Musings: January 2020

Hey y’all, been a while, huh? 

Sorry this post is so very late this month. Every time I try to think about writing it, I come to the question of ‘what am I gonna do about the patreon’ and I freeze up, because honestly, I can’t think of a satisfying solution.

The job is taking up all my time and energy. When I finish working for the day, it’s usually because I just can’t force myself to write anymore. Over Christmas I had a week or so where the office was closed and I wasn’t busy with family stuff, and I tried to actually do some patreon writing, but I didn’t get very far at all.

I checked with the doctor about increasing my ADHD meds. Apparently A) I need to see a psych doctor to change the prescription and B) my blood pressure was high (got a pill for that now, it’s better) and since the ADHD meds raise blood pressure, it’s unlikely that they’ll approve an increase. Still have to try, but it’s not looking promising.

I can’t cut back on the work hours, I’m just barely making deadlines as it is, and the pay is too good to ignore.. But I can finally afford to pay off some of my debts. I can contribute more to the household. I signed up for health insurance! That’s a huge deal. Like, if I break an arm, I won’t immediately go into bankruptcy over the course of the ambulance ride to the hospital.

So, what do I do? I don’t want to neglect you guys after all you’ve carried me through. But it’s been shown that I can’t deliver content for you right now, either. And since I switched over to the monthly model (and checked the box that makes it so you can’t switch back, like a dummy) patreon will keep charging you guys whether or not I post stuff. I don't want to charge you if I'm not providing anything. I can pause the patreon, but that seems like a big, dangerous step to take… especially considering I don’t know how long this job will last. It seems stable enough, but you hear about companies that abruptly shut down with little to no warning all the time, especially internet-based ones…

Though, since I haven’t been writing new stuff, I haven’t been making any of the early access stuff public, either. I think, to start with, I’ll be releasing the current early access stuff publicly, one at a time. When the buffer runs dry, I guess I’ll have to make a serious decision about what to do from there.