NokiMo
Sarah The Rebel
Sarah The Rebel

patreon


Second Wife - Short Fantasy Story

Ah I think I finally did it! I wrote an actually short short story. It is still too long for flash fiction but I might be closer than ever before. 

What finally helped? This article about Kurt Vonnegut's tips on short stories: http://www.openculture.com/2015/04/kurt-vonneguts-8-tips-on-how-to-write-a-good-short-story.html 

Let me know what you think! Honest critique is incredibly helpful to me. 

I  tried writing in present tense which was really hard. My next experiment will be with describing settings better. 

Comments

Thanks for reading and for the feedback!

Sarah The Rebel

I really enjoyed that, I wish the princess was described less esoterically though. The world-horse was an interesting tidbit that had me wanting more, but without more information the significance of being a daughter of the Goddess is lost on me. I loved the tension created by the ending though so keep it up!

Matthew Genus

As writing is one of the skills that kicks my arse and I hate I have trouble critiquing any others! I love reading though so can enjoy your work! So take my words as a fan and someone who shouldn't give you advice ROFL!

Arislen

I agree! Right after I posted it I was like... oh I prolly should have gone back and rewrote the beginning once I decided on a different ending. Thanks for reading and for the feedback <3

Sarah The Rebel

Great story! I think you nailed the beat/tone better towards the end. The eloquent descriptions you wrote of the characters and their actions were great, but maybe too many for a short story of that length? The ending was fantastic, like a knife's edge!

Arislen


Related Creators