Chapter 167 - Eigengrau
Added 2023-06-22 23:08:25 +0000 UTCSiobhan
Month 4, Day 9, Friday
In an ironic boon, with Siobhan’s panic at the thought of death had come something else—a very faint burn, a muted rush. Adrenaline. Relief tumbled through her so violently she probably would have felt dizzy with it if not for this strange sensory deprivation effect.
It was enough for her to conclude that she wasn’t dead, and her body was still there. She was simply cut off from the sensation of it. Most likely, the “everybody clear” she’d heard earlier was someone checking before they activated a spell array. It was an effective method to keep prisoners from attempting escape, even after the stunning spells wore off.
She would not have the slightest chance of calculating where they were being taken based on time passed and the number of turns the wagon took.
Even though she had ways to call for help, she could not implement them.
Siobhan did what she could to keep her mind moored, but without any of her senses, existing effectively as consciousness in the void, it was difficult to anchor herself.
She could tell that time was passing, and tried to focus on that certainty, though it was hard to quantify exactly how much without her heartbeat or breaths to compare against. It helped at first, but after a while she began to lose her grip on time, too.
She drifted off for a moment, and when she—metaphorically—jerked back to attention, she had no idea how long she had been in the nothing. ‘How long until I go insane?’ she had to wonder. Perhaps in response to this, she began to see phosphenes in the uniform eigengrau darkness of the abyss. The strange colors and shapes created by her detaching mind were incoherent, at first, any meaning bestowed in the same way one could find recognizable shapes in the clouds.
But after a while, they began to cohere into something recognizable. ‘I’m retreating into illusions to create a false sense of security and keep my mind from spiraling off into insanity,’ she reasoned, noting her surroundings and the too-sharp, too-vibrant sensations of an imagined body. Anything to house her consciousness was better than nothing, she supposed. Though she would have preferred a different setting. Almost any other setting, in fact.
Siobhan stood in a place she remembered well from childhood. She was in Grandfather’s house, standing before a half-open door. Not the metal one, from the magical workshop in the tower, but the wooden door with the warped board that left a little crack just at eye height. When she was a child, would peek through it into Grandfather’s room sometimes.
But now, she was too tall, and would have to crouch down to see through it. ‘At least I am not thirteen again,’ she thought, though the sheer relief of that confirmation seemed strangely powerful. ‘Am I often thirteen, in my dreams?’ She couldn’t remember.
Siobhan usually imagined her nightmares as a kind of physical mass locked away in her head. A slimy, putrid, hungry liquid. Normally, it was contained perfectly, but in sleep—in dreams—she was unguarded, the dream-space undefined enough that the box keeping it all sealed up tight became undefined, too. And so, the nightmare-stuff had a chance to leak out.
If she could wake quickly enough, most of it would get sucked back into the box as reality reasserted itself, leaving only the lingering terror and flashes of strange imagery.
Now, though, without the anchoring of her physical body, things normally confined to dreams started to leak out.
Siobhan had no need to peek through the door. She already knew what was on the other side. ‘My mind could have conjured almost any other scene to keep me from the insanity of sensory deprivation,’ she lamented. ‘But of course it always comes back to this.’
Siobhan braced herself and opened the door. The warding medallion was there on the table, with all of Grandfather’s artificery gadgets and lights and lenses that helped him use tools sized for a little bug. His gift for her, not finished yet.
Grandfather’s corpse was there, too, half his head a hollow. Brain matter and blood, so much blood, pooled in front of the fireplace, its warm flames reflecting off the dark, placid surface.
Just as she had in reality, Siobhan moved past the corpse to the table, picking up the medallion.
She examined it for a moment, feeling the weight of it in her hand, the moldings of glyphs and symbols on its surface, so vivid despite it all being a figment of memory and imagination.
Something rustled behind her, and she spun around, heart leaping in her chest.
Grandfather’s corpse had sat up. One of his eyes was missing, blown away and leaving only an empty, ruined socket. The other watched her with a bright golden iris staring out from blood-red sclera. “It’s not complete, you know. I never had the chance to finish it.”
Siobhan’s knees trembled and she clenched the medallion in one fist so hard her knuckles whitened, the other bracing against the desk to help support her weight. “This didn’t happen.”
Grandfather tilted his head to the side, letting her see the hollow, meaty cavern that made up the remaining half his skull. “How would you know? You do not remember anything.”
Her voiced cracked. “I remember this part.”
“You should remember more,” he said, his eye suddenly intense, almost glowing against the shadows of his face, the fireplace behind him giving him a halo of brightness. “If you just remembered, you could fix things, don’t you think? You would know why you have these nightmares, and maybe they would stop.”
“I know well enough why I have them.” She did, even if she tried never to think of it or the thoughts connected to it. She knew well enough, and could guess at the rest.
Grandfather’s expression drew together cruelly, his mouth twisting in a sneer. “Do you truly? Do you think I had your best interest at heart by this time? I’d already gone quite insane. I harmed you, and you cling onto the wound like it is a gift.”
Siobhan shuddered. “You are not my grandfather. I remember this night, and this did not happen. You’re…the nightmare. Or a piece of it, trying to leak out of the box.”
His sneer slipped away too quickly to be natural and he laughed lightly, almost seeming proud. “It seems he raised no imbecile. You are correct, more or less. He did not have enough time to do a perfect job, and he never expected his patchwork solution to have to last this long. He had planned for you to go to one of his acquaintances who would settle the matter for good. But you forgot about that part, and he was too incoherent to realize he needed to repeat it for you. So you let things stay like this, trying your little patchwork solutions that are about as effective as using your finger to plug a leak in a dam.”
Grandfather—or rather the thing wearing his body—lurched forward, rising to his feet like a puppet on strings. “You can’t keep depending on the seal to hold. It’s cracking, my little hazelnut,” he said, using the term of endearment only her grandfather had called her. “And it’s going to fail soon. You need to take control. ‘You control your mind, it doesn’t control you.’ Remember?”
“You just want me to let you free,” she whispered. “But I won’t. I never will.”
He lurched forward a couple more steps, his face too hidden in shadows to make out the features except for that gold, glowing eye. “What do you think is in the box? Aren’t you curious? Aren’t you afraid? Don’t you hear me scratching from the inside?”
He reached for her, and she stumbled back until she hit the wall, the panic strong enough that she could once again feel the physical sensation of chemicals in her body. Her dream-self’s breaths were tremulous, sweat beaded on her upper lip and her brow, and her fingers were ice-cold. She thought she might throw up from the sheer, savage dread that knotted her stomach. Silently, she screamed at herself to do something, do anything, to stop this.
And as she always did in times of trouble or uncertainty, she reached for her magic. She brought her Will to bear, letting it stretch out through her body, through the room, all that her mind had created.
Grandfather froze.
“I am in control,” she said slowly, carefully. “I do control my mind.” And suddenly, perhaps aided by the fact that she was not unconscious, but in fact quite awake and lucid, the memory returned to the state of what actually happened.
Grandfather was nothing but a corpse on the ground, all his power gone and all that remained nothing more but cooling flesh and blood.
Siobhan didn’t want to keep playing out the memory, and with a thought, her consciousness returned to the nothingness of sensory deprivation. But with her Will so active and spread through the domain she always—inherently—controlled without the need for a Circle, she felt something else. Her own body.
With her Will activated, she knew where her hands were, and where her face was, and where her feet were, and she even had a very muted sensation of touch, feeling the faint echoes of cool air on her legs and arms, and the deep chill of stone beneath her.
Siobhan could feel the discomfort of the beast core and Conduit pressed against the skin of her back, forcing indentations in her flesh to fit themselves. Which meant she hadn’t been stripped entirely. She still had some limited resources, though her dress and her shoes seemed to be missing. As she focused her attention, she could even feel the well of potential energy trapped inside the beast core, just waiting to be used. A faint echo of that power came from inside her abdomen—the beast core she had swallowed.
Pushing her Will beyond her body didn’t do much, and she wasn’t even sure it was working, but it did give her an idea. She tried to move, slowly and carefully, bringing her Will to bear in her arms, trying to fill her flesh with the presence of her ability to command the world, and thus push out whatever was inhibiting her.
Her movements were more jerky than she had hoped, clumsy and jittering, but she managed to get both of her hands in front of her face. Pressing hard to make sure everything was in place, she shoved her hands together in front of her mouth, joining her fingers and thumbs together in a Circle with great care.
She swirled her Will around her head and her arms again just to make absolutely sure her breath was filtering through the Circle and her fingertips were touching securely. She pulled at the beast core on her back, being extremely careful to avoid the one she’d swallowed, taking the tiniest bit of power and pushing it through where the black sapphire Conduit was.
Suddenly, she was aware of the Conduit the same way she was the beast core.
Relief, fear, and excitement crashed together in a cacophony of physical sensation that sent goosebumps rising over her skin and urged her breaths faster.
She had the Sacrifice and the Will, but she could not feel her own lips or tongue well enough for a verbal chant—the Word.
Taking care to hold the chant and its meaning, they way each word felt and sounded, clear in her mind, she silently recited a familiar chant, thrice over. ‘Life’s breath, shadow mine. In darkness we were born. In darkness do we feast. Devour, and arise.’ With each repetition, she felt a stronger connection to her shadow, until finally it was finished, and there was more of her.
She let out a silent laugh on an exhale. It had worked. She could sense everything her shadow touched. She had thought it might, hoped it would, on the premise that the shadow absorbed light and perhaps other things in the electromagnetic spectrum, and thus through the process of absorption might be able to give her a sense of her surroundings that her actual body lacked. Her Will could ride it just like it rode her physical body.
Her shadow pooled in the angles of her body and beneath her, unmoving, but dense and ready. There was barely any light, and as the spell pulled on her breath for heat instead, her fingers began to ache.
‘There is no difference between light and the rest of electromagnetic radiation. I should be able to use even the invisible light for power.’ The spell gained stability and the ache in her hands receded somewhat as she mentally adjusted its parameters. But she needed more. She ran through her understanding of the more esoteric aspects of light. ‘Heat and light are really two sides of the same coin. Everything that has a temperature is very subtly glowing, well below the level that the human eye can pick up, as the electrons step up and down their levels. Can I suck all of the “potential” light out of the places my shadow touches? The spell already pulls heat from my breath, so this shouldn’t even be that difficult of a conceptual shift.’
The draw on the heat of her breath through her fingers disappeared almost entirely, and her shadow solidified somehow, the sensations it was feeding back to her becoming more tangible, and the metaphorical ink of its form growing deeper, the better to stretch farther and wider.
Siobhan directed her shadow to rise up, embracing her, and let out a tremulous breath. She could feel its chill, like the underside of a pillow. But the sensations it brought were like a fire in the darkness, shelter from a raging storm, or the embrace of her mother’s arms. Though she remained in a different type of absolute darkness, she was no longer senseless or helpless. She was no longer so afraid.
Siobhan spread her shadow further, searching outward. She was in a relatively small room with nine others, including someone she thought was Millennium, but also another small boy. Everyone was lying on the floor unconscious. All were alive, though a few were obviously injured.
The Pendragon operatives had somehow transported them without breaking the sensory deprivation spell, and it was likely that many of the others were not truly unconscious any longer, merely trapped within senseless bodies and the shell of their own minds.
There was a spell array on the floor around them, which was hard to decipher the details of with the ambiguous understanding she could draw from her shadow as it ate the smallest glow of inefficiency that the lines put off.
Siobhan spread her shadow further, and found, to her dismay, a form standing against the edge of the wall by the door, behind her.
The movement of their limbs was too flailing to decipher coherently, as the person—likely a guard—left the room, slamming the door behind them. Which meant she had just alerted the enemy to her consciousness, and didn’t have much time.
She pulled her shadow mostly back in, keeping it in a blanketing shape over where her body once was as she attempted a jerky crawl away. Just in case they tried to kill her, a decoy might buy her a little time.
As soon as she crossed the edge of the Circle, all of her senses rushed back in, and everything she had felt from her shadow disappeared under the barrage of too-powerful feedback from her body. She could smell all the nuances of blood and sweat and mineral-laden water on dank stone, taste her own tongue in her mouth, and feel all the many aches and pains she had accumulated. She could hear screams and the sound of fleeing footsteps. And apparently, she had swallowed the chain connected to Professor Lacer’s Conduit while insensate, leaving the beast core and Conduit much more difficult to retrieve.
Slowly, she slid her hands closer together over her mouth, keeping the Circle intact until one of her hands was making a small Circle of its own within the other. Then, she drew the outer hand away. Despite her adjustment, using only one hand to create the Circle instead of two, the shadow-familiar spell remained steady, its chill form cloaking her with no additional strain.
Feeling blindly under the cover of her own shadow, she felt at her face. Her fake nose was hanging half-off, the connective glue likely torn by her flailing attempts to press a Circle to her mouth. She removed her disguise, slipping the contact lenses and the fake nose into the bodice of her corset, atop the medallion and transformation amulet that were somehow still hidden between the press of her rather meagre cleavage. They must have been protected from notice and theft by the warding spell woven into the medallion, with the amulet going unnoticed by proximity. ‘A warding artifact is much less useful if anyone can take it off you.’ She would have lost the golden artifact long ago if her father could actually manage to remember it existed.
She finished by scratching away the fake wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and mouth. She knew it was unlikely she could keep tonight’s identity completely separate from the Raven Queen’s, but sowing any little bit of confusion among her enemies could only help her.
She stood stiffly, with a deep moan of pain. The concoctions she had used that morning had all worn off. Her sore muscles screamed once more on top of all the new bruises, a badly battered tailbone, and a wrenched ankle. She allowed the shadows spilling through the room to drop to the floor and then converge on her, slipping away from her face to create a kind of cloak and cowl to cover up her hair. As a final touch, the shadows formed the impression of wispy feathers around the hood.
An overhead light crystal burst to life, painting the room in stark lines and feeding even more power into her shadow. She flinched at the sudden brightness and instinctively guided the thinnest possible shroud of darkness over her face to filter the light.
The one remaining guard outside, visible through the small window set into the door of the white stone room, was still screaming wordlessly, futilely, as she opened her eyes and met his gaze.
Author Note: This has been a long time coming, but it's just the beginning.
Comments
I don’t believe S is an aberrant, but she does have the “consciousness” of one trapped inside her. Nightmare type. I think it’s the same one that destroyed her village. I think it is probably momberrant. Grandfather was trying to contain the nightmare infection he created the seal and the protection amulet to help with this but it also requires S to to maintain it. He caused her to have a split will because she had to focus some of it on containing the aberrant affects inside her.
Amanda Dimitrov
2023-10-26 00:26:54 +0000 UTCI hate auto correct too 👍
Jim A
2023-07-13 22:42:15 +0000 UTCYou're a GENIUS. This is sooo good!
Kaelik
2023-07-06 17:53:58 +0000 UTCOkay please autocorrect I promise! I really do mean gervin. What's a gerwin?
Kaelik
2023-07-06 17:52:02 +0000 UTCOh sorry my autocorrect hits me hard on some of these posts. That was supposed to be Gerwins as in the two uncles they tricked into a meeting.
Kaelik
2023-07-06 17:50:52 +0000 UTCI just re-read Moonsable. There’s some implications in that story about nightmare-type aberrants that fit Siobhan very well: they are infectious (she got it from grand father, perhaps?), they live in the mind, it can be resisted with a strong will, it’s has the independent will to propagate its “effect.” It could be that Myrddin or the Blood Empire harnessed a nightmare type aberrant and passed it down through controlled sharing to give the thaumaturge abilities not normally available to the human mind; a proper seal might keep the reality altering aberrant at bay. Grandfather had one in his head too, but eventually his will failed and well . . . that village isn’t there anymore.
Jonathan Gordy
2023-07-05 19:35:19 +0000 UTCI was not on board with the she has an aberrant or something in her head.. But I am beginning to think maybe Gramps put Mom's... or Myrddin's consciousness ? In her head for safe keeping.. maybe? Could Gramps have been the keeper of Myrddins consciousness this whole time?.. I know its kinda 🤪 crazy
Jim A
2023-07-01 05:49:33 +0000 UTCYou've got me wondering. I bet they do have Katerine. She is never far from Theo, and is the face of the Stags. I doubt they have Dryden unless he was stupid enough to be at the Verdant Stag. Knowing him, he planned for multiple public appearances that day to further separate him from his other identity. Maybe Gera, but she's probably too competent to be caught. Maybe Tanya, she's just unlucky enough. Maybe maybe the Gervins, but I doubt it. They want RQ allies. Do you think the Pendragons tried to kidnap Lacer when they couldn't find Sebastien? 😂 (I'm kidding... I doubt they were trying to grab S at all.)
Stefanie
2023-06-27 22:34:38 +0000 UTCGermans??? Huh? I wasn't actually asking folks to parse it for me.. just provoking thought..
Jim A
2023-06-27 00:27:35 +0000 UTCI don’t think she is actually known for not using a conduit. There exists a couple eyewitness reports she did, but this is something you wouldn’t necessarily report to the general public
Taylor
2023-06-26 22:36:00 +0000 UTCI do think it is funny that they were like "ah we checked her bag and searched her and she doesn't have components or a conduit so she can't be the famous spellcaster The Raven Queen." Stupid cops! She's known for free casting and using her body as a conduit! We know you are mistaken, but based on what you think you should not be declaring someone not the raven queen because they don't have a conduit or components!
Kaelik
2023-06-26 21:33:50 +0000 UTCI think you are assuming far too much information gathering capability or precision. We know they picked up whatever 3 people were around millenium just to be thorough. Of they did get Theo and Katherine they might have just grabbed 2-4 enforcers who happened to be there. But also, I seriously doubt that they pierced Dryden's identity. If they can do that then he was never in a position to help on anything. Instead I think we'll before that they might target some crown family members who have been known to treat with the raven queen. I don't recall any specific updates but I assume the Germans can't just be jailed long term without a stink, disgraced or not, but if the sweep for the raven queen is going to be thorough it should include them. I also would not be surprised if her little agent in the architects got caught during the proceedings, but maybe the proceedings still haven't happened yet? When the main character enters a timeless haze it does get difficult to track the current time.
Kaelik
2023-06-26 21:29:54 +0000 UTCRiley, even if she just cooled them to ambient it would fatal.
Lawrence Kite
2023-06-26 02:13:57 +0000 UTCAs long as you don't become an aberrant trying to get those extra chapters
Satya Prateek
2023-06-26 01:50:09 +0000 UTCDon't worry, I checked my bank account and it said "that can't be worse than either of your dogs" and pre-approved the purchase. 😂🤣
Stefanie
2023-06-26 01:47:11 +0000 UTCLOL, I *could,* but think of the price! OTL
Azalea Ellis
2023-06-26 01:26:10 +0000 UTC*checks back account* if that ever becomes an option, I'll sign up 😂 (but seriously, go re-read... You'll catch soooo many things you missed on the first go around!)
Stefanie
2023-06-26 01:15:32 +0000 UTCThat's good, because I have a feeling we're all going to lose our minds before August. 😂
Stefanie
2023-06-26 01:13:07 +0000 UTCLawrence, Azalea does get happiness from seeing you all so invested in the story. I love all the theories and speculation, and how closely people read for the hints I sprinkle in.
Azalea Ellis
2023-06-26 00:56:32 +0000 UTCRight. But this story is fairly invested in making magic physically plausible. Like the whole thing is that the magic we've seen so far seems highly amenable to scientific study. I'm not saying it's impossible, just that given the themes of the story, there would likely be an explanation about how the entropy of the theoretical "magic field" increases to account for the second law when a spell otherwise seems to be violating it. Also, given what we know so far, a spell could totally cool something below ambient. It's just that would be a spell effect rather than a side effect of a sacrifice.
Riley
2023-06-26 00:09:39 +0000 UTCIt's magic not physics. The only laws that truly apply are those of the author.
Lawrence Kite
2023-06-25 22:57:28 +0000 UTCI don't think she could reduce the temperature below ambient with just absorbing energy. If she can, the thermodynamics of magic get complicated. But rapidly moving someone's temp towards ambient could still be enough to hurt them.
Riley
2023-06-25 22:35:51 +0000 UTCFuck, I'll all caught up again and now I have no more chapters to read. Do you perhaps have an additional tier on patreon with 20 more chapters?
Satya Prateek
2023-06-25 21:44:58 +0000 UTCOmg. She did it, didn't she? He hurt her, I'm afraid to speculate how, and she lost control. Then she went to go find her mom and she released the abberrant that destroyed the town.
Stefanie
2023-06-25 21:31:03 +0000 UTCI too had to look it up.
Lawrence Kite
2023-06-25 19:06:54 +0000 UTCJim I like the Myrddin's shield comparison. Siobhan has used her own body heat to fuel spells why not the body heat of her advisories? Power her spells and freeze dry them at the same time. I bet Azalea Ellis gets a good laugh at all of our speculation.
Lawrence Kite
2023-06-25 19:04:37 +0000 UTCYep. I still think he didn't actually have a shield, but had opened a portal into outer space. I have no idea what her shadow familiar actually is. Maybe it IS a portal into outer space. Probably not. But I don't think it's a harmless shadow any longer, either. The fact that it can hungrily consume energy is fascinating. If she had been able to solidify it with the Morrows back before Newton turned, I have a feeling the wall would have been in pristine condition.
Stefanie
2023-06-25 18:22:02 +0000 UTCLike Myrddin's Shield? It was using the power of the offensive spells used against it as its power... the way Siobhan's shadow was "eating" the energy from the environment it touches I think you are on to something... If it is pulling in energy directly, than the "tether" doesn't have to carry the energy to the shadow from the circle... I think that is a very good thing
Jim A
2023-06-25 17:09:01 +0000 UTCIf she has enough power, I wonder if she could make the shadow fully corporeal. Like a shield.
Stefanie
2023-06-25 17:02:19 +0000 UTCI'd like to see Siobhan weaponize her shadow, using the body heat of her advisories to fuel the shadow, it would have a chilling effect on those that would harm her, pun intended.
Lawrence Kite
2023-06-24 23:54:49 +0000 UTCI have been waiting soooo long for Siobhan's growth to accelerate, but what I really think I have been waiting for is for Siobhan to evolve. I really hope this is the beginning of her evolution.
Lawrence Kite
2023-06-24 23:49:39 +0000 UTCWas the voice of grandfather part of the seal?
Rick Angros
2023-06-24 18:29:50 +0000 UTC"Grandfather was nothing but a corpse on the ground, all his power gone and all that remained nothing more but cooling flesh and blood"... it seems Gramps is not the aberrant... he is simply dead on the ground, not transformed-but sounds like it wasn't simple willstrain that killed him...all the talk of blood. Did someone else kill him or did the warding amulet or something to do with it what he was working on in his workshop that day explode and kill him...
Jim A
2023-06-24 18:05:00 +0000 UTC"Both her hair and eyes are light brown, not black as night. No Conduit. No raven feathers made of night or crystallized blood. No shadow companion woven from condensed nightmares. And, most compellingly I might add, she was just captured by us, with no attempts to melt into the shadow or whatever" Hair and eyes Black as night. Check. Conduit. Well she is doing magic, hopefully she has a conduit, for their sake. Raven Feathers made of Night. Check. Shadow Companion woven from condensed Nightmares. Check, she just has it wrapped around her Melting into shadows. Check Captured by them. Debatable. Melt into shadows. Seems Like it. I have this crazy theory. I think these guys may have "kidnapped" the Raven Queen. Hopefully she is merciful.
Taylor
2023-06-24 13:41:33 +0000 UTC"Sebastien relaxed marginally. Such an infection would be a death sentence, and rightfully so. Luckily, she had no involvement with that incident. " we only confirmed that she wasn't involved in one particular incident. Not that she was never infected in another incident. And from this chapter, we have her unreliably insisting to herself that she "knows well enough what happened."
Stefanie
2023-06-24 13:27:39 +0000 UTCJust looked it up: Eigengrau describes the colour you see in absolute darkness. I learned something new today
Spade ♠️ Dragon
2023-06-24 13:18:38 +0000 UTCI love this... This and what Jonathan suggested below is what I've been thinking. Maybe going in the tower is what infected her, and that's what her Grandfather was trying to "patch up." It would fit well with my running hypothesis that one of the traits that the Naught bloodline shares with nulls is a partial physical resistance to magic, including aberrants. Someone had to be able to identify the first aberrants so that thaumaturges could learn how to contain them, after all. Why not someone with some kind of resistance to magic? (I'm making this guess based off of Dryden slipping through wards) This is all a wild guess, but it also kind of fits with why Dryden tried to get his sister the F out of Osham so she couldn't be "voluntarily" recruited, and why many countries find nulls "useful." I might be way off base though.
Stefanie
2023-06-24 12:27:15 +0000 UTCAs a german reader, the title throws me a bit. Translated it is a Fusion of "Eigen" which could mean own/inherent/peculiar and "Grau" which is just the colour grey. It seems somewhat nonsensical. Was this ever mentioned before? was that the High Sec Prison?
Spade ♠️ Dragon
2023-06-24 12:26:06 +0000 UTCYes! This is the sort of thing I was imagining. I want to go reread everything to try to figure out the Aberrant - whether it’s an infection from Grandpa’s break, or Sibohan had a break event that is somehow contained. Remember that nightmare type that will infect everyone? Is something like that in Sibohan?
Jonathan Gordy
2023-06-24 08:10:49 +0000 UTCWow, wonderful chapter. I’m for this kinda internal mental stuff, but this is particularly well done. I know everyone is talking about being an aberrant in denial, but I like the idea of magical ideas infecting the mind like a virus infects a computer. Because the computer analogy brings up other concepts like self-modifying programs, memory manipulation (check), partitions and virtual machines, probably others I’m not thinking about. In this analogy an aberrant is a virus that takes over your computer to send out spam emails. Hope Lacer can help with whatever gramps couldn’t.
James Barclay
2023-06-24 06:04:56 +0000 UTCOk I keep coming back to her grandfather wanting to hand her over to one of his acquaintances. Who were they? Please don't tell me we're going to find out that he had some kind of connection with Lacer or other semi rougue RG members.
Stefanie
2023-06-24 02:22:08 +0000 UTCThough given Sebastian's connection to Lacer and newfound reputation as an up-and-coming political actor, she may have just received an undelivered polite order to attend the High Crown's Court this weekend.
Riley
2023-06-23 22:43:22 +0000 UTCIt would be really funny if there's been a snatch team staking out Sebastian's dorm for days and she just never showed up.
Riley
2023-06-23 22:03:34 +0000 UTCAnd I'll formally thank you! ;D I will admit that, as I've been editing this sequence of chapters for release, my heart has been pounding with excitement, and I tell myself, "You're a GENIUS. This is sooo good!" I'm not actually that narcissistic, but I do like to say affirming things to myself, and I'm having a LOT of fun with it. This story is like a Russian Doll of nested eggs, and here is where the second or third layer cracks open.
Azalea Ellis
2023-06-23 21:54:01 +0000 UTCFor the People, Irish/Scottish/English Travelers would also fit and they have a lot in common with the Roma, despite their different ethnic origins and histories. I went with Roma mostly based on S's complexion. (e.g. dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes.) As for Lenore, I should clarify that, I am using Germanic to refer to the language group (e.g. Irish, Celtic, old English, Norse, German, ect.) and not German specifically. As for Lenore being more Anglo or Gaelic, its a bit of a Horse apiece, I was going by how often Irish/Welsh words get used, though that could jut be S's or Azalea's vocabulary leaking through. Finally, the Blood Empire being Latin related has the weakest evidence. But the empire seems to have done a lot of the systematizing of magic which mostly involves Latin words. Though that could just be a result of the split in English between Latin/Norman and Germanic words. With science being biased towards Latin. Or I could be totally off base about anything or everything. :)
Riley
2023-06-23 20:56:43 +0000 UTCI confess to having spent no time looking into real life languages and how they code to in game stuff, but I always felt like The People were more Irish/Native American themed in the sense of having a place that was there's and then taken from them/occupied (and Siobhan the name). I also felt like Lenore was more London/anglo framed. Though of course I guess what is English but some Germans and gaelic people mixed up. Blood empire doesn't have a strong thematic alignment with a specific real world culture has some themes of Norman invasion. Though in the real world obviously no one was very confused about where the Normans came from
Kaelik
2023-06-23 20:46:06 +0000 UTCI think if she is an aberrant, there are two possibilities. 1) She is a fully lucid aberrant pretending really hard to be human. The nightmare is her repressed self, and the seal helped her maintain continuity of consciousness/will through the transition. 2) Her will broke, but grandpa was able to tie the pieces back together before reality was too heavily warped. The effort killed him, and the nightmare is a combination of S's repressed memories and urge to stop holding herself together. Other possibilities are that she was infected by a blight type. Or we have been getting lots of hints about Night, the plane of Darkness, and the Brillig/Black Wastes. Worth noting that since the People are Roma codded and Lenore seems to be Germanic/Gaelic codded, I think Nott is more likely to be derived from one of the various Germanic words for Night. (Which not coincidently are also roots of Naught.) Meanwhile, Lacer's jump from Naught to Null is a bit more tenuous since Null is Latin derived. And Latin words seem to be associated with the Blood Empire in this setting.
Riley
2023-06-23 20:24:14 +0000 UTCI don't think that her being an abberant is most likely. But it is a possibility I keep in mind. She was scanned once by a copper wand that is very basic before getting the divination blocker. After getting the blocker she was scanned by the red guard and flagged as an anomaly. I generally believe that was because of the divination blocker, but that hardly means anything because it could have blocked any deeper study. I also think in general that abberant detection and abberant types are both more fluid and spectrum like then the lines drawn by the terms. It is very possible that siobhan could be an abberant puppetting a body in a way that would be hard for the red guard to detect in the best of circumstances.
Kaelik
2023-06-23 19:23:42 +0000 UTCI don't think she is an aberrant because she has been scanned by the red guard and coppers a bunch of times so far.... It should have shown up by now.... I know you are going to say "Nightmare Type"... I don't believe it.... my thoughts
Jim A
2023-06-23 19:13:26 +0000 UTCYUP.. Her familiar died in battle and Enis must of had her ring.... otherwise it shouldn't have been an issue ... right?
Jim A
2023-06-23 18:55:36 +0000 UTCI don't know if she's technically distancing her output. The spell has always defined its area based on modifying her shadow, so this might not exactly count. Also she's still making a circle. I don't know if holding the circle in you mind is a "requirement" to be considered a true master of free casting, but you definitely could freecast without a circle so free casting is a bit of a spectrum and she still has further to go.
Kaelik
2023-06-23 16:20:56 +0000 UTCYes, mom cast without a conduit after her familiar died went a bit out of it, and just loved to keep casting through flesh. I had always thought that was a but of a red herring and that she died and granddad tried to raise her from dead or something, broke and became an aberrant. Mostly because someone once said an old [some make gendered term] abberanted around her home at around the right time. But momberant was always a possibility and given more recent revelations is now my primary belief about the dreaming about a mirror made of human parts.
Kaelik
2023-06-23 16:13:12 +0000 UTCdidn't they mention her mom went insane from casting to much at one point?
Klakkers
2023-06-23 16:07:31 +0000 UTCThough it seems like she was covered in shadow the whole time. So it may have looked more like a wall of shadow blossomed out over the room before concentrating down to a blob that resolved into the raven queen. E.g. it may have looked like the raven queen arrived in a wave of shadow, and in their panic, the guards may not have even noticed that Silvia was missing/moved.
Riley
2023-06-23 16:06:49 +0000 UTCGiven peoples tendency to capital B, Believe things about S, I wouldn't put it past them.
Riley
2023-06-23 15:55:42 +0000 UTCJim A
2023-06-23 13:48:55 +0000 UTCImpressive entrance, check Shadow active, check Terrifying every guard, check
Definitely (Not) a Necromancer
2023-06-23 09:09:23 +0000 UTCYou know the way she crawled out of the circle with jerky uncoordinated movements, ripping off her own nose and the pained groan as she stood. Somebody might assume shes possesed by a spirit of some sort or possibly even a zombie. Poor Silvia, used as a blood or shadow puppet by the oh so scary Queen of Ravens.
FishFace
2023-06-23 05:27:03 +0000 UTCI think Mom is/was the aberrant - Little Siobhan walks on the aberrant tendrils in the dream and they are warm and not hurting her.... because it's Mom. I think Gramps was trying to fix Mom and something went badly, Maybe he was keeping Mom beyond the lead door. I think we will find out ; )
Jim A
2023-06-23 02:37:57 +0000 UTCEmbrace the shadows!
Jim A
2023-06-23 02:33:32 +0000 UTCAzalea, I’d like to formally forgive you for the cliffs. This chapter was ridiculously hype. Watching her begin to fully embody the Raven Queen instead of just faking it is sooo rewarding to read. There’s no lucky conditions or perfect prep work on this one. Our Siobhan is just a certified badass. I’m very much looking forward to how far she takes it and what the backlash will look like.
chumponimys
2023-06-23 02:32:30 +0000 UTCNine People and Her.... Miles/Theo - Two Nightmares, the Nanny ... who are we missing? Katerin? Who else? Lynwood? Dryden (Lord Stag) Did they catch Gera? I think the Pendragons have bitten off more than they bargained for.
Jim A
2023-06-23 02:26:29 +0000 UTCThere's so much in this chapter that I'm spinning and I don't know if I even have enough coherence to theorize. I like both of your ideas. This chapter is definitely starting to make me consider the theory a few of you have had for a while that someone or something is inhabiting her body, living inside her. Probably an aberrant. (Or that she IS the aberrant.) We already know that there are aberrants who can warp your mind and everyone around you in subtle ways, and it would make sense. If it's some kind of evil presence that feeds on emotions or nightmares, it would go even further to explain how people around her are downright obsessed with her in both bodies - I can imagine an aberrant feeding off of rumors and fear. But, a lobotomy itself would explain the split will and lack of muscle memory. I just think it's way more than that.
Stefanie
2023-06-23 01:05:37 +0000 UTCActually that's a good point. Why does it seem like Siobhan just kinda ignored her grandfather's body and went straight to the artifact? Atleast in that moment, it doesn't sound like something a 13yr old would do. then again we don't really know what Siobhan was like as a child. It really does feel like Siobhan is an aberrant that doesn't know she is one, and that everything told is pointing towards it with a glowing arrow. No muscle memory implies that she is actively controlling everything she does from walking to breathing. Split will is described as something no human can do, but she can, I think she even did it very early on? We just had no idea. If I recall correctly, wasn't she in the village that got quarantined (with no one alive) but somehow escaped? I see sort-of out there possibilities: 1. She is an aberrant she just doesn't know it yet. Possibly even killed her grandfather. 2. Her mom became an aberrant and killed her grandfather and did something to her. 3. Some other aberrant killed her grandfather and did something to her. 4. Her grandfather was an aberrant that did something to her, probably killed by the red guard and quarantined the town. I'm probably going to reread because I feel like there are more clues I missed, also I feel like I probably got some details wrong. But honestly, the grandfather is by far the most suspicious part regarding all of it. I'm pretty sure I recall that she isn't actually related to the grandfather at all right? Anyways, I just like to theorize when given something to chew on and oh boy, there is something to chew on.
Ezekiel
2023-06-23 00:03:18 +0000 UTC...huh. well that was sort of unexpected. I feel like the "seal" is either a red herring or very much an aberrant doing something. I'd agree that "Momberant" sounds the most plausible. For someone who has perfect memory, it's interesting how unreliable Siobhan is about the past.
Ezekiel
2023-06-22 23:39:31 +0000 UTCOh no I mean I definitely been thinking that the estoric shadow familiar spell could take on more attributes and powers based on her will or a template for growth. But siobhan.exe is my name for the theory that she's actually puppetting her body around and self deluding herself into thinking she is human, so when she started just filling her body up with will to move it it was like siobhan.exe lite at least.
Kaelik
2023-06-22 23:38:15 +0000 UTCOr maybe the esoteric spell is actually a part of this, too? It seems to inspire an unfair amount of terror for a "harmless" shadow.
Stefanie
2023-06-22 23:35:20 +0000 UTC"He had planned for you to go to one of his acquaintances who would settle the matter for good." UHHHHHH WHAT is there like a secret group of super evil thaumaturges who capture aberrants, use aberrants, or are aberrants? Wtf exactly was he doing to her? Is there an aberrant or someone else literally lurking in her mind? Did he put it there? Is that why her will is split?
Stefanie
2023-06-22 23:34:03 +0000 UTCSiobhan.exe activated! Hmm so maybe grandfather did something to split her will and her nightmares actually come from her other self. Did not think that was very likely. Also of course she could be wrong about dead gramps but I guess this shifts over to momberant as the default.
Kaelik
2023-06-22 23:25:47 +0000 UTC
