NokiMo
azaleaellis
azaleaellis

patreon


Chapter 181 - Revenant


Thaddeus

Month 4, Day 10, Saturday 8:30 a.m.

The Pendragon Corps captain, hands still clasped behind his back as the severity of the situation settled into everyone’s minds, spoke again. “Much of our information comes only from the traitor that we were able to snatch back from her grasp. He has been questioned thoroughly and has made some…outlandish claims.”

“Bring the traitor,” the High Crown commanded. “I would speak to him.”

This was accomplished with surprising speed. The man must have been kept nearby in anticipation of the High Crown’s wish.

The one they had called Parker was supported by both elbows by his former comrades. His dragging feet moved clumsily back and forth as if to walk, but never quite managed to take any of his weight. The man was dead-eyed, unable to focus, and his pupils visibly dilated.

These were signs of nominally illegal interrogation potions and spells, and the tremors in Mr. Parker’s lips, eye muscles, and fingertips might indicate that he had been repeatedly tortured and healed. The men on either side of him forced him to his knees.

When Mr. Parker saw the High Crown, some inklings of feeling returned to his face. “Please. I had no choice. I had to do what she said. All of our preparation was useless, and our lives were on the line. She would have escaped even if we didn’t help her. She said as much, and you know she doesn’t lie.”

“It was your duty, and your vow, that you would place your own life secondary to my wellbeing and orders,” the High Crown said, looking down at him.

Mr. Parker changed tack. “Maybe I can still be useful to you. The Raven Queen trusts me now. Maybe I can help you find her. Or I could act as bait, just like the children were supposed to!”

The High Crown scoffed, and several people around the room chuckled spitefully.

Mr. Parker slumped, muttering rapidly under his breath.

The man on his left frowned and leaned in to hear better, then reared away in shock. “He’s praying to the Raven Queen!”

Tension filled the room almost palpably, and Thaddeus caught several people glancing suspiciously toward the nearest shadows, and a few even had the sense to look toward the vaulted ceiling.

But she did not come for Mr. Parker. One of the High Crown’s advisors snorted. “If it is true that she can hear the pleas of her followers, she must also have heard his offer to betray her. Surely, her requirements for loyalty are higher than what that cretin possesses.”

This seemed to be the impetus Mr. Parker needed to regain his vigor. Tremors wracked through his frame as he lifted his head and shouted, his voice cracking wildly. “I will offer my soul! My blood, my bone, my free Will. Save me, my queen, and devour my enemies!”

The High Crown stumbled away from him, and several of the other guards stepped in as if to protect him.

The guard closest to Mr. Parker kicked him in the side of the head, stopping the prayers as their captive lost consciousness.

The High Crown was breathing heavily. “Take him away.”

A small trickle of blood smeared against the floor as they did so. Either the High Crown had chosen the people for his Corps poorly, the elite training was actually anything but, or the man who held the highest position in the nation was simply the type to destroy any loyalty one might have had to him by dint of his unbearable personality.

Or, the Raven Queen was simply that compelling.

“Maybe we should have let him keep trying,” that same advisor said. “If she appeared, we might have caught her.”

What fools. Even if she had been able to hear Mr. Parker’s desperate prayer—improbable—she was unlikely to risk herself for such a dullard. Rather than pleading the inevitability of his betrayal, Mr. Parker should have pleaded his innocence. Of course, some lie that the Raven Queen had taken control of his mind or body would have only added to the confusion and thus aided her as well as himself. A man without even the most basic sense, hoping that his life was valuable enough for her to risk her own?

The advisor’s thoughtless remark was, perhaps, not what the High Crown wanted to hear. He turned on the Pendragon Corps captain, and ground out between clenched teeth, “Explain to me the incompetence that could have let to such total failure of our meticulously laid plans.”

Hands still clasped behind his back, the captain did not flinch in the face of the High Crown’s wrath. Speaking clearly and concisely, he explained the events as he knew them, filling in all of the gaps in the story that had been left by the other operative’s shared memories.

Thaddeus agreed that Mr. Parker’s claims, related secondhand, were indeed outlandish, some more so than others. That the Raven Queen could respond to the prayers of her “believers” was absurd. More likely, she had a spy within the palace, knew of their plans ahead of time, and had gotten herself captured on purpose. It might even be one of them within this very room.

The claim that she had performed some wicked ritual on one of the injured captives was nothing to get excited about. She had already been known to heal with blood magic, and indeed enjoyed flaunting the fact that she could do so. The prohibition on and stigma against blood magic was one of the many levers of power that the Crowns held. Was subtly changing the public’s perception of blood magic just another way that she was trying to undermine them?

Even the fact that she seemed to have been casting without a Conduit—despite visibly using one in other instances—did not confound him. He had looked into the Naughts, and if his suspicions were correct, there was a good reason that Raz Kalvidasan had integrated himself with the family. The bloodline had not saved Siobhan Naught’s mother, but perhaps the daughter was stronger.

And as for free-casting a precise slicing spell that murdered two of the High Crown’s men—who she shouldn’t even have been able to see past the glare of the spotlight—well, Thaddeus had done that himself. It was moderately amusing to see them cite this as they argued the evidence for and against her being an Aberrant, instead of merely a free-casting sorcerer.

Other claims, however, had no obvious explanation.

He could not rationalize the fact that she had attacked the diviners at Eagle Tower at the same time that she had been crawling her way out of a sensory deprivation spell in a cell underneath Pendragon Palace.

Thaddeus could easily imagine how she might have called the ravens, caused the birds to give a false positive to divination attempts, and delivered the letter to the Edictum Council at the same time that she made an in-person appearance at Eagle Tower. But two in-person appearances at the same time was impossible.

Someone suggested that perhaps only the Raven Queen’s shadow companion had attended the group of captives, somehow sharing power with one of the women—most likely this Silvia Nakai—and thus allowed the Raven Queen to act at such a distance. That it changed the appearance of the woman to so closely match the Raven Queen’s visage was…part of the effect. Supposedly.

Was it possible that the Raven Queen’s appearance at Eagle Tower was the real ruse? Had any there seen her face? Surely one of the people there could cast an illusion spell to share their own memories, unreliable as such things might be.

One of the High Crowns’ other advisors, silent up until now, pushed up his gold-framed glasses, cleared his throat, and forced some steel into his spine, though his knees were trembling faintly. “Could it be possible that Ennis Naught was never actually an accomplice? Or at least, not a willing one? If she really does possess the power to, well, forgive my unintended pun, but to possesspeople, to control them, she could have used it with him.”

“But he testified otherwise,” someone else pointed out.

“We’ve never trusted his testimony,” another argued. “And at this point, what does it matter? He has been sentenced. We can only hope that useless man gives us a chance to capture the Raven Queen.”

The nervous advisor wrung his hands. “Based on my understanding of the Raven Queen’s personality and motivations, I would suggest that all of the woman’s actions yesterday were not, in fact, in response to Ennis Naught’s sentencing, but because of the children. She did not even attempt to free the man, while instead putting herself at great risk to retrieve the children and deprive us of valuable resources. She may feel that he has betrayed her, and is thus no longer worthy of her efforts. I do not believe he retains any use as a lure.”

The High Crown’s knuckles were white as he clutched the edge of his desk, but he did not sweep off the contents onto the floor in a fit of rage or start screaming. “Is she actually becoming stronger, awakening to new abilities, or was she deliberately underperforming in the beginning?”

“The prayer might have something to do with it,” one of the few women in the room suggested. “We have records of suggested experiments during the Third Empire that hoped to use the masses to provide strength to certain ideas.”

“Why did none of our preparations to contain her work in the slightest?” The High Crown asked the first advisor.

The man struggled to speak for a moment. “The…brighter the light, the darker the shadow?”

“It couldn’t have been an elemental familiar,” someone else interjected. “Elementals are always strongest when surrounded by energy that matches their own nature. If it were a devil—if those even exist—it would be weak to Radiance.”

“Unless it’s very old and powerful, and our spells simply weren’t strong enough to weaken it sufficiently. Or, perhaps, our theories about the Plane of Darkness are incorrect.”

“I still say that thing is an Aberrant,” one of the Pendragon operatives offered. “It wouldn’t be totally unprecedented, would it?” the man asked spitefully, looking at Thaddeus.

Several people began to speak over each other, agreeing, disagreeing, and putting forth their own theories.

The High Crown slammed down his fist on the desk to maintain order. He hung his head for a moment, grey braids swinging gently. “So, does this Raven Queen have any true weaknesses?” he asked softly.

Thaddeus scoffed. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and then took a moment to re-tie his hair at the base of his neck. There was no need for him to contribute to the increasingly wild speculation. At this point, he had to admit that he was simply lacking the proper information to come to any reasonable conclusions.

When he looked up, the High Crown was staring at him speculatively. “What do you think, Grandmaster Lacer?”

Thaddeus raised one eyebrow. “I do not think the correct direction is to continue jumping to conclusions about her seemingly impossible abilities,” he drawled. “You did so in preparation for yesterday, and look where it led.”

“All this adds up to you telling me only that you do not know? I need answers, Grandmaster Lacer,” the High Crown said dangerously.

Thaddeus stared back for a moment, and then said, “It seems there are two options being bandied about. One, that the Raven Queen is a genius with magic we have never seen before. This magic allows possession of the bodies of those who pray to her, existence in several places at once, and in several different forms—including the body of multiple ravens—and that she is not only a free-caster but can also cast without any external Conduit. Two, that she is something else entirely. An Aberrant, or perhaps some ancient creature told of only in stories lost to time. If forced to choose between the two…I would present a third option.”

Thaddeus paused, and everyone held their breath as if to leave room for him to speak. “She is exceedingly clever, and exceedingly powerful. That is obvious. She has indeed done things that I have not seen before. But perhaps this evidence of things that seem to be impossible is merely what we can see of her metaphorical sleight-of-hand, meant to send her enemies looking in the wrong direction. However, all I can say for certain is that I do not know, and I will not pretend that I do. The evidence is too lacking, and more than that, too contradictory. It is also potentially tainted. Attempts to deduce meaning from it are just as likely to lead one through a maze of the Raven Queen’s making—and to an end of her choosing—as they are to lead to the truth.”

She was like a stage magician, performing for the ignorant. Thaddeus could not help the ideas and theories running through his head, but he was aware that he had reached the point where he needed to see for himself what lay behind the curtain and under the stage. Looking at where the Raven Queen pointed everyone’s attention—to the flamboyant, impossible trick—would not give him any answers.

Titus spoke for the first time since before watching the illusory memories. “Could all of these seemingly impossible feats be things learned from Myrddin’s stolen journal?”

It was like a slicing spell had cut through the air in the room, and every eye turned toward Thaddeus, the only one who could possibly answer that question.

“Speak, Grandmaster Lacer,” the High Crown commanded. “Your High Crown commands you.”

This command meant nothing in the face of Thaddeus’s vows. That is what Thaddeus said aloud, though it would have been more accurate to state that the High Crown’s commands meant nothing to Thaddeus, personally. “I can reveal that we have yet to decrypt the remaining journals. That she could have learned such feats from the journal, if she were to somehow have done what an entire team of professors and I myself have not yet been able to achieve is…possible. It might not explain everything, such as the mystery behind her identity, but it could explain some of her most recent abilities.”

Titus shifted uncomfortably, looking between Thaddeus and the High Crown, and then added, “There are also some things that suggest the Raven Queen might originate from a land past the northern ice oceans and the Abyssal Sea.”

Several of the advisors gasped, hands raising to their mouths in fear. Even the captain had closed his eyes for a moment, as if the words were a blow.

“Speak clearly, boy,” the High Crown said slowly. “You mean from the same land as the Blood Emperor.”

Thaddeus’s face remained as expressionless as stone as Titus Westbay explained the very same reasoning that Thaddeus had used to come up with the absurd theory while they were in the carriage.

Despite Thaddeus’s attempts to encourage caution, the discussion devolved once again into rampant speculation.

Against the healers’ supposed recommendations, the High Crown ordered them to bring in Jorgensen—the one who had been violated by the shadow companion.

They carried him in on a stretcher between four other healers, with the head healer walking beside. The scratch marks on Jorgensen’s face had been healed, but his eyes told of a greater scarring, deep inside where only a mind healer might have a chance to help.

Thaddeus had seen people like this before, ones who had had their Wills broken by experience, rather than strain.

The poor-man’s palanquin stopped in front of the High Crown. “I can walk,” Jorgensen told the High Crown absently, but made no move to rise from the stretcher, and the healers did not set him on the ground.

“What is the diagnosis?” the High Crown asked, looking at the grey-bearded expert. “What did the Raven Queen’s shadow creature do?”

The old man hesitated. “It hard to say for certain. Obviously, she has damaged something in his mind. He has also been having horrible nightmares, reliving his…traumatic experience. Sometimes, these episodes are triggered while he is awake.”

The healer glanced at Jorgensen, who, despite the vague wording, was pressing his fingers into the flesh of his throat. His nails had been clipped down to the quick to keep him from scratching himself.

“There is no sign of any physical damage that operative Jorgensen did not cause himself. There are no signs of any lingering active magic. We have searched for some remnant of the creature within him, but found nothing.” The healer spread his hands helplessly to the sides. “To be honest, we cannot be sure that we are even searching in the right way, or for the right thing. Despite the risk of worsening Jorgensen’s condition, we have been doing recall exercises and searching for triggers that might have been seeded in his mind. If there is a key, I believe it will be in the dreams, but so far they are only repetitions of the traumatic event with small variations.”

Thaddeus noted the way others, and especially his former comrades, looked at Jorgensen with both pity and wariness, as if he might be a trap waiting to spring shut. Even if he could recover physically and mentally, his future here, in the Pendragon Corps, was gone.

“Operative Jorgensen,” the High Crown said. “Do you have anything you wish to report to me?”

The man stared at the High Crown, and then began to shudder. His convulsions grew stronger, and were accompanied by a ragged gasp.

He was weeping. “Please— ‘Elp me,” he sobbed.

The High Crown frowned and made a sharp motion with his fingers, and one of the healers hurried to tip a swallow of calming potion into Operative Jorgensen’s mouth.

The man choked on it, but managed to calm his breathing. He spoke again with a weak, breathy voice. “The darkness was watching, knowing. But the creature…it was hungry. So empty, so cold, like it had never known the warmth of the sun or the touch of a mother. And it got inside me. But I can’t feel it. It’s just…gone. But I fear that it took something from me. Except, except—” He let out a wet, ragged cough. “What did it take? What did it eat? What am I missing?”

His voice grew louder, first with fear, and then with anger. He shouted, “And your healers! Your healers are useless! Send me to someone who can actually help! I served you loyally,” he screamed, his voice going ragged. “Your honor demands that you have me treated! I’ve heard the whispers, already, after only a day. Do you think I’m deaf? I don’t belong in some retreat for the broken and the weak! I won’t go! I won’t! Is this the honor of Lord Pendragon, the High Crown? At least the Raven Queen would, would— She would rip the sun from the sky to protect those who follow her!” He threw his head back and laughed mockingly, and the sound bounced off the walls and ceiling, echoing, until his throat gave out from the stress and his laughs turned into wheezing gasps.



Author Note: I try not to give names or distinct characteristics to people who aren't important or recurring, because I don't want to give them inappropriate weight in the readers' mind. But I wonder, is number of "advisors" and vagueness too confusing in this chapter?

Also, if you're interested in getting a free ARC copy of the Catastrophe Collector tomorrow, you can sign up here. Reviews help me a lot, but it also means you can read for free and bit early for less effort than my (wonderful, lovely, and just plain likable Typo Hunters). 

Comments

I didn't have a problem with the faceless Advisors, but I do agree that it is unclear how many people exactly are present at the meeting, if I had to give my impression I would say more than 10 but less than 30? Mainly either those involved in the attempts to capture the Raven Queen, and half a dozen or so Noble Advisors for the High Crown. This is exacerbated by the fact that the High Crown isn't really a well defined position so far in the series, so we don't really know who might be present at such a gathering.

Signspace

This is very insightful, v. I generally agree that the person with the most at stake should be the person telling the story. However... My choice here to use Thaddeus is because I consciously want to avoid adding more and more POVs to the main storyline. I really don't enjoy reading books like that and from the beginning I wanted to ensure limited POVs. I'll add other people in bonus content, but there would have to be something critical going on and no other way for one of the main characters to access that information for me to add any more main storyline POV's. It's true that Thaddeus doesn't have the most at stake here, but a partial solution would be to highlight for the reader what he does have at stake. I appreciate your thoughts, as they'll probably spark some minor changes to the final version of this sequence that I might not have considered without a nudge.

Azalea Ellis

Thanks guys! Making a note of the confusion to fix it, because I'm sure other people will stumble on this sentence, too.

Azalea Ellis

I can see your points. I don't disagree. (As much as I adore Lacer.)

Stefanie

By the way, since we’re reading a chapter on having a bureaucratic meeting in a book, please, please do not write a meeting like the one in Andor episode 7. So accurate. So, so, boringly and frustratingly accurate. Waaay too much realism in that meeting. That episode could have been a memo.

Jonathan Gordy

Good points. But, I prefer as few different viewpoints as possible. I hate bouncing between too many viewpoints in a single book.

Jonathan Gordy

also, this kind of ties in to my last comment: this will probably be an unpopular opinion, but I think lacer is an awful POV for this arc. it feels... deeply dissonant to have S, running for her life, putting on the show of a lifetime, and there's 4 chapters of Lacer, who fundamentally has zero stakes in anything - and therefore does not care. He will be fine no matter what - he is in a position where if the book leaks, he'll manage to get the information anyway. He runs around, curious about RQ because he's bored - which is different from S, who's out there to survive, Oliver, with stakes in his growing empire (and also sidenote we haven't gotten an Oliver chapter all book... hm). There's a lot of interesting things here, esp. the political climate that we don't get at all because we're viewing it through the lens of someone who's above it all; 2c someone like Titus would be better suited to show the investigative sides of thing and all the subtleties involved because he actually has stakes in what's going on. he cares! there's a bunch of interesting stuff via his viewpoint (seb a target, Parker, Jorgensen, the bit about across the seas), but it's not intrinsic to his POV, and also 4 chapters of him going in the wrong direction regards to RQ and calling kuchen an idiot does admittedly feel a bit gratuitous and fanservice-y. tdlr; lacer doesnt care because he has zero stakes, I don't care either. also he's more interesting from afar and when we're not in his head. just my thoughts, sorry for wall of text.

v

Additionally, depending on his state of mind, he could label them insultingly. Advisor Nitwit, Chief of Buffoons, Advisor of Ineptitude, etc. I think that would only work if he's both judging them and annoyed - and he's definitely judging them, but he may or may not be annoyed enough for that narrative commentary to be in character.

Stefanie

not a fan of the faceless advisors, tbh. it would be justified if Lacer was a hermit in a tower, but he isn't - he's an active member of society (Uni faculty, crown friends, research, goes to parties, etc.). These are (presumably) some of the more influential people around, and I think it's strange that he wouldn't know people that came up to that position from the military given his service, the magic advisor on the council given his status as faculty, etc. He notes Malcolm Gervin as powerful (even if it's for S' sake) - these people have the ear of the ruler, it's a little weird for them to be reduced to below the guy who embezzles from his brother.

v

James: True! He doesn’t care who they are, so why distinguish them? On the other hand, he seems like the kind of guy that would be mentally complaining that the Minister of the Coin is even in the same room. Hardly anything is more annoying to an expert than non-experts opining in the area of their expertise.

Jonathan Gordy

I'm ambivalent on the topic of the advisors. They could have specific titles, which Lacer might not realistically know, or be described more simply as "the short, red-haired one" or "the wizened, gaunt advisor." Even their uniforms could depict their responsibilities, such as a green badge for agriculture, a gold for finance, etc. There are a number of ways to make it more detailed without adding names or information Lacer would have no reason to know without being a regular advisor to the High Crown. • "I still say that thing is an Aberrant,” one of the Pendragon operatives offered. “It wouldn’t be totally unprecedented, would it?” the man asked spitefully, looking at Thaddeus. Suspicions of the Red Guard keeping secrets, a dig about Lacer's past, or something else entirely?

Stefanie

I wonder things like: are all these poor people standing the whole time - no chairs at all!?Even while people are brought up from adjacent rooms and levels? Is everybody coming and going from a single doorway? Does everyone know where they need to stand (does Lacer get to just stand wherever, or is he standing in a position of prominence?) Are these other advisors around the edge of the room? crowded around the desk (unlikely)? Standing behind the High Crown (unlikely)? Junior pages/runners by the doors? Or, is he sending off high ranking officials to do grunt work because he’s mad at them? I don’t necessarily need these details - I like the chapter the way it is.

Jonathan Gordy

Racnor’s conclusion is inevitable, but the sentence is unclear. I read it the same way as chumponimys.

Jonathan Gordy

I take one thought about Titus’ professionalism back. Titus did one thing that people want to do in meetings like this, but if they’ve been around long enough, they don’t do: offer new speculation when it seems like everyone has calmed down. It’s a weakness in ambitious people. So, Azalea intends for him to appear to strain for answers to impress the boss, and it’s spot on.

Jonathan Gordy

In my personal experience in gov’t, in which I have a limited law enforcement role, you’d see the person in charge being briefed by their subordinates and primary witnesses would not appear. So, let us imagine that the crap has hit the proverbial fan at a typical US agency. The person in charge is going to have their direct report subordinate who is in charge of issue (Titus and the Captain of the Pendragon Guard here), at least one policy advisor but probably 2-3 (magic policy, law enforcement policy, or some other expert in how one can deal with the political fallout - say from the other crown families), a senior staff lawyer (or several), a public relations or press advisor, experts from other sub agencies (if relevant - like do you have a counterintelligence office, or spy agency?), and junior staff members from the direct report subordinates (they would provide detail). The bigger the problem is perceived to be, the more people are in the room. Also, if there’s inter-agency crossover, liaisons from other agencies might be there (like Lacer). Give ‘em a title. If they aren’t described the way you like here, fire them and swap them out later for the characters that would have meaning. This is a very unprofessional meeting, which Lacer is rightly frustrated by. Only actual experts in magic should be giving their opinion; everyone else should be asking questions. Many of these advisors wouldn’t say much of anything - lawyers, for example, may only have one point that needs to be made to remind everyone what is legal. And, while a free discussion of this kind would happen at a lower level, good senior leaders want briefings, not long speculative meetings. Titus, Lacer, and the Captain are behaving correctly. At some point, a decent leader would just say: “Alright, you don’t know. Give me the best strategies for achieving my goal (capture her, get the book, keep a riot from breaking out). You all meet and debate. Get me something in writing, day after tomorrow, that proposes our options for a next course of action.” On the other hand, a narcissistic leader does something quite different. They would listen for awhile and then say: “If you don’t know, it’s obvious that you are stupid. I have this figured out from only a brief examination of the evidence. I will tell you what we should do next. Carry that out, because you aren’t as smart as I am.” People like this won’t admit that their plans were wrong. It must not have been their plan in the first place.

Jonathan Gordy

Aww, no Lacer reading the letter? Thanks for the chapter anyhow, I always like Lacer chapters regardless of what they’re about.

James Barclay

This is a Lacer chapter, from his perspective maybe there isn’t such a distinction to be made.

James Barclay

Thanks for the chapter! One thing, I thought could help sell the councilors more, would be more quarreling between them, trying to advance their own position by subtly or unsubtle attempts to blame each other for the fiasko. Especially with the mention the Raven queens prior offer of cooperation. Because with the benefit of (dubios) hindsight, the cost and opportunity costs of the refusal, are enourmous. Considering the high crown upcoming conflict with the university, a “battlehardened mage” that could easily breach the university, or the high crown defenses for that matter, is a painful ally to lose and a disastrous enemy to have.

The Stars Align

AHA! I knew he didn't just incapacitated those two guards, he outright killed them. Lacer has no Empathy for anyone outside his personal interest. And if Sebastian doesn't develop into the desired direction, i expect Lacer to be very "annoyed". Great chapter as always!

Spade ♠️ Dragon

There’s rarely such a thing as a plain “advisor” in government. Even people called “advisors” are still things like “National Security Advisor” Deputy Director, or whatnot. Now, Lacer might not know them all, but he could recognize some of them? Security Minister, Public Historian, High Crown Magician/Thaumaturge/Sorcerer, Knight Commander of the Army, are all the kind of titles that Lacer would know the political figures in those roles. Or maybe none of those people are there, so Lacer notes it; none of the power players are in the room because the High Crown doesn’t want to be embarrassed or does not know who to go to for decent advice. If the Agriculture Minister is talking about how the Raven Queen could be empowered by prayer, then we know they are really grasping at straws.

Jonathan Gordy

I think that extra detail would let them come into their own and do all sorts of good things for the scene, even if they are one-off characters for the scene.

Jim

I think a bit more detail would be nice. I couldn't tell you much of anything about the advisors. I had trouble consistently visualizing these scenes as far as the advisors go, and their placement in the room they're in. To go further, I personally disagree about them being unimportant - I think that they are very important to the story, if not recurring - they're the High Crown's personal advisors, and are a crucial part of what I believe is the first scene we get of the High Crown (eating a bird-poop sandwich speckled in the shape of Siobahn) and what he ends up commanding people to do moving forward. So in that regard, I think they deserve more detail than they currently have, to a point. As for basic details, I think the world is pretty well setup with various factions and groups like the Thirteen Crown Families.

Jim

I actually don't want any distinguishing for each one. I'd get bogged down in caring about that. I could see naming them by role if such a thing existed or b being important nobles if they were. But to the extent they are all just advisors I like the idea of lacer just not caring about them as different people and to that end too much description undermines that.

Kaelik

The only part he said aloud was the part about being limited by the binding spells placed on him. The personal assessment is silent.

racnor 1

It was notable that the advisors were not described and the number, but it was not distracting for me. That said using a simple superficial descriptor to differentiate. Could be a physical characteristic (mustache), numeric label or some other trait (the cowering one or some such).

Keisha

“Explain to me the incompetence that could have let to such total failure of our meticulously laid plans.” - let should be led

Melinda Hutson

As I read this, I found myself wondering how many people were there. My memory (wrongly) was that there were only a few people. After reading your question, I scanned the chapter for the "nervous advisor" and then realized I should go back to Chapter 179, where there is indeed a nervous advisor, as well as another one who swears at the end. That chapter said there were "several advisors". At the time I read Chapter 179, I thought 3 or 4, but reading Chapter 181, it seems more like 7 to 10?? Maybe just a bit more description (thin, old, young, brunette). I was thinking all old men until I read "one of the few women in the room suggested", although I'm not sure if the woman is an advisor or a member of the Pendragon Corps or someone else.

Melinda Hutson

I always look forward to more chapters of this story. thank you for your time.

Morog T Tiny

“This command meant nothing in the face of Thaddeus’s vows. That is what Thaddeus said aloud, though it would have been more accurate to state that the High Crown’s commands meant nothing to Thaddeus, personally.” Wait he gives voice to the fact that the crown’s commands don’t mean diddly to him? That doesn’t seem right with the way the rest of the interaction goes. Am I misreading here?

chumponimys

I didn’t have any issues with the way the advisors were covered. Until your question at the end I’d already dismissed them as generally unimportant. I much prefer reading about vague, nondescript characters and 3rd parties to give the impression of a world larger than the boundary of the story. It’s a pet peeve of mine when novels only include shadowy individuals acting alone or in a cabal, when in reality leaders and rulers are surrounded by aides, seconds, department heads, etc. As for some of the advisor’s ineptness, well some of them are bound to be economic advisors, or specialists in dealing with neighbouring countries, or there as a political favour for certain noble houses. It all made sense to me.

David

Maybe name the advisors by role? And only give actual names to the important ones. Personally I dislike 'advisors' as some gaggle of nondescriptuseless buffoons, bc if that's the case, why are they there?

Notcreepycreeper

The other thing is perhaps a dismissive comment from lacer about the type of people who pendragon picks as advisors or become advisors where he just groups them all up and dismissively discards anything any of them has to say would be a possible reason why his point of view doesn't bother to distinguish much between advisors and their internal politics, and would be pretty in character to lacer.

Kaelik

Yeah having just done a first read I could not tell you the number of advisors to save my life or where they come from. It didn't interrupt the flow too much so I'm not sure that a change is needed, but I think it could be a little clearer about who the advisors are/if there was some specific conflict between them or something.

Kaelik


Related Creators