FBI: Chapter 200/202

Chapter 200: Dante, Teddy, and the Transformers

Soon, Dante's proposal was put into action.

For him, it was just a matter of notifying Professor X.

"This way, we'll be colleagues from now on."

Dante shook hands with Linda, then with Amanadiel.

But the moment he touched Amanadiel's hand, the angel jolted like he'd been electrocuted.

He looked at Dante in disbelief.

"Dante, why do you have such a strong aura on you!"

"Aura? What aura?" Lucifer immediately grew alert. Amanadiel's expression now was even more intense than when he came looking for his child. "Why don't I feel anything from Dante? Explain yourself!"

Amanadiel glanced at his noisy brother, took a breath, and said seriously, "On Dante, there's a strong aura of divine creation."

"And it carries one-hundred-millionth of the All Father's true spirit."

"At the very least, it's equivalent to a living saint."

Lucifer's expression changed drastically.

He grabbed Dante's hand immediately but found... nothing.

Amanadiel knew his brother too well. He shook his head. "Don't bother, Lucifer. You still wield Hell's authority, and that authority has obscured your perception of the All Father's power."

"But for me, the aura of divine creation is too obvious," Amanadiel said, pausing to find the right words. "It's as obvious as a skunk farting on Dante."

Dante's mouth twitched.

"Amanadiel, if your education level is low, don't try so hard to explain. Although, that was… vivid."

"So, Dante, have you recently come into contact with anything strange?" Amanadiel asked. "This creation infused with divine life might not necessarily be alive itself."

Dante slapped his forehead.

Damn it.

It's Teddy, that foul-mouthed, five-poison little bastard.

"There really is something. It's a Teddy Bear doll. Still made of cotton and fabric, but alive and well. Proficient in every vice: eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, and even smoking weed!"

As soon as Dante said that, he and Amanadiel instinctively looked at Lucifer.

After all, the former Archangel and current King of Hell was also proficient in every vice: eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, and smoking.

Looked at that way, it wasn't that strange.

"I can confirm, it's definitely the Teddy Bear you mentioned."

"Father always liked doing this, giving life to inanimate objects."

"Moreover, this Teddy Bear wasn't created on a whim. Otherwise, he wouldn't possess one-hundred-millionth of the All Father's true spirit."

Amanadiel's tone was resolute.

Hearing that, Dante suddenly grew suspicious about Teddy's motives for entering the FBI Academy.

Was he really just brought there by a random delivery truck?

"Amanadiel, I put a tracker on that little bastard. Can you come with me to check it out?"

"Sorry, Dante. I cannot, nor do I wish to interfere with Father's decisions." Amanadiel shook his head. "Besides, Linda and I need to head back and pack before going to Washington, remember?"

Dante nodded. Understandable.

Compared to him, they'd obviously trust their Father more.

But there was someone present who didn't exactly get along with his Father.

"Dante! I'll go with you! I must see what kind of twisted schemes Father is up to!" Lucifer grabbed Dante's hand. "I can't wait to expose the old man's true face!"

Chloe frowned, but she knew Lucifer's hang-up about the All Father, so she didn't try to stop him. She just said to Dante, "Officer, I'll come too. Someone needs to keep an eye on Lucifer and make sure he doesn't go off the rails."

Dante nodded and opened a portal to the FBI Academy.

Chloe's expression instantly froze.

"What's wrong, Agent? So shocked by this little trick that you're speechless?" Lucifer said, dragging her hand as he stepped through the portal.

Dante followed right after.

In an instant, the portal vanished into the void.

...

Kansas.

After John picked up Teddy, he drove straight onto the highway, heading full throttle toward the farm his grandparents had left him.

The farm was in Smallville.

John's old '76 Chevrolet suddenly displayed terrifying performance completely unlike its worn-down look.

It exceeded F1 race car speeds without a single hiccup.

John even took his hands off the steering wheel occasionally to snatch chicken nuggets from Teddy's paw, but the car still maintained its blazing speed.

Maintaining that speed, the old Chevy roared straight into the farm, plowing into the large barn.

Except for a sliver of sunlight seeping in through the entrance, the interior was swallowed by darkness.

John and Teddy got out of the car and shouted into the blackness.

"Guys, we got it!"

The moment he spoke, several pairs of bright mechanical eyes lit up in the dark.

Massive Transformers stepped forward.

And the old Chevrolet that had carried them at top speed began to transform, turning into a slightly smaller Transformer.

If Dante were there, he would've shouted,

"Damn Bumblebee!"

"Ratchet, Hound, Drift, Crosshairs, how's Optimus Prime's condition?"

Ratchet shook his head, his steel brows furrowing in a strangely human way. "His condition is bad. This time, Galvatron and the U.S. Military joined forces. The pursuit even damaged Optimus Prime's Spark."

At that, all the Transformers showed expressions of grief.

"Didn't Teddy and I go find a solution for you?" John tried to cheer them up. "You said that to repair Optimus Prime's Spark, you'd either need another Spark to merge with his, or an energy source just as powerful to mend it!"

As he spoke, John extended his hand to Teddy.

Teddy's two comical eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey, buddy, what's the rush? You know how much it hurts to shove this thing into my body?"

"Damn, I really look like some little freak who'd shove anything inside himself for money or weed!"

Teddy's complaints were still filled with 18+ commentary, but his movements didn't hesitate at all.

He reached into his empty crotch.

After fumbling around...

He pulled out a cylindrical object from his cotton stuffing.

Its scientific name: Palladium Arc Reactor.

And its Master, everyone knew too well...

Tony Stark.

(To be continued.)

Chapter 201: It’s All Up to Me!

"Just this little thing? Are you sure it can save Optimus Prime?"

"Where did you bumpkins crawl out from?" Teddy scoffed at the crosshair that raised the question. "Are your heads full of 'big is good, big is beautiful, big is awesome'? Wake up! It's the 21st century, not World War II!"

All the Transformers present felt awkward. On Cybertron, that really had been their aesthetic.

After all, even for the Transformers themselves, size represented absolute power.

For instance, everyone here was smaller than Optimus Prime, and their combat power couldn't compare to Optimus or Galvatron.

Including Bumblebee.

Although he had excellent combat talent, his absolute strength wasn't high.

"Though, to be fair, Transformers do define base strength by size." John leaned down and whispered into Teddy's ear. "Just like no matter how advanced the tech is, we both still prefer the one that looks bigger at first glance, right?"

"…You saying that right next to my ear is really creepy." Teddy rolled his eyes. "Although, I have to admit, you're right."

Actually, Teddy understood the Transformers' doubts.

But what really annoyed him was that the Palladium Arc Reactor in his hand was something he'd risked his life to get.

When Optimus Prime needed an object with immense energy for healing, Teddy's first thought was to steal electricity from a local power plant.

But he didn't expect that electricity couldn't be used to repair a Spark.

Just when he was out of ideas, Teddy got a piece of news from the black market.

Tony Stark had declared the Palladium Arc Reactor fatally toxic to the human body and replaced it.

He'd successfully created a Tesseract isotope based on Howard Stark's designs.

That ultimate clean energy source was indeed incomparable to radioactive substances like palladium.

But Teddy saw this as an opportunity.

Sure, palladium contained radioactive material and was harmful to humans.

But for Transformers?

That was nonsense.

When did silicon-based lifeforms ever care about a little radiation?

Since the side effects didn't apply, the Palladium Arc Reactor was absolutely the best choice.

Something capable of powering a mecha-type superhero should have no problem repairing a Spark, right?

After sharing the idea with John, the two started scheming to get it.

At first, they planned to go straight to Stark Industries to steal it.

But soon discovered that they couldn't even get past the elevator, let alone reach the Arc Reactor.

At their wits' end, they overheard a man named "Happy" talking on the phone with the FBI Academy in a café near Stark Industries.

The call was about sending Iron Man's original Palladium Arc Reactor to the FBI Academy for collection and internal display.

That became their new target.

The FBI Academy.

They easily sneaked into the produce supply base that delivered goods to the FBI Academy.

But a man and a talking Teddy Bear together were way too conspicuous. So they decided that Teddy would go inside alone.

John would handle the pickup.

And so, Teddy successfully infiltrated the FBI Academy.

It sounds simple, but it all depended on exploiting the blind spots of the Academy's security system.

After all, if people saw a Teddy Bear on the sidewalk, they'd just assume someone dropped it, not that it was there to steal an Arc Reactor.

It took a lot of effort for Teddy to enter the internal exhibition hall, which wasn't even open to the public yet.

The area was filled with surveillance systems, the kind that would immediately alert the X-Men once they detected a living organism.

But…

Teddy had no life signs.

He was a Teddy Bear made of cloth and cotton.

So the hardest part was just walking.

Walk in, stuff the Arc Reactor into his belly from underneath, then walk out.

Unfortunately, when he tried to get back to the produce truck, he was discovered by Wolverine and cornered in the warehouse.

Teddy had to improvise, lighting up the half-smoked joint he'd been carrying.

That led to the scene where Wolverine and Dante caught him in the FBI Academy's warehouse.

In truth, Teddy had been scared half to death by Wolverine and Dante back then.

But he relied on his natural gift for deception and managed to get picked up by John safely.

Then the two of them raced straight back to John's grandparents' farm.

"Motherf***er, you silicon-based freaks from space, it's all thanks to me, a Teddy Bear, carrying you this far!"

"Even if it's just for the trouble I went through, you all have to at least try it!" Teddy said, tossing the Palladium Arc Reactor toward Ratchet.

It hit the ground.

Everyone froze.

"No, seriously, can't you just reach out and catch it? Do you expect me, a Teddy Bear, to perfectly throw it into the hands of a six or seven-meter-tall robot?"

"We didn't expect you to just throw it!" Even Ratchet, usually serious, almost lost composure. "I mean, I could've just bent down and picked it up."

"…Damn, you're right." Teddy shook his plush head. "I guess I've flown too much today, my mind's getting fuzzy."

Ratchet didn't say anything else. He picked up the Palladium Arc Reactor and walked deeper into the barn.

In the darkness, the Autobot leader Optimus Prime lay there with his eyes closed.

"Can we really survive this ordeal?"

Ratchet sighed.

Their situation was grim.

They were being hunted not only by the Decepticons but also by the Government, which had once secretly cooperated with them.

That "cooperation" had shifted into capture and control. The government now wanted to transform both Autobots and Decepticons into their personal War Machines.

"Survive what? The barn echoes so much that if you fart in there, I'd hear it like a nuclear explosion... Wait, do you Transformers even fart?"

Teddy said, waving at Bumblebee.

"Bee, come here, help me destroy this thing. After all, you don't want the FBI tracking your location, do you? Who knows if they're working with the Government."

He handed over the chipped collar around his neck.

Bumblebee didn't hesitate, connecting his internal system to the chip and overloading it until it was fried.

Just as everyone began waiting quietly to see if the treatment would succeed, a voice suddenly came from outside the barn.

"John? Teddy? Is that you two back?"

(To be continued.)

Chapter 202: That Damn Bear Is in Smallville?!

The sudden voice of a middle-aged woman outside the barn startled all the Transformers.

They instantly transformed back into their vehicle forms.

John pressed a hand to his chest, took a few deep breaths, and then walked toward the barn door with Teddy beside him.

Peeking out, they saw a middle-aged couple in their fifties standing outside.

"It really is you two. Jonathan was worried you weren't home and thought someone might've broken into your barn, so we came to check," the woman said, patting her husband's arm playfully.

"After all, John's the only heir of the Eagle family. As neighbors, it's only right we look out for him." Jonathan patted John's shoulder. "We country folks are different from those city people. Around here, neighbors are like family."

"Thank you, Jonathan, Martha." John smiled and nodded. "When I wasn't home before, it was thanks to you two for looking after the farm."

"It was nothing," Jonathan said, slinging an arm over John's shoulder. "You talk like the farm was in good shape when you and Teddy were here."

"Hey! Jonathan! It's one thing to insult John, but why drag me into it?" Teddy jumped up, waving his short arms angrily. "With arms and legs this short, how am I supposed to operate a combine harvester?"

"Hahaha! Whose fault is that?" Jonathan laughed, catching the jumping bear and hugging him tightly. "You've been this small since you were a kid!"

"Do you hear yourself? Are those human words? I'm a Teddy Bear! Made of cloth and cotton!"

"You weren't made of cloth when you were eating and smoking weed!"

Jonathan finally let go, and the group shared a few more minutes of warm small talk.

"But from now on, you and Martha won't have to worry about strangers hanging around here." John shrugged with a wry smile. "Teddy and I decided to move back. The city just isn't for us."

"Yeah, I can't even smoke weed in peace in the city," Teddy added quickly. "There's always some punk trying to sell me stronger stuff. Damn it, I just want a puff, not a full-on drug deal."

Jonathan and Martha exchanged surprised looks.

"Are you serious?"

"It's true. We already canceled our rental," John said, spreading his hands. "Man, what can I say?"

"It's good to have you back, really good."

Martha's eyes reddened a little.

To her, John and Teddy were like family. John's parents had gone missing when he was young, and his grandparents had passed away early.

He'd basically grown up under the Kents' care. Before heading off to college, John had spent his childhood on the Kent family farm.

"Alright, enough crying in front of the kid," Jonathan said, comforting Martha. Then he turned to John. "Since you're back, don't forget to come over for dinner tomorrow night. Clark's bringing his girlfriend home."

"Clark got a girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Heard she's a colleague from the Daily Planet."

"Alright then, I'll bring Teddy over."

Jonathan smiled, patting their shoulders in approval before leaving with his wife.

After watching them go, John and Teddy both wiped the sweat off their foreheads.

"Good thing we kept the barn door closed," Teddy said, pointing behind them. "If Martha had seen what's inside, she'd have had a heart attack—even if she didn't already have one."

"Alright, go inside and tell them the alarm's been lifted."

"What about you?"

"Nonsense! I'm going to buy some gifts," John said, walking toward the road with his hands in his pockets. "Clark's our Iron Fist, remember? This is the first time he's bringing a girlfriend home. We can't show up empty-handed and embarrass him."

"Then wait for Bumblebee! This is Smallville, not New York or Washington! You're not walking there on foot!"

...

FBI Academy, Communications Department.

Dante walked straight in with Lucifer and Chloe.

This used to be the weakest department in the Academy, but after absorbing Rising Tide's core members and recruiting elite communication experts, it had become one of the central intelligence links in the entire U.S. Bureau network.

The Agent in charge of the department immediately stepped forward when she saw Dante.

"Officer! FBI Level 4 Agent Felicity Smoak, codename 'Shadow,' reporting!"

"Felicity? I remember—you joined the Bureau through external recruitment, right?"

"Yes. I was originally Head of Cybersecurity at Queen Consolidated."

Dante nodded.

Half of the Bureau's external hires came from major corporations. After all, big companies produced talent far more reliably than random applicants.

Felicity here was proof.

She'd earned her position as head of Communications purely through ability—she'd even defeated Skye in a hacker duel.

"But speaking of which," Dante said, smirking, "you and Oliver… you're dating, right?"

"Uh, yes," Felicity said quickly. "But I can assure you, our relationship won't affect our work."

"I'm not saying that." Dante chuckled. "I'm just saying, if you plan to get married, don't forget to submit the joint report. The Bureau gives a whole month of paid marriage leave."

He teased lightly, then switched gears.

"Not long ago, I asked the Communications Department to put a chip collar on that Teddy Bear. You know about that, right?"

"Of course. And that's what I wanted to report to you." Felicity's expression turned uneasy. "The tracking chip on that Teddy Bear overloaded and self-destructed."

"Oh? That bear's got some nerve?"

Dante's eyes widened.

Good grief, has this punk never been hit by the Iron Fist of law enforcement?

At that moment, Lucifer, ever relaxed, walked over from the lounge holding two cups of coffee.

He knew Chloe wouldn't drink any, so he handed one to Dante.

Dante didn't think much of it and took a sip.

Just then, Felicity added, "But before the overload, the last transmitted data showed their location. Kansas. A small town called Smallville."

"Pfft!"

"Cough! Cough! What? Where did that stupid bear show up?"

The moment Dante heard the name, he spat out his coffee.

"Lucifer… I swear, I want to stab you twice with the All Father's Sword of Judgment right now."

Lucifer wiped the coffee off his face and sighed.

(To be continued.)