FBI: Chapter 196/197

Chapter 196: Unknown 084 Item?

Facing Ion Shark's accusation, Dante naturally chose to suppress it with force!

How dare a little shark try to tattle?

So, Ion Shark, with an incredibly human-like grumpy face, was forcibly stuffed back into the green lantern power battery by Dante.

Hela didn't bother with how this Lantern Corps and Lantern Beast duo, whose relationship was no different from father and son, clowned around, but instead said to Dante:

"Oh, right, Agent Hunnigan just contacted me. An unknown 084 item has intruded into the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy."

"Fury thinks you should go."

"So… get to work, my God Queen."

Dante pouted, gently wrapped his arm around Hela's slender yet strong waist, and buried his head deep in the quiet depths of her mountainous peaks.

He really didn't do it on purpose, it's just that his height only reached there…

Seriously not on purpose!

"Tsk, compared to working diligently, I'd rather freeload a bit more…"

"My stomach hasn't been too good lately."

But before he could continue with his lazy banter, Dante immediately felt a precise and sharp blow to his precious area.

Dante turned his head, it was Ada.

"Don't cling to Hela. When it's time to work, work properly!"

"…You're getting stricter and stricter, Ada." Dante was a little dejected. Ever since Ada succeeded, she cherished him less and less. "Before you succeeded, you were skilled in everything from music, chess, calligraphy and painting to guiding outfits. How come after you succeeded, you're all nagging housekeeper-like…"

"Hurry up." Ada rolled her eyes, pushing Dante forward. "And you dare to use the word 'housekeeper' to describe me? You're getting bold, aren't you?"

Dante couldn't help but burst into tears upon hearing Ada's words.

It was too heartbreaking.

Was this the pathetic life of married men?

If it weren't for the faint purple glow still shining on Ada's body, Dante would have thought they had already entered the period of weariness!

Dante suddenly realized that the most gentle to him was actually the domineering Hela.

Ada and Harley both had a bit of a tigress vibe.

"Not speaking? Are you thinking something very offensive in your heart?"

"No, no, no!"

"Hmph!" Ada snorted, then poked her hand into Dante's pocket and turned to leave.

Dante chuckled, then casually pulled open a portal and stepped inside.

When the portal closed, two glistening tears fell down.

Too brutal!

…

Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy.

Peter Parker was using his webs to travel, preparing to join the excitement.

He heard that someone at the Academy had captured an unknown 084 item!

But suddenly, a portal appeared out of nowhere, and Dante just happened to step out of it.

If the distance had been ten centimeters further, Peter would have been able to dodge.

But as it was, his Spider-Sense was practically smoking.

It was a car accident scene.

Dante turned his head and looked at Peter, who was lying on the ground rubbing his head.

"Peter Parker, do you have a problem with me?"

"I was wondering why my heart was thumping, turns out you were aiming here the whole time!"

Peter, upon hearing this, sprang to his feet with a carp jump.

"Agent Dante, I was just traveling. Who knew your portal's landing spot would be so precise!" Peter couldn't help but complain, but then he paused as he looked up. "Agent Dante… why are you crying?"

"Oh, that? That's just my acting skills exploding, I got into character."

Dante said, wiping away the half-real, half-fake tears from his eyes.

Then he casually glanced at what Ada had just slipped into his pants pocket…

A room key card.

Hilton Hotel, room number 1610.

It was all just for fun, just a bit of playful romance.

Dante put away the room card, he couldn't let the students see this.

"Peter, I heard the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy found a 084 item?"

"Yeah! I'm just going to watch the excitement! The Agent who's going to contain the 084 item is coming soon, if I don't go now, I'll miss it. Otherwise, why would I be using webs to travel within the Academy… Wait? The Agent coming to contain the 084 item wouldn't happen to be you, would it?"

"Bingo, you guessed right!" Dante ruffled Peter's head. "What's with your hairstyle? Did you use too much hairspray?"

"I don't really know, but Jessica Jones said that styling my hair like this makes me look more energetic…"

"Hmm, it's really damn energetic."

"Really, Agent Dante?"

"Absolutely energetic." Dante gave a thumbs up in praise. "As energetic as your teacher, Harley."

"Ah…"

Before Peter could complain, Dante threw an arm around his shoulder and started walking forward.

"I don't know the exact location, so you can lead the way for me."

…

Led by Peter, Dante quickly arrived at a storage warehouse.

Two familiar faces were currently blocking the door…

It was Wolverine and White Queen.

"You're here, Dante."

Wolverine nodded in greeting to Dante.

Meanwhile, White Queen's eyes lit up, her gaze seductive.

"Dante, you haven't come to play with older sister in a long time."

"Emma, let's be clear, what do you mean 'a long time'!? I've never come looking for you!"

"Isn't this just trying to get closer to you?" White Queen Emma said, her gaze shifting behind Dante. "Little Parker? Is that you?"

Dante's mouth twitched.

Sure enough, this woman's real target was Peter from the start.

[Redacted due to policy]

"Yeah, it's Peter Parker. He said he had some things he wanted to talk about with Teacher Emma."

After speaking, he pushed Peter out.

"Agent Dante! You're selling me out! You're selling me out!"

Peter screamed as he was pulled away by White Queen.

Dante watched Peter being led away, and Wolverine interjected from the side:

"Don't worry, even though Emma seems like a starved pervert, at most she'll just grope him a bit to satisfy herself. She still has basic morals, and…"

"And?"

"If she touches another student, her salary for the next ten years will also be confiscated."

"…How many people has she touched, exactly!?"

"Don't dig too deep, otherwise you'll find nothing but trouble." Wolverine shrugged. "But she'll probably have a hard time getting Peter, after all, Jessica Jones has been keeping a close watch on her…"

Saying that, he pushed open the door to the storage warehouse.

"Let's get down to business."

"That so-called 084 item is in this warehouse?"

"That's right, the cafeteria aunt found it." Wolverine nodded. "And… it's a living thing."

Suddenly, a rustling sound came from deep within the storage warehouse.

Dante and Wolverine followed the sound.

The sound was coming from under a waterproof plastic sheet.

Dante and Wolverine exchanged glances, each grabbing a side, then suddenly pulled it open.

"Fuck! Are you guys crazy!"

"I just wanted to find a place to have a good puff!"

"Is that illegal too?"

Dante lowered his head and saw a teddy bear holding a hookah pipe on top of a pile of potatoes.

(To be continued.)

Chapter 197: Five-Poison Teddy Bear

"What? You said this is the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy?"

"That boss, whose brain was kicked by a donkey, didn't mention it, did he?"

"As FBI Agents, you wouldn't make things difficult for a talking teddy bear, would you?"

"Of course, if you want to try the good stuff I have, that's not impossible…"

Dante watched the blabbering teddy bear in front of him, his mouth twitching.

Is the world really so vast and full of wonders?

Why did they have to bring in this vulgar teddy bear?

"Alright, you little gadget with a brain full of yellow waste, stop flapping your gums and quickly tell us how you snuck in!"

Although Wolverine was always joking around with acquaintances, acting like a middle-aged drunkard without any decorum.

But when he got serious, he was quite scary.

A face full of muscle and a pair of claws were definitely the standard for a tough guy.

"Woah, woah, woah! Keep those claws away from me! I'm a living toy bear! Living! Although if I accidentally get my outer skin cut, it can be sewn back up!"

"Cut your outer skin? If you don't want to be torn to shreds by him, then hurry up and confess." Dante also lowered his head, his face grim. "Although I am a great benevolent person who never harms others, I sometimes choose to be selectively blind."

"At that time, what this gentleman with steel claws will do to you, I can't guarantee."

After saying that, he prepared to turn around.

Teddy bear was inherently a timid fellow, and he immediately cowered.

Fortunately, he was a toy bear, otherwise he would have already peed himself from fright.

"Alright! I'm an employee of the vegetable supplier! This time I secretly snuck into the car delivering supplies to the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy, thinking of secretly taking photos of some superpowered girls, but I got stuck in this supply warehouse and couldn't get out."

"So I thought, since I'm here, I'll make myself at home, and take a puff to calm down first."

Dante was amused by this utterly depraved toy bear.

Smoking weed to calm down, huh?

He reached out and grabbed the teddy bear, then walked out.

As he walked, the teddy bear squirmed in his hand.

"Damn it! Bro, don't press your hand on my tag! It tickles! Hahahaha!"

…

After taking the teddy bear to the reception room, Dante contacted his family using the phone number he provided.

Then he also learned how he transformed from a toy bear into a living toy bear.

According to him, it was one night thirty years ago when he suddenly gained life.

The reason was that his best friend made a wish to God in his sleep!

Then he came to life!

"Although I don't understand the principle behind it, I am indeed a living creature." Teddy took a deep drag from the hookah pipe. "The most amazing thing is, a while ago I was chased by a perverted father and son who were obsessed with plush toys, and they tore me in half, and then I briefly died for a night…"

"That night, my best friend's girlfriend made another wish, hoping I would come back to life."

"And then I came back to life again."

"Pay tribute to Teddy, the legendary King of Endurance! Roar, roar, roar!"

Dante rubbed his temples.

Damn, this toy bear was high.

Getting high in the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy was unprecedented and would never be replicated.

Most importantly…

Dante really didn't know how to condemn a toy bear!

What's wrong with a toy bear smoking weed?

His entire body was filled with cotton. No damage at all!

And he didn't even emit any second-hand smoke, it was all in that pipe.

However, the information he revealed still had some value.

A wish, and then he came to life.

If it were in the original movie, it might just be an abstract, absurd deus ex machina.

But in this mixed universe, it's very likely that it genuinely involves some mysterious supernatural power.

However, judging from the state of Teddy and his best friend, it's probably just an accidental touch of this power.

Although Dante had no interest in a teddy bear, he needed to understand its origins.

Granting life to an inanimate object without changing its essence, this kind of power…

It was somewhat outrageous.

At this moment, Dante's personal terminal lit up.

A call from the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy's main gate guard.

"Agent Dante, an old Chevrolet has arrived outside the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy. They said they received a notification from the Federal Bureau of Investigation to pick up Teddy."

"Yes, I had them notified. After inspection, let them through. Tell him I'm waiting in the reception room."

"Received."

After saying that, the call was disconnected.

About ten minutes later, a good-looking but inexplicably somewhat timid middle-aged man appeared outside the reception room door.

As soon as he saw Teddy, he excitedly reached out to push the door, wanting to come in…

Then he pushed, but it didn't open, and his face slammed into the glass.

Dante knew that he shouldn't have too many illusions about characters from comedy movies.

He could only walk over and open the door while the middle-aged man outside was rubbing his nose and crying out in pain.

"This door opens by pulling it outwards."

"…Bro, there's no sign here. How was I supposed to know I had to pull it open?"

What he said was quite true.

But even a normal person, if they got the opening method wrong, wouldn't make a mistake that almost shattered their nose.

"You are John?"

"Yes, that's me." The timid middle-aged man shook hands with Dante somewhat awkwardly. "I'm really sorry, this guy's head is always a bit unclear, and he's caused you trouble. If there's nothing else, I'll take him away."

"Hmm, nothing major, but given that he entered the Federal Bureau of Investigation's non-public facility without permission, he needs to have an electronic chip implanted for us to monitor his movements."

"What~? Isn't that an electronic ankle monitor? Is secretly taking photos of superpowered girls such a big crime?"

"You don't have to wear it." Dante nodded. "But accordingly, I will inform the entire Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy of all your information. What those 'superpowered girls' you mentioned will do to you then will be none of my business. Our Federal Bureau of Investigation, to some extent, does not need to comply with America's laws."

"Cough, cough, Agent Dante, I was wrong." Teddy's fur stood on end, frightened by Dante's words. "Alright, put that damn electronic ankle monitor on me!"

Dante waved his hand, and the internal Agent waiting outside immediately walked in with a collar.

"Don't worry, our electronic chip won't look like an ankle monitor on the outside."

"See this style? Doesn't it fit your teddy bear characteristics quite well?"

Teddy took the collar and resignedly put it around his short, thick neck.

Although his actions were obedient, his mouth couldn't help but complain:

"F*ck, I look like a plush toy stolen from a neighbor's little girl's bedroom by some old pervert with a weird fetish!"

(To be continued.)