SCIAW: Chapter 179/180

Chapter 179: This Is What Amamiya Thinks

Ren found himself recalling the day, a year ago, when he first laid eyes on the diary. The moment he saw it, his mind went blank. He had already been lucky enough to be reborn—how could fate favor him a second time?

"At that moment, my mind was completely blank. I couldn't understand how someone as ordinary as me could be granted such luck again."

"So… I didn't use it at first."

"I only had the mindset of a commoner. I didn't believe in benefits falling from the sky."

"It took me a year to come to terms with it. At that time, I was transitioning from middle school to high school."

"There was no decent high school in the small village where I lived, so I moved to a bigger city nearby—Beika City, under Tokyo."

"A city where murders happen constantly. Because of that, I'd heard that rent was surprisingly cheap in certain areas."

"It was only after moving to Beika City and finding my current place that I realized I had been accepted into high school. That school… was Teitan High School."

"And that's when I understood—I had been reborn into an unbelievable world."

"At that moment, I started wondering if this world might have other crossovers as well."

"So I searched the internet… and found a lot of things."

"Names that should have only existed in fiction were real."

"When I confirmed the existence of the Sanzenin family, I knew this world wasn't simple. That's when I finally turned my attention to the diary I had been carrying for a year."

The world of the God of Death was terrifying. If you had no abilities, you could get caught up in something dangerous at any moment. But as it turned out, the trouble that came with the Sanzenin name was even worse.

So, if he wanted to survive, he had to make a choice.

"...So it wasn't about avoiding Mouri's case files after all."

Kaguya recalled how the diary had mentioned wanting to steer clear of the chaos surrounding Kudo. But now, she realized the real reason had been Sanzenin.

"No matter how much chaos Kudo brings, there's a limit to his involvement."

"But the mess surrounding the debt-ridden butler is on another level entirely."

"Even if it's a future event, even if it's only a possibility…"

"It's better to gain a certain level of strength in advance, just in case."

"That was the first time I seriously considered using the diary."

Ren admitted that his anxiety had been what ultimately swayed him. He never believed everything would naturally work out for the best.

Sometimes, controlling power meant controlling your own fate.

Of course… it also meant the diary might control his fate.

But in the end, it was still a choice.

A choice between being controlled by the diary… or being controlled by so-called "fate."

In the end, he chose the diary.

"He decided to use the diary without knowing if it had any risks."

"He boldly and recklessly revealed himself, pushing the diary to its limits."

"I've read similar stories in my past life—I know that revealing too much information can be dangerous."

"But I also knew that if I didn't reveal enough, I might not gain anything at all."

"And you already know what happened after that."

Ren paused here.

"Looking back on my life, I don't think there's anything particularly special about me… except for the diary."

"My evaluation of myself has always been the same: ordinary, unremarkable, quiet, and lucky."

"Otherwise…"

It was difficult for him to put himself into words. He had already summed himself up as best as he could.

Then, he suddenly remembered something Sonoko had once said about him.

"...Maybe in this life, my face is at least decent?"

"I don't really know if there's anything else worth mentioning about me."

Hearing this, Kaguya finally understood why Ren was telling her all this.

So that's how it was.

So, back then, when he talked about the interweaving of fate…

At the time, she had assumed he was talking about them. But now, she realized he had been referring to the diary.

The so-called interweaving of fate wasn't about them staying together for a long time or developing some kind of special relationship.

It was about the diary.

At that moment, she had misunderstood Ren's meaning.

Now, she understood.

This was his view of himself.

From the very beginning, he had never thought about forming that kind of connection with them.

However… there was one exception.

"Then, what about Miss Suzuki?"

"Sonoko? Well, Sonoko is an exception."

"Why is Miss Suzuki an exception?"

"Sonoko approached me before she knew about the supernatural. At the very least, I believe she didn't start a relationship with me because of the diary."

"But… she did pursue you."

"Yes, she did."

Kaguya looked into Ren's eyes. She didn't argue—but she also didn't say anything else.

That silence made it clear.

Ren was certain that Sonoko's interest in him wasn't because of the supernatural.

So… she was an exception.

The difference in interests between herself, Nagi, and Ren was too great.

And Nagi was still too young—if anything, her feelings would probably be dismissed as childish affection.

So, in the end… was she only interested because of the mystery?

Was that how Ren saw it?

So, from the very beginning, his judgment had been made.

Kaguya took a deep breath.

"I won't deny it."

"When I first saw what was written in the diary, I was curious."

"But after what happened at Tropical Paradise that afternoon… I started thinking about how I could use the diary to gain more."

Ren gave a slight nod.

That was the Shinomiya Kaguya he knew.

"But, Amamiya-san… don't you think you're underestimating yourself?"

That caught Ren off guard.

"Underestimating myself…?"

Seeing how completely clueless he looked, Kaguya felt her energy drain away.

This man had no self-awareness.

"The diary is the diary. And you are you."

"Yes, I was originally interested in the diary."

"But that doesn't mean I wasn't also interested in you."

"...Huh?"

For the first time, Ren was completely stunned by Kaguya's words.

(To be continued.)

Chapter 180: The "Rights" of a Diary

"Like you said, maybe the diary was what first connected us… but after that, it was fate."

"Even I understand that human relationships aren't only built on interests."

Kaguya had the right to say this.

"Just like with Hayasaka."

"No matter what, she did betray me. But it wasn't because she wanted to—it was because of her identity and family circumstances."

"By nature, betrayal is something I cannot forgive."

Betrayal was her bottom line.

After being betrayed once by someone she had considered a friend, she never wanted to experience that feeling again.

That had always been Kaguya's standard.

But now—

"But I forgave Hayasaka."

She said it plainly.

"It wasn't out of kindness. It's just that my bottom line isn't the same when it comes to Hayasaka—I gave her an exception."

"It wasn't about any personal gain. It was because we had known each other for so long, and my bond with her had formed early on."

"Amamiya, by your logic, my fate with her had already been intertwined long before this."

Then, Kaguya turned to face Ren directly.

"Amamiya, you and I were first connected through the diary—and through shared interests."

"But to me, Shinomiya Kaguya, you are the exception."

Memories of being raised like a canary in the gilded cage that was the Shinomiya family surfaced in her mind.

But that cage had been shattered by ice.

For the first time, the canary inside had a chance to escape.

"The diary gave me more than just power—it gave me an opportunity."

"The Shinomiya family has always been a cage pressing down on me. As long as it exists, I will never be free."

"Even my own life has been nothing more than a pawn in their plans—a tool for a political marriage."

"Of course, I understand that this is the price I have to pay for being born into this family."

Kaguya wasn't blind to reality.

Nor was she someone who avoided responsibility.

"But if I had the chance to take control of my own fate… that would be ideal."

"Yet, on my own, I could never achieve that."

It was an undeniable fact.

A caged bird could not break its own prison.

"The diary is what gave me the hope of escaping my 'normal' life."

"So naturally, I wanted more."

She did not deny her ambition.

"But I haven't forgotten who brought me the diary in the first place."

Hearing this, Ren blinked.

"...Me?"

Kaguya looked at him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Of course you."

"Who else could it be?"

"Amamiya, you are the owner of the diary."

"Only you could have brought it to us. Even if the distribution wasn't intentional on your part, we only have access to it because you write in it."

The ability to read the diary was given by him.

"Besides, Amamiya—don't forget one thing."

"The only reason we have what we do now… is because of you."

"...Me?"

Ren pointed at himself in disbelief.

Kaguya nodded, her expression calm as she explained.

"Everything started after you mentioned the lottery function."

"Before that, there was no lottery. Even after we read the first diary entry, the diary never told us about it."

"In other words, the diary never intended to give us anything in the first place."

"It was only because you mentioned it in the diary that the diary responded to us."

Others may not have noticed this, but Kaguya certainly did.

"That's when I realized it."

"I was only able to escape the Shinomiya family's cage because you gave me the chance to."

"If, at that time, you had chosen to keep it a secret, then the diary would have only shown us glimpses of the future—it never would have granted us power."

Kaguya's words completely stunned Ren.

He hadn't known.

He really hadn't realized this.

"...I did that?"

Unconsciously, Ren ran a hand over his face. He had thought about the diary's reward mechanism before…

But he never considered that the only reason it granted them powers was because he had triggered it.

"I believe this right belongs only to Amamiya-san."

"It was your unintentional actions that caused the diary to follow your commands."

"This right… was given to us only because you, the writer, allowed it."

Kaguya had never believed they had any real authority over the diary.

The gains they had received were too disproportionate to what they had contributed.

There was no such thing as a benefit granted for no reason.

So, she came to a simple conclusion.

Ren had accidentally shared his authority.

That was how they had met.

"Perhaps… you could even take that right back now."

That statement pulled Ren out of his daze.

He chuckled.

"Maybe this is just another twist of fate."

"Without realizing it, I created an 'interweaving of fate.'"

"Even my unconscious actions have drawn us together."

"Just like…"

Yes, just like them.

The Tarot Club.

Ren pressed his lips together, keeping the rest of the thought to himself. Instead, he took out his diary.

"Seems like some things… can't be brushed off as coincidences."

"Did you think of something?"

"No. I don't know anything for sure yet."

"My intuition isn't giving me any clear signals. If anything, it's telling me that I don't need to know more right now."

Shaking his head slightly, Ren let out a small sigh.

He really had no way of knowing which events were orchestrated by fate.

"But one thing is certain."

"This diary does not intend to harm me."

Despite saying this, he still shook the diary in frustration.

"The only downside is that it never tells me the rules outright and forces me to figure everything out myself."

"Shinomiya-san, are you saying that because of all this… you believe I saved you from your cage?"

"Just because of that, you developed feelings for me?"

Shinomiya Kaguya had regained most of her composure, but when the topic shifted back to this, her expression wavered slightly.

"...'Like' is a strong word. I don't know if it's that kind of emotion."

"I just find myself paying more attention to you than usual."

"Whenever I see you interacting with other girls, I feel… uncomfortable."

Even someone as dense as Ren understood what that meant.

"...Isn't that just jealousy?"

(To be continued.)