Gotta Catch 'em all. [Pokemon SI...not a regualr thing, just something I typed way back which si gonna be my next story once any of the current six end]

“Pi”

“Shut up”

“Pi?”

“Yes, I meant you.”

“Pi, chu…Pi?”

“No, I am quite sure I meant you.”

“Pi, pi, picHUUU!”

“FUCK!” I jumped, feeling the voltage travel through my body, the weird feeling of getting zapped making me glare at the small Pichu next to me, the little menace having shocked himself too with the barely effective thundershock.

And it was still laughing at me. Bloody pest.

Ignoring the small yellow rat of all things, I continued on the beaten trail, doing my best to be quiet, not knowing when a Mightyena or a Weedle might come at my sorry, naked ass. Of course, that led to my thoughts coming back to the big, fat red light blasting in my brain.

I was in the Pokemon World. The world of Pocket Monsters…who weren’t pocket-sized at all out in the world. I don’t even the how or why of it, and considering that I didn’t die—or at least I hadn’t until I went to sleep—how the hell did I get Isekaid into this fandom? My wake-up call from sleep being a tickle on my ears and a thundershock from the rodent skipping at my right side, my left half-buried in the beach.

Self Inserts had always been a favorite of mine, something about exploring a new, formerly fictional world sparking my inner Bear Grylls. Of course, that excitement was dampened by the realization that even the small rat besides could kill me—it would probably kill the tiny rat too, and maybe some rainfall or a water ditch would be needed. Still, at least the Pichu was more along the lines of what you would expect from such a… nice-looking creature.

So here I was, thrown into a new, dangerous as fuck world, without any money, any identification, and not even an underwear to call my own—at least I wasn’t freezing my balls off, the weather around me reminiscent of spring. And my body was the same as what I had on Earth, those hard-earned muscles from working part-time and hitting the gym sometimes still there. I wonder what my somewhat friends from the orphanage would have thought of this?

As another draft of suddenly cool wind hit my swinging member…I had an epiphany—a totally weird one to be sure, but still.

I had been a pokemon fanatic back in my elementary years, and later on, with the onset of puberty, thought about many of the rather beautiful females shown in the series…with our dear protagonist being none the wiser about the fairer sex. I stopped watching after the end of the Sinnoh season when it became clear that the producers didn’t have any inclination of making Ash Ketchum actually win anything. Of course, the fact instead of training his already strong, existing pokemon the talented but stupid kid was hell-bent on new adventures did it for me.

Hells, if Sceptile had fought with him throughout the Sinnoh region, I am hundred percent sure it could have taken Paul’s Torterra alone. However, putting aside Ash’s somewhat naive and tiring outlook on life and how to become a Pokemon Master…this presented an opportunity.

I obviously didn't want t go back to my world, what with its deteriorating state and the rather horrible surroundings of Wool’s Orphanage. And even if at some point I’d want to do so, I guess I would need to convince the Big Three or their father for it.

That made my route so much clear.

Step 1: Convince the pichu besides me to become my foll-eh…partner—because after seeing Ash’s Pikachu in action, I sure as hell wasn’t letting this evolutionary line slip through my fingers.

Step 2: Find out which Region I was in.

Step 3: Prepare a bullshit backstory to convince the authorities that I wasn’t insane and a flasher.

Step 4: Begin my own journey, and become the champion of whatever place I was in, because why the hell not?

Step 5: Try to bang as many hot ladies and women as I could—because fuck if Professor Ivy and Cynthia didn’t make my nose bleed…and it bled again. Wonderful.

“Say Pichu?” I turned towards the little being at my side, imagining TWD’s zombies at the same time to make the blood flow back up into my bigger head. “What do you say about becoming my pokemon, after I get a Pokeball of course.”

“Pichu?” it tilted its head to the side, regarding me with those sparkling, black eyes.

“I will give you good food,” I offered, and it just tilted its head to the other side.

“A female Pikachu or Raichu down the line?”

It smiled. Heh, who knew that my first pokemon would be a horny bastard too—normally, I wasn’t, but damn that image of Professor Ivy riding on a Gyarados was sending my brain haywire.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What the fuck?!” someone shouted from my right, and I jumped in my place, my hands automatically moving to protect the tatters of my modesty. Turning towards the direction from where the voice came, I blinked at the white lab coat, white moustache, and the even whiter hair of the six-foot-something man who had just reintroduced me to civilization.

“What are you doing young man,” he growled, a Pokeball appearing in his hands as he glared at me, “Running around naked in my Pokemon Ranch? Are you a poacher or did you run away from the asylum?”

“Ah…what would you say If I told you that I am a dimensionally misplaced soul who woke up in this world a few hours ago?”

The Professor—because all that white could only mean one thing in this world—blinked once, twice, before he sighed. “Alright kid, you had your fun with that dimension bit. Now, why don’t you try that again? Without any outlandish claims? Or I am calling the Police right now and sending you to the CIB cells for endangerment of Private Property and public indecency.”

“Uh…I was escaping from a human trafficking ring,” I began, my brain working faster than it ever had as I cooked up a story, knowing that it must have some truths in it if I wanted to survive this questioning, “They left the cells open you know, and I used them to move out. But I was busted by the other people who couldn't keep their mouths shut, therefore I had to bail out from the ship. I jumped into the ocean and swam towards the shore, but they launched some Wubat after me. Thankfully, a Pidgeot and a Staraptor in the sky picked them off for some dinner, adn I was able to run into the forest.”

“Then where is the salt on your body?” the man frowned, “Chimchars like salt, and I have two just a few feet behind me. They should have been all over you by now.”

“Uh, you see this yellow rat over my head,” I pointed at the Pichu, who conveniently took that moment to come out of my spiky hair—I was calling anime bullshit on that, no way a six-inch rat could hide in someone’s hair, “His thundershocks would have hurt like thunderbolts if I had not scrubbed every inch and orifice in my body at the stream a few miles back.”

“And your clothes?” the stern-looking asshole crossed his arms, “I presume they were taken by some Milotics?”

“Nah, it was just my jailer,” I said, a nervous smile on my face,“ She was fond of marking her targets by taking away their clothes in the morning. Every day she would choose one of the men or boys to take to her cabin…and well you are intelligent enough to know the rest.”

“And do you know which region are you from?”

“Kanto,” I answered without hesitation because that was the region I remembered the most about, assuming the timeline wasn’t that far off, “May I ask who the champion of my home is? I was on that ship for so long I have almost forgotten the who’s who of my home.”

“Lance Wataru,” he dryly answered, “Now if you are done rekindling your memories, come inside and get dressed in some spare clothes I have. After that, I will contact the CIB and the Kanto Embassy. If your story checks out, then it is well and good, otherwise, be prepared for some hard years ahead of you.”

Oh, Go-Arceus.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What is your name?”

“Uh…what?”

“Your name?” the officer in front of me stressed the words, looking at me as if I had sprouted two heads, “The thing which humans use to identify themselves, adn sometimes their -”

“I know the meaning,” I cut him off, “It's just…it has been so long since I used it, it took a second to jog my memory. It is Jack, Jack Winters.”

“Well, Jack Winters,” the man half-sneered at me as he looked down at his tablet, “Let’ see if your name shows up in the Kanto Registry or not…”

Oh, Fuck!

“Huh?” the man frowned, breaking me out of my prayers to Arceus as he turned towards the Professor, “His story checks out, for the most part, Professor Rowan. Jack Winters has been presumed dead for the last nine months after his disappearance from his hometown of Pallet. Professor Oak, it seemed even led a search operation for him and two other kids who were picked up, but the boy was declared dead by the Government after a week of searching.”

“For the most part?” the Professor frowned, “What do you mean?”

“There is no mention of him in Government recor…,” the man trailed off, his eyes narrowed at his tablet, before he nearly dropped it with a gasp, ”wait! What the fuck?!”

Well, seems like the Creator here heard my prayers. As the official panicked over the sudden appearance of completely detailed records, Professor Rowan looked at him like he was a dumb moron…and promptly kicked him out in the most polite, acerbic way possible. How he called that man a dimwit, asshole and a fool all rolled into one without even mentioning anything of the sort, I would never know.

“All right kid,” he sighed, turning towards me, “Your story checks out. I will call Oak and tell him to take you away.”

“Uh Wait!” I cried out, mind whirling through dozens of thoughts, before I settled on one, “Can I start from here?”

“Start what?” he frowned, “Your journey?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, gesturing to the building around me, “I am already in your lab, and honestly, I will tell Professor Oak about my escape on my own. For now, I would like to remain in Sinnoh, and compete for the League Championship here.”

“Fine,” Rowan nodded, “Do you want a starter, if so, I only have the Chimchar line with me at the moment, since the official start was a month ago and the Turtwigs and Piplups were taken away then.”

A Pichu had no attacks to speak of—volt tackle and thundershock didn’t count—until it evolved into the monster that was Pikachu. So yes, a little fiery monkey capable of roasting birds and bugs for me sounded very good. Nodding at the man, I watched as he turned and around and typed a few things on his computer, a beep sounding out at the end of it.

“You are now registered with the Pokemon League Association as Jack Winters, resident of Pallet Town, Kanto,” he said, turning around to give me a red device. A Pokedex, I realized, watching the machine beep as it scanned my fingerprints, “This is your Pokedex, it will scan any pokemon you point the camera towards, and it will also function as your map. Don’t lose it Winters, your credentials are also stored within them.”

It was definitely better looking than the one in shows, looking to be no thicker than a phone, with its sleek, slim design and a single, small lens at its top. There were a bunch of icons on its home screen, Library, ID, Finances, Map, PL Data to name a few. The wallpaper was also nice, a black sky with a fork of white thunder cutting through it.

“Now,” Professor Rowan began once again, pulling my attention from my new item, his eyes looking at the six miniaturized pokeballs in his hands, “Do you want to send your extra pokemon here, or to Oak’s ranch back in Kanto?”

“Hmm, your ranch sounds good,” I nodded, “Plus, Sinnoh native pokemon will probably fare better here in this climate. Kanto was a lot warmer in comparison.”

“Foolish brat,” he rolled his eyes, “Oak’s Ranch is the best this world has to offer. He has hundreds of biomes and environments built for every kind of Pokemon. Now, do you want your Pokemon here or there?”

“Here sounds good even then,” I shrugged, “I kinda, don’t want to talk to anyone from Kanto so soon. Anyways, I am off Professor Rowan, gotta get to…Oreburgh City, is it?”

“Roark, huh?” Rowan rubbed his chin, humming a little, “Well, you can look to the map for directions, and you have the League’s provisionary initial funds of a thousand Pokemon Dollars. Good luck Winters, and don’t die before paying me back for those clothes.”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was currently in Sandgem town, a little settlement at the southern edge of Sinnoh, and I had to cross the forest in front of me to reach Oreburgh town for my first Pokemon Battle. Ever.

With just a Pichu and a Chimchar to my name.

Sure, Ash’s versions were absolute monsters when they grew up…but I was not the heavily plot-armored protagonist, and my pokemon were still babies in terms of their growth.

As if needing to remind myself once again of my grim present, I looked down at my Pokedex, the screen on it showing my current roster, and their moves.

Pichu:

Moves: Thundershock, Volt Tackle.

Abilities: Static

Chimchar:

Moves: Ember, Fire Claw.

Abilities: Blaze

But still, I guess training them was gonna be fun, especially with the hundreds of fanfictions I had read on the subject—Heavens know how little training Ash did. Anyways, I was currently standing at the entrance to a forest with just two low-level pokemon, three water bottles, a half-week’s worth of food…and just a single shirt and jeans.

Maybe Chimchar could climb up and snag a Starly for me? Or even a Staravia if we are lu-HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

‘Hello Jack,’ the little pink cat in front of me waved its paws, bouncing in the air with its blue eyes shining at me as a cute, feminine voice resonated in my head, ‘I see you have been adjusting well to my world.’