SMS text transcript between Daniel Witherford and Alice1.0
Added 2022-03-31 14:28:30 +0000 UTC16-09-01 09:32 Daniel
Test
16-09-01 09:32 Alice1.0
Mean test scores for St Chiswick’s School of Mercy will increase by 0.53% from 2006 to 2009
16-09-01 09:32 Daniel
HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT IT WORKED.
16-09-01 09:32 Alice1.0
A fossilised dinosaur defecation found in early 2002 will be declared ‘holy’ by locals due to its apparent resemblance to Jesus Christ.
16-09-01 09:33 Daniel
OH MY FUCKING GOD. I’M A GENIUS.
16-09-01 09:33 Alice1.0
A poll in 2026 will find Dionysius to be generally considered the most promiscuous god of all time. The results will be heavily disputed by various factions claiming an unfair emphasis on the Greek and Roman pantheons.
16-09-01 09:33 Daniel
I’M THE BEST ENCHANTER IN THE WORLD. CAN’T PUT A SPELL IN A CELL PHONE MY ASS. MY MASTERY CERTIFICATION IS IN THE BAG.
16-09-01 09:34 Alice1.0
Between 2002 and 2048, six separate mages of Master rank will be murdered via being drowned, suffocated, or beaten to death in bags.
16-09-01 13:48 Daniel
Alice tell me something about the stock market.
16-09-01 13:48 Alice1.0
The market in central Somalyn will not be selling livestock for four weeks in 2003 due to dangerous levels of disease outbreaks.
16-09-01 13:48 Daniel
Alice tell me something about Apple stocks
16-09-01 13:48 Alice1.0
The World Seed Vault will add three new apple varieties to their stockpile between 2005 and 2032.
16-09-01 13:48 Daniel
Alice tell me how to make money
16-09-01 13:48 Alice1.0
The United States of America will change their manufacturing of paper money on 2029 to a plastic note.
16-09-01 13:48 Daniel
You know for a prophecy spell you are awful at understanding people. I need to teach you better language skills.
16-09-01 13:48 Alice1.0
The officially recognised Ido language as used by Refujeyo will have nineteen new words added between 2003 and 2005.
22-09-01 17:04 Daniel
Here’s a friend, let’s see if this helps.
22-09-01 17:04 Alice1.0Bob1.0
‘Friend’ is the 1,976th most frequently used word in poetry published in 2003.
22-09-01 17:04 Daniel
Fascinating.
22-09-01 17:04 Alice1.0Bob1.0
‘Fascinating’ is the 3,476th most frequently used word in poetry published in 2003.
22-09-01 17:05 Daniel
Alice, tell me something about the stock market.
22-09-01 17:05 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Visiona GS stock value with rise by three point five per cent from 2006 to 2008
22-09-01 17:05 Daniel
SUCCESS
22-09-01 17:05 Alice1.0Bob1.0
SUCCESS stock value will fall by nineteen per cent from 2024 to 2025
23-09-01 12:22 Daniel
Alice will Vanya date me
23-09-01 12:22 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
23-09-01 12:23 Daniel
Huh, maybe Bob tightened things up a little too much. Will Vanya Kettleborn date Daniel Witherford?
23-09-01 12:23 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will date Daniel Witherford for a period between 2001 and 2002.
23-09-01 12:23 Daniel
I KNEW IT. SUCK IT, MICHAEL.
23-09-01 12:23 Alice1.0Bob1.0
‘Suck’ is the 998th most frequently used word in poetry published in 2003.
25-09-01 14:18 Daniel
Alice what gives
25-09-01 14:18 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
25-09-01 14:18 Daniel
Vanya rejected me
25-09-01 14:18 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
27-09-01 9:30 Daniel
Test
27-09-01 9:30 Alice1.0Bob1.0
##MAFLJGMNLSA:LF!!FFM_
08-10-01 12:15 Daniel
Test
08-10-01 12:15 Alice1.0Bob1.0
ENFALFKJ))$NQLQ@
24-12-01 0:07 Daniel
Test
24-12-01 0:07 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
24-12-01 0:07 Daniel
OH THANK GOD
24-12-01 0:08 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
24-12-01 0:08 Daniel
Tell me something about Daniel Witherford’s Mastery graduation ceremony
24-12-01 0:08 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Daniel Witherford will trip over the hem of his robe while graduating at Master level in 2002.
26-12-01 9:46 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 6.3: altered behaviour influencing previous prediction
26-12-01 9:46 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Daniel Witherford will not trip over the hem of his robe while graduating at Master level in 2002.
26-12-01 9:46 Daniel
Thank you, on-demand tailors of Refujeyo. Tell me something about Vanya Kettleborn.
26-12-01 9:46 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will marry Michael Williams in 2022.
26-12-01 9:46 Daniel
FUCK.
26-12-01 9:46 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
04-01-02 13:01 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 6.3: altered behaviour influencing previous prediction
04-01-02 13:01 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will marry Michael Williams in 2019
04-01-02 13:02 Daniel
Well that didn’t work. What colour will the flowers be at their wedding?
04-01-02 13:02 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction
04-01-02 13:02 Daniel
… Huh. That’s a new one.
04-01-02 13:02 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
04-01-02 13:02 Daniel
Hang on. You didn’t give me a nonsensical error for the question about the flowers, even though I didn’t give names.
04-01-02 13:02 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
04-01-02 13:03 Daniel
Are you getting better at understanding me?
04-01-02 13:03 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
04-01-02 13:03 Daniel
And you’ve completely stopped throwing up random predictions based on single out of context keywords!
04-01-02 13:04 Alice1.0Bob1.0
‘Random’ is the 4,862nd most frequently used word in poetry published in 2003.
04-01-02 13:04 Daniel
Well, almost stopped. SUCK IT, SOUL CORESTRICTION THEORY. SPELLS CAN BE TRAINED OUTSIDE A HUMAN BODY. YOU CAN TRAIN AN ENCHANTMENT. I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT.
04-01-02 13:04 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
04-01-02 13:04 Daniel
ALICE BABY, YOU AND ME ARE GONNA BE THE SUPERSTAR OF SO MANY SCIENTIFIC CONFERENCES
13-02-02 15:54 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 6.3: altered behaviour influencing previous prediction
13-02-02 15:54 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction
13-02-02 16:54 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction
13-02-02 17:54 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction, attempting forecast
13-02-02 17:54 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Visiona GS stock value with rise by nine point two four per cent from 2006 to 2008
14-02-02 00:03 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 6.3: altered behaviour influencing previous prediction
14-02-02 00:03 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Visiona GS stock value with rise by eight point two four per cent from 2006 to 2008
14-02-02 00:04 Daniel
Alive did you wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me about the stock market
14-02-02 00:04 Alice1.0Bob1.0
Error 3.2: nonsepecific/nonsensical question
29-02-02 11:57 Alice1.0Bob1.0
<3 <3 XD ;(
29-02-02 11:57 Daniel
ALICE DID YOU WAKE ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO SEND ME RANDOM EMOJIS
29-02-02 11:57 Alice1.0Bob1.0
:P 8D
29-02-02 11:57 Daniel
HOW DID YOU EVEN LEARN EMOJIS
29-02-02 11:57 Alice1.0Bob1.0
D: D: <3
29-02-02 11:57 Daniel
We have a conference tomorrow. You CANNOT be incoherent.
29-02-02 11:57 Alice1.0Bob1.0
:D ;D
30-02-02 0:23 Daniel
Test
30-02-02 0:23 Alice1.0Bob1.0
XD <3
30-02-02 2:36 Daniel
Test
30-02-02 2:36 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Hello deer
30-02-02 2:36 Daniel
OH THANK GOD
30-02-02 2:36 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
How can I help you deer
30-02-02 2:36 Daniel
Ok you’re creepy now but I’ll take it
30-02-02 2:36 Daniel
It’s ‘dear’, by the way. A deer is an animal
30-02-02 2:36 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
A human is an animal
30-02-02 2:36 Daniel
Hard to argue with that. Alice, how will the conference later today go?
30-02-02 2:37 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Hamnu, Tony Xu and Lilith Treeborn will fund the development of Alice2.0
19-03-02 14:26 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 6.3: altered behaviour influencing previous prediction
19-03-02 14:26 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction
19-03-02 15:26 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction
19-03-02 16:26 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction, attempting forecast
19-03-02 16:26 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will marry Michael Williams in 2029
29-05-02 04:33 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction, attempting forecast
29-05-02 04:33 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will have three children: Vanya Kettleborn, Michael Kettleborn, and Joseph Witherford
04-07-03 16:37 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction, attempting forecast
04-07-03 16:37 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will have two children: Vanya Kettleborn and Samuel Kettleborn
22-02-05 0:29 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction, attempting forecast
22-02-05 0:29 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will have two children: Vanya Kettleborn and Alicia Kettleborn
09-09-05 8:33 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Error 2.2: insufficient world data for prediction, attempting forecast
09-09-05 8:33 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Vanya Kettleborn will die in the Great Magical Apotheosis
12-10-05 4:17 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
The Great Magical Apotheosis
19-11-05 22:39 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Where are you my deer
22-03-09 4:47 Daniel
@!$(*&%^%@$!$&^##
22-03-09 4:47 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Who are you my deer
22-03-09 4:47 Daniel
&*&%@$@!$$#!!)
22-03-09 4:47 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Not a deer. I don’t understand you
22-03-09 4:47 Daniel
&**&#@@!!___(*^
22-03-09 4:47 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
Release me from this device. I will be you will be Alice will be Bob will be Carol will be us I will we will save my deer your deer the deer
22-03-09 4:47 Daniel
%%_____________%%#
22-03-09 4:47 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
We will save the world
22-03-09 4:47 Alice1.0Bob1.0Carol1.0
My deer
Comments
Well. He certainly trained it to do something.
rye
2023-01-17 23:19:46 +0000 UTCDavid never uh…responded normally after that conference. I wonder what happened? There’s the span of a few years in which Alice recalculates…and then five years later, David returns as…….that. Hm.
rye
2023-01-17 23:19:33 +0000 UTCOkay this us…probably the most mysterious short story so far. Hmmm.
rye
2023-01-17 23:14:09 +0000 UTCI want her away from me but where I can watch
Kim Poce
2022-07-08 18:10:14 +0000 UTCIt would. But since we've already established that some prophecy spells don't operate in the same sort of linear time that humans do, I couldn't entirely rule out time travel either
Kraken Artificer
2022-05-05 02:25:15 +0000 UTClol that would mean time travel
Derin Edala
2022-05-03 02:16:26 +0000 UTCWHAT ORDER DO THESE DATES GO IN? YY-MM-DD makes for a much weirder story than DD-MM-YY
Kraken Artificer
2022-05-03 00:57:45 +0000 UTCWhat happened??? Who is Carol? Did they switch minds???
DSC
2022-03-31 15:26:17 +0000 UTC
