The Blue Dragon: Chapter 4

-- CHAPTER 4: Euhemerism --

****

Rae was so happy and animated that it felt like she’d become a completely different person from the one I’d met only last night. She practically skipped out the front doors and down the steps of the Conservatory before hopping into our waiting Uber, holding my hand the whole way. Even inside the car, she wrapped herself around my arm and kept squeezing it, silently squeeing in delight every now and then.

Admittedly, I wondered if I was about to get laid. This obviously wasn’t the first time I’d had an excited young woman hugging herself around my arm, and nearly all such encounters had ultimately ended with me getting my dick wet. But once the Uber arrived back at our hotel, Rae hopped out her passenger door and skipped inside without giving me a single backwards glance.

She did wait for me by the elevators, and on the ride up she casually informed me that she had to take care of some things and that I should stay in my room. But she did add that our successful treasure hunt deserved a celebration, and that she’d come collect me at dinnertime.

I spent two hours looking over my current coding projects, wondering whether or not I should ever try to finish them. On the one hand, I wanted to believe I’d get back to my apartment and my regular routine someday after the whole people-trying-to-kill-me phase of my life was over and done with. On the other hand, it was really hard to focus on coding while knowing there were people out there right now who wanted to murder me over a two-thousand-year-old prophecy.

And really, did I want to die knowing that I’d wasted my final few hours of life doing grunt-work coding for uncaring multinational corporations?

I didn’t get much done, and in the end I found myself lying flat on the bed staring up at the ceiling, just trying to wrap my head around it all.

Rae came to fetch me around six, and when I opened the door, I jerked my head back in surprise. She must have done some shopping in the intervening hours, because the girl honestly looked like a million bucks.

Rae was only about 5’2”, but steep high-heels boosted her height by about four inches as she stood before me. She wore a slinky, dark-blue satin qipao minidress that hugged her svelte figure, with a super-short hemline that made her legs look extra-long. And she’d accessorized with dangling diamond earrings, sparkling bracelets, and a luxury clutch purse.

“Wow…” I stammered in surprise, my eyes wide in admiration as I instinctively put on a broad smile and followed her with a hungry gaze as she walked into the room and tossed a garment bag onto my bed. And after closing the door behind her, in a voice trained from years of practiced charm, I intoned suggestively, “How you doin’?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Rae stated coldly, holding up a hand palm-out in a clear ‘stop’ sign. “You’re not my type.”

I blinked twice. “I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah… uh-huh,” she drawled dismissively before pointing at the garment bag. “Put those on. We’re going someplace fancy.”

I walked back to the bed and opened the garment bag. There was a black suit inside, along with a dark-blue dress shirt that matched Rae’s dress and a bold red tie. “Oh. Thanks!” I said with a smile, somehow knowing they would fit perfectly. “Should I come over to your room once I’ve changed?”

“No need. I’ll stay right here.” Rae grinned as she took a seat on the desk chair and crossed one leg over the other.

I couldn’t help but eye the creamy skin of her legs as the short hem of her minidress pulled up, but then my attention was drawn to Rae’s wagging finger, scolding silently, Nuh-uh-uh.

I rolled my eyes and stripped down to my undershirt and boxers before donning the clothes she had brought me. Sure enough, it all fit perfectly.

Dinner was at a fancy downtown omakase sushi restaurant where patrons don’t order from a menu and instead the sushi chef decides what to serve throughout the meal. The word omakase itself translates to, I leave the details up to you.

The meal itself was excellent, and Rae remained in a happy mood, giggling and talking and generally turning out to be an excellent dining companion. She even flirted with me a little, which got Mr. Happy a little bit excited. But I hadn’t forgotten her ‘Don’t even think about it’ rebuff and tried not to read too much into it.

Plus, it felt a little weird to think about Rae as a potential bed-partner. She was very pretty with large eyes, great skin, and delicate features to go along with a trim, athletic body. But beyond my shallow appreciation for her figure, I hadn’t forgotten that I was currently embroiled in a life-or-death situation in which I was rather dependent on her for my very survival.

For the vast majority of my sexual conquests, I was unquestionably the one in control. With Rae, I felt very much out of control, always uncertain of what to do or what was coming next.

Still, I was rather accustomed to getting laid every day or close to it, so when we left the sushi restaurant and stopped by an upscale cocktail lounge, I of course immediately noticed the platinum blonde bombshell with big tits busting out of her pink V-neck in the corner booth with her two friends. The three of them had been making eye contact with the group of beefy gym bros at the bar, but as soon as I entered, I could tell that The Ax Effect had grabbed their attention.

Not that I intended to do anything about it. I was here with Rae, I knew we had a flight to catch in the morning, and there were more important things to focus on in my life.

Or so I thought.

Rae noted the platinum blonde checking me out, I tried to pretend I hadn’t noticed, and I’ve already told you the rest of this part of the story: Rae left, Kayleigh came back to my hotel room with me, and I spent all night banging the busty blonde’s brains out. On the flight to Seattle, Mary the flight attendant started flirting with me, Rae gave me crap about it, and I once again tried to play down The Ax Effect thing.

That’s when I realized that The Ax Effect didn’t work on Rae, not even to the level of mild fondness.

That’s when Rae told me that she wasn’t completely human.

Neither was I.

And now you’re caught up.

****

Of course, I had a million questions.

Of course, Rae wasn’t about to answer any of them on that flight with all the other people around, whether or not they were all wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Speaking of noise-cancelling headphones, Rae put on hers and then turned on an in-flight movie. And when it became clear that she fully intended to pointedly ignore me for the rest of the four-hour flight, I’d been left with nothing to do but pop in my cheap airline earbuds and see what was on the seatback entertainment menu.

-I- didn’t have any noise-cancelling headphones. Rae hadn’t been very specific about the things I should pack in the five minutes she’d given me after saying, “Come with me if you want to live.” Nobody had said a thing about bringing my noise-cancelling headphones.

But I still had a million questions.

And as soon as we were in private, I would be demanding answers.

In the meantime, I was still stuck on a four-hour flight with cheap airline earbuds and nothing better to do than watch in-flight entertainment. But even after scrolling through the library of available movies, TV shows, and video games on the plane, I couldn’t find anything of particular interest. Instead, I found myself looking back over everything that had happened since Rae and I had hurriedly left my apartment with nothing but one roll-aboard bag, but through a slightly different lens.

For example, it was obvious now that Rae had always known that there was something special about me. She’d played coy last night at the cocktail lounge, pretending to not know exactly why Kayleigh had been checking me out while practically handing me an excuse about evolutionary instinct to find a prime male. Perhaps she hadn’t been sure that I had The Ax Effect. Perhaps she’d deliberately removed herself from the scene while handing Kayleigh an excuse to come talk to me in order to sit back and observe what happened next. And I found myself wondering what other events she might have orchestrated since we’d first met.

Hell, I wondered what other events Rae might have orchestrated before we’d first met.

Clearly, Rae had known my name and had been watching me for some time. She had known my address and known to come bang down my door with a syringe of anti-venom immediately after the Mangshan pit viper had bitten me.

Wait, she hadn’t arrived immediately. I’d been looked after by the paramedic. I’d had time to go get a take-out clam chowder bread bowl. And I’d had time to both finish my meal and take a shower before she showed up. It was only after my symptoms worsened and those green and purple colors started spreading through my veins that she busted through the door. And that suggested that she’d somehow been observing me the whole time, waiting for the right moment to come.

Didn’t Rae tell me I had no idea how many times she’d been in front of the Zellij Fountain, wishing she could be the one to find the key? Finding it, finding the other relics, and ultimately finding her Golden Dragon, were clearly the most important things in her life. How far would she be willing to go to achieve those goals?

Who might she be willing to betray?

How much loyalty did she necessarily owe to a man she’d met less than forty-eight hours ago, “family allies” or not?

Rae had admitted quite plainly that she hadn’t saved my life for philanthropic reasons. Her quest was unachievable without my blood, and she couldn’t simply kill me and use my corpse to unlock all of the gates. She had no choice but to drag me along with her from Point A to Point B and all the way to Point Z. But after she finally got her Golden Dragon, what then?

What was in it for me? What would I get out of this whole ordeal?

My life? For all I knew, Rae herself had been the one to orchestrate the snake bite, hide in the shadows, and wait for the venom to take effect so that she could ride to the rescue and leave me feeling obligated to help her complete the quest. I didn’t want to believe that about her, but the fact was, I couldn’t know for sure.

Rae needed me: that much was certain. I’d gotten that blue crystal out of the Zellij Fountain, hadn’t I? Only I could unlock the gates to retrieve the relics.

But did I really need her?

She claimed to know the people who were after me. But what if it was all a hoax meant to trick me into remaining by her side? Of course, if I was wrong about it being a hoax and struck out on my own, I would most likely end up dead.

Not cool.

If there were people out to kill me, maybe I would be better off forgetting about this whole magic artifact business, changing my name, and going into hiding where nobody could find me. It had to be less risky than flying from city to city, chasing relics that the bad guys KNEW we needed, and therefore increasing the likelihood of them finding me.

Or maybe I really was the prophesized hero meant to rediscover the lost Faguang Long and unlock all of its magical powers.

Maybe the Golden Dragon was my destiny.

Maybe I was a complete idiot with oversized delusions of grandeur with cheap airline earbuds stretching my ear canals while not even listening to anything.

Clearly, Rae and I needed to talk.

I finally started playing a movie as a distraction rather than continue to talk myself in circles. The plane landed without incident at SeaTac airport just before noon local time. Rae still hadn’t brought any luggage except for her purse, and I wondered what she’d done with that fancy blue qipao she’d worn last night, not to mention all the expensive jewelry.

We caught an Uber, but this time didn’t go to a downtown hotel. Instead, Rae had the driver take us to a cozy cottage in a quiet residential area north of Lake Union. And after she retrieved the key from a recessed lockbox and let us inside, the first thing I asked was, “Is this one of your safe houses?”

Rae smirked at me and held up her phone, “Airbnb. I don’t do safe houses. A permanent safe house can eventually be located and then compromised. Hopping to different hotels, Airbnbs, etcetera and booking them last-minute makes it nearly impossible for anyone to predict where we might be.”

“Makes sense. But are we going to be here for a while? Personally, I only book vacation rentals when I’m going to be somewhere for like at least three nights with the cleaning fees and all. Otherwise, I just get a hotel.”

“If all goes to plan, we’ll only be here for one night,” Rae explained.

“Sounds expensive. Speaking of which, I’m grateful that you keep paying for everything, but where does all the money come from? I’m starting to get worried I’ll never be able to pay you back.”

“Don’t worry about it. Money is the least of our problems.”

“Because of the whole life-or-death thing? Why worry about financial debt if you might end up dead anyways?” I grimaced. “Personally, I’d like to believe I’ll get past this whole Golden Dragon thing one day. And when that happens, I’d like to not be flat broke.”

“Oh, you won’t be. You’re an heir to the Shu Han Empire, remember? You’ve the right to claim access to millions in inheritance. Billions, possibly.”

My jaw dropped open. “Did you just say ‘billions’? With a ‘b’?”

Rae smirked. “Don’t count it all just yet. Can’t spend anything if you end up dead.”

“Right… right…”

“But you haven’t been all pent-up with anxiety for the past several hours waiting to ask me about how I’m funding this little adventure, have you?” Rae drawled laconically while walking over to the living room sofa and daintily reclining on the armrest. She crossed one leg over the other, interlaced her fingers, and set her clasped hands down atop the upraised knee.

I stayed where I was, took a deep breath, and then stated seriously, “Exactly what did you mean when you said that you’re not completely human, and that neither am I?”

Rae nodded slowly, her expression that of one who had been expecting the question all along. Still, she paused for a moment to organize her thoughts and formulate her response. And when she finally spoke, her professorial English accent returned.

“Throughout human history, every culture of the world has written stories about mythological beings who possessed supernatural abilities they couldn’t rationally explain. The ancient Greeks and their demigods. Djinns and genies from the Middle East. Hindu asuras and rakshasas. East African shetani.” Rae winked at me, adding, “Superman, Wonder Woman, and the X-Men.”

I narrowed my eyes. “All fictional.”

“Mostly fictional,” Rae corrected. “While modern comic book superheroes are most definitely made up, many mythological accounts originate from real historical events.”

“Exaggerated retellings of historical events.”

“True enough,” Rae conceded, nodding slowly. “The scientific term is ‘Euhemerism’, named for the Greek mythographer Euhemerus from the late 4th century B.C.”

I raised my eyebrows but waited expectantly.

“It’s only natural for any story to get exaggerated in the retelling. A simple child’s game of Telephone is example enough. Much like compound interest on a Chinese Empire’s 3rd-century treasury over a LOT of time, exaggerations build on exaggerations and get altered or even rewritten in accordance with the personal biases of those doing the retelling, until there’s really no way to know which parts are real and which are made up. But that doesn’t mean the stories don’t originate from real events, like the original flood that led to Noah’s Ark.”

I frowned. “You expect me to believe Noah’s Ark was real? That the Hebrew God created a global flood that destroyed all life on Earth, save for a single family and a bunch of animals that boarded a guy’s massive ship in orderly groups, two-by-two, where they survived for forty days and forty nights until the water receded and the ark came to rest on Mount Ararat?”

Rae laughed. “No, of course not. But that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a great flood. The Book of Genesis was written sometime during the 5th or 6th century B.C. Modern scholars agree that the Noah’s Ark flood myth derived from the Mesopotamian poem, the Epic of Gilgamesh, which itself was a retelling of the Akkadian Atra-Hasis, which dates all the way back to the 18th century B.C. In Hindu mythology, Matsya, the fish avatar of the god Vishnu, warns the first man, Manu, of the impending flood and instructs him to build a giant boat. In Zoroastrian Mazdaism from modern-day Iran, the evil spirit Ahriman tries to destroy the world and one man survives the flood in an ark with his cattle. And even Greek philosopher Plato wrote of the Titan Prometheus advising his son Deucalion to build an ark in order to survive the great deluge, with the ark landing on a mountain after nine days.”

“And you’re saying all of those stories are derived from a singular real flood?”

“Not at all.” Rae smirked. “Floods would be common enough even today were it not for modern dams. And it’s telling that your skepticism of Noah’s Ark has nothing to do with the flood itself, but rather the precise truth of animals orderly boarding two-by-two. You already believe a great flood itself really happened, if perhaps not on such a grand scale as an Armageddon-like destruction of all life on Earth save for a single family. It’s only a matter of how much hyperbole you’re willing to believe.”

I waggled my head for a moment, digesting all of that. And in the end I shrugged and conceded, “More or less. But all this discussion of flood myths and Yoomeritism--”

“Euhemerism.”

“Whatever. You’ve totally dodged the question about you and me supposedly being ‘not completely human’.”

Rae nodded, extending a hand forward in concession to my point. She took a deep breath and then reclasped her hands together, refocusing herself.

“How much do you know about Chinese mythology?” she finally asked.

“Uh, not much.”

“Wuxing? The Five Phases?”

“Uh, no.”

“The Four Symbols of Cosmology? The Four Auspicious Beasts: the Blue Dragon of the East, the Black Tortoise of the North, the White Tiger of the West, and the Red Bird of the South?”

I gave her a blank look.

“Kunlun Mountain. The Jade Emperor. The Monkey King.”

“Oh, the Monkey King!” I interjected, pointing. “Played by Jackie Chan - or was it Jet Li? - with that white kid from Sky High.”

Rae’s scowl of deep disappointment made me shut up and drop my hand.

“Let’s keep this simple,” she grumbled with a sigh. “The Shu Han claimed divine ancestry thousands and thousands of years ago, which means they were descended from gods. The blood of those gods ran through their veins - and still runs through your veins - and with that blood comes supernatural powers.”

“Oh, so I’m a demigod like Percy Jackson.”

“Something like that.” Rae sighed again.

“And you’re a demigod too.”

“No, actually,” she contradicted. “I come from a family of huli jing: fox spirits.”

“Fox spirits like Ninetales?”

“Only the most powerful of fox spirits gain nine tails.”

“Oh, I meant Ninetales from Pokémon.”

Rae held her head as if a migraine were forming. “Pokémon? Seriously?”

I shut up again.

“Still,” she muttered wearily, “it goes to prove my point that a wide range of fictional stories are based on true historical figures and events that span many different cultures. Fox spirits are described as Korean gumiho, Japanese kitsune, Chinese huli jing, and… well… modern-day Pokémon.”

“The Pokémon Ninetales can spew fire. Can you do that?”

“No,” she stated flatly. “I’m not a Pokémon.”

“Sorry.”

“But I am a huli jing, and the Chinese aren’t the only ones with supernatural beings on Earth. Greek demigods are real, although I sincerely doubt one of them is named Percy Jackson. Arab djinns can perform magic, but they certainly aren’t limited to three wishes. And it was a group of powerful asuras who finally freed India from British colonial rule.”

I took a deep breath, trying to take that all in. Being and creatures with real magical powers still walking the Earth. I mimed my mind being blown and said, “Wow.”

Rae’s expression turned serious. “But know this: not all supernatural beings are good. I told you that the disciples of Cao Wei are powerful. For example, the viper that bit you is a yaoguai, sort of like a demon. The Cao Wei have sorcerers. They have goblins. And they have ghosts.”

“Ghosts?”

“Malevolent, undead spirits of those who were wronged in this world and will not move on until they have extracted their revenge.”

“Right. Ghosts.” I was starting to realize just how in over my head I really was. “Meanwhile, my only apparent superpower is an ability to make women like me and want to sleep with me.”

Rae waggled her head. “Better than being a man without any superpower at all.”

“I suppose.”

“Plus, you may have further untapped superpowers you simply haven’t discovered yet.”

“Really?”

She nodded seriously. “All your life, you’ve never needed any other superpowers but the one that would get you laid. Perhaps it is through facing adversity that your other abilities will come to the fore.”

“Um. Wow…” I briefly imagined the Ninetales ability to spew fire but then almost immediately scrunched up my face and tried to dismiss it. Speaking of Ninetales, I looked back at Rae and asked, “What are your superpowers?”

Rae smiled rather proudly. “Huli jing are primarily known as shapeshifters.”

“Shapeshifters?”

“Well, for example…” Rae winked at me, and in the blink of an eye she’d transformed her entire appearance to that of the way she’d looked the night of our fancy omakase dinner in Chicago: steep high-heels, dark-blue qipao, and all the expensive jewelry.

My jaw hit the floor in shock. Magic was definitely real.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed. No wonder she didn’t need to bring any luggage.

Moments later, a long, gleaming, steel sword literally grew out of Rae’s hand, finishing with an ornately detailed gold handle and a red ribbon trailing on the end. And she adopted a formal two-handed battle stance, ready to strike.

“Oh, damn.” I instinctively took a step back and even raised my hands in surrender.

Rae then changed her irises from black to a shade of bright blue that glowed with their own inner light, and she flashed me a toothy, smug smile. “I’ve a few other tricks up my sleeve, but I think I’ve made my point.”

“No kidding. That’s a helluva superpower, and one that would be supremely useful in a fight,” I said while gesturing at her sword. “Meanwhile, all I’ve got is The Ax Effect, which seems like it would only be useful if all of our attackers are women.”

“Well, I told you that only women have historically possessed the powers of wuxing. For centuries, we would be described as wupo or ‘witches’. Not all of those who fight for Cao Wei are female, but the most dangerous ones most likely would be.”

I made a face and waggled my head. “Think they would stop trying to kill me and want to have sex with me?”

“Probably not.” Rae frowned, let the sword disappear, and transformed back into her previous appearance. “For one thing, your so-called Ax Effect is more of an influencer, not true mind-control. At best, a woman ordered to kill you would still want to kill you, but she might hop in bed with you first and then kill you.”

“And I still end up dead.”

“Worse…” Rae sighed. “I told you that your Ax Effect doesn’t work on me at all because I’m not completely human. I’m huli jing. I expect your Ax Effect wouldn’t work on any supernatural beings.”

“And I still end up dead,” I repeated with a sigh.

“Well… Then again…” Rae folded her arms across her chest and looked thoughtful.

But when she didn’t immediately continue, I raised my eyebrows and asked, “Then again what?”

Rae spaced out a bit, looking thoughtful. “Well… you do seem to get stronger when you’re having sex. It’s like you’re… charging up the longer it goes. Like the way you always hold up a girl and walk arou--”

Her voice abruptly cut off, her eyes opened wide, and she clapped a hand over her mouth.

My eyebrows furrowed as I frowned. “Wait, what? How would you even know that?”

Her blush deepened and she raised both hands, gesturing with them for me to remain calm. And in a placating tone, she said softly, “Please understand… I’ve been watching you for some time.”

“Watching me?”

“To protect you! To make sure you were safe! We had been trying to protect your mother as well, although we obviously failed. Once it became clear that the Cao Wei weren’t targeting you as a baby, we completely left you alone. It was only recently when we realized the Cao Wei were coming after you again that I… Well…”

“That you somehow noticed that I always hold up a girl and walk around with her while I’m having sex?”

“I know it looks bad.”

“It looks really bad. Invasion of privacy a bit, you think?”

“Not intentionally!” Rae’s cheeks were bright pink. “I was trying to make sure someone didn’t murder you! So whenever you brought a girl home - or even girls, plural, that one time - I… ah… w-w-well I had to make sure you didn’t get murdered! Right?!”

“So you watched me having sex? And girls, plural? That was like a week ago!”

“Well, it was about a week ago when we realized that you might potentially have the ability to unlock the gates!”

“Did you like shapeshift to sneak into my bedroom? Transform yourself into my clothes hamper or the desk chair or something?” My mouth suddenly gaped open wide. “I’ve had sex on that desk chair. Please don’t tell me I ever parked my ass on your face and started humping a--”

“No! No! No! I canNOT believe we’re having this conversation!” Rae exclaimed, her English accent thick. She momentarily held her head with hands and then extended them both out to me. “I can turn invisible, alright? No turning into desk chairs.”

“Invisible?” My eyes were wide. I jabbed an accusing finger at her. “How many times have you watched me having sex? And don’t lie to me!”

“I don’t know! I don’t count them! All of them? For the past week?”

“Because you were worried one of those girls might try to murder me?”

“Yes!” she insisted, although there was a distinctly guilty look on her face as she said so.

My eyes narrowed and I folded my arms across my chest.

“Well… ahhh…” she fumbled for a bit before adding, “I also had to make sure you weren’t manipulating those girls against their will. For the girls’ sakes.”

“The Ax Effect isn’t mind-control.”

“I could see that, but there’s a fine line between seduction and taking away a woman’s ability to consent.”

“And once you were able to verify to your own satisfaction that I was neither mind-controlling any of the girls nor in the process of being murdered, you just had to stick around and keep watching me?”

“Well sue me for getting rather excited about it, alright?!?” Rae shouted defensively, throwing both hands at me again. “It’s not often I ge’t’watch a livin’ porno hap’nin’ a few feet right in front of me, now issit? Well, I s’ppose if I’m doin’ surveillance onna man wit’ ’is own Ax Effect, iss pretty offen, innit?”

I had to chuckle at the way her upper-crust English accent had started getting grittier. And I started to wonder myself just how we’d gotten into this conversation.

“You wanna know the truth? The truth is I even start’d masturbatin’ sometimes while watchin’ you hammer the hell out’er summa those girls an’ it was SO hardta not make a sound or e’en join in!” Rae exclaimed incredulously. “Like that lovely Mexican girl, Elener. Oosh. That girl had a booty.”

I blinked, thinking back on Elena. Dark eyes, wild hair, curves for days. She definitely had a booty.

“You were sixty-ninin’ on your bed, her arse was pointed right at me.” Rae’s eyes unfocused. “You were licking up a storm and reachin’ up to spread her arsecheeks and it was all I could do not to dive right in and get a taste m’self.”

I popped my eyebrows. “A taste… of her?”

Rae’s hands clapped over her mouth, and I’d never seen her eyes so big. Hell, her shapeshifting might’ve even kicked in to make her eyes really get as big as saucers, and not as hyperbole.

I smirked and started to chuckle. Rae looked exceptionally embarrassed, but I raised both hands, gesturing with them for her to remain calm. And in a placating tone, I said softly, “It’s alright. Nothing to be ashamed about. I take it you’re into girls. That’s cool, really. I understand exactly what that feels like.”

Rae clenched her eyes shut for a moment and took a deep breath.

“I have to ask though: Are you totally lesbian? Because if you are, it would actually make me feel a lot better about your complete disinterest in me. I mean: I’m so used to having girls gazing fondly at me that it’s felt really weird with you being so utterly unaffected by my Ax Effect.”

Rae rolled her eyes. “I told you: that’s because I’m supernatural, not because I’m gay.”

“So you are gay, right? I mean, with your severe haircut and the blue hair dye and general bitchy attitude, I kinda thought you were butch but then I didn’t want to just dismissively categorize you based on appearance but if you are then it like totally makes sense that you w--”

“Can you please shut up now?”

I shut up and held up both hands, although I couldn’t wipe the smirk off my face. And when a sudden thought entered my head, I couldn’t help but blurt, “Waitaminute. When you smacked me in the face and stormed out of the lounge last night, did you turn invisible and go masturbate watching me and Kayleigh having sex?”

“No, actually,” Rae said with a sigh. “I was happy after finding the blue crystal key, I was horny, and I told you you’re not my type. I went out to a gay bar and brought my own platinum blonde home with me.”

I immediately grinned ear to ear. “Ooh, tell me about her.”

“I will do no such thing,” Rae spat disdainfully, standing erect to her full height and then staring down her nose at me with an expression of deep condescension.

Back to normal. I sighed and shrugged.

Rae sighed and mourned, “We are soooo off-topic now.”

“Yes we are,” I agreed.

“But I DID have a point I was trying to make with the sex thing.”

“Which is?”

“That sex is your superpower. That you derive energy and supernatural strength from it. Perhaps having sex will be the catalyst to you discovering your other abilities.”

I looked skeptical. “You think me having sex will help me develop other superpowers?”

Rae’s grin was all teeth. “One way to find out!”

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Prologue & Chapter 1: The Ax Effect: https://www.patreon.com/posts/102225387

Chapter 2: Santa Monica: https://www.patreon.com/posts/102437478

Chapter 3: The Zellij Fountain: https://www.patreon.com/posts/102691018