Please leave feedback!
Added 2015-10-02 18:44:20 +0000 UTCPlease let me know the good, the bad and the ugly about the latest story. If it makes you uncomfy to share negative feedback, simply make a happy bun:
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Thanks everyone! Your feedback helps me grow as a writer :-)
Comments
Thanks for the feedback! I really have to get better about describing scenery. I wish I could make it a comic! It was my first attempt at a YA story I don't have the PO Box yet because I have to wait for this money to come through, so it will be closer to the end of the month! I'll announce it when I get it. Thanks for being awesome Gary! <3 <3 <3
Sarah The Rebel
2015-10-02 22:50:22 +0000 UTCYou want a reinforcement sandwytch :} you got it. The characters great Aliyeh, Mr. Puddlebits, Asterion, and Jose. Aliyeh reminded me of Kamala Khan. Had a hard time picturing Asterion. Negative is you neglecting the scenery. What was the climate like? Can Aliyeh see Lakeside from the stream she gets her newts from? What are the colors of the potions and the shape of the vials? What's the layout of the store? Does Aliyeh have other ways out of the store and where are they? Back to the positive! The whole story I'm imaging reactions of the characters. I think this story would make a great comic. The narration can be done by Aliyeh talking to her cats or The Sisters in special cases. The story felt like a teen/young adult and would be a good story for BOOM! BOX to publish. Overall a very good and enjoyable story. Ps. Have you got you PO box yet?
Gary Marical
2015-10-02 22:21:42 +0000 UTC
