GSA 13-14

 Chapter 13: Blue Serpent Furnace

There was a wrenching squeal from the side of the camp, drawing everyone’s attention.

Jessica was unclasping a piece of torn steel from her neck, scowling down at it.

“Whazzat?” Jeb asked.

“Some kind of magical control collar. Eddie was planning on using it on me, but he didn’t have the Myst for it.”

“What is he, some kinda incel?” Brett demanded, scowling.

Ron snorted.

“Can I…see it?” Jeb asked.

All eyes turned to him. Some pitying, some cold.

Jeb held up a hand. “I swear, I will not use it as is. I just wanna take it apart and see how it ticks.”

Jessica watched him with calculating eyes for a moment longer.

“Knock yourself out.” She said, tossing him the warped collar.

“We’re gonna have to find you some new armor,” Amanda said, “You left your old stuff behind at the camp.”

“I didn’t leave it behind,” Jess answered. “They cut it off of me.”

Amanda pressed her lips together in consternation. “Sorry. Brett and I lost most of our stash when… We’ll get you something to wear, even if we’ve gotta make it ourselves.”

Jessica blinked a couple times, her eyebrows raising as if she’d had an epiphany. “That’s not a bad idea.” She leaned up against a tree and closed her eyes, adopting a meditative posture.

“You guys get some sleep,” Jeb said, getting their attention. “Ron and I got the night shift.”

Things could go very bad very quickly at night, which was why the people with the most area of control were tasked with night watch.

The others began settling down into a tight knot around the tiny campfire, composed of Jeb’s Fire-Flies spinning in a lazy cyclone, exuding a large amount of heat relative to their light.

The absolutely silent, ever watchful wall of zombies surrounding them was hecka unnerving, but the corpses prevented the light of the ‘fire’ from spilling out into the forest and attracting the new wave of monsters flooding into the woods.

Jeb studied the collar in the dim light.

It was pure steel on the sides, but the center had a little round decoration approximately the size of a silver dollar. Turning it this way and that, Jeb noticed a proprietary screw head on the back.

Out in the middle of the wilderness, it would have been a hopeless proposition to try and open it, but…

Jeb had long since graduated beyond needing a screwdriver. He grabbed the screw directly with a bit of Myst and spun it. A moment later, the back of the circular center popped off, revealing its guts.

Oooh, interesting.

Processed Control Lens (very Small)

The Control Lens is a mixed blessing that coalesces in exceptionally abusive households, and occasionally dungeons. It is a uniquely valuable ingredient in any wizard’s toolkit, as it allows a Myst user to control the effect of another lens beyond its initial manifestation.

Extremely valuable to Myst craftsmen, combat wizards and law enforcement. However, the Control Lens is most commonly found in slave collars. Due to their rarity, they constitute half of the value of the collars they reside in.

A single Slave Collar is worth more than a commoner earns in a decade.

This fact has led to some misguided parents being unreasonably strict with their children in the hopes that a lens will coalesce and relieve their financial woes, but results are often poor.

Jeb turned the rigid piece of leather in the shape of a lens back and forth in his hands. “Oh come on,” he muttered. “Owning the disintegrator is prohibited by law, but the obvious human rights violation isn’t?”

The lens was beading with a phantasmal liquid, dripping onto Jeb’s hands, where it vanished after a moment.

Jeb licked the lens.

Sweat and tears. He thought as the taste vanished from his tongue.

Jeb was starting to get a feel for the society they were being integrated with, and it wasn’t all good.

Well, on the upside, if these exist, then surely a Lens of Good Vibes will find its way to me one of these days. I should see what I can find at music festivals. Happiness probably tastes like unshaved armpits.

“Whatcha got?” Ron asked, sitting next to him.

Jeb wordlessly handed the lens over as he studied the rest of the guts. There were a few more components buried just behind the lens: a tiny Myst regulator, along with something that looked suspiciously like a chip, with several different pinholes for Myst to travel through, called a variable behavior inhibitor.

“Oooh, interesting,” Ron said, turning the lens over in his hand before he also licked it, making a sour face.

“Fireballs?”

“Or summoned creatures,” Jeb said. “I was thinking giant worm-scarabs.”

“You guys are creeping me out,” Amanda said, watching them pour over the guts of the slave collar with growing excitement.

“You just wouldn’t understand.” Ron said, rolling his eyes.

Amanda raised a brow.

“I mean…” Ron glanced at Brett.

“What are you looking at me for? You’re the one that stepped in it.”

Jessica snorted, her eyes still closed.

Jeb tossed the inhibitor into the fire and pocketed the regulator. He could pour Myst into it, and the tiny metal box allowed it to thread outward in a fine spool of energy, seemingly good to go for hours.

That’ll be handy.

“Sleepy time folks,” Jeb said, holding out his hand. Ron reluctantly put the Myst lens back in his palm, and Jeb pocketed that too.

The night passed surprisingly peacefully, and Jeb used that as an opportunity to study the fire-fly lantern. He was able to find where the top of the lantern had been crimped on and gently loosen it, peeling off the top to reveal the delicate guts of the magic item.

Inside was a part that could siphon small amounts of Myst from whoever was in physical contact, which fed into some kind of capacitor that would ‘tick’, or discharge every time it reached a certain amount of Myst, and a several sandwiched pieces of ‘miniscule’ Fire, Fly, and Control lenses. Tiny pieces of lens no bigger than a grain of rice pressed together tightly.

Jeb suspected that if he were to manually try to feed Myst through it, he’d burn out the lenses immediately.

His voltage was far too high.

Hence the tiny siphon and capacitor.

It really was a good way of maximizing cost to effectiveness, seeing as all three lens sandwiches could probably fit on the tip of his finger, they must have been relatively inexpensive.

The most important thing was that the design gave Jeb a good idea on how to create a system that could create controllable monsters. Controllable anything, really.

Let’s see, we’re limited by the smallest part, which would be the Very Small control lens, about the size of a quarter. I could do...giant scarabs…giant worms…

To be on the safe side, he wouldn’t make anything bigger than a horse… No, I don’t think they’ll be useful like that.

There was no guarantee the creatures would be robust enough to assist them in any meaningful way. In a system where Attributes like Body were a factor, couldn’t people and monsters with lots of it swing way above their weight class?

How was he supposed to know how much Body a created creature had, anyway? Jeb doubted it would be very high from the get-go, so even if he made death-worms the size of buses, if they got torn through like tissue paper, he’d be at a loss.

If not summons, then what?

Jeb immediately thought of slapping the Control Lens together with the Pure Flame lens and making the equivalent of a lightsaber.

As drool-worthy as that was, it was little more than a fancy toy. Would a flame-sword be cool? Yes. Did they need a flame-sword? No.

Did they need an automagic smelter/shaper? Well, probably not, but it had more utility than a flame-sword.

Jeb’s idea was to take the pure flame lens and pair it with the Control Lens, along with the small regulator riding shotgun, with a Control lens salvaged from the lantern affixed to the  output on the regulator.

That should give me what I want…but I should test it before I get too far into this.

Jeb pried one of the five sandwiches of lenses out of the lantern, then peeled them apart using the edge of the blade. Once he had the miniscule lens separated, he gently attached it to the front of the pinhole where the little iron box release Myst.

Once that was done, he filled it with Myst and then separated his thread of Myst from it.

Sure enough, Jeb was able to control the small amount of Myst winding out of the regulator.

He used the thread of Myst to pick up progressively larger objects, until the rice-grain Control Lens snapped around five pounds, leaving the regulator spilling uncontrolled Myst into the atmosphere.

Okay, we’re gonna have to make the big Control lens pull double duty.

Jeb compared the size of his pure flame lens to the other with a frown. With careful cutting, I might be able to get four Very Small lenses out of this one. Just small enough to nestle beside the regulator.

Alright, let’s try this.

Jeb hardened a razor-sharp piece of toothed air and dragged it across the side of the lens, cutting it hot-dog style. He made sure to save the dust. Who knew what you could do with lens dust?

Once he cut it long ways, he cut it down the center, and got four roughly equal parts.

Jeb pulled out his file and got to work.

The hours went by as Jeb whittled, first working on the lens, then fitting it in beside the regulator, making sure each of them had a unique section of the Control Lens, and that they wouldn’t overlap with each other.

Then he went about making a handle for it, carved out of a nearby branch.

Let’s see, Myst goes in here, Then it gets channeled up and hits the splitter here…

He was still going over the details when the sun came up, revealing the zombie horde surrounding them in all its dreadful glory. Jeb didn’t have the mind to pay attention to that unimportant fact, though, he was on a roll.

“Ugh, Jeb, you’re still awake?” Amanda said, wiping sand out of her eyes.

He paused and glanced at the sun rising above the forest.

“Umm..yes.”

Jeb glanced over and spotted Ron passed out under the nearby tree, Jessica sitting on the log above him, surveying the surroundings with a watchful eye.

“You looked like you were having fun.” Jessica said with a shrug.

“What’s it do?” Brett asked, glancing at the piece of wood in his hand while making breakfast. it looked something like a shitty bike handle with little lumps coming off the side where the regulator and the pure flame lens met.

“I guess this is my ‘hello world’ Myst crafting proof of concept.” Jeb said, turning it this way and that. “If I’m right, it should serve as a furnace to melt and shape steel.”

“… But why?”

“Because I couldn’t think of anything better,” Jeb grumbled.

“What if you’re wrong?” Jessica asked.

“I suppose it’ll explode or drip molten steel all over my hands.”

The three conscious members of the party leaned away from Jeb’s invention.

“I’m pretty sure it won’t.”

Jeb turned it over in his hands half a dozen times, reviewing every aspect of the lumpy handle.

I’ll probably want to add a drip-guard.

“Let’s see what this thing can do,” Jeb said, picking up a warped piece of the broken metal collar.

He split his siphoned Myst into two tiny threads, channeling one into the broken collar, while the other he fed into the handle of his invention.

FWOOSH!

In the brief moment between the explosive activation of the smelter and Jeb’s instinctive wall of force around it, Jeb lost a week’s worth of beard and his eyebrows.

At the end of Jeb’s outstretched arm, a pillar of blue flame was manifesting four inches above the lens and reaching a length of ten feet into the sky.

The thread of Telekinetic Myst leaking out of the regulator, he used to create an enclosure, somewhat diminishing the searing heat.

If it wasn’t just a jet of flame, that would be good. Maybe I can make a lid that…

In front of Jeb’s eyes, the snake of blue flame squashed itself down until it was only a few feet tall.

That’s right, the Control lens. Does that mean…

He willed the flame to form a tight coil. The brilliant blue flames responded instantly.

Chuckling, Jeb tossed the wrecked steel collar into the enclosure, holding it there with his Myst.

The length of flame coiled around the steel like a living thing, like a brilliant blue snake strangling its prey. In seconds, the steel turned dark, then cherry red, then white hot, then it began to spark as it melted, the only thing holding it in place being his Myst.

“You want a souvenir?” Jeb asked, glancing at Jessica.

“Pass.”

“Here goes nothing,” Jeb said, with a grimace, getting ready to pull his hand out from under the molten steel.

He dropped his Myst.

The regulator kept working, releasing his Myst as a thin strand that could last for hours. The telekinetic box above his hand was still there. The piece of molten steel lost its shape and dropped to the bottom of the box, causing him to flinch.

Four inches above his hand, the white hot piece of liquid metal rested on nothing, only projecting a fraction of its heat.

He split two new strands and created two hands of pure force. Hands were something familiar to Jeb, manipulating the rapidly cooling steel into a shape more suited to his purposes.

“Holy shit. I love it.” Ron stood in front of Jeb’s creation, practically drooling. Jeb ignored him. He was more focused on what he wanted to use the little bit of steel for.

Ron stood and pointed a dramatic finger at Jeb’s creation

“I hereby officially name that, the Blue Serpent Furnace.”

“Ron…” Jeb said, glancing up at the necromancer with exasperation.

Name accepted.

Blue Serpent Furnace (Rare)

The first creation by the Human Mystic Trapsmith, Jebediah Trapper, this novel multi-tool was created using rare and valuable lenses. It is most effective in the hands of Wizards with the Telekinetic core or Sub-core.

The blue Serpent Furnace uses telekinetic force to create any tool imaginable, as well as effectively harnesses the heat of the Pure-Flame lens for smithing, cooking, smelting, or combat purposes. The pure flame resembles a serpent when in use, giving the item its name.

You have created the highest rarity unique magic item of your species.

Innovator Accolade Granted!  

Innovator:

This accolade grants a passive bonus to the preservation and reclamation of materials that would otherwise be wasted in the user’s creations. This bonus only applies to the user’s creations. It is not a bonus to salvaging others.

-If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!

Jeb read and re-read the notification.

“Damn it, Ron, you’re lucky you picked a decent name. Or else, I’d have to thump ya.” Jeb said.

“Please,” Ron said, crossing his arms. “I’ve read enough 'Xianxia' to name an artifact or two.”

“Not really helping your case, there, Ron.” Brett said.

Jessica gave a faint smile from where she perched on the log.

After a couple minutes of fiddling around with the molten steel, Jeb started to get the hang of it, bending and stretching the goopy liquid steel into the rough shape he was imagining. Until he realized there was a much simpler method of getting what he wanted, one that people had been using for millennia.

How did he do it?

He cheated. By solidifying some air into the shape of the mold he wanted and re-heating the steel, he was able to inject the white-hot liquid into the exact shape he wanted. None of this fumbling around.

He’d save that for when he wanted to try for something layered or otherwise unique. 

In a matter of minutes, the little hollow cylinder cooled, eventually becoming cool enough to manipulate by hand.

“What, um…” Ron asked, frowning at the piece of steel. “What’s this supposed to be?”

“A better handle,” Jeb said, pulling the lenses and the regulator out and slotting them into the exact place they needed to be before latching the simple hinge back down over it and closing it with a tiny screw. Then he cut a slice of wood and used that to top the handle.

Over time the wood would char, acting as a…halfway decent buffer between the heat of the furnace and the incredibly heat-conductive handle.

That was the biggest downside of using a steel handle, but the upside was that the lenses were now safely ensconced in a quarter inch of solid steel. They weren’t gonna get broken without some serious effort behind it.

On the other hand…

He glanced over at Ron’s death knight.

There were people who could probably snap it like a twig.

Now that he was done with his project, Jeb was incredibly tired. Every fiber of his being wanted to drag him down into the nice soft dirt for a nap.

But first, they needed to get distance.

“You can sleep on the Palanquin.” Ron said, as if reading Jeb’s mind. The necromancer was pointing over his shoulder at the planks carried by his undead.

Jeb blinked, his eyes gummy.

“I can go one more day,” He said, taking three deep breaths, dispelling the fatigue with a rapid intake of oxygen to boost his heart rate. Old tricks, coming in handy.

They moved.

Over the course of the day, they cut their way through the forest, heading west, away from the enormous tortoise that was literally spewing monsters into the environment, slowly turning its head their direction.

The tortoise was turning into the forest.

Hours could pass and you could barely tell it had shifted at all, but the colossal tortoise was shifting, putting one leg in front of the other. Entering the forest.

Looking for them.

Phase two sucks.

They were halfway across the forest, moving at the fastest pace they could with all the baggage. As with so many things, they were only as fast as their slowest member.

Max speed was such:

1. Jeb at about 120MPH through telekinetic flight.

2. Jessica, pulling 100MPH by dicking with her mass. She could go much faster in short bursts, but they were tiresome.

3. Amanda at a highway 55MPH

4. Brett at a respectable 50 MPH

5. Ron at an inhuman 35MPH

6. Ron’s zombies at about 25 MPH

They weren’t about to abandon their meat shields. Even if Jeb picked himself and Ron up and they abandoned the rotting fleshbags, they’d be forced to abandon all of their luggage, including the lion’s share of their food and both Ron and the Courvar’s trade goods.

Now, Jeb wasn’t big on material wealth. Never had been. But this was one of those months where the difference between dying and not dying might depend on putting that enchanted shield Amanda won lying down into the right person’s hands.

No, they needed more speed. They needed to raise the lowest person’s speed. Best way to do that was by taking people off the list.

Jeb glanced at Ron’s palanquin.

Idea!

Jeb’s carrying capacity was in the tons and growing. He could easily carry all the luggage plus himself simply by lifting a wide piece of wood or fabric.

Flying carpet type deal.

But is it worth it? Jeb thought. They were hiding from the torrent of monsters under the safety of the canopy. Carrying everything on a huge platform would only go significantly faster above the snarl of trees.

Jeb floated up and peeked out of the green leaves.

The sky was littered with patrolling monsters.

Nope, Jeb thought, dropping back down into the woods.

“Seriously, flying is such a cheat.” Ron said, shaking his head as he and the others relaxed on the palanquin.

“If you earn a telekinesis lens, I’ll make a flying belt for you, if you want. I think I could handle it.”

“Really!?”

“It might tear you in half, but still,” Jeb shrugged.

Ron narrowed his eyes. “I’m still in. Flying is the shit.” Ron’s dedication to ‘magic’ made Jeb crack the first smile of the day.

The two of them had totally different viewpoints on magic. Ron was dedicated to the ‘form’, what he thought was ‘cool’. He wanted to recreate spells directly out of D&D and Diablo. He was dedicated to making his Myst fit into that box.

Jeb…Jeb felt more like a mechanic with grease up to his elbows. He didn’t really care whether it was pretty, or what the magic’s name was. His only concern was with performance; what it did.

Which was probably why he got Telekinesis, and Ron got Necromancy.

Amanda was an idealist, so she healed.

Jessica… Jeb glanced over at Jess, who was sitting on the Palanquin, her eyes closed, feet crossed.

He didn’t know what Jess had, or how her personality would manifest when it interacted with Myst. Jess seemed cold and practical, wary of men in general, and slow to trust.

The question was, was that the Jess who pressed the Impossible button, or was this what the Tutorial had made of her?

He traced her rounded cheek with his gaze, noting the faint freckles.

Jess’s eyes popped open, catching Jeb staring at her.

Shit.

“I did it!” she exclaimed.

“Did it?”

“Check this out.”  She said, making a dramatic pose and tensing.

Nothing happened.

“Was something supposed to happen?” Brett asked.

“It’s too much Myst. Hold on…” She tried a few more things, her frown deepening.

“Ah, here.”

Jessica held up a finger and Jeb watched as a thread of pinkish Myst swirled out of her hand and condensed around her finger. It settled into the shape of an armored finger ring, with an inch-long talon jutting off of it.

Cool. If that’s the first thing she can make right out of the gate, then she should be able to armor her entire body in no time. There’s even the possibility she might be able to make more than armor, possibly weapons or enchanted gear. It’s a good fit for her. She probably hasn’t even started taking in Myst seriously yet, so we can expect a lot of improvement.

“That’s –“

“That’s hilarious!” Ron said. “It’s like a magical girl transformation! What are you gonna do with finger armor?”

Jess jabbed him with the razor sharp talon, punching through a joint in his armor.

“…I stand corrected.” Ron whispered, clutching his bleeding side.

“Jess,” Amanda admonished, healing Ron with a tap on his side. “There was no need to go that far.”

“He stands corrected.” Jessica said, brows raised.

“it’s a good power,” Jeb said. “I can already think of a couple ways you can use it. Now you just gotta draw in Myst and burn it...

“It’s not a star.” Jessica said.

“What is it?”

Jess actually blushed.

“It’s…a magical wardrobe. I fill it with Myst folded into bolts of cloth. The more I add, the bigger the wardrobe gets, but some of them spill out because it’s not a one to one ratio. I use the ones that spilled out to make clothes.”

“So it’s functionally similar to mine. Where did you get the idea?” Jeb asked.

“Amanda was saying we would make me some new armor if we had to,” She said, motioning to herself. “I remembered, I used to watch…anime when I was younger, and there was a girl who could summon armor and weapons. I thought she was badass. When I tried making a core with that in mind, it clicked.”

Ron put a hand on her shoulder. “Everyone thinks Erza Scarlet is badass.” He nodded sagely.

Jeb frowned.

“Who?”

Brett raised a hand.

“I’m starting to feel left out here.” He said.

Jeb sat down with Brett and explained Myst and his experience with it. Even Amanda was able to make some improvements in how she used her Myst. Amanda had, until this point, dipped directly into her ‘well of life’ rather than use the stuff that sloshed over the edge, stunting the growth of her powers.

Brett didn’t currently have any Myst, but he was eager to get some.

That meant levels and accolades.

Are there any more bosses left in the forest? There’s gotta be. If not the forest, then the lands beyond.

Jeb saw a familiar lump in the ground to the south.

“Hold up.”

Jeb jumped off the palanquin and zoomed forward, crossing the distance to the barrow in moments.

“We meet again, scarab dungeon.”

Jeb distinctly recalled promising to pay the dungeon a visit again when he was strong enough to tear the guts of the dungeon out of the stone.

Well, he was strong enough now.

He walked into the single hall and hopped over the beam, then stood under the hollowed out ceiling where he’d stolen the lens.

He reached up into the stone and yanked.

There was a crack and the entire dungeon rumbled. A moment later, the center of the ceiling fell loose, slamming down onto the earth in front of him with a cacophonous explosion.

When the dust cleared, he was faced with a massive wedge of stone.

“Are you okay?” Amanda called from the entrance.

“Fine!”

“That made a lot of noise!” Brett said. “Whatever you’re doing, make it quick. I don’t want this to be our last stand!”

Jeb crouched down in front of the wedge and ran his gaze along the rough stone.

There. A silvery dot that had no place in the stone. When he looked closer, he could see a faint difference in the quality of the stone on either side.

A seam.

He grabbed either side of the seam telekinetically and wrenched the stone apart.

With a crack, the stone split, revealing more of the guts of the scarab trap.

It was a god-damned gold mine.

There was a little tube that looked something like a fuse, except it seemed to have a blue sphere at one end and a prism in the center. The other end had a tiny hole.

Myst seemed to be sucked into the hole as a vapor, then when it hit the prism, it was changed into a light-wave and ejected out through the glass sides, creating a steady rainbow glow emerging from it.

Very Small Myst Generator (Uncommon)

Found in enchanted objects that need to perform a discrete external effect without input from the user, The Myst generator passively draws in Myst and converts it to a usable state for lenses.

Due to the cost inherent in creating them, they are seldom found outside military and industrial applications.

Mine. Jeb shoved the finger-length glass tube in his pocket, then scavenged as much of the rest of the trap as he possibly could.

He found a Myst capacitor that made the one in his lantern look like baby-time, along with a little snarl of magi-tech that was responsible for making the capacitor click ten times.

He grabbed that, and several feet of what looked suspiciously like fiber-optics, stuffed them all into his bag and hustled out.

The beam in the center of the hall was dark, not having a constant supply of Myst delivered to it.

I wish I had time to steal the trigger mechanism too, but Brett’s right. We can’t afford to dick around here too long.

Jeb hurried out and the train of humans and zombies got back underway.

Not a moment too soon, because a few minutes later, they heard the sound of stone being ripped to shred by claws behind them. Imagine what a living chainsaw would sound like, and you’ve got an idea.

It wasn’t long after that they started running into trouble. The monsters started nipping at their heels.

Whenever a creature caught up with them, Ron would have some of his zombies hold it in place while they kept going.

Stopping to fight the creatures would get them bogged down faster than you could say it.

They were losing four or five zombies here and there, but they managed to put pursuit behind them after a while.

They were passing north of the clearing Jeb had woken up in when a fluttering faerie slammed into the side of Jeb’s head like a bird against a windshield.

Thump!

Jeb felt tiny hands grab onto his ears as Smartass dominated his field of vision, hovering barely an inch away from his nose.

“M&M Lord! You have to help us! Giant monsters are eating all our babies!” Desperation and panic were carved on the little creature’s face. He didn’t really have any choice but to see it.

Jeb didn’t have to help them, but he sure as shit owed the fluttering idiots a lot more than the shoeful of M&Ms he’d given them.

“Keep going west,” Jeb said, rising into the air. “I’ll catch up.”

Chapter 14: Gigantism is in the eye of the beholder

“This way!” Smartass shouted, streaking off into the distance.

Jeb put a windshield in front of him and blasted through the woods, swerving around massive trees like a certain landspeeder in a popular film.

The woods stretched out around him as he put on speed, looking almost like a hallway as he whipped through the woods.

The hallway outside the room.

The thought began burrowing its way in through the top of his consciousness. The canopy above him began to seem jagged and ominous. His nerves felt like they’d been dipped in ice.

No time for that bullshit! Baby faeries! If I’m dead, I’m dead, goddamnit!

Jeb thrust the dark thoughts aside with a shout and put on more speed, his thumb unconsciously tracing the scar on his hand.

He reached the former safe-zone in less than a minute, coming to a hard stop in the middle of the clearing, the wind swirling to catch up with him.

What he saw…was less than impressive.

“Shoo, shoo!” the Faeries were swarming around the upper branches of their oak tree, their fluttering wings nearly preventing him from seeing the…squirrels being harassed from branch to branch by angry faeries, their cheeks stuffed with nuts.

To be fair, the squirrels were bigger than the faeries, but Jeb had been expecting more from the word ‘giant’.

“Smartass, your young don’t grow inside acorns, do they?” Jeb asked.

“No, why would they do that?” Smartass said, glancing at him sideways, brow raised. “Those acorns are the pride and joy of our tribe. We use them to make tools, clothes, poop bombs and so on. Their tough shells and delicious insides are absolutely essential for every convenience of the modern faerie.”

Jeb’s eyes narrowed as he watched the faerie’s gaze drift away from his, expression guilty.

“You invested all your money in the acorn business, didn’t you?”

“Please!” Smartass said grabbing him by the ear and kneeling on his shoulder. “They’re eating all my stock! If you don’t help me, I’m ruined. Ruined!”

Jeb was tempted to help, except for the fact that once he did, he would be opening the door to an ocean of stupid requests.

“Maybe next time you’ll diversify,” Jeb said, keeping his heart as ice cold as possible while his one-time apprentice bawled his eyes out.

Wait a minute. They have telekinesis too. From what he could remember they could at least move a rough shovelful of it.

“Can’t you use magic?” Jeb asked.

“No, you don’t understand!” Smartass said. “These furry destroyers are far too perceptive and fast for our magic to catch them! You’re the only one powerful enough! Please, catch them with your gigantic sausage fingers, or grab them with your super-duper magic!”

“Listen,” Jeb said, gently brushing Smartass off his shoulder. “It’s not safe for me to be here, so I’m gonna catch up with the rest of my group. If there’s a life-or death emergency, don’t hesitate to call.”

Smartass opened his mouth to respond when a girl’s scream tore through the clearing.

Jeb whipped his head around and spotted Casey The Pregnant Teen stumble out of the woods, cradling her stomach as she waddled at top speed. He didn’t know if it was because she was pregnant, or because she hadn’t gotten any levels, but it wasn’t very fast.

A spine whipped out of the woods and embedded in the young girl’s shoulder, whirling her around and sending her toppling to the ground. She desperately caught herself on her hands a moment before she landed on her stomach, a scene that nearly made Jeb bite a hole in his pants.

Every human instinct in his body was telling him this:

Pregnant women get a free pass.

Smartass’s jaw dropped as Jeb lunged forward to help Casey.

I didn’t make the rules for humans, Jeb thought as his body picked itself up and flew forward at max speed, arriving beside the girl with the oversized belly.

Jeb didn’t have time to dick around. He didn’t know what the situation was, or whether or not the spine was poisoned.

He knelt down beside the black haired teen and made a fist around the inch wide spine perforating her shoulder, brutally yanking it out with a spray of blood before she could realize what he was doing.

Like ripping off a bandaid.

“AAH-“

Jeb siphoned out a huge gob of Myst and channeled it through his cane, keeping his eyes on the forest. The cane created a radius of healing energy that seemed to soak into Jeb’s bones. Naturally the expectant mother was in the area.

“Aah?” Casey’s scream ended in a question as her shoulder patched itself up.

The undergrowth shook.

Jeb held his right hand out, splayed, as he grabbed Casey’s arm with the other.

The Mystic trigger deployed the shield in front of his hand, moments before three more spines almost the size of his wrist whistled out of the woods, ricocheting off the plane of force.

“Are you okay!?” Jeb asked, creating some mind-bullets.

“Ugh,” Casey half-sobbed, her goth mascara running down her cheeks as she stumbled.

I’ll take that as a yes, Jeb thought, pulling her back as three creatures leaped out of the woods.

They looked…half tiger, half porcupine, half lizard.

150% asshole.

They snarled in a way that would almost be cute if they weren’t obviously about to eat people.

“Yia!” they chirruped, leaping toward the two of them.

“Pardon,” Jeb said, picking Casey up, causing the girl to yelp as he stumped backwards, a risky proposition with a pegleg.

The three monsters lunged toward them.

The first one smashed its nose on the invisible shield hanging in midair. The other two dodged around the paralyzed monster with catlike reflexes, angling for the two of them.

Jeb sent his mind-bullets toward the closer one, sending a spike of hardened air through the creature’s forehead and scrambling it’s brain.

He shifted his arm under Casey’s legs and aimed his finger at the third one leaping at them, paws wide.

“Juggernaut.” Jeb gave the command of one of his ‘full auto’ triggers.

A hundred spikes of telekinetic force shot out of the space in front of his finger in the span of four seconds, tearing the leaping monster to shreds.

Jeb clomped backwards further as he struggled to put more distance between him and the last creature, the one stunned by the plane of force.

He was preparing to skewer it from the side with his mind-bullets when it staggered back from the shield and gave a bloody howl that sank into his skin and froze his spine.

Leaky cum-guzzling son of a bitch!

Jeb directed the bullets around the shield and through the creature’s skull, scrambling its brains a bit out of spite.

“Alright, we gotta get out of here before – “

The little goth teen let out a strangled cry and curled around her stomach, her expression showing extreme pain.

“What’s going on? Did you get hit?”

Casey didn’t say anything for roughly half a minute, simply gritting her teeth and sweating.

A moment later, she caught her breath, panting. “My stomach has been tightening up so hard I think I’m gonna break. Something’s wrong with my baby.”

Contractions?

Any man in their forties, whether they want to or not, whether it be from romantic comedies or experience with their sister, in law, or wife, has osmosed a bit of pregnancy knowledge.

“When was the last one?” He asked.

From his vague knowledge they started hours and hours apart and gradually grew closer together, until it was baby time. If they were lucky, the last one was an hour ago, and he’d be able to get her to –

“A few minutes,” She gasped, her eyes tearing.

Jeb bit back a torrent of curses.

She’s on the home stretch.

“You need to take off your skinny-pants. Baby’s coming.” Jeb said, clomping over to the oak tree and setting her down.

“What?”

“You didn’t know?” Jeb asked, frowning.

Casey shook her head, causing Jeb’s ire to flare up. Every single prospective parent nowadays would do some kind of research about the process, either from curiousity or fear.

“You had nine months and the internet, how could you not know – “

Jeb cut his tirade short, seeing the teen’s fearful eyes gazing up at him, watery with tears.

Everybody’s got their own circumstances. Remind me to find her parents and kick the shit out of ‘em.

“I didn’t know, ah swear.” She said, her voice wavering, a hint of a southern accent peeking through.

“Okay, there’s nothing to be concerned about,” Jeb said soothingly, doing his best to calm her down.

“I’ve done this a bunch of times before.”

Lie.

“I did an at-home birth with my wife for both our kids.”

Jeb had never been married.

“And helped with a few overseas.”

Also untrue.

“I know what I’m doing.” Jeb said, giving her a smile and a thumbs up.

Complete and utter bullshit.

She looked like she felt better, though, and that was what Jeb was going for. A relaxed pregnant woman was better than a terrified pregnant woman, all other factors being equal. He couldn’t change the fact that he was unqualified, only how Casey felt about it.

“Alright, let’s get those pants off. Junior’s not gonna be able to get through denim.”

When he saw Casey struggling to get her hands over her own distended belly, he took the initiative and began unbuckling her pants.

“Hi, my name’s Jebediah, most people call be Jeb. I’ve got a strict rule of being on a first name basis with a woman before taking her pants off.” He said, hoisting her hips up and yanking the tight denim down, undies and all.

“Casey,” she gasped.

“Casey, nice to meet you.” Jebediah turned to the side, where Smartass and a dozen other faeries were hovering curiously.

“You guys have been drafted.”

“Uh…what?” Smartass asked.

“Your M&M lord commands it! Fetch me water and towels!”

The faeries scattered.

He turned back to Casey. The black-haired goth teen with the running mascara was watching him with a frightened expression.

“Faeries,” Jeb said by way of explanation. “By the way, what’s your Body at? This is relevant to your pregnancy.”

“Thirteen.” She said moments before another contraction hit her, causing her to groan and clench her jaw.

Excellent. Thirteen is well into superhuman territory, so as long as she doesn’t crush her baby’s skull, she should be relatively safe, being significantly tougher than a normal mom.

Jeb had heard plenty of stories about women bleeding out, and basically all the way up until the last hundred years, birth had been a crapshoot, where mothers dropped like flies.

And even if her natural resilience failed, there was the Vivicant cane. Brett had refilled it for him, and he’d used one for the spike in her shoulder, leaving him with three uses.

If three uses of magical healing couldn’t compensate for a lack of high-tech facility, Jeb would eat his hat.

I guess now I’ve gotta…check the dilation?

Peering into a gaping, bloody pussy wasn’t Jeb’s idea of a good time, but you did what you had to do.

About three inches, Jeb thought to himself. He was pretty sure the number for a baby head that he’d heard thrown around was ten centimeters.

Friggin’ metric system.

He did some quick conversion.

About four inches. Looks like we’re most of the way there.

Crash!

Jeb’s head swiveled, and he took in a humongous scaled monster with sharp teeth and a ravenous appetite that had just landed in the clearing. Most likely attracted by the spiny bastard’s howls.

It stood fifteen feet high at the shoulder, Absolutely massive, and big enough to swallow either of them in a single bite. It had a flat head covered in thick, sturdy scales, and a dumb look in its eye.

Casey let out a frightened whimper.

“Relax,” Jeb said. “I had to fight off monsters when my wife was delivering, too. This is totally normal.”

Jeb didn’t know if she caught the joke, or if it revealed his bullshit. Too late to worry about it now.

“SMARTASS!” Jeb said, watching the newcomer scan the area and lock onto them.

“Yessir, M&M lord?”

“Watch her dilation. When you see the baby’s head, gently pull it out. If she starts bleeding out or dying out at any point, channel all your Myst through the cane.” He said, dropping the cane down beside Casey.

“Yessir, M&M Lord!” Smartass said, saluting him before flying down between Casey’s legs. A moment later, a shrill voice began screaming.

“Oh gods it’s hideous! It’s like the gates of Tartarus opening up in front of me!  A body can’t hold that much blood!”

Smartass immediately panicked and hit the panic button.

Jeb felt a cool rush of healing magic wash over him.

“Did you just…”

Jeb was interrupted as the creature began charging.

Jeb siphoned out two threads. One he used to lift himself off the ground, the other he wrapped around the creature’s head, intending to snap it’s neck.

Jeb…failed. The monster was ridiculously strong, and it’s sheer mass prevented him from completely stopping its charge toward Casey.

Then, change its course.

Jeb flew to the left, and dragged the creature’s head to the left as well, causing it to miss the oak tree by a few feet, spraying dirt from it’s scrabbling claws on Casey and Smartass.

It charged another hundred feet before it seemed to realize it had missed its target, glancing over its shoulder at the offending oak tree with ire.

“No, you look at ME!” Jeb said, flying in front of it, feeling a lot like one of the faeries himself as he taunted the creature.

“Pip one.”

He shot it right in the nose. Just as Jeb had feared, the mind-bullet failed to penetrate. Matter of fact, it ricocheted off, whizzing into the distance to no effect.

This must be one of those level fifty monsters the faeries told me about.

It snorted and shook its head, dim eyes refocusing on Jeb.

He gave the gigantic monster the finger.

Jeb didn’t know if it was the mind-bullet or the finger, but he liked to think that flipping the giant monster off is what made it charge him, trying to bite him out of the air.

Jeb had an especially uncomfortable view of the creature’s mouth as he flitted out of the way of its savage bites. It was pink with dark blue barbs coming off of it facing backwards, designed to prevent prey from escaping once they were in its maw.

How the fuck am I supposed to kill this thing? Jeb demanded to himself, carefully going through his choices as he led it further away from the oak tree.

Until he heard a scream in the distance.

He glanced past the gnashing teeth and spotted more monsters coming out of the sky to land in the clearing, orienting on Casey and Smartass.

Damnit!

Jeb released the creature’s head and sent his Myst over to Casey, covering her in a small, powerful dome of force.

Freed from hindrance, the creature’s snapping lunges grew even more frantic.

You want a taste of me? FINE!

Jeb wrapped himself in an egg of force and shoved himself directly into the creature’s mouth.

“Room full of Charlies.”

Jeb exploded with telekinetic blades and mind-bullets, three hundred and sixty degrees of destruction, from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet.

Every direction.

Jeb had made it with being imprisoned in a camp full of hostiles and no friendlies in mind, but being swallowed whole worked too.

There was an eruption of blood around him, drenching him through his shattered telekinetic egg.

Jeb reupped his flight and dragged himself out of the creature’s ruined mouth, exiting through the mangled lower jaw rather than crossing the teeth and fighting the barbs.

He shot out into the air, leaving the collapsing titan behind him as he approached the smaller monsters clawing the shield around Casey and scaring the poor girl witless.

A white tiger, lamprey-dragon, and raptor-looking thing were taking turns trying to peel the protective barrier away from the pantless girl.

Jeb swooped in, pointing a finger at the leftmost creature.

“Mark of Cain.”

Mind-bullets started pouring out, twenty-five a second as the cascade of Mystic Triggers unraveled. Jeb drew an arc through the three creatures, carefully avoiding the girl.

Each of the monsters got six or so bullets puncturing their torso, the other eighty were lost into the environment.

There’s a reason they call it spray and pray.

The white tiger went down, a hole in its heart, but the other two looked at him and snarled. The white lamprey-dragon was bleeding a white goop from its side as it lunged up at him, its stubby claws finding purchase on the goddamn air.

Flying? Not fair, Jeb thought hypocritically as he floated backwards, leading the creature away while the raptor chased after him on the ground. Every second he let them bleed themselves out, the better his odds.

Jeb dropped his flight, ducking under the squirmy lamprey-dragon. He used the Myst thread to form a mind-bullet and shoved it through the charging raptor’s face.

That did the trick, now –

Jeb’s thoughts were cut off as a slippery tail smacked into his head, nearly crumpling his spine as it sent him hurtling to the ground.

Jeb hit earth in an explosion of dust and pain, heady groggy and seeing stars.

Keep moving.

He shoved himself up and to the side an instant before the lamprey’s mouth gouged out a trough of dirt where he’d been lying.

Jeb quickly scanned the surroundings.

He didn’t see any more monsters.

I’m gonna risk it.

He released the dome of force around Casey and siphoned two new threads of Myst, sucking the corona of energy around his star until it was empty, jettisoning it out into the world.

Jeb’s ‘threads’ of Myst came out pretty chonkin’ as he sent both of them up to the eel-shaped dragon bearing down on him.

Your flesh looks soft, he thought, seizing the creature’s bones with one thread and everything else with the other. He could feel the creature’s internal Myst fighting against his, but it felt like a baby bird struggling in his cupped hands.

The creature’s bones began to show against its soft skin as he began to pull them apart, causing it to writhe in pain.

In a move he’d learned from Mortal Kombat, Jeb tore out the eel’s flexible spine.

Jeb tossed the two halves of the monster aside and hopped over to Casey. His pegleg had wandered off somewhere, so he finally picked himself up and glided the last dozen feet over to her side.

“And how are we doing?” He asked, giving his most professional, calm tone of voice despite being covered in viscera.

“I think I can see the head!” Smartass cried, trying not to throw up. “So much blood…”

“I can feel something!” Casey groaned, unaware of the faerie keeping an eye on the situation. “I think it’s coming!”

Her eyes widened. “Above you!”

Jeb raised his left hand, fingers splayed as wide as he could get them.

The shield deployed just in time to ward off the crash of talons above him.

“Smartass, I gotta deal with this. You got this under control?”

“She pooped on me!” Smartass shouted, covered from head to toe in…stuff, wiping himself off furiously with one of the wet rags.

“Suck it up, buttercup!” Jeb said, using his Myst threads to fling the snarling creature away from them.

The other Faeries arrived while Jeb was dealing with the monster, carrying rags and several MRE containers full of water.

It became a joint effort, with Casey pushing, fairies pulling, and Jeb making sure they didn’t get killed by the unceasing onslaught of monsters.

You have gained a level!

You are now level 36!

Jeb was busily murdering the endless stream of creatures attracted to the sound of fighting when he heard the crying of an infant.

Yes! Now we can leave, Jeb thought, blasting over to the tree where dozens of faeries were proudly holding the bloody baby above their heads, Smartass standing on top of it like an exultant mountain climber.

“Look,” Smartass said, thumping his chest. “At what I have created! I am the bringer of life! I claim this human as my own and shall call her –”

Casey looked highly confused about the way her baby was seemingly floating in midair, and she scooped it up, not hearing the faerie’s indignant protests. Smartass was accidentally sandwiched between the baby and mother, his wings twitching as he struggled to escape.

“Can’t stay here,” Jeb said, landing beside her and pulling out his knife, cutting the umbilical cord with the confidence of desperation.

Jeb picked her up and wrapped a single thread of Myst around the two of them, picking them up and zooming away.

Behind him, Jeb felt the air vibrate to the powerful beat of a wing.

He glanced behind them and wished he hadn’t.

A toad-looking creature that dwarfed the other monsters swooped over them, it’s gullet expanding an instant before it dropped a rain of fire above their heads.

In a desperate bid to survive, Jeb made a two-layered bubble of air around the two of them, desperate to insulate them for the extra second or two it would take to get out of the clearing.

It worked.

Jeb and Casey made it out of the clearing zooming through the forest, safe inside their little bubble of protection.

The faeries on the other hand…

Jeb glanced back and his heart sank.

The entire clearing was on fire. The great oak carrying the entire Mossy-oak-in-the-clearing clan was ablaze, burning like it’d been doused with napalm.

Son of a bitch! Jeb gritted his teeth and put on more speed, aiming to lose pursuit in the woods. There was nothing he could do for them now.

He’d known it was dangerous to stay there, but he’d done it anyway. Too dangerous to move a woman in labor. Didn’t want to get ambushed searching for Jessica and co. Those thoughts had gotten people who’d helped him killed.

I should’ve just left and taken her with me.

Jeb took a deep breath, locked those thoughts away, and refocused on the now.

Now, he had to get Casey and baby to the rest of the group and get them somewhere safe. Get Amanda to look after them, make sure they didn’t die over the next couple hours…

“Ah, fuck I left my cane!”

The cane was certainly destroyed, whether it be from Faerie overuse or simply being burned to a crisp by toad/dragon fire.

You better be worth it, Jeb thought, glaring vindictively at the nursing baby.