37 - Um, About That

“What do you mean, ‘about that?’” I asked. My stomach dropped. Honeycomb didn’t have a clue where Jumper was, and I was running out of time. But she looked so miserable. She was almost crying.

“We can’t talk about it here,” she said, heading down the hall and ducking under Pranky Jones’s leftover [Shrink-Wrap Surprise]. “Follow me to the Honey Hive.”

“The Honey Hive?” Fursona snorted through their modulator.

“Shut up!”

The ‘Honey Hive’ turned out to be Magical Girl Honeycomb’s secret base, and, of course, it was inside the beehive. Honeycomb fiddled with a few controls and a whole section filled with smoke. Then we just…strolled through the acrid gray fog and ludicrously sweet-smelling air. She opened the back wall, flicked on a fan to blow away the few unsmoked bees, and ushered us inside.

‘Welcome to the Honey Hive,” Honeycomb muttered. She stared at the floor, face flushing red—the color contrasted poorly with her yellow dress. She gestured to some chairs. “Have a seat. I’ll explain.”

I didn’t really want an explanation. I was out of time, and I needed a serious Episode now. Otherwise, I’d be giving Sara-N-Dipity [The Playpen Pals and Honeycomb Save the Bees!], and as funny as that’d be, she’d pick Punch and Grapple for sure. It had to be after six already. Maybe even closer to seven.

But Honeycomb had already started talking. “I want to show you something.” She clicked play on a wall-mounted TV surrounded by stylized honeycomb patterning. A highlight reel started playing. Or, more accurately, a lowlight reel. Honeycomb falling on her face while chasing Jumper. Jumper tricking Honeycomb into her own honey puddle. Even Honeycomb getting flattened by a familiar-looking van—I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy for a second since ‘S’ hadn’t hit her intentionally. Or at least he hadn’t backed up and hit her again.

As I watched Jumper run across a wall and avoid a jet of bees, Honeycomb sighed. “I can’t beat her. She won’t stay still. And my flight power can’t make the corners she can, so I can’t chase her down. Ed’s losing their mind. ‘It’s one thing to have a loss or two, kid, but the hero’s gotta win!’ ‘If you can’t win, you’ll never make the minors!’” As she imitated her ilneat producer, she got more frustrated. Her hands waved in the air as she made air quotes.

“But Jumper won’t play fair. She keeps leaving whenever I show up. And she’s funny. I’m just funny-looking.” She pointed at her costume. I had to agree there. Whoever her Pataki was hadn’t done her any favors. “Ed’s about to give the show to Jumper and try making her an anti-hero—like Robin Hood or something.”

“Or that archer in the movie after everyone disappears and he gets a sword?” I asked. It was a pre-Launch Day movie, one the ilneats really enjoyed. They called it the end of an era, dismissing the rest of that series.

“Yeah, like him. Ed says I have three more chances—two, because I got involved in your Episode a couple of weeks ago—and if I can’t beat Jumper, the show’s hers. So I’ve been hiding from Jumper Episodes here since you two caught ‘S.’ My mom thinks I’m volunteering with the kiddos, but I’m trying to train.”

“Train?” Fursona asked. Then they stood up from their seat. “Wait. You can just to G-rated Episodes until you’re strong? Why aren’t we doing that?”

“It doesn’t work well.” Honeycomb shook her head slowly and wiped her eyes. “The first Episode did. But after that, the Style Point penalties for G-ratings got started stacking. I earned three points for that Episode. Total.”

“So what do you want from us, then?” I asked.

“Can you help me take down Jumper?”

I facepalmed. I actually did. Then I tried to recover as she burst into tears. God damn, this girl was sensitive. “You know, if you’d helped me out tonight, we could have tried to track her down. We could have beaten Jumper, I could have gotten my minor-league sidekick role, and we’d both be happy right now.”

"I know, but…the kids really love having me around. The Anti-Naptime League is—“

“What’s with those guys, anyway?” Fursona asked.

“…They’re ex-supervillains. Or, I guess, retired supervillains. Pranky Jones has at least three hundred million in the bank, and Jungle Jim fought in the First Power Wars and Man vs. Nature One and Two. They’re here for fun and to hang out with the kids. And The Narrator is a Meta-Powered hero. She can rewrite Episodes. The ilneats hate her because she was a kid therapist before Launch Day, and she refused to change careers. Eventually, Yacko convinced her to do educational TV though. So now she runs Tottergarten.”

“Hang on, let’s talk business here,” I interrupted. I wanted to know all about Tottergarten. The place seemed…weird…for a daycare, although The Narrator’s presence alone probably made it the safest place in Tokyexico City. But I didn’t have time. “I need an Episode tonight. Can you find Jumper?”

“No.” Honeycomb looked away. “My…my mom’s picking me up soon. I have trigonometry homework and an essay due in Ancient World History.”

“Wait, how old are you?” I asked.

“Fifteen.”

Honeycomb was fifteen? A sophomore in high school. And if she spent her free time doing homework or hanging out at the daycare, she probably didn’t have a ton of friends. I rubbed my temples. “Alright. Listen, I have to go. I’ve got to find that Episode. Fursona, are you coming with me?”

“No, I’ve got homework too.”

“Alright. I’ll go it alone again,” I said. “Keep in touch, Honeycomb. You hear anything about Jumper, you give me a text.”

“You got it,” she said.

I hurried outside. The sunset came early behind the looming wall, and long shadows covered Tokyexico University’s streets. A single car sat outside Tottergarten; two parents carried a struggling super-toddler toward it. The kiddo struggled gamely to get airborne, but his mom and dad knew how to handle him. I waved at The Cloud, and he started squirming even more.

The streetlights hadn’t come on yet. I still had time. There had to be a little league Episode popping off somewhere. “[Starwave Sail]!” I shouted.

The sailboard popped under my feet, and I took off, skimming slowly under the parking lot lights.

“Miss Understuffy, wait! I love you!” The Cloud managed to squirm free from his parents’ grip just long enough to get over their reaches. If I could get moving fast enough, though, he wouldn’t be able to cut me off, and he’d have to go home.

I started getting up to speed when suddenly—

Bonk!

I looked down. The Cloud hung off my board’s nose, waving with one hand that held a ripped-up bit of cloth. Was it…

It was. The floaty toddler had shredded his cape on something, and he held it out to me after clambering onto my now-hovering sailboard. “Miss Understuffy, you were the superest teacher ever!” He hugged my leg with his free hand.

“Uh, thanks, but Honeycomb is pretty great, too,” I said. The poor girl was spending every day with these kids. She deserved their love. Although…if they were typical toddlers, they probably loved everyone. “Tell me about your cape.”

“It makes me fly, and it rains when I get sad. I can’t do it now because I’m so happy, though!” He gave me another hug.

“Alright, thank you so much for the gift!” I ruffled his hair, and he glared at me. “Head back to your parents, okay? I have to go.”

His parents stood about twenty feet below with expressions that wavered between worried, bored, and annoyed. Mom hovered under my board while Dad tapped his foot near their car. He held one of those kid-walker leashes they advertised on late-night TV sometimes. Usually, that seemed tacky, but it made a lot of sense with The Cloud. A kid balloon on a string worked better than a kid balloon three hundred feet up.

The Cloud didn’t seem to mind them being far up. “Bye, Miss Understuffy. Bring my cape with you when you come back!” He jumped off my sailboard and drifted down to his mom’s waiting arms. She grabbed him, his dad clipped the leash harness around his chest, and they got in the car.

I waved. Then I zipped off into the evening sky, The Cloud’s cape waving in my fist as I flew one-handed. Time had run out. This was the last chance. The last, last chance. I didn’t have to go far to find one—only to Bleaker Avenue.

[Casting Call]

[Episode: What 3V1L May Bring - R]

[Role: Hapless Sidekick! Do you accept the role? (Yes/No)]

[Role Focus: Drama > Grit]

If it had been a minor league Episode, I’d have accepted the [Casting Call] right away. Even as it stood, I thought about it. The role name made it sound like I wouldn’t have to do much. But a major league loss wasn’t what I needed right now.

I hadn’t heard of 3V1L before, but it sounded like one of those cartoon villain organizations with an acronym that spelled out Every Villain Is Loony or something. That Episode was either crawling with henchmen or a group of villains working together. Either way, I’d probably end up fighting someone above my rank or a bunch of people way below it, and neither option sounded great.

I left [What 3V1L May Bring] behind. There had to be something else.

But, somehow, the [Hapless Sidekick] role was the best thing I found all night. I wasn’t ready to lead-role a minor league Episode, and all the other major league ones had way more pressure on the sidekick role. I circled back to Beaker Avenue as the sun finally disappeared.

[What 3V1L May Bring] had ended. I didn’t even know who won. And Beaker Avenue looked like it hadn’t changed at all. Whatever 3V1L had planned, it had either worked, or they’d gotten stomped worse than when Theseus and Gourmet crushed Fursona and me.

Which left me with nothing for the night unless you counted [The Playpen Pals and Honeycomb Save the Bees!]. I sighed. My algebra homework would have to wait.

One more search. This time, into the skyscraper canyons. Nothing popped up. Nothing, that was, except major league Episodes. What was with this city? Didn’t it have anything for a starting hero?

Nope. It sure didn’t. At least, not after dark. I turned my sailboard toward Tokyexico University and Walnut Tower, Room 1301, suppressing a yawn. There was too much to do before bed; I couldn’t afford to get tired now.

I flipped open my laptop and typed in ‘Superpower Pickup Episodes.’ Nothing. ‘Superhero Episode sign-ups’ got a similar result. So did ‘Superheroes for Hire’ and ‘Looking for Episodes.’ At least, none of them gave me what I needed. There didn’t seem to be an Episode sign-up service or one that’d tell me where Episodes were happening so I could go there myself.

I made a note. I was going to ask someone about an app for that tomorrow. Or at least soonish.

My email dinged.

Subject: Luck?

Hey Understudy,

Any luck? If not, your best bet is the kiddie Episode. It’d be better to show you work well with others since we got wrecked by Theseus and Gourmet in ours. I think if you approach it right in your email, it could be convincing. Springlock also said that Sara needed a combat specialist, and you could do that if you built right. You stood up to Brick House. That’s worth something.

Either way, let me know how it goes.

Justice-Roo

I sighed. Then I flopped onto my back. Fursona was right. I didn’t have much choice if I wanted to look serious at all.

To: LuckyGirl777.SH@tokyexicouniversity.student.edu

Subject: Episode

Hello, Sara-N-Dipity

I’m waiting on an Episode I guest-starred in. It’s a G-rated Episode, but it showcases my combat skills and ability to work with others. In it, I worked with several other heroes, including Fursona (my sidekick), Magical Girl Honeycomb, The Narrator, and members of the Playpen Patrol.

I also fought against Mister Twister and Brick House, both formerly major league villains. While I couldn’t defeat either, the heroes I worked with took care of Mister Twister, and I forced Brick House to retreat.

I hope this Episode shows that I’m a viable choice for a minor league sidekick role.

Either way, thank you

Magical Girl Understudy

I sent it to Sara-N-Dipity. Then I shut my laptop and groaned. My stomach felt tight, and I had a little ache between my eyes, which I kept rubbing. As I lay down for what promised to be a restless night, I couldn’t shake a bad feeling. Then my phone buzzed.

<Hi hi! Busy tomorrow? If not, your place, Man vs. Nature, 4:00? - Bianca 10:47>

<Sure. I’ll be here. Already got an Episode picked out! - Annie 10:48>

Brick House vs. The Florida Man-Eater. I wanted to watch that villain get his ass kicked for a while. At least I’d have some fun tomorrow while I waited for my Episode to air so I could actually show Sara. If she was willing to wait to see it herself, that was.

<Yay! I’m bringing something to drinky-drink - Bianca 10:49>

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