Single Dad//Teen Necromancer
Added 2021-07-10 21:01:26 +0000 UTCI have been editing Dungeon System the last few
Comments
I'm hoping for a WoTR stopping point. Such as Calvin first child if only to see what fatherhood does to the maniac.
mhaj58
2021-08-12 01:45:26 +0000 UTCI love it, but also just want you to continue with the other stories.
Benjamin Walsh
2021-07-25 23:03:36 +0000 UTCI generally wing it while drawing inspiration from experience. If I'm dead wrong and several people tell me so, I fix it.
Macronomicon
2021-07-18 00:43:35 +0000 UTCK, thanks for the feedback!
Macronomicon
2021-07-17 23:28:53 +0000 UTCI voted not interested for now. I'll probably go back and read it, but I don't feel up to starting something new just yet.
Ricky Kukowski
2021-07-17 19:44:41 +0000 UTCthat's just a feeling you get BC they all come from the same brain.
Macronomicon
2021-07-12 17:35:02 +0000 UTCI’m pretty sure all your stories are in the same universe and we will eventually be introduced to a planeswalker who goes around eliminating strung out main character dead pool 2 style.
SunderGoldmane
2021-07-12 16:45:48 +0000 UTCah yes, cops are well known for holding doors open in expectation of eventual sexual favors and lawless devilry, two sides of the same penny honestly
Ao
2021-07-11 15:28:32 +0000 UTCFor whatever reason I can not stand flashbacks. I would be more interest if this story had none (or at least fewer)
Craig
2021-07-11 15:07:42 +0000 UTCAs a retired peace officer I should be offended about some of that. However 25 years ago Chicago pd had problems, bribes had to be paid to get promoted. A culture of corruption I guess, I don’t know if it’s changed but I doubt it. Makes me glad I worked for the Sheriffs Office in an average town. Happy to say we had a clean department, our share of assholes, but that goes with the job. Here some advice, every officer has two modes, nice guy and asshole. Who you deal with is up to you.
Artman
2021-07-11 12:12:56 +0000 UTCSeems like a good story, looks like it'll be heavy on flashbacks and recaps though ;)
Bailey Lowe
2021-07-11 09:09:00 +0000 UTCI think the problem is that I don’t know what an end looks like. Time keeps marching on, and there’s still more to tell...at least until they die.
Macronomicon
2021-07-11 08:23:57 +0000 UTCGarth=power creep/not enough plotting. Calvin = burnout/power creep. Jeb= Likely to return since each arc is more defined, and power creep hasn’t completely messed it up yet.
Macronomicon
2021-07-11 08:17:52 +0000 UTCThat’s intense! Thanks for the feedback!
Macronomicon
2021-07-11 05:31:33 +0000 UTCI get that the MC is new to magic and only just realized the potential of his abilities but so far he seems to be kinda dumb about it. Tough to tell but I get the feeling that enough time has passed to put some real thought into it between his waking and sleeping world. I would have hoped for some more foresight while he was waiting 2 weeks for the nursing home gold to be ready to work on other money making projects to secure a better life for him and his daughter. Maybe have him start following his grandpa's suggestion while waiting. It's also obvious enough that he is going to eventually find that he needs to keep Carol around to protect his daughter since she will do a better job than he can. Not sure what to do about that aside from twisting expectations maybe. Now it just feels like this really obvious thing waiting to happen as he continues to try and get rid of her. I also didn't care for the cop sections, I get he's going to be a bad guy, just hope he isn't the big bad of the whole book, maybe just act 1 or 2. That is more stemming from personal prejudice than anything so no suggestions there, sorry. I just hope the main guy's smart enough to do his magic Skype call in his dreams only. All that said, I think you're a pretty great writer which is why I contribute here. I expect you'll piece something together that's fun and brilliant regardless of what I have to say. I just wanted to provide some feedback on what you gave to us. Good luck and thank you for the story! 😀
Gavin Lawrenson
2021-07-11 04:53:08 +0000 UTCThis is really good. Cant wait to see where this goes.
Ellija
2021-07-11 03:22:27 +0000 UTCthis is actually quite good
Godlyskeleton
2021-07-11 02:56:29 +0000 UTCI like the premise, and the humor is pretty good. What is causing the issues with completing the previous works? Not enough/too much plotting? Or something else entirely?
WhiteRabbit
2021-07-11 02:11:22 +0000 UTCThank you!
Andrew
2021-07-11 00:17:50 +0000 UTCThis is my favourite story of yours since WotR.
William Fullerton
2021-07-10 23:14:24 +0000 UTCI like the stuff you write, but I would also like to start seeing your stories have endings before you start on the next one. I would like to read this, but im sitting over here wondering what happened to Garth, Calvin, and Jeb. Mostly Calvin though.
LordDark
2021-07-10 23:05:09 +0000 UTCI am loving it ..
Darune Albane
2021-07-10 22:59:55 +0000 UTCwill think about it when my life settles down.
Macronomicon
2021-07-10 22:44:51 +0000 UTCWho knows if you ever write 2 stories at once maybe you could have the more common one update more often and the NSFW ONE updating once a weekb just so there isnt a large period of time where people drop who don't care for that
Ford-Thomas Frank Loveland
2021-07-10 22:23:44 +0000 UTCyou and me both man, it's just...I catch a lot of shit for the erotic parts, and it seems to turn away a lot of people. i was thinking about doing a NSFW one of these days, though.
Macronomicon
2021-07-10 22:17:18 +0000 UTCI'm a little sad that it seems like each of your stories is slowly getting less erotic however the plots and character writing are becoming much much better
Ford-Thomas Frank Loveland
2021-07-10 21:59:40 +0000 UTC
