41 - You're Super-Suited for This Job

This is the third of three chapters today to keep ahead of Royal Road. Enjoy.

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I awoke to a horrid buzzing and a slightly sour scent in my bedroom. My head pounded like it had after drinking with Bianca, and the buzzing wouldn’t stop. I reached for my phone. Had I set an alarm?

No. I had no new messages.

Which meant it was one of the intercoms. My phone said…9:43? I’d barely slept. Every time I shut my eyes, I saw the burning bank. Only instead of a bank, it was my parents’ double-wide. I’d wake up in my damp sheets, sweating and breathing fast. So sleep had been rough. Who’d bug me on a Saturday? I staggered to the speaker. “Hello?”

“Hey, Understudy! It’s Fursona. It’s job fair time! Lemme up.”

“Okay, just a minute.” I ran to the bathroom. The face staring back at me in the mirror looked terrible, but I didn’t have time for a good clean-up, so I pulled yesterday’s jeans and sweater on, grabbed Tails, and pushed the button for the elevator.

I held Tails up to start my oath and transform. Then I stopped. Most of it didn’t make sense anymore. I wasn’t in Riverside, and if I never fought Professor Panic again, I’d be thrilled. I’d have to fix it later with Rocko and Tails. There wasn’t time right now.

“I swear on my family, who I love very much, that I’ll stand up against Professor Panther, his minions, and evil all over Riverside! I’ll fight for justice, peace, and hope! And I’ll never stop ‘til evil does first!”

By the time I’d finished transforming, I could hear Fursona in my secret base. I took one last look at the girl in the mirror. She still looked miserable. Her eyes had bags under them, and her eyes were bloodshot. But the outfit was on point. It’d be fine for a job fair. Most likely, no one would even notice, and we were just getting info on superheroing opportunities, right?

When I opened the door, the first thing I got was a gigantic kangaroo hug. The second was a gigantic, dramatic kangaroo retching sound. “Eugh, Understudy, how’re you surviving in there? My eyes are burning inside this suit. Dammit! I can’t even rub them!”

“Sorry. I broke up with my boyfriend last night. It’s been…rough.” That was an understatement. Slipping through the door, I pulled it shut and headed for the elevator. “Let’s just go.”

I could see that Fursona wanted to say something. They fidgeted in their fursuit, and once on the way down, they reached out to touch a shoulder, only to pause. When the elevator dinged, they said, “I’m sorry. If you need anything, let me know anytime, okay?”

“Sure. Thanks. Let’s get moving.”

“What’s the plan here, anyways?” Fursona asked.

“Well,” I started. I didn’t breathe a sigh of relief, but only barely. I needed to focus on something that wasn’t Peter. “The way I see it, I’m probably not getting that sidekick role with Sara-N-Dipity. So we need to find another way to get some minor-league or assisted major-league experience. And there’s going to be some big guns here. We need to get signed up with Teleportal or The Mutual Assistance League. Or anyone but The In-You-Endos.”

“Not them?”

Fursona would honestly fit in with them with a personality tweak or two, but I’d never recommend them to anyone. Not after watching their ‘Dame Thirst Takes Them All’ episode on late-night TV when I was fifteen. I shuddered. “No. Not them.”

Other super students wandered down the tunnel—I had questions about how we’d keep our lairs secret, but no one seemed to pay much attention to the doors. In fact, as our numbers swelled, I realized I hadn’t noticed a single person coming out of an elevator yet. I thought I saw Gourmet for a minute, but most of the heroes and villains in the tunnel were new to me. Were there really so many vigilantes at Tokyexico University? Or…were most of these villains?

“So, what happened, Understudy?” Fursona asked. Ugh. This again. I told them what I could—obviously, no names or mention that he was a villain. But the general story. “So, he just didn’t care anymore?”

“Yeah. I tried to hold it together, but he worked on other stuff last night during our video chat. He couldn’t focus on me. On us. Distance is hard.”

“I see,” Fursona said. They wanted to say something. But before they could, we reached the stairs. Springlock and Milo stood at the top on our side, with Tearjerker on the other.

Of course, we got Tearjerker’s side. She didn’t recognize me, but one look at my red eyes, and she grinned. “You don’t even need me! Alright, let’s get some names.”

“Fursona.”

“Magical Girl Understudy.”

“Perfect, you’re on The List. Ikenga’s worried some Extra’s gonna try to sneak in on the Powered side, so I have to be a bouncer with these two dweebs.” She pointed at Springlock and Milo, then down the hall. “Accept the [Casting Call]and come on in. And don’t start anything. If I catch you fighting in there, it’ll be Where the Red Fern Grows for you. If you’re lucky, and I catch you before Mays and Jackson, that is.”

[Casting Call]

[Episode: You’re Super-Suited for This Job! - PG]

[Role: Job-Hunter of Justice! Do you accept the role? (Yes/No)]

[Role Focus: Flamboyance > Cunning]

I accepted the role. “You got [Job-Hunter of Justice] too, right?”

“Yeah,” Fursona said. “I wonder what the villains got.”

“[Minion-in-the-Making],” Gourmet said. She rolled her eyes from where she leaned against the wall, finishing off a banana. Surprisingly, her skin wasn’t yellow or peeling. “Good luck in there, Snack and Wombat.”

“It’s still Fursona! And why are you here? You could be in the minor league by now and earning points in the Man vs. Nature?” Fursona said, bouncing on their feet.

“I could be. I’ve got the ranking. But I don’t care.” Gourmet tossed the peel into her mouth and chewed vigorously. “My powers aren’t headliner powers in the minor league. I could help out with Man vs. Nature, and then what? Lieutenant for Theseus some more? Find a Minion gig? I’m not built like a headliner, kids. Anyways, I’m out. Just hanging out to scope stuff out and eat free food.”

“Can you tell what powers you’d get from something you eat?” Fursona asked.

“Maybe.”

I grabbed Fursona’s paw. “Let’s go.” The career fair awaited, so I dragged them through the door.

[You’re Super-Suited for This Job!: Act One in Progress]

The basketball court was covered in tables and booths. Big signs hung over them, flashing neon. 3V1L had a booth with a tent; I was really curious about them, especially when I saw a dozen devil-masked henchmen, complete with horns and goatees, working the booth. The Mutual Assistance League’s minor leaguers glared at them from their table across the gym.

And near center court, the A-list major league heroes and villains held court. Teleportal, who I’d seen in action, lay on a hammock tied to itself between two of her portals. McHammer, in his flowing plaid parachute pants, talked with a trio of supervillain students, including Theseus. And Doctors Jackson and Mays were having a heated discussion with a familiar-looking, business suit-wearing man.

The Agent.

Whatever they were talking about, Mays looked pissed. Not angry, but way beyond it. I hurried to get closer and caught The Agent finishing up his sentence. “…filled out the paperwork correctly, and both student organizations gave me permission, so I’m afraid I’m doing nothing legally wrong here. In any case, a longer laundry list of powers helps Tokyexico, and since you two are exempt from the draft, the least you can do is help me help the city.”

Mays started to talk, but Jackson nodded grudgingly. “Fine. You can run your collections drive, but pay a reasonable price here. And nothing meta, as usual. We don’t need more of us running around.”

“Agreed.” The Agent stuck out his hand and shook Jackson’s, then waited a moment in case Mays wanted to shake too. He didn’t, so The Agent turned toward the nearest students. Us.

“Hello, super-students. How would you like to make a hero?” He held out his clipboard toward Fursona and me. “I’m offering to buy copies of your [Signature Skills] for my [Hire a Temp] power. I can pay in cash, property, or…Style Points.”

“Style Points?” I could almost hear the kangaroo’s mouth start watering. Other super students heard The Agent too, and a crowd began to form.

“One at a time, form an orderly line,” Doctor Jackson called.

“I told you he’d do this. He always does this.” Mays grumbled.

“Yes, Style Points. [Power Broker] allows me to pay my own Style Points to you young up-and-comers in exchange for licensing your powers. I’ll offer five Style Points in whatever Style your skill is, plus two in the other Styles.” He looked at me. “Do we have a deal?”

“I want eight and three,” I said. “My power’s going to be a major league one with some work, and if the licensed version keeps its upgrades, you’re getting a lot of power.”

The Agent’s eyes glazed over for a second. I could see him digging through System messages. Then he nodded slowly. “I can do seven, three to two other Styles, and two to the other two. And everyone, I do negotiate, but don’t start too high.”

“Deal. Three to Drama and, um, Grit.” We shook, and I got a bunch of messages.

[Bold Negotiator!: +2 Badass Points Pending]

[Know Your Worth!: +2 Cunning Points Pending]

[Dramatic Haggler!: +3 Drama Points Pending]

[Flashy Sale!: +7 Flamboyance Points Pending]

[Hard Bargain!: +3 Grit Points Pending]

Fursona also licensed their power, though they didn’t get quite as good a deal. As we left, I heard a kid ask for twenty of each point. The Agent flatly said, “No,” and refused to negotiate at all. He ended up getting the 5 to one/2 to the others split.

Then Doctor Mays started an advertisement for ‘Trelach Oil’ at half-court. As he froze everyone, Doctor Jackson grabbed Monologue’s and Ikenga’s hands. Silver bubbles covered their bodies, and they started moving again.

“Hello, supers, and welcome to the First Annual TUSSA/SSS Job Fair. We don’t have long before Mays finishes his ad,” Ikenga said, “and I know there won’t be a Monologue speech today, right?”

Monologue said, glaring at Ikenga. There was something there that wasn’t just hero/villain hatred. “So, a couple of things to know. First, our recruiters are on the court. There are a few rooms downstairs for testing powers. If a recruiter wants to check out your moves, you can do so in relatively safe environments—away from your rivals. No powers on the main floor, please. A full-on fighting Episode with all of us here wouldn’t end well for us or the university.”

Yeah, that made sense. I saw a few vigilante heroes and villains power down weapons around us. They didn’t put them away, but they relaxed…for now.

“Second, we’re not here to fight our rivals. That means you, Iron Fist. Stay away from Milo and Springlock.” Ikenga glared at the power-glove-wearing brawler. “Remember, the goal here is networking. I know a few of you are going to start things. I’m not going to try to stop you. But Flare, Dark Girl Anima, and Kairo, Doctor Mays has his eye on your specifically, so be ready to get stopped.”

A few villains and one hero fidgeted nervously and avoided the professor’s eye. Dark Girl Anima, wearing a blood-red skirt and a top that showed far too much cleavage, flounced toward the stairs, rolling her eyes. “Whatever, Ikenga.”

Monologue cleared his throat. “Well, Doctor Mays probably can’t make up much more about Trelanch Oil, so let’s move to our last point. Let’s all have a good time and find some internships!”

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