The Book of Solomon - Chapter 1

“Ugh, my head. The hell did I drink last night?”

A man, well, more of a young man really, groaned in agony as he rolled in place and held his head in his hands in a vain attempt to reduce the pounding headache. He kept his eyes closed as each beat of his heart made the pressure in his head feel like it would pop his eyeballs out of his skull.

“Ugh, worst, hangover, ever.”

Even worse than the hangover was that he couldn't even remember beginning to drink the previous night! Just how blackout drunk had he gotten?! He hadn't drank like that since his early twenties! The last time he could recall being so very very drunk was his twenty-first birthday. He remembered nothing of that night because a local bar happened to have an 'all you can drink' night. He'd gone in one minute after midnight and remembered nothing after the third rum and coke.

Oh, except begging a woman around his age to call him. So embarrassing!

He let out a groan and wished he could find a hole to hide in even though that happened almost thirty years ago. Fortunately, his head was starting to calm down as he distracted one pain with another. He cracked open his right eye just a tiny bit and instantly regretted it. A deep groan of discomfort rolled out of him before he complained to himself some more.

“The hell did I drink to be hallucinating?! What the fuck did you do drunk me?!”

Just cracking his eye open had given him a vision of dancing colors in a swirling kaleidoscope. Whatever he'd ingested was clearly one hell of a hallucinogenic if it was twisting his bedroom into a swirling rainbow of colors. Even just that brief glimpse decided to combine with his headache and punch him in the gut with a wave of nausea that he prayed wouldn't have his worshiping at the porcelain throne.

“God, kill me now.”

[I don't think that would be wise given the effort we went through to arrange this.]

If his eyes hadn't been closed tight, he would have blinked in surprise. As it was, he was incredibly incredulous as he stared at a floating message that he COULD SEE WITH HIS EYES CLOSED!

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

As he shouted, he opened his eyes and instantly regretted it as he slammed them shut once more. Even so, his stomach roils and whatever he'd had in it instantly travels back up his throat and burst out of him in a rain of nastiness.

[Ohhhhh, yeah, you might want to keep your eyes closed until the pain from the memory erasure goes away in a minute or so.]

He ignored the message he could still somehow see in an effort to spit out the disgusting remains lurking within his mouth still. Even after spitting everything out his mouth tasted horrid and he wanted nothing more than to brush his teeth and drown his tongue in mouth wash.

[Don't worry. The pain should fade right... about... now!]

As the, still impossible, box claimed, the headache quickly began to fade. The throbbing grew less and less painful and soon he didn't feel as if his eyeballs would pop out of his skull if he opened his eyelids. Though he still refused to do that until he was certain he was no longer hallucinating.

[Excellent! So, that's phase one completed. Now it's time to move onto phase 2! Oh! This is going to sting, just a tad.]

“No no nononononono!”

His complaints were cut off as he felt a pain that could only be described as a dull, chipped, and rusty knife being driven through his cerebellum repeatedly as it forced wave after wave of mind boggling information, instincts, and even muscle memory into his brain. He gripped his head and curled into the fetal position as he sobbed in agony.

[Yeah... No one seems to understand just how painful it is to rewire a human brain on the fly with new information. But hey! When it's over you should know some super nifty stuff!]

He couldn't even focus enough to actually read the latest message as the agony continued unabated. He couldn't even take a single moment to wonder at the strange esoteric knowledge being forced into his noggin. If it hadn't been so mind numbingly painful, he might have actually been thrilled at what he was gaining.

He didn't know how long it lasted, but after what felt like an eternity, the pain began to fade leaving him with a whole lot of new things rattling around within his mind. He didn't even get a chance to see what his pain and suffering had earned him before another message came in.

[Excellent! I know that sucked but at least it wasn't life threatening! Neither is this next bit but you might wish it was... Phase 3!]

He didn't even have the pretense of mind to beg for whatever was going to happen to not. His body instantly felt like it was on fire. Simultaneously it felt like it was being ripped apart by tiny sharp little mouths. His body thrashed as his muscles spasmed and he screamed. Oh did he scream! He screamed until his throat felt like it was ripping apart, yet he did not stop. Every scrap of his body was rebuilt and modified, changed all the way down to the genetic level.

He became someone else... something else.

[Alright! Looking good newbie! Now it's time for the last phase, phase 4 go!]

This time his entire body locked up as a pain he couldn't even fathom filled his entire being. He could even begin to describe in words what was happening to him or what hurt so much. Unlike the last few times, the pain seemed to come for nowhere and everywhere at once, all originating from somewhere deep inside of him that he hadn't known existed before that very moment.

Finally, mercifully, the pain fades away. Yet, the after effects remain as his body randomly twitches and jerks from the aftereffects.

[Good good! That's it, all done. Everything else from now on will be pain free, I promise.]

Voice still hoarse and rough from shouting he asks, “Who the hell are you? Why are you doing this?!”

[Ah! Right, introductions. Sorry, this is my first time and I'm just SO excited! I am your adjuster from Giuld Of Dimensional Saviors. Sometimes known as the God Guild. You filled out one of our job applications and were accepted! Congratulations!]

“I did no such fucking thing!”

[Sure you did! Just before you went to sleep! You filled out our form and hit the finalize button! We looked over your selections and your personal history. You seemed like a good fit so you were picked from among tens of billions who also applied.]

“What? I didn't fill out a job application!” He focused on his memories, choosing to ignore the new information and instead focus on the last thing he could remember before going to sleep. Yes, he remembered filling something out, “But that wasn't a job application! That was a silly fucking Interactive CYOA for a silly ecchi anime! How the fuck is that a job application?!”

[Hey! Don't blame us because you didn't take the warning at the beginning! It stated plainly that anyone filling out the form might be selected for a job!]

“Who the fuck would think that shit was real?! That's bullshit! A bunch of CYOA's say shit like that! It's part of the fun and story!”

[Yeah, well, clearly you're wrong.]

“FUCK YOU!”

[Hey hey! I get you're upset and still reeling from the pain of your adjustment and integration, but you keep talking like that and there will be consequences mister.]

He grit his teeth to bite back on the litany of swearing and yelling he wanted to unleash on the being behind the messages he was still seeing even with his eyes still closed tight. After several deep breaths to calm himself down, he finally asks, “Am I really going to that dragon and titty filled world?”

[That's better. You know you're lucky I'm new and you're my first. Some of the older Adjusters just do the adjustments without saying anything or giving any warnings. Just tons of pain and you're tossed into your new life. As for your question, no. You're not going there, you already are there.]

He instantly realized, “Oh god. The swirling rainbow of colors, I'm in that place between places, the hell was is called? The Gap?”

[No, that's a garbage clothing store. You're currently within the Dimensional Gap. Now I will give you the items you selected.]

He felt his clothing rustle as it was changed to something else. He hears the sound of at least two glass items clinking as the bump into each other within one of his pockets while the sound of plastic candy wrappers echoes from the other. Lastly, he feels a ring appear on his finger and a necklace drape around his neck.

[There we go! That's everything you selected on your application. Now. My job here is done but, since I am so kind, I will tell you two more things. First, I want to remind you of the goals you selected on your application, the defeat of the Beast of the Apocalypse and Building a Harem of 100 Women. Normally the Harem quest has not time limit, but given your race you've been given a limit of one hundred years.]

He groaned, “Oh god, why did I pick that Harem one? Oh, I know! Because I thought it was a goddamn joke and that seemed fucking funny at the time!”

[Aaaanyway. The last thing I want to let you know if you now have five minutes to get used to your changes and go over your new stuff before your adventure begins. Toodles!]

“Wait, what?”

However, this time there was no reply, instead there was just a timer slowly ticking down in the corner of his vision. He called out several more times, but even after wasting a minute there was no reply. He quickly decided to focus elsewhere and not waste more time. Instead, he delved into his mind and found himself marveling at just how much information it contained.

He knew with clarity the selections he'd made on the CYOA and he could now see how they were effecting him and what they'd given him. First and foremost, he was no longer human. He was now a Dhampire, half human half vampire. He had all the benefits of being a vampire with none of the drawbacks. That alone would have given him a fair level of strength in his new life, but there was so much more.

He opened his eyes and did his best to ignore the swirling rainbow of colors that surrounded him. Instead he looked at his hands, his much smoother and younger looking hands. Then he looked down. He could see past his now flat stomach, something he hadn't had since his thirties. Quickly lifting his shirt up and touching his chiseled abs sent a small thrill through him. After his metabolism slowed in his thirties he'd gained a bit of a beer gut, he'd never been super fat but it was still awesome to see it all gone and replaced by something so much better.

He'd gone from overweight forty-something approaching fifty to an absolutely ripped Dhampire teenage heartthrob. Running his tongue over his teeth he could feel that his incisors were slightly longer and sharper. As a Dhampire he didn't need to drink blood, but he could and he would gain strength from doing so.

Okay, next were his perks. He'd only taken four of them since abilities and items he'd picked made the rest pointless. Peak Body, Mind Protection, Soul Protection, and Scry Proof. They were pretty self explanatory. Peak Body made him ripped like he was a gym bro, though swimmer style, not body builder style. Mind and Soul protection prevented his mind and soul from being messed with in any fashion. Lastly, Scry Proof made it almost impossibly for anyone to learn anything about him through mystical means. Not impossible, just exceptionally hard.

Drawbacks... That's where he fucked up, big time. First, he'd taken a drawback that prevented him from using a weapon of his choice, permanently. As in, he couldn't even lift them. He'd chosen that one drawback ten times. Thankfully he was smart enough to not put swords on that list. He'd picked things like whips, glaives, nunchucks, mauls, hammers, and so on. Less common weapons so that one wasn't bad and mostly ended up as free points. Frankly, almost all of the best weapons in DxD were swords so it was free points. He also couldn't reveal any outside information on the canon story of DxD. Also free points since he'd never do that. It was the last three that he regretted the most.

First, he'd given up a lot of his personal memories. He had no idea what his name was or any real details of his personal life. Just vague information with no use like his previous age and profession, his family, and what his face used to look like. The last two were the worst... Eventful Start would have him run into someone from the cast right away and find himself in a tricky spot. But as long as he didn't do something monumentally stupid, his odds of living were excellent.

Horrible Start, on the other hand, meant he was in for a a bad time. The examples given had include being a target for murder by a fallen angel and running into a stray devil in the middle of a meal. If he didn't play it right he'd have a pretty good chance of dying...

If he hadn't picked some really cray shit with all the points he'd gained.

He'd only picked three powers, but each one of them was stupid broken. The first made him a complete savant at fist fighting. He could go from his current skill level of 'None' to 'Above Average' within just a few hours of practice. But, most importantly, it gave him the guaranteed ability to gain Touki later down the line. It also let him combine martial arts and magic to make special magical punches. It would take time to master them, of course, but not nearly as long as it would take others.

The next was a well of magical power. It gave him a vast reservoir of mana that would let him cast high level spells for six hours straight before depleting. Then every day at the stroke of midnight and noon his mana reserves were automatically replenished to full, no matter how massive he manages to grow them in the future. Additionally at the Witching Hour (midnight to three A.M.) and the Zenith Hour (noon to three P.M.) he had nigh infinite mana and his spells were automatically twice as strong. There was some other stuff about the sun and moon but the next broken bit is he now had ALL affinities when it came to magic.

The big downside? He had zero mana regeneration from that particular power. Meaning that without something else to help out, he could not regenerate mana at all. Naturally, he had something to fix that.

The last power was the most simple, but the most broken. Natural. The simple name belied the broken ability. Natural gave him an uncanny and natural aptitude with ALL of his abilities as if the talent was ingrained into his every action. It gave him absolute and perfect control over all of his abilities along with an instinctive mastery and knowledge of them. Using his new abilities would be as easy as breathing.

His next two abilities were called The Swordsman and The Mage. They were both similar to his fist fighting skill in that they gave him the ability to gain easier mastery over those two subjects. On top of that, The Swordsman gave him the ability to use ANY sword safely regardless of any possibly drawbacks or restrictions. The Mage gave him a large mana pool, added to the one he already had, as well as the ability to quickly and easily learn any spells. It also made it possible for him to easily reverse engineer other peoples spells, even ones normally limited to a specific bloodline. Though bloodline ones would be modified and not exact duplicates. He'd just find a way to mimic it without the bloodline. The coolest of all though was that The Mage amplified the effects of any magical items he wielded. No specific amount was given, but even if it was a small amount it would still be great.

Next, he'd given himself two Sacred Gears. He'd spent a long time trying to decide which Sacred Gear he wanted, then ended up choosing two. At first he'd been considering either Boosted Gear or Divine Dividing, maybe even both, which would have been hilarious! The problem was, Longinus class Sacred Gears had been expensive as hell and getting enough points would have been hard. Then, he'd decided he didn't want either. As cool as they were, they were too limited for his tastes. He liked flexability and utility. Neither of those dragons had much of that.

Instead, he'd chosen Annihilation Maker and Sword Birth. Annihilation Maker was wasted on the idiot who had it in the story. It could make ANY kind of monster the user imagined and he had one hell of an imagination! Then he'd picked Sword Birth for much the same reason. He could make any kind of demonic sword he could imagine. He could also imagine creating monsters with sword skills then arming them with demonic swords. He'd be a one man walking magically armed army.

Next up was the items he'd purchased. He'd spent a butt ton of points there and, checking his pockets, he found all of them. First was his clothing. A mages outfit that was self cleaning and repairing, capable of being enchanted, and would shapeshift into anything he wanted. It also had excellent defenses and the ability to absorb any energy and give it to him in any form he desired. Including mana.

His necklace would regenerate his health by one percent every five seconds, where one hundred percent was his body in perfect health and unblemished. If he was already in perfect health, it would instead regenerate his mana at the same rate of one percent per five seconds. In short, his ungodly mana pool could refill from bone dry to full in just over eight minutes.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather large vial filled with a viscous red liquid. Dragon's Blood. In short, if he drank the entire bottle of blood, which was two full doses, he would become a being akin to Artoria of FATE fame. Just one does would give him a metaphorical core that produced vast amounts of mana just by breathing, a high magical resistance, and the Mana Burst ability. Taking the second dose would further amplify the capacity and regeneration rate of his core making it nearly impossible to run out.

On top of all of that, his body would become significantly stronger. His skin would be like steel, he would no longer need any sustenance, and he would no longer age... which didn't matter since he was immortal to begin with. Additionally, yes there was more, He would gain a decent healing factor that would let him regenerate even limbs in just a matter of days, even faster if he poured more mana into the healing ability. It would take losing over a quarter of his brain to kill him now. That was significant.

He pulled out the stopper on the vial and immediately began to drink the thick blood. It tasted like hot copper and something undefinable. He didn't notice that as the blood began to take effect and Natural filled him in on how to use his new Mana Burst skill, that the timer had finally hit zero.

He moved onto the last three items. First was a pocket dimension closet with an infinite number of perfectly tailored outfits from simple jeans all the way to high quality costumes. Anything he could imagine was inside of his closet. It might be redundant with his mage clothes being able to shapeshift, but it would be super weird to wear the same thing at all times, even if it changed looks and stayed perfectly clean. Plus, he was secretly hoping it would have the option of giving him clothing that would fit him if he were to shapeshift, say into a girl he was dating. Then he could give her the clothing.

From his pocket he pulled a handful of small blue candies that were lightly glowing through their wrappers. These were yet another completely busted item he'd gotten his hands on by spending a lot of money. Rare Candies.

Much like their namesake from Pokemon, when eaten the candies would make him stronger. Though there were no 'levels' so rather than leveling up like in a game, each candy would give him an entire six months of experience. Each candy eaten would give him six months of experience in physical, magical, technical, and mental growth. It would be as if he spent six solid months putting in hard work to the best of his abilities learning new skills or spells that he would have logically gotten.

Now this didn't apply to every aspect of his life or take into account surprise things like gaining a teacher. It was just a boost based on the natural progression he would have made all on his own. Best of all? Anyone could eat the candies and gain the effects.

He had twenty of them, enough for ten full years of gains.

Which brought him to the last item he'd bought, the single most expensive one. Though the item looked like nothing more than a simple silver ring, it was a powerfully enchanted item that would turn any basic magic user into a total powerhouse, no matter how weak they were. It would turn a Low Class Mage into at least a High Class one.

The ring held an entire suite of enchantments, the weakest of which was a minor boost to his constitution making him a bit hardier. No, it was crazy because it provided a 100% increase in spell power, an 80% reduction in mana costs, a 200% boost in casting speed, and a massive, ungodly, 600% boost in supernatural energy recovery.

That's right. With the Ring, his shiney new dragon core combined with his well of power, he now, essentially, had infinite mana. He would have to spent truly absurd amounts of mana to even notice a drop in his reserves. He might be going to the world of tits and dragons where he was required to kill Trihexia, but by god he was going to be broken as fuck doing it!

Oh, but that wasn't all the ring did! Oh no. Those boosts were just the beginning. On top of those increases, anytime he cast a spell, he could choose to cast them two additional times at no extra cost or casting time. Still not done. It also removed the casting time of any spell that he mastered to a certain degree, and, lastly, he could precast up to five spells per day and store them in the ring for instant use later.

He smirked to himself while returning all but one of the Rare Candies to his pocket. He quickly unwrapped it and tossed the glowing blue treat into his gob. Even with Natural giving him so much skill, there was nothing wrong with getting even more skill. Also, Natural didn't teach him specific spells and he had NO idea how to actually cast a teleportation spell. However, that would obviously be one of the first things he'd want to learn. Instant travel anywhere is just too convenient to not want to learn!

“RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!”

Just as the candy enters his mouth the very air around him shakes and trembles from the disatrously loud roar. The shock causes him to swallow just as the candy hits the back of his throat. The Rare Candy wedges itself in place and cuts off his air supply. Even as he slams his hand against his chest to try to dislodge the offending sweet, he spins his head around and stares in abject horror. In all his need to check his gains to make sure he was complete broken, he'd forgotten two very important things.

First and foremost, the massive monster that now had him choking. Flying directly toward him was the monster that haunted the Dimensional Gap. The strongest being in all of the DxD mythos. The Dragon of Dragons, the True Red Dragon God Emperor, the True Dragon, the Apocalypse Dragon, the Dragon of Dreams.

Great Red. A mother fucking dragon so powerful he could defeat any single being including the likes of Sirzechs, Adjuka, the freaking Biblical God, no ALL gods. His only match in strength was Ophis the Dragon God of Infinity.

But it got even worse. One of the reasons he'd been able to afford so many powerful items and abilities is because he'd done something he now considered to be exceptionally idiotic. Something that made the giant ass dragon bearing down on him with a displeased look on its mug even more dangerous.

Every single being with DxD was 50% stronger than their canon counterparts. While that didn't mean piss all to the locals, it meant everything to him because he didn't get the same boost. With none of his stuff he'd be the weakest living human in existence, even weaker than fucking Issei!

So he now had a dragon, that was already nearly invincible, now even more nearly invincible, bearing down on him and looking completely pissed off. All while he was choking to death on the Rare Candy stuck in his throat.

Great Red grew closer, though it was impossible to judge distance and speed in the Gap, he could tell by how much bigger the dragon was getting. He started slamming his hands into his stomach to try and force enough air into the throat to dislodge the lump of magical hardened sugar currently killing him. As Great Red gets bigger, his self harm in the name of survival grows more desperate, he even activates his Mana Burst to make himself stronger so he can hit himself harder!

Of course, the moment he starts putting out such a massive amount of mana, Great Red lets out a massive roar and flaps his four massive wings even harder to increase his speed even further. All he could think as darkness started encroaching on his vision was, 'This is bullshit! No way in hell should I be facing Great Red! I didn't pick the suicidal hard start goddammit!

With one final massive blow to his stomach, the Rare Candy pops out of his mouth and into the air. It's only thanks to his vastly improved reflexes that he manages to snatch it out of the air and put it back in his mouth. He quickly crunches down on it with his teeth then swallows the much smaller pieces. His eyes gloss over as information floods his mind. In seconds its as if he'd lived a full six months experimenting with his magic and abilities. His muscles grow a little stronger, his massive mana pool increases a fair amount, and his repertoire of magic goes from nothing to a fairly large array of different spells. Most importantly, TELEPORTATION!

His focus returns to reality, only seconds having passed in the real world. Although, as his gaze focused on the massive wall of red scales tipped with claws bigger than his entire body, he realized it was probably a bit too late to cast a teleportation spell, even with how quickly he could do so.

Great Red's massive forehand slams into him with bone shattering force. Only three things keep the blow from being instantly fatal to him. The first, Great Red observed the mantra of not using a cannon to kill a mosquito and therefore used what he considered to be the minimal force to obliterate a bug. The second, the man, who couldn't remember his name, was still using his Mana Burst making himself vastly more durable than he was without it. And Lastly, his nifty mage clothing could be set to absorb any form of energy, including kinetic energy. It was good enough to nullify the kinetic force of a bullet and render it harmless, but he wasn't exactly getting hit with a bullet, was he?

Simultaneous to the blow, Great Red opens a rift into the underworld behind the traveler. Even after surviving the blow, with multiple fractured bones, internal bleeding, a punctured lung, and having the entire front of his body turned into one giant bruise, he now finds himself falling through the air from a great height while staring up into the shrinking portal and the undeniably smug mug of Great Red.

He's instantly enraged. Who looks so goddamn smug after slapping the equivalent of a fly?! That's just all kinds of fucking petty!

“I'll be back you scaly bitch! Then we'll see who fucking slaps who!”

If anything, the smug look on Great Red only grows and the falling man can practically hear the mocking words of the dragon, though it says nothing aloud. Before he can yell at it more, the portal closes leaving him falling through the air.

A couple of minutes ago he would be screaming in agony from the damage he'd just taken and panicking while trying to find a way to survive the fall. After what he'd suffered though, the pain of his current injuries was nothing. Oh, it still hurt, but it wasn't enough to blind him to everything else. To that end, he ends his usage of Mana Burst and instead casts a simply flight spell, halting his fall. As he stops, he grunts and cancels the spell while releasing his wings, “Forgot about those.”

Who could blame him? He'd only been a Dhampire for less than an hour and he had a LOT on his mind. He lazily floated in the air as he began pumping a large quantity of mana throughout his body. His wounds rapidly heal, bones knitting together, his lung draining of blood and repairing, the giant bruise he'd become fading away. In less than a minute he'd dumped half of his mana into healing himself but was completely back to full health. Not that it mattered as he felt his reserves refilling quickly. Quick enough that he'd be topped off in a minute or two.

From where he was floating, he could see a great distance in every direction. Given that there was no curvature on the horizon, he came to a single conclusion, “Asshole couldn't even send me to Earth, he had to send me to the underworld.”

At least it was daylight out so he wasn't completely blind. In the distance he could see the unmistakable shining gray mass that was a concrete jungle, better known as a city. There was just one problem, it was a fucking underworld city and he had no idea who would be in charge of it. Two factions called this place home, the Devils and the Fallen Angels. Neither of which he was associated with. Technically he wasn't associated with anyone, but by virtue of his race they would assume he was either with the Carmilla or Tepes Factions of vampires.

He had no idea what the relationship between the Vampire factions and the other factions were at this point. Hell, he hadn't seen the anime since he was in his twenties! He only even remembered anything because of browsing the wiki while he was working on the CYOA form. Reading the wiki pages had jogged his memory and given him information he hadn't had before. Like, he'd never even known Vampires had been introduced! He'd planned to pick a Pure Blood Vampire race, but then found out Dhampire's were just straight up better.

So, going to the city... Yeah he should definitely avoid it until he had much more information. There was a solution to that! He dug into his pocket and pulled out another plastic wrapped Rare Candy. With it he could get six more months of progress and get amazing with things like Scrying magic while tempering the other things he'd already learned, such as his elemental magics. He unwrapped the candy and tossed it into his mouth...

“Hey! What do you think you're doing?!”

Only for the temperature to suddenly drop to below freezing while a loud feminine voice shouted at him from behind. Yet again the Rare Candy lodged in his throat instantly cutting off his air supply once more. Even as he reached up to his throat on instinct, he spun around in the air to see who was confronting him.

His eyes bulged in his skull, though weather from the choking or the sight of the person in front of him was debatable. He preferred to think it was because of the choking rather than the sight of the short voluptuous woman wearing what looked like a magical girl outfit. He knew the woman, how could he not when she was one of the four most powerful devils?!

Serafall Leviathan.

Seriously, what the fuck was with his luck?! First that big red jackass and now the magical girl that could freeze all of Japan if she wanted. Given how cold the air around them was he feared she was preparing to turn him into vampcicle if he even moved wrong. Worse, he had no idea how strong he was compared to her. His Rare Candy experience hadn't been capable of learning how to sense the power of other people because it required OTHER PEOPLE.

Well, none of that mattered if he actually choked to death so he politely ignored her question and once again began abusing himself in an attempt to dislodge the Rare Candy from his throat. He pounded on his stomach while Serafall stared at him with a look that could only be translated as 'wtf?!'.

As she stared at him, he stopped hitting himself and held up the candy wrapper, crinkling it in between his fingers while gesturing at his throat with his other hand. It took her a moment but he saw when she understood as her eyes widened, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head frantically in response. She rolled her eyes, “I've never heard of a vampire choking to death! Do you guys even need to breathe?”

Obviously he couldn't fucking answer and he guessed his face had turned an interesting shade of blue, or perhaps purple, as the Satan of Foreign Affairs rolls her eyes, “If this is some cheap trick to try and cop a feel or something... Well, enjoy it because it'll be the last thing you ever feel.”

He glared at her the best he could while being unable to breath. Honestly, at this point, he was getting used to choking on the fucking Rare Candies and couldn't help fearing that this would become a running gag. He did NOT want to choke another eighteen times! He hated to think what something like that might do to warp his mind in scary ways.

Serafall let out an rather rude and loud put upon sigh and floated over toward him. She curled her dainty little hand into a fist then slammed it into his gut hard enough to fold him over her arm. On the bright side? His mouth dropped open and the Rare Candy came flying out with a loud wet POP! He also managed to react in time and catch it. On the not so good side? His stomach now hurt like hell.

Serafall, uncaring of his clear pain and discomfort, casually floated backward leaving him floating in the air still bent nearly in half. Honestly, catching the candy had been pure instinct with zero thought behind it. It took him a few more moments to recover and slowly unfold himself from the position Serafall put him in. Silently, like it was the most common thing in the world, he ignored her and carefully wrapped the Rare Candy back in its wrapper and stuffed it in a different pocket from the others. He didn't want to accidentally mix the 'tainted' one in with the others. No way in hell he wasn't going to eat it first chance he got!

Once the precious candy was secure, he focused back on Serafall, took a deep cleansing breath, and then, as calmly as he could, asked, “I'm sorry, what was it you wanted? I was a little distracted what with the almost dying and all.”

Serafall gave him a flat and clearly unimpressed look as she said, “I want to know what a Vampire is doing in my territory. More importantly, I want to know why that Vampire was deposited here by GREAT FUCKING RED of all things.”

Now, normally Serafall would have introduced herself in a less confrontational way like she preferred. It was always nice when her playing around as a magical girl lowered peoples wariness around her. It also made people underestimate her and that was a tactical advantage worth having. However, this was a completely different situation seeing as how the Apocalypse Dragon had ripped a hole in reality and tossed a vampire, of all things, out of the Dimensional Gap within a short distance from her home city. Sure ,by human standards a thousand plus kilometers wasn't close, but by supernatural standards that was right next door.

“Dhampire.”

“Excuse me?”

“I'm not a vampire, I'm a dhampire.”

If anything that clarification did nothing to help the situation. In fact, Serafalls gaze became frosty. Literally. He had frost slowly forming on his clothing from her gaze. He shuddered under the effectiveness of her look and quickly moved to answer properly, “Look, I didn't come here by choice. I'm not sure how I ended up in the Dimensional Gap but I am sure that big 'fuck off' dragon deliberately slapped me here and I don't know, or care, why.”

Serafall's gaze lightened up slightly as she looked him over from head to toe. After taking him in she commented, “Given that you just received the bitch slap of all bitch slaps, you're in remarkably fine health.”

“Benefits of a healthy diet.”

He instantly wanted to slap himself for the comment. What the fuck was wrong with... Oh. Right. Teenager in front of an authority figure. Sarcasm was the order of the day as his current brain chemistry and hormones demanded. Fuck.

Serafalls gaze went flat again and the frost was back. Which... fair. He was being a bit of a dick. She continued to stare at him as she asked, “Who are you?”

Ah! This he could answer honestly and with ease, “I have no idea!”

Why that came out in a chipper tone, he couldn't tell. But it clearly threw Serafall off for a moment before she rolled her eyes, “Nice try kid, but going for the amnesia line? Really? That's the cliché of cliche's, I would know!”

He shrugged his shoulders in a 'what can you do' gesture, “I dunno what to tell you, but I have no idea who I am, where I'm from, or even how old I am exactly. But I do know who you are, Serafall Leviathan the Satan in charge of Foreign affairs. One of the four Satans along with Adjuka, Falbium, and Sirzechs.”

“So, you're sticking with amnesia and limiting it to only your personal memories? C'mon kid. That's obviously not going to work. Especially not with you being so unaffected by it. Now, who are you and why were you messing around in the gap? Be honest and you'll be in less trouble.”

“I don't like repeating myself... huh, learn something new. Anyway. Last time, no idea who I am, or was, or will be.” He made a show of patting down and turning out his pockets to show that he had nothing but candy on his person, “See? Not even a wallet with an ID card in it. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll just go somewhere you're not.”

“I'm afraid I can't let you go until I know exactly what's going on.”

He rolled his eyes and prepared to cast his teleportation spell. He had no co-ordinates so he was going on his memories from where he'd lived in the United States for a majority of his life. As his mana swiftly built Serafall shouted, “Don't do it!”

“I'm gunna do it!” The spell began to form.

“Don't do it!” He voice rose along with her magic.

“I'm gunna do it!” The spell neared completion.

“Don't do it!” Ice crystals formed in the air as she unleashed her power in full.

“Don't do it!” A magic circle appeared beneath his feet.

“That's what I said!” Icicles formed in the air, their wickedly sharp points aimed directly at him.

“Damn, didn't work.”

“Wait, did you just try to Daffy Duck me?!” She looked not just incredulous but also insulted and off guard.

“Yup! Bye!” His circle completed and he vanished leaving behind a still surprised Serafall.

As the white light of the teleportation cleared from his vision he let out a deep sigh. That was stressful as hell. Once calmed slightly, he quickly glanced around, while retracting his wings, to make sure no one had seen him. He was in a gated community so it wasn't like there was a ton of foot traffic. He spotted no one to his left, and looking right, he froze. There, a dozen or so feet away was a child, no older than five or six, sitting on a plastic trike staring at him with wide eyes.

Okay, so he'd been spotted by a kid and a quick look around showed no signs of parents. Good. He knew how to do a simple hypnotism spell that would let him modify memories, if necessary, because he knew the Supernatural World was hidden from mundane folks. However, he wasn't about to use something like that on a child. So, he did what he thought best.

He gave the kid a wink, then turned and ran like hell. Mana Burst roared to life and his speed drastically increased. Mana Burst would let a normal human run at a speed of over one hundred and fifty kilometers an hour, about triple the speed of the fastest human runner. As a Dhampire he was already faster than that, so the Mana Burst made him three times faster and turned him into a veritable blur.

He ran for some time until he came to a stop in the middle of downtown Atlanta in one of the major shopping centers where there was plenty of foot traffic. He made sure he was off to the side out of sight and shifted his outfit into something less conspicuous while ending his use of Mana Burst. No need to broadcast himself to any nearby supernatural folk. His outfit shifted in a pair of nice sneakers, blue jeans, a black long sleeved button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a dark blue vest, and a white tie.

He ran his fingers through his hair to push it back, his natural shapeshifting from his vampire heritage letting him shorten it and turn it blonde while his red eyes changed to blue. A quick check in a mirror showed a teenager with incredibly good looks wearing a nice outfit that showed off how fit he was while still looking semi-formal.

He made his way into the largest mall in downtown Atlanta, well technically it was the Buckhead district but whatever. The Lenox mall was huge and a great place to walk around lost for a bit while figuring out what he planned to do next. He had no idea what kind of skills and magic could be used to track him down but he hoped mixing into a place hugely populated by mundane folks would buy him some peace and time.

The very first thing he needed to figure out? What the hell he was going to call himself. He had no idea what his name used to be and he needed something to call himself. After that he should probably look into establishing a legal identification. A little hypnosis would make that process infinitely easier to accomplish. The might of bureaucracy was no match for the might of magic!

That only left picking his name out. He was leaning toward an English name versus a Japanese one, even if Japan is where all the action would be going down. He was going to put off thinking about how to interact with that particular mess until MUCH later. Though, as he recalled, Issei should get getting ganked by that fallen babe sometime soon. He had picked the option to start at the beginning of canon so Issei should die either today or tomorrow, he supposed.

Eh, not his problem and Rias would resurrect the horndog anyway.

Name! Focus! Ohhhhhh. How amusing would it be to give himself a biblical name? An independent Dhampire who consorts with Devils and has a name like Gabriel. Though maybe not that one, Gabriel was a stacked babe in this world, because of course they were. What about... Solomon? Heh. That seemed fitting. The ancient King had something like a thousand wives.. or some mix of wives and concubines. Considering he was required to have a harem of at least one hundred women within the next one hundred years, maybe some of the King's charisma would rub off on him?

Also, didn't Solomon have something to do with demon summoning and control? Right! The Lesser Key of Solomon and the Ars Goetia. Seeing as how there were seventy-two Pillar Families and the Ars Goetia was about seventy-two demons, it seemed all the more fitting to call himself Solomon.

Right! He was now Solomon! Or Saul for short.

Solomon smirked to himself as he picked a name he felt was both amusing and quite heretical in its own way. He'd think about a last name later, it was just good to have an identity of some sort, even if he made it up just now.

Now came the real problem, what the hell was he going to do next? He didn't need to worry about food, sustenance wasn't an issue for him anymore thanks to the Dragon's Blood potion. That didn't mean he didn't want food though! He also needed a place to live. In short, he needed money. Robbing a bank shouldn't be an issue for him. Mundane security wouldn't be an issue to bypass at all.

However! He expected such places would have supernatural protections on them. Otherwise any two-bit mage could rob any bank blind, which would draw a ton of mundane attention to the issue. He was also pretty certain that at least the heads of governments would know about the supernatural as well. It wouldn't make much sense if they didn't. That was just supposition though.

Hmmm that might make his attempt to forge an identity much harder. Something to keep in mind.

He clicked his tongue and muttered to himself, “Shit, this is harder than I thought it would be.”

“Ain't that the truth?”

He jerked violently at the unexpected, and familiar, feminine voice coming from his right. He jerked his head to the side and stared dumbly at Serafall as she calmly walked next to him. In the interveneing time she, much like himself, had changed outfits into something less conspicuous. In her case she chose a snazzy business outfit with a modest skirt and short heels. It looked like the kind of outfit he would expect her to wear on official business.

Seeing her standing next to him, he clicked his tongue in annoyance, “I'd hoped it would take you longer to find me.”

She let out a loud and very un-ladylike snort, “Tracing a clumsy teleport like yours is easy as pie. Then you left a blazing trail of mana that led right to this place like a neon sign. Honestly any idiot with two brain cells and a bit of magical skill could have followed your trail.”

Solomon grunted, “I'm still getting used to magic, so sue me.”

She gave him the stink-eye, “Don't tempt me. I could easily sue you for emotional distress on the behalf of my constituents. For almost all the people living in my city seeing the Apocolypse Dragon peering out of a hole in reality is quite traumatizing.”

Solomon very visibly rolled his eyes, “Cry me a river. At least he didn't bitch slap any of them like he did me.” He halfheartedly glared at her, noting with some satisfaction that he had to look down to do so, “The hell do you want with me?”

She puffed out her cheeks in annoyance, “The same as I wanted before! An explanation!”

Solomon grunted, “Fine. Here's what I got for you. I woke up within the gap in agony, suffered it for a while, then came too without any memories of who I was before. Then that big red bitch came along and slapped me into the underworld. There I was confronted by a Devil who didn't listen to what I had to say and dismissed it all out of hand. I ran away, came here, decided to call myself Solomon, and then she hunted me down again. That's all I got. Go away now.”

Serafall gave him a flat look that caused the air temperature to drop a few degrees, “Solomon? Really?”

He shrugged his shoulders while giving her an unrepentant smirk, “Yup.” he popped the P.

Serafall's annoyed look went nowhere, in fact it became worse, “You honestly expect me to believe the bull you're shoveling?”

“Oh, not at all. Like all women, you've made up your mind and nothing anyone anywhere says will make you change your mind. Even if they provide incontrovertible evidence.”

Her glare intensified, “The hell did you just say?”

“Ah, that's my queue to leave again.”

“Don't you dare try to get away. There's no way you can escape me. You'd have to find somewhere with no people to teleport and I'll capture you the moment there are no witnesses.”

Solomon hummed in thought then nodded, “You know what, you're right.”

“Finally, you see sense.”

Solomon's smirk did not fill her with confidence, nor did what he did next. Solomon turned away from her and called out in a voice infused with magic meant to spread and draw attention to himself, “LADIES AND GENTLEMAN IF I COULD HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!”

The constant murmur of dozens of conversations going all at once slowly faded as the people nearby all stopped what they were doing to focus on Solomon. There had to be at least a hundred or so people within earshot of him, which was perfect. He completely ignored Serafall and the question she hissed at him in a low voice, “What do you think you're doing?!”

Solomon gave the shorter woman a wide smile as he continued to speak to the crowd. His voice carried much easier in the silence, though he continued with the subtle use of magic, “Thank you everyone! Today is a very important day.” He kept his focus on Serafall as the witnesses murmured a little before he continued, “For as long as I can remember, I have been alone.” A total of less than a few hours, “Today I hope to change that.”

He dropped to one knee in front of Serafall. The obvious and classic pose causing a titter among the female populous watching and knowing grins from the men. Solomon clasped Serafalls hands in his own, ignoring the fact that they were cold enough to form ice crystals on his own hands. She was blushing violently, unused to being on the other end of the teasing. Solomon gave her his brightest and most 'loving' smile, “Serafall, light of my life, heart of my heart, will you marry me?”

Serafall looking for all the world like a blushing young woman to the crowd, was in fact furious and embarrassed beyond belief as she glared hatefully at Solomon. Her voice was a quiet hiss that promised pain in his future, though she kept it low enough to not be heard as she asked him through gritted teeth, “What the hell do you think you're doing?!”

“What am I doing? Why, I'm making a scene so I can do this!”

To Serafall's horror, a teleportation circle appeared beneath Solomon as he continued to kneel. All in full sight of over a hundred people. Already she could hear the murmur or surprise growing at what they were witnessing. Before she could react, Solomon let go of her hand and vanished in a muted flash of light that made it all the easier for people to see him vanish from sight.

Solomon snickered at the predicament he'd left Serafall to deal with. Oh, he was certain he'd be in deep shit for what he'd just done, but he didn't care in that moment. No, he just wanted to get away so that he could figure out what he was going to do. To that end, he teleported again, going somewhere completely random. Then again, and again, and again. He teleported over a hundred times, never focusing on a specific location or caring if he was seen. In fact, he hoped he was as it would mean more work for Serafall to clean up.

Though he was NOT stupid enough to do something like dive bomb a live broadcast. That would be far more than they could likely cover up. Best to only be in a little shit than in a whole heap of it.

Now that he was done randomly jumping around, he took a moment to take in his surroundings. Given the sign boards written in Kanji, at least he thought it was Kanji, then he was likely somewhere in Japan. Although, he supposed it could be China. He didn't know enough to tell the difference between the two written languages. Though he was certain Chinese characters were more... square? Well, whatever.

He started to walk down the sparsely populated street. As he passed a tired looking businessman in a rumpled suit, he lifted his hand and examined the wallet he now held. Pick pocketing was easy as pie when you used a little bit of light telekinesis. He flipped the folded piece of letter open and looked at the few bills stored within it. Seeing the familiar symbol for Yen cemented his supposition that he was within Japan somewhere.

He plucked the cash out of the wallet and tossed the now empty billfold over his shoulder without a care. He folded the thirty thousand yen in small bills and stuffed it into his pocket. When he pulled his hand out it held the Rare Candy he'd attempted to eat before Serafall nearly killed him via surprise. He unwrapped it and carefully held the sticky treat between his fingers.

He looked left. Clear.

He looked right. Clear.

Behind? Clear.

In front? Clear.

Above?! Clear.

Below? Also clear.

With no one close by and his head on a swivel to make sure it stayed that way, Solomon carefully placed the Rare Candy in his mouth and bit down on it. This time he was focused on improving his magic and his use of his two Sacred Gears. Expecially his use of Annihilation Maker. If he was going to lose his tail permanently, he believed that particular Sacred Gear was the key.

Swallowing the candy had him experience another six months of constantly training in learning how to use not just his magic and Sacred Gears, but also a lot of practice with the swords he summoned with Sword Birth. He was no master swordsman, yet, but he would definitely be considered skilled. His mana pool grew yet again as did his physical strength and his skill with his innate abilities. All in all, it was now as if he'd lived a full year with all of his abilities and it showed.

He stepped into a side alley to get out of sight. A little focus within his mind along with a quarter of his reserves and his shadow began to writhe a little bit. Slowly a small creature rose from his shadow. It looked like a flat circle with four thin legs growing out of it. The top of the flat disk was colored red, but otherwise the thing was solid black.

The little creature quickly scampered up his pant leg, climbing him with the ease a spider might. It crawld over his chest and onto his left arm until it arrived at his wrist. The creature wrapped its four thin legs around his write and lay itself flat until it looked like nothing more than a wrist watch. The creature was weak, easily killed, and so small it might make one wonder where the massive amount of mana he'd used in its creation went. That would be the special ability of the monster. Now that it was wrapped around his wrist, it completely erased Solomon's magical signature from being emitted unconsciously.

In short, he couldn't be tracked as easily anymore! At least as long as he didn't use things like his Mana Burst. With his ability to be tracked drastically weakened, he teleported once more and then quickly ran from his arrival point. At this point it was late at night where he was, Japan still it looked like, so the streets were only populated by some people on their way home from work a little late.

After running for a bit, he spotted a park and make directly for it. It might not be the best place to get some sleep, but he had nowhere near enough for a hotel... maybe. He had no idea. But the park looked decently sized and he was sure he could find a decent spot to get some sleep. He calmly walked down the path into the center of the park. He heard some voices ahead and as he turned the corner and came upon a large fountain, he froze in shock.

There, floating in the air, was a woman with large black feathered wings with her back facing toward him. Across from her he could see a young man with a purple spear of light jutting out of his stomach. He recognized this moment, this scene and he had only one thing to say.

“You've GOT to be fucking kidding me!”

-----Line Break-----

AN

Yes, I am alive. Sorry for not posting sooner but the next chapter for Mad Doctor has been a pain in my ass to write. I'm halfway through my third rewrite for it. The first version was more like a recording of canon and boring as hell. The second was just trash. The third is going better though! I'll hopefully finish it soon.

Now, as for this. I have no idea what to call this so suggestions welcome. As for why? Well, like the MC, I found a random interactive DxD CYOA and played around with it for giggles. Then the MC's build wouldn't leave me alone, so I wrote his introduction.

Now, I tried to make him act a bit like a teenager going through some deep shit while trying not to loose his mind. So, he might come off as an asshole. However, the snark will probably never go away for Solomon.

Be sure to let me know what you think of the concept! And yes, I am fully aware he is OP. Just remember, everyone else in the world is 50% stronger than canon, but his power level is not boosted the same. So, he's OP, but not bitch slapping Sirzechs right away OP.

Later!