Chapter 59.1- Doom Days

XXXX- SIRIUS BLACK

He tossed his attention from side to side, trying to find his cheeky little godson in this massive hall. Well, little was not a good word for Harry anymore. Somehow he was almost Sirius’ height and he wasn’t even Seventeen yet. He couldn’t have gotten those genes from James— James had always been the smallest of them all. Well, apart from the rat, but who cared about the rat. He found a familiar nest of black hair and just about heard the laughter that escaped his lips next. James, Sirius thought before stopping himself. Harry. Fuck it you old mutt, that’s Harry.

Don’t be weird. Harry doesn’t deal well with weird. He doesn’t like it much either. Sirius, when he had met him in his third year, had expected a different dynamic. A father—son relationship where he did his best to do all the things James would have wanted his son to have done for him but couldn’t do himself for obvious reasons, But Sirius was not made to be a father. That was why he had run off. He could have stayed in Grimmauld. Been close enough to Harry for weekly visits, even if they could’t stretch it for daily. But he couldn’t deal with the pressure,

He was a coward. Maybe that was why he did not blame Remus for his own cowardice. Yes, Remus had abandoned James’ son to those muggles, but Sirius could not guarantee that he would not have done the same. Especially in the middle of all that grief. James had been his brother even more than Regulus had, and Sirius had taken years to find himself again without Prongs there to keep him anchored. So, was it not a surprise when Harry reached out after going no-contact for a while.

Sirius suspected that Harry had figured him out for the fraud he was and wanted nothing to do with him. It had hurt, but even that he had been able to rationalise as being for the best. And then Harry had come back. And not just come back, Harry had secured his freedom. All the fears he had about him had ended up being for naught. Harry did not need a father. Sirius did not need to step into James’ shoes like that. All Harry needed was an older brother, and when hit came to that, while Sirius had not been the best to poor Reggie, he was confident he was doing better with Harry.