B2 17-18 - Stick to the Script and Fursona Solo Episode

17 - Stick to the Script

Back in the green room, when Bianca gave me my script, she’d been very, very clear about this part. The small talk was the highest risk because I’d have to talk, but the meeting might be the most usefulfor figuring out APPEAL’s plans. Sure enough, everything Su-Bin said qualified as either important, very important, or critical. So I gritted my teeth behind a—hopefully—bored expression and stuck to the script.

The script said, ‘Shut up and listen.’

So I did my best. It shouldn’t have been this hard, but hearing that not only was my friend on the round table but that she planned on attacking me—or more accurately, my superhero persona—deliberately? My blood boiled.

Still, the best plan was to follow the script. So I shut up and listened.

“Our main goal is to make listeners realize that Magical Girl Understudy and Theseus are two sides of the same super-problematic coin. In fact, we could even argue there’s been a total role reversal. Theseus, for all he’s a supervillain, participates in the Man vs. Nature fights,” Su-Bin said.

“But couldn’t we handle Man vs. Nature without supers at all?” Someone said. I didn’t catch the name.

Su-Bin nodded. “We could. It’d go a long way toward our cause if we took over fighting our own battles for a change. We used to have an army. We could probably rebuild it—then we wouldn’t need supers anymore.”

“Getting ahead of yourself, Su-Bin,” Erik said.

“Right. Today, TU, tomorrow, the world!” That sounded like a slogan to me, but Su-Bin pressed on after sucking on a soda straw. “If we can get Understudy to lose her cool, we can expose her as the force of destruction both heroes and villains are.”

“Just like the Pherris Report,” someone said.

“Yeah, or Alpha Strike. But the point is, we know what supers do. We have to get the rest of the public to figure it out, and maybe this will be a start. Anyways, that’s my basic strategy.” Su-Bin grinned. “Any helpful critique?”

“Understudy’s the one that blew up the engineering building, right?”

No, Professor Panic did that, I did not say.

“It was a real tragedy, and I hope it gets rebuilt soon,” I said, sticking to the script. Bee suppressed an eye-roll, but barely.

“That bitch.”

“Hey, we don’t swear. APPEAL is a polite, law-abiding organization, and we’re not going to personally attack anyone, not even heroes and villains. What we’re going to do is hold them accountable.” Erik glared at the offending student until she nodded slightly. This time, I struggled not to roll my eyes. The whole thing was so ridiculous; we heroes weren’t doing anything wrong. But APPEAL honestly thought we were.

Pointers about how to do a round table rolled in, and Su-Bin sat at the laptop to jot down notes. I really wished this was an Episode; then I’d have a camera drone, and Rocko could replay the meeting for me so we didn’t miss anything. But I followed the script, sat down, shut up, and listened.

Eventually, Su-Bin nodded thoughtfully. “Look at the time. We’re going to open it up for general discussion now, so new members, don’t feel obligated to stick around the whole time. I know you’ve got classes tomorrow. And Annie, I’ll see you on Wednesday in Child Psych.” She grinned at me.

“You got it, Su-Bin,” I grinned back. “I’ll see you later.”

Bianca and I headed for the door before she could say much else. Neither of us said anything until we’d left the Alder Building far behind us. Then, we both broke out into nervous giggles.

“Holy shit,” Bee said, glaring. “You almost blew it twice in there. New people don’t talk at meetings, and you shouldn’t have said anything about superpower law.”

“I know, but it all worked out.” The laughter faded quickly, and the weight of what was about to happen hit me. “I’m going to have to defend myself against her attacks somehow. Holy crap, this is insane. Should we back out? I feel like we should—“

“No. You’ve got a huge advantage here. We know what APPEAL’s plan is. We just need to figure out how to disrupt it. Let’s head to your place.”

◄▼►

Half an hour into breaking down the meeting, I flopped back onto the chaise lounge, fully in cat mode except for the cat costume. “This is pointless. I have no idea how to win a PR campaign against this.”

“Annie, you’ve got all the advantages. Now scoot.” Bianca waited until I sat up, then sat down and rested her head on my leg. It was my turn to play with her hair. “You know what she’s going to try, and you have public sentiment as a superhero. Most people will forgive a little destruction one way or another.”

“Yeah, but our Code of Ethics doesn’t make it look good. We should have figured out if she knew what it said.”

“And how would you have done that? We learned a ton even without that, and they didn’t suspect a thing,” Bee said confidently. “If you want, we can assume they know our Code and plan accordingly.”

“We’ve been planning for half an hour, and we have nothing.”

“Fine. I admit we’re not equipped to solve this problem. Why don’t you talk to Mindstorm? She’s gotta be an expert on solving bad PR problems.”

I rolled my eyes. “I doubt it. She had her lawyer army, and besides, why would she care about a bad reputation?”

“Yeah, she wouldn’t give a damn, would she?” Bee shivered as I scratched her scalp. “How about Tele-Portal? The Triad has to have trouble with public relations.”

“Sure. Let’s try it.” I reached for my phone, making Bee growl in annoyance, and sent a quick text.

<Hey. How do you deal w/ bad pr? - Understudy 8:15>

“She probably won’t text back for a while,” I said as my phone buzzed.

<Ive been xpecting this txt 4 a bit - Tele-Portal 8:15>

<Gonna vidchat u in 5 - Tele-Portal 8:15>

<Sure. We’ll be ready. Fursona is here - Understudy 8:16>

<k. Got ur email already - Tele-Portal 8:16>

“Costume up,” I said, pushing Bianca off my lap. She groaned but hurried off to the bathroom to change.

While I went through my song and dance, I thought yet againabout Su-Bin. The relief of getting away with our spy mission warred with a sense of betrayal, and betrayal won. Part of me knew it wasn’t rational to feel this way, but a much larger part felt angry—really angry—that Su-Bin hated me so much. I finished my transformation and got the screen ready for Tele-Portal. Fursona joined me on the couch, and thirty seconds later, the video chat program rang.

“So, you’ve got a PR problem.” It wasn’t a question. “You blew up a couple of buildings—“ Tele-Portal said by way of greeting.

“We didn’t do it,” Fursona interrupted.

“Doesn’t matter. Plenty of people won’t care. You need an angle on this. Gotta give it some spin. I’d recommend a lawyer. Edgar handles all of my PR issues, and the Triad has a half-dozen on retainer. We’re practically villains, we have so many. But you’re two college kids in real life and little league heroes, so lawyers might be a bit beyond your usual needs.”

“Ouch, but true. So, here’s the situation.” I laid it all out; the whole story behind the TUEAS fights and the Mister Felsic Statue; the fallout on campus from it, including my ban from Episodes at TU, and the situation with Su-Bin and Appeal. She knew a ton of it, but I said it all anyway. “So, that’s what’s up.”

“APPEAL, huh? They’ve got a branch in Tokyexico City, but it’s mostly conspiracy theorists and people who’ve lost stuff directly to Episodes. They’re persistent, though. They must smell blood in the water with you. So, I’d break your whole strategy into a few chunks. First, spinning the TUEAS Building issue. Your Series Finale played already, right?”

“Right. Rocko ran it as soon as they finished the edits.”

“Great. As long as it doesn’t show anything implicating you, you can argue that you were trying to stop a villain. That puts the responsibility back on your nemesis and gives you deniability.” Tele-Portal paused, fidgeting with her hair. Despite the later hour, her eyes didn’t carry the same exhaustion they had after ‘Winter is Coming.’ “I have to ask, but I think I already know the answer. You had nothing to do with blowing up the building or statue, right?”

“Right.” Technically, it was true.

“Good. The one thing you don’t want to do is lie. You lose a ton of credibility if you’re not an honest superhero. The second thing you want is to redirect. You’ve got a villain there, too?”

“Theseus,” I said. “I’m pretty sure it’s Theseus.”

“Perfect. Try getting the host to put this Theseus on the spot. You shift the spotlight onto him, and you’ll get some breathing room. If your friend is a typical APPEAL type, she’ll attack-dog at the easiest target once she’s worked up. You need to let Theseus be that target, but that’ll be harder because she wants to fight you, not him.”

“I don’t think that’ll work,” Fursona hedged. “The host didn’t say much, but he’s interested in making his show popular. He’ll get more buzz from a spicy show than something that follows the typical ‘villains=bad’ script.”

“Then you need to get Theseus in the public spotlight before your radio show. That’ll be easiest if he starts something and you get involved, even if he stomps you.”

“Shit. I’m banned from Episodes on campus since ‘Absent-Hearted Professor,’” I said. “That’s not going to work.

“I’ll make it work,” Fursona said. “I can fight him.”

“He’ll kick your ass solo.”

“Sure will, but that’s okay. It might be even better if I lose. Gotta show him as a problem villain.”

“That’s point two. There’s one more thing you can do, but it’s longer-term, and that’s invest in some solo Patrol time. You want to build your rep? Showing up and stopping low-level crime is the best way, especially if you’re visible. You can get around your ban that way, too. Just go to the Poudre districts; the heroes there needed help at your job fair, and I doubt that’s changed.”

I thought about it. That was a great idea, but it wouldn’t help me now, and I didn’t have time for long-term planning. “Thanks, Tele-Portal. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, kid. And look, it’s probably best to keep your head down on campus other than semi-scripted appearances. Sometimes, heroes get bad PR—Underdelver’s usually the one who needs damage control on the Triad. We have him stay home for a couple of Episodes, make some charity appearances, and generally show he’s a good guy. That’s all it takes. Just be a good guy for a while.” Tele-Portal grinned. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. When can we get into the Triad training room?”

“As per the contract you signed, next month, if you do your Patrols. Talk to you later.”

Once the screen blanked off and we’d both changed out of our super-suits, Bianca grabbed the pen. Next to the ‘PR’ circle on her gigantic plan, she wrote another one connected to the KRTU bubble. The new circle included two words; ‘Redirection’ and ‘Fursona Solo Episode!’

◄▼►

18 - Fursona Solo Episode!

Thursday, January 15

- - - - -

I gave Bianca one last kiss—it still felt weird kissing her as a kangaroo, but I was getting used to it—and buckled her helmet over her head. “Be careful, okay?”

“Annie, the whole point is to not be careful. I’m signing up to get my ass kicked by Theseus, remember? And to do it in a public, embarrassing way. Luckily, we’re up against Theseus here. A different villain might try for an ID reveal against a solo sidekick to punish hubris, or they might go all-out and actually hurt me, but Theseus is a professional, and he knows me. I’ll be totally fine.”

“The last time you fought, he knocked you out in the weight room.”

“Yep. It was great.”

She had not thought it was great at the time. I’d had to coach her through losing, and I hated losing almost as much as she did. Bianca was playing the ‘I’m a tough girl’ role, and she played it well, but I was an actress—and I could see right through her charade. She was terrified. She had to be.

I gave her one last hug. “You’ve got this. I’ll be watching the whole time.”

“I know.” Fursona hopped to the elevator door. “See you soon.”

As the elevator descended, I stepped through the door to my own destination.

[Welcome to Rocko’s Backstage. System Disabled. Now arriving at Costuming]

“Aaaaaay! This is the stupidest goddamn idea you two have pulled, and you’ve pulled a lot of stupid ideas, DuPont. You’re intentionally throwing an Episode—and for what?”

“Not now, Rocko,” I muttered, throwing myself into a chair. “Pull up the drone feed for Fursona. I’m not allowed to play, but I’m going to watch.”

“Fine. Be my guest, DuPont. You know, you could be out there chasing down Shorts. You should be out there chasing down Shorts. Vigilant Vow is pulling ahead, and that ain’t a good sign.” The Ilneat climbed into a chair beside me and fiddled with the remote. Then, they pointed to an ice mountain stuffed full of water bottles. “Help yourself, kid.”

I grabbed a bottle and sipped gratefully. The shorts and spaghetti-strap tank top that had felt frigid in the green room weren’t doing enough to keep me cool in Rocko’s Studio.

Fursona appeared on the camera. She lurked outside the robotics lab—it’d taken us two days of digging and pulling strings to figure out Theseus’s next play. The villain wanted something there, and Fursona, being the hero, would try to stop him. Only, instead of playing it smart and grabbing a buddy, like Milo or Springlock, she’d made the rookie mistake of going in solo.

I couldn’t help her. I’d get expelled from TU. But still, it was a bold move for a fresh little leaguer, even one who’d grown like she had, to go up against a minor league villain solo. Rocko seemed pissed.

“DuPont, I need an explanation. You’re sending her on a suicide mission here.”

“No, I’m not!” I snapped. I really didn’t need Rocko being pissy with me right now. “Look, I know what it looks like, but the play here is to get people watching Heroics 101. They won’t do that if this radio round table goes sour—it’ll be all over the net, and you Ilneats will get a hold of it somehow. It’ll drive ratings down when we need the good PR. We’re taking a fall here so that Theseus is the obvious villain on air. It’s theater and misdirection.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in a while. You’re gonna lose to make yourselves look good?”

“No. We’re going to lose to make Theseus look evil.”

The camera drone flicked as Rocko fiddled with the remote again, this time over to Theseus. Sure enough, he looked frustrated—annoyed even—at the presence of a hero. But as he peered into the twilight and saw Fursona hopping closer, he grinned. “Push-over incoming. Are they…solo?”

“Yep,” I said, grinning my own predatorial grin. “She’s solo. No one’s coming to save her. Just take the bait and make it splashy.”

We’d developed the plan as soon as we knew Theseus’s target. It was pretty simple. Fursona wouldn’t fight to win. Instead, she’d fight to position Theseus so he destroyed as much of the lab as possible. She wouldn’t break a single calculator, but every last bit of destruction would be on both the camera drones and the hidden one we’d slipped into Fursona’s pouch. Then we’d leak Fursona’s footage.

It was a suicide mission, like Rocko said. But it was the best way to discredit a villain we could think of on short notice. And Theseus was chill. He’d crush Fursona, but she’d be fine in the end.

“Alright, Wombat, where are you?” Theseus asked. Fursona’s camera drone hovered in the lab’s center, next to a long arm ending in two clawed grippers. Theseus groaned, popped his arm off, and left it on the table. He installed his brand-new robot arm, then stalked into the shadows—the same shadows Fursona had to be hiding in.

I braced myself, but she didn’t attack. “What are you doing? Get him!”

But she still didn’t spring out of the shadows. Seconds ticked by. Minutes dragged on. The lab sprawled out on the screen; students’ projects littered every table, most with tape labeling them inoperable or unpowered, some still in pieces. Theseus found a second arm, this one less impressively powerful but much more precise—a tool, not an experiment. Then he turned and started walking toward the exit.

“Well, if you’re not going to stop me, I’ll be leaving now. Efficiency is important in a good lieutenant, and I need the reputation since I’m springboarding up the rankings to the majors. I talked about that in class, remember? Do things efficiently. But you and that Understudy wouldn’t listen. Besides, you’re probably worried about—oh, come on! What the fuck, Fursona?”

The camera zoomed in, and I laughed. His arm—his real arm—wasn’t on the table. She’d stolen his god damned arm.

“God dammit!” Theseus lost it. His face flushed, and he flexed his metal arms. “You’re making this personal.”

“Am I? Oops. Guess I’ll have to hand this over, then?” Fursona finally made her appearance. She waggled Theseus’s detached arm at him from the lab’s far side almost scoldingly. “I’ll make a deal with you. If you put your new arms back and leave, I’ll give both of these back to you.”

“You’ve only got one,” Theseus yelled. I’d never seen him this pissed, ever. Not when the group backfired. Not when we’d tried to stop his ‘arms deal’ during ‘Whey Too Few Leg Days’ last semester. Not ever.

“Not for long.” The lab was dark. Fursona couldn’t see how angry Theseus was. How close to losing control. She shoved the arm into her pocket and bounded forward, ducking past Theseus’s new arm as it smashed into a workbench.

“Ooooh, she’s got a chance at getting that arm,” Rocko said. They puffed on their cigar as I stared incredulously at them. “Oh, like you didn’t know this was coming—Marino’s teasy. Fursona’s usually such a serious superhero, but it’s because she wants to win. Without a chance at victory, she’s letting herself loosen up.”

I huffed and turned back to the screen. Rocko was right. Fursona was a serious-minded, competitive superhero. But Fursona wasn’t driving right now. Bianca was. That made a difference in how she’d fight Theseus.

And somehow, I realized, that also made a difference to me.

My stomach churned as Theseus crashed after the Marsupial of Justice, destroyed lab equipment flying in his wake. I’d overestimated the villain’s patience. Or I’d underestimated his pent-up fury. Either way, we’d made a mistake. Suddenly, I didn’t want Bianca out there.

“Can we call this off? There’s gotta be a way to call this off, right?”

“Nope. You asked for this, and it’s gonna happen one way or another, DuPont. We can pull the drones, but that’s just taking a ratings hit, and you don’twant that right now, do you?”

“No.” But I did want that right now. Fursona was one thing, but Bee?

Bianca got to the second arm a full second before Theseus did. She scooped it up and pocketed it. Then a table hit her. She flew across the room and caromed into a glass wall, which shattered around her.

As she picked herself up, Theseus pounced. He grabbed the kangaroo fursuit by the throat and squeezed—the suit’s eyes bugged out theatrically, but Bianca was fine inside. At least, she was probably fine.

Hopefully. My fingernails dug into my palms as I tightened my fists.

“Relax, kid. Pataki and I do this all the time, and it always turns out just fine.”

The villain struggled to control himself. “I’ve gotta hand it to you. You disarmed me at first. But I need you to get a grip on reality. You can’t win this.”

“Come on, let me go, and you can chase me around for the arm again. I’ll give you a head start!” Bianca kicked out, landing a blow to Theseus’s temple. He winced and rocked backward, but the robo-arm didn’t let go.

Enough.” Theseus held the struggling marsupial in the air with his weaker robo-arm, reeled back with the stronger one, and punched Bianca in the face. At the same time, he let go, and she flew across the lab, landing in a tangle of robot parts and schematics.

“Well, almost always. Sometimes you gotta pick up the pieces after, but that’s just showbiz.”

“Rocko! Please.”

Theseus pushed through the rubble toward Bianca, who found her feet and started hopping away from the villain. “Dodge left!” I squeaked. Rocko looked at me and shrugged, but Bianca dodged left.

Then she turned and kicked out at the onrushing villain. Theseus’s robo-arms blocked it, picked her up, and tossed her through another glass wall into a brand-new lab. “That’s the best you’ve got? I should have sent Gourmet. She’d have had fun with you! But now it’s personal.”

He followed Fursona through the glass. One of his arms lay on the floor, and a trail of broken glass led through the room. He leaned down, picked up his smaller robo-arm, and smiled. “One down, one to go. Or maybe two. Maybe I’ll borrow one of yours, too.”

But the heroic kangaroo was nowhere to be found. “Dammit, come out and fight me!” Theseus screamed into the dark lab. He smashed another table with his big arm.

“I don’t think so,” Bianca quipped from somewhere in the shadows. I couldn’t find her anywhere, and neither could Theseus.

Rocko flipped to the drone following the Marsupial of Justice. Then the Ilneat snorted. “Now that’s clever.”

Bianca stood on an open closet door, using her legs to shove it against the wall so it wouldn’t move, while one hand held Theseus’s arm against the ceiling. She balanced like that in the dark lab, just a few feet above the villain. The robotic arm almost brushed a foot, which she lifted carefully into the air.

“Seriously, give it back! I need it for classes tomorrow!” Theseus stuck his head in the closet, searching.

Bianca couldn’t resist. “I’ll finger ‘bout it.”

Theseus pulled back, looking around the room. Rocko rewound the feed, playing the next few moments twice while I shot a glare his way. From Theseus’s camera drone’s angle, he’d seen Bianca’s clever hiding place. But from Bianca’s, it seemed like the spot was still working.

“Fursona. I’m going to shut my eyes and count to three. The arm will be sitting in front of me, and you will be gone. If it’s not there when I open my eyes, I’m going to take that very…personally. We were friends in class. If not friends, then at least not enemies. Hell, we argued the same points against your girlfriend more than once. So make this easy on yourself.” Theseus almost sounded like he was pleading. Almost. But I knew the end was coming.

“Give him the damn arm, Bee,” I whispered. “You’ve won. It’s all on camera. Just walk away.”

“She can’t hear you, DuPont!”

“One.” Theseus closed his eyes. Bianca wavered on the edge of the door.

I wavered on the edge of my chair. “Just do it. It’s not worth continuing this.”

“Two.” Theseus slammed the door shut, and Bianca crashed down on top of Theseus. They hit the ground in a tangle of limbs—human, kangaroo, robotic, and detached!

“Three. Time’s up.”

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