Chapter 49.4- Doom Days

Of course, finding the answer to that one was not merely a question that could be answered by just reading books and seeing what sticked but seeing as I was basically stuck in magical probation until Pomphrey declared me fit to cast, it was the best option I had available. And so I moved from the advanced transfiguration texts to a charm treatise where I struggled to understand every other concept. I could understand the words, and what they meant but they were just put together in a manner that made it difficult for me to genuinely believe that they were not consciously chosen to obfuscate, mislead, and confuse.

One paragraph would disagree with the next and then the one after would somehow manage to agree with both and it was treated like it was normal. And it was not even a failing of the author. All the advanced charm books were basically like that. Maybe if our relationship was in a better state, I could go ask Flitwick for help, but the thought of apologizing to the man for something so trivial galled me. I would not be doing it, and that was that.

Sir charms was a no-go, I thought as I slammed the book down on to the desk.

“No luck with these ones either?” Sirius asked.

“None.”

“Well, I did tell you. The only one in my family who’d had any chance of understanding the books on the lot shelf was my late Greataunt Cassioupia and she was insane.”

“More insane than the regular Black?” I asked, and he chortled, lips falling into an easy smile as he prepared his retort.

“No such thing as a regular Black, Harry. You should know this. Each and every one of us was broken in more than a few ways, uniquely so” He said. I was happy that at least he didn’t clam up when someone brought up his family anymore, or that he didn’t use start spitting with rage. At least now he was able to approach things with nuance. If only mental health was a field of magic I could specialize in.

“What are you even trying to achieve?” He asked, next. “Maybe if I know the broad goal, I can help you find the tools for achieving it” His offer made sense, I couldn’t lie. Besides, trying on my own had led to nothing useful so I might as well just ask for help.

“I’m trying to find an equalizer. Voldemort has decades on me when it comes to the Dark Arts or even most conventional forms of magic. I need to find something that he isn’t a true Master at that I could gain outsized results from within a year or more so much so that I would be able to stand up to him using that thing. I don’t need to be able to beat him, not yet. But I do need to be able to at least force him to retreat more often than not”

“Well, I can tell you both for free that that particular search won’t yield any fruits” Dumbledore said, practically hopping into the room.