May Schedule

Hey there, Patrons!  Are we nearly half-way through May already?  It feels like only yesterday that I was doing the Welcome to May post!  I seem to have lost a week somewhere, but I'm reluctant to look down the back of the couch, I know the kind of thing that happens on my couch.  In fact if I flip over the end cushion there's a big awkward stain from that time the waterproof blanket slipped just as Poppy's bowels were right on the brink of disobeying her.  We never could get that stain out.

Anyway, stay tuned for later today when the static images for the Speed Run issue are released, for those of you on the Static Image tier or those who want to make up your own plot about a super-hot skater girl propelling herself along using only the power of her own farts, or for those who just want to stare at a hot farting girl without the distraction of all the dialog.

Next week's release on the Webcomic tier is called Beach Disaster, and is a follow-up to the last round of our hold-it contest, where all the contestants got sick on the airplane.  In this issue, we sent professional adult performer Holly to the beach with one of our camera operators to get some high quality solo pleasure action (seriously, who doesn't enjoy watching a pretty lady pleasure herself..?).  Her digestive system still hadn't reached equilibrium after that bad burger, which led to a frantic search for somewhere private to relieve herself.  I apologize once again for Holly's language.  See pic above for reference.

We've also got some cool stuff lined up for June!  Remember Britney, who failed to keep her panties clean for her sorority initiation?  Well, she's back, and this time it isn't a hazing ceremony that forces her to keep it in her butt for three days - it's a severe bout of constipation!  Britney wisely chose to take a laxative before she needed to see a doctor, but unfortunately for her, it kicked in right as she arrived her math class.

Actually this one is based slightly on a true story - I was constipated when I was at college, and I took a laxative the night before to try to ease it.  And yes, you guessed it, my guts started to grumble half-way through class, and it was one of those classes where you can't make your excuses and take 5 minutes leave.  I was literally grinding my butt into the hard plastic chair to keep it in until recess.  Quite possibly one of the longest classes of my entire life, I had sweat stains all down my blouse where I was sweating and shaking with a mix of effort and anxiety.  Seriously, poop desperation is kinda fun in the right time and place, but when you're trying to be the cute college chick, and it's a quiet classroom and you're wearing a short skirt and suddenly your laxative kicks in...  I look back on that incident now with a mix of extreme excitement and utter horror - I genuinely thought I was gonna lose my load in the middle of class!  Lucky for me (and unlucky for you guys and girls, I guess) I made it to the bathroom and literally exploded as soon as I sat down.  Will Britney get so lucky?  Well, there's a twist in the tail of this story - stay tuned to find out what happens!

Also in June we've got another kinky desperation play issue, this time featuring two new girls, Luella and Linda.  With Linda squirming under the effects of my Special Laxative Formula, and Luella having complete control over when she's permitted to relieve herself, this is an intense torment for Linda and a real treat for those of you who love kinky D/s play with a desperation theme.

There's loads more hot stuff in the pipeline, too - like that cute rock chick who ate way too much spicy food last night and right now is stuck in the morning rush on the subway!  Our resident sex witch, Katja, returns for a special issue involving magical desperation, I get called back to the underworld for a grueling demonic ritual and I come home with a new apprentice, Chara works out how she can do another 3-day camping trip without soiling her shorts, and our beautiful office assistance, Gemma, explores her new fetish for holding her poop by engaging in some auto-erotic desperation play.  Plus round 3 of the 2023 poop-holding contest, with a special twist, and a special issue with an incredibly beautiful artificial woman.

As always, if there's anything you want to see, any ladies you want us to bring back, or anything you'd like to know, leave a comment or send us a message and we'll see what we can do.

I hope you all have a good May, and thank you again for your support!  Be safe, eat healthy, and shit hard.