.

Darius and I were back together.